1-7 August (Paul's post)

August 1


Very early this morning I was awoken by the sound of a dog chasing… and sadly catching a cat outside my door. The military has a thing called General Order #1 which basically outlines things that are prohibited. Those things include gambling, alcohol, sex, porn, and having pets among others. I know everyone has seen stories of Army or Marine units bringing back a dog or even donkey that became the unit pet. This cat was a stray, but an Army guy that has been gone for a little while had adopted it and raised it from a kitten. When he left his replacement started to take care of her. And she recently had two kittens. The guy taking care of all three of them is older and leaving next week. Sadly the momma cat didn’t survive to say goodbye. A stray dog came by and attacked and killed her. In fact the guy tried to step in and almost got attacked himself. The kittens are old enough to survive without their momma, but when their keeper leaves they probably won’t be around much longer.

When I think about it I wonder why someone would risk their career to violate an order just to have a cat. After being here a little while I am starting to understand. I would pay big bucks to have one of my dogs over here with me. It’s that quest for companionship that a pet can bring.

Today I spent the morning setting up my schedule for the month. If everything goes as planned I should have a productive, but not overly busy month. I then worked out and played some more basketball. I should have known not to play today, because my legs were so tired before I even started. I then jammed my finger. Not a good basketball day. I think I’ll lay off a little tomorrow to allow my body to recover.

August 2

This morning at breakfast a guy came up to chat with me and my coworker. He was telling us that he got an email from his daughter’s boyfriend asking permission to marry his daughter. His daughter and her boyfriend are both in the Army and stationed in Germany. Neither he nor his wife has ever met him. His daughter is 21 years old. I think he gave the best answer which was “I believe I raised my daughter right and I trust her judgment, so if she says yes than I approve.”

That got me to thinking about my Emma. I know she is only 5 months old and we have a long time to go before this conversation is happening, but time moves quick. One of my best friends has a daughter and when we first met she was about 7 years old. She is now moving into her teenage years. It seems like only yesterday that she was seven. So I know one day I will look back and think “wow it feels like yesterday that Emma was 5 months old.”

I hope that when that day comes, that some guy thinks he deserves the opportunity to marry my little girl, that I know she was raised to where I can trust her judgment. Of course if I can’t there is a good chance the guy will become fertilizer in my backyard.

August 3

Today was a rough day. I had trouble getting to sleep last night, because I had a million things running through my mind. There wasn’t anything troubling me, but just a lot of thoughts. It was well past midnight when I finally stopped looking at my watch. This late night led me to sleep late and miss breakfast. From that point my day was just a wreck. I did get an audit done, so I was productive.

I forced myself to go workout, but my heart just wasn’t into it. I’m really planning to chalk this up to a blah day. It was very similar to a Saturday back home to where you just don’t want to get off the couch. Nothing to worry about now, but definitely something that I don’t want two days in a row.

August 4

I got back on track today. I got some work done and got a pretty decent workout in. Sadly my weight loss has stopped, but I think it’s because I’m starting to put on more muscle. That is all well and good but my main goal is to get rid of my non-beer belly. I have five more months, so I’m sure I’ll get there.

We got a message today that our FOB has two aggressive dogs running around and attacking people. One is responsible for killing the cat the other night. I guess I’ll have to take my gun with me when I go to the bathroom at night. These are stray, wild dogs so who knows what diseases they are carrying. It’s bad enough when I have to wake up in complete darkness and walk to the bathroom, but now I have to worry about a dog jumping out of the night.

The month of August is also the Islamic holiday of Ramadan. It’s an interesting time because they must fast throughout the day and are not supposed to work. Of course with all this free time many choose to plan attacks and make bombs. So there has been more than the normal sirens going off and I’ve had to spend some time in a bunker due to possible incoming rockets. We’ll be on higher alert this month, but we should still be pretty safe. Like I’ve said since I’ve been here, if there is a rocket/mortar with my name on it then it must be my time to go. Of course I’m not tempting fate so the body armor is nearby, I know where my nearest bunker is, and I’m also not afraid to sleep on my floor if needed. Let’s just hope August goes by as fast as or faster than July did!

August 5

Well, it took a little over a month but this deployment has finally gotten to me. Today has been a day filled with sadness and loneliness. I had a pretty good routine going in the past weeks of working out and eating right, but the last couple days I haven’t been able to really motivate myself to do anything besides sit in my room. I knew this would happen. I’ve heard from multiple people that at the beginning you are so pumped up with getting settled in to your new environment that you don’t think about home. Then you get to the point that all you can imagine is being back home. The good news is that once I push through this it should be pretty smooth until about 4.5 months. At that point you are close enough to done that you just think about the finish line.

Jenn and I have a good routine of Skyping each day before I go to bed and before she goes to lunch. Today she was meeting a friend for lunch so our Skype date was postponed until later. That was perfectly fine with me because I want Jenn out of the house being social as much as possible. The sad part of the evening came when I waited up late to Skype and then it wouldn’t work. I keep reminding myself that I’m super lucky to have the capability to call and Skype with her each night from the comfort of my room. Even though I realize how lucky I am (maybe even spoiled) it sucks when I miss out on that one happy moment each day that keeps me going. That 30 minutes of me, Jenn, and Emma being a family and just hanging out is the goal of each day. I’m happy that I have that moment most days and it just sucks when I miss out on it. Here’s to hoping the internet cooperates tomorrow night and that I get through this rough patch quickly.

August 6

I’m powering through this wall of loneliness. As if my wife knew I was feeling this way I got two packages from her. It was just nice to read her cards that she included. I didn’t get to the gym because of work, but I did make it back to the basketball court. It was nice to play and take my mind off of things.

Tomorrow I am trying to fly back to the other FOB. Hopefully they honor my reservation and the flight goes off. There are all kinds of news about a helicopter that got shot down in the mountains of eastern Afghanistan. The stories talk about the dangers and in this case 31 American died along with some Afghanies. It’s a strange feeling to hear those stories the day before I am planning to board a helicopter and fly through the mountains of eastern Afghanistan. Mine is only a 20 minute flight so I should be safe. Let’s just hope I can keep my schedule.

August 7

Today was a good day. I actually had a flight that showed up as scheduled and took me to the other FOB. I was able to get to work and although I have found a few things this is a really well run place. The guys that work here are also a good group of people. I made it here in time for brunch (that’s what they have on Sunday) and the food was pretty good.

There are a few really good benefits of this FOB even though it is in the middle of nowhere. First, since it has an Army combat kitchen instead of a contractor’s chow hall I can get over-medium eggs. I miss that so much. A contractor has to cook everything well done including eggs, steak, etc. Second, the Skype is so much better here even though it’s free. It kind of sucks to be paying $80 a month back at Ghazni and can barely stay connected. Third, the laundry setup is also good, so I actually only packed dirty clothes. I washed them as part of my laundry audit to test that the washer and dryer works…haha

I also had ice cream today. I had made a vow that I would not eat any sweets like that until I got under 200lbs, but I have decided that I need to let myself have a treat now and then. It was the greatest ice cream ever! I couldn’t tell you what kind it was but it was delicious.

I’ll be here for at least another day. Jenn and I are going to take advantage of this good Skype so I can watch Emma try to eat some rice cereal with a spoon. This is my baby’s first step to solid foods. I can’t wait to get back and sneak her some goodies when Mommy isn’t looking. J

The Big Latch On 2011

I have had my moments with breastfeeding.  For sure Erin, our new parent support person and lactation consultant, on the base knows all about it as I think I saw her 8 times when we first brought Emma home.  Let's not even mention the 1500 phone calls I've made to her some of which I was crying when she answered the phone.  Although I had always told people I planned to breastfeed a year I wasn't convinced myself that it would actually occur. 

When I was gritting my teeth in excruciating pain because Emma had a terrible latch I was pretty sure we were going to get nowhere close to a year.  God bless Janice the LC from my nursing mom's group for getting me through that.

When I first started breastfeeding I never would have pictured myself breastfeeding in public and now I do it with hardly another thought about it.  I don't even use the cover anymore unless I'm at a restaurant or something equally as public.  I did breastfeed at the Buffalo Zoo without the cover because it was just too darn hot and let me just say that no one even noticed me sitting there with my nipple hanging out.  I do try to be discreet and covered as much as possible even without the dreaded cover. 

And I for sure never would have pictured myself attending an event like The Big Latch On to help try and break the world record for most women breastfeeding simultaneously. 

But that is just what I did today.  Stinky and I picked up our friend's Liz and Caleb and headed to Isis Parenting to get our latch on.  There was a very diverse group of women there and a diverse age range of children including some toddlers.  I started to think that it might be okay to breastfeed a little longer than one year. 

Obviously Stinky had a good time playing with Caleb.

We weren't doing anything!

Hey, whatcha doin over there?

Ok, I'm gonna play with this and you watch me.

Here Caleb.  You can have this one, too.

I do love the cuddle time I get with Stinky when she is nursing.  For example, today she actually took an afternoon nap in her crib and I used that opportunity to lay down, too.  Of course she still doesn't sleep very long and it seemed like I was more tired when she was ready to get up.  I brought her in bed with me and let her side nurse and before I knew it I had fallen asleep and was waking up an hour later.  I think she fell asleep while nursing, too, which allowed her to have a longer nap. 

So, I have no idea whether or not we broke the world record, but it was a good time. 

Wow, I didn't realize it was so late!  (haha who knew I'd someday think 9:30pm was late)  I need to finish up my wine and head to be. 

1 Month Down...5 more to go

We have survived our first month of Paul's deployment.  Scratch that.  I think we are thriving which I didn't expect.  When I was 9 months pregnant and Paul came home and told me he was getting deployed I just had these visions of myself curled up in the fetal position at the airport as he boarded the plane...TSA coming to whisk me away to the loony bin.  Or crying all the time. 

Well, we avoided that whole airport fetal position thing by having a friend drive him and staying home with Emma really didn't allow me too much crying or feeling sorry for myself. 

Since then I've had a few days in which I've felt really blue, but I always try to keep life in perspective and I refuse to feel sorry for myself when so many others are in situations that I cannot imagine, situations that I actively pray God never makes me experience.  A 6 month deployment seems like a cake walk.  (I've never actually done a cake walk and I'm not 100% sure what it is, but it sounds fun...I do love cake). 

Other than the hot flashes, hair falling out, and lack of sleep I think we are all doing pretty well.  Paul is doing pretty much what he did at home (watching tv and playing on the internet except now he only gets 4 channels and watches a lot more movies) and our life is similar as well. 

We went to our first infant playgroup today and Emma was the youngest baby there.  Even though she isn't crawling yet I think we'll keep going if only to expose her to some kid germs.  Plus I like to get out of the house each day and going out to lunch every day is getting expensive.  Emma was so good (as usual) and fell asleep at the end as it occurs during her usual nap time. 

Although I have noticed an increase in the emotional eating.  I am starting to feel less blue (my increased dosage of my meds must be kicking in) and now need to (once again) get on track with WW and working out.  My work outs have suffered b/c Em and I have been running around so much that we are usually out during her afternoon nap time and its next to impossible to work out if she's awake.  And I'm much too lazy to work out when she goes to sleep at 7pm.  That's my dinner time. 

So, my next project is getting the house organized.  In lieu of getting new furniture I've settled for re-arranging some furniture and Big Brothers Big Sisters Foundation is coming on Monday to pick up a bunch of stuff for donation. 

And in other random news I watched 4 episodes of Jerseylicious today and I hate myself for it just a little.  lol