Gran Torino and funny conversations

Paul and I have seen some good movies lately...Marley & Me, Bride Wars, and tonight Gran Torino. I have to admit I was not that thrilled about going, but since Paul so graciously took me to see Bride Wars I felt that, in the spirit of compromise, I needed to take him to see Gran Torino.

Whoa...

It was a truly fantastic movie. You know that when you are leaving a theater and everyone is absolutely silent that the movie touched people way down to their souls.

So, I sent my mom, dad, and sister a text message that said "Gran Torino is sooo good and sooo sad."

From this my dad calls and leaves me a voicemail about how he just got my message...um, yeah dad because I just sent it 2 minutes ago.

So, I call him back and he says "Oh, you're driving home? Are you having problem with the Gran Torino?"

So, I say "What?"

My dad thought my text meant that I was driving in a Gran Torino and having problems with it and was stuck on the side of the road. Hmmmmmm....luckily one of his friends was with him and explained that Gran Torino was also a movie.

But people who know what completely random associations I make should now understand where I get that trait from...poop rolling down the road anyone? A shark's tooth on a deck of a cruise ship...I mean bird poop?

Anyways, it was a truly moving, spectacular, change your outlook movie. Go see it!

Things that may cause me to resume drinking

So, we all know I've given up drinking for January...at least until my party on the 24th. But today...today I almost gave in. I desperately wanted a glass of wine when I got home from work. I was strong, but I think anyone could've forgiven me for my slip.

First we had a LONG night. Sasha, our boxer, was sick and barked to go out every 2 hours. I got up the first time and Paul got up every other time (it was too cold for me to get out of bed), but since I'm a light sleeper I woke up every time.

I had a LONG day. It started with saying goodbye to one of my clients who is going to rehab. She's like my fave and I wish her all the best. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I wouldn't be here when she got back, but I will make sure I say goodbye somehow before we leave.

Then I rushed home to let the dogs out and make sure Sasha was okay.

Then I drove to Tifton and spent an hour and a half with my angry client...she's a trip! She is the loudest talker ever. Imagine yelling and now imagine that is the person's regular tone of voice.

Then I met another therapist for lunch. And we had a great time! But I found out that Turner County, GA still is segregated...as in segregated proms and segregated cheerleading squads (the white girls cheer for football, the black girls cheer for basketball). 2007 was their FIRST desegregated prom! Are you f*cking kidding me? And she said the PARENTS were the ones who continue to plan these seperate proms and even though they had the ONE prom, that the parents still held seperate events. What kind of school district allows this to occur? I may have to write Oprah and get her on this case!

Then it was back to a client's house. She may have the worst children in America. I am fairly certain her children would cause the super nanny or nanny 911 to curl up in the fetal position and enter into a coma like state out of sheer horror. And this was a good day. I don't understand why the mother isn't an alcoholic. And child abuse isn't even her issue (but between us...would totally understand if it was). Imagine 3 minions of the devil...and they are only 1, 3, and 4 years old. There was kicking, biting, throwing things. There is a puppy and I'm constantly afraid I may have to try and kidnap the puppy. Everytime they go near the dog I think to myself "Run, puppy, run!" And mom said the same thing out loud!

Then I drove AN HOUR to another client's house where she started crying except it was like listening to the air being let out of a balloon for 30 minutes. Neighborhood dogs started barking. High pitched, awful noise. And I swear she talked for 30 minutes without stopping for air. And she hadn't turned the light on when I got there so it got progressively darker until finally I couldn't see to write in my notebook anymore and I had to stop her so she could turn the light on.

Then I got home and as soon as I walk into the house it smelled like something had DIED somewhere. All I can think is that Sasha had pooped in her cage and I was going to walk into a MESS. I had to put Vicks under my nose just to go in their without gagging. And what did I find when I got in there? NOTHING. I looked everywhere in the house and checked the dog. Not a thing. It was so strange! And so disgusting. I still have no idea why or what. I even looked under the bed. I was afraid one of my cats had exploded under there or something.

Then I caught up on the Real Housewives of Orange County from last night. Let me just say...

Tamra...BITCH and a bad person.
Vicki...BITCH and annoying as all get out
Jeanna...I like her
Gretchen...I'd kill someone to have her body; however, she is a gold digger and kinda slutty
Lynn...she seems okay; however, she always looks like she has a mouth full of marbles and her daughter makes me want to punch something
Laurie...miss her, wonder how she's that lucky

And the Valdosta Daily Times printed my rant, but totally changed it:

To the parents at the Steamhouse restaurant last night who refused to take their crying 2-year-old home: Take a parenting class. You ruined dinner for every person in the restaurant. Just thought you should know.

And didn't print it until today so the meaning is completely gone.

Oh well. Time go to bed so I can do it all over again tomorrow...

A long journey

I have been making an effort to de-clutter my life. Part of this has been going through old photos and getting rid of all the doubles I have, setting aside pics to send to others, and sorting through all the pics of my exhusband, Todd.

I have always struggled what to do with pictures of me and my exhusband. Sometimes that life seems like it happened to a whole other person, and yet it was a part of my life. Just throwing the pictures somehow seems wrong...almost like it would be disrespectful to that piece of me and to Todd.

So, I decided that I'd send all his family pictures that don't have me in them to his mom with a note explaining that I thought maybe she would like them. I am not sure if this is the right or wrong thing to do. I don't think they have the best opinion of me and I don't want her to think I'm sending them to be spiteful. I just felt I couldn't get rid of pictures of their family because I've always loved his family. When we got divorced it was them I missed.

But I did get rid of the pictures of me and Todd (minus my wedding album). I feel that I'm finally ready to let that piece of my life go and move on. I kept the wedding album because regardless of our divorce much of my family and friends were in attendance and I wanted to have that memory of all of us together. My closest friends were in my wedding. My Grammy was there and my mom's family who is now estranged.

Looking through all old photos brought out a lot of different emotions. Some made me laugh, some made me wonder how I could look so much fatter than I do now when I was 20 lbs. lighter, and some made me regretful.

The regret is because I was a really bad wife. Looking back I can remember all the times when I treated Todd horribly just because I was unhappy. I think the unhappiness shows in my physical appearance. In almost every picture I just did not look good. And I'm embarrassed at how I acted towards him and his family. If I could go back and change things I would. That's not to say I wouldn't have ended up divorced, but I would've handled things differently. I would've acted more grateful and graceful and less awful. It makes me sad for myself and for Todd to think of how I acted during those years because all he ever asked for was for me to love him.

I've been on a long journey and I hope I've learned something. I think I have. I think I have become more peaceful, more content with my life. I let go of things that needed to be let go of and have found happiness in the happiness of others. I have kept the friends I've needed to keep and let go of those I didn't and made entirely new ones in the process. Despite my desire to lose weight I'm more accepting of my physical appearance and I think my happiness with myself shows in how I look now. I know myself better and I am always striving to be a better person, to learn, to grow spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.

If for some reason I died tonight I would die happy and content with the life I've lived. And I guess that is truly all anyone can hope for.

The reality of being a crappy parent

So, we went to dinner tonight at a seafood restaurant we had never been to before. It was actually pretty busy and we got a table on the second floor near the bar. And it may have been a fire station at one point b/c it had 3 garage doors and all concrete block walls. So, it was loud.

Enter a family of 4: mom, dad, son approximately 4, daughter approximately 2. Begin the crying. And I'm not talking about "mom I hit my head" crying, but the incessant, no reason behind it, fake crying that makes you want to jam a butter knife into your ears just so you don't have to listen anymore.

So, what's mom's big solution? A time out in the corner. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, in a packed restaurant she sticks her 2 year old crying child in the corner and walks away. Does the time out make the spawn of satan stop crying? No, she just cries harder. And why was she crying? Because she didn't want to sit in a high chair or her own seat...she wanted someone to hold her. Spoiled much?

She cried...THE ENTIRE TIME WE WERE THERE. I could feel my blood pressure rising as my hands started to shake and all I could think about was how much I HATED these people. Mom finally took her outside and Paul asked if it would be wrong to clap. She bought her back in and crying resumed. You could see the murderous looks being shot in their direction and yet the parents were oblivious. They actually ordered their food (we had the same unfortunate waiter who hated them as much as we did...we know this because we discussed it when he would come back to our table).

You know what? When your kid is causing other people to HATE YOU then it's time to pack up your food and eat at home. Plus it was 8:30pm. Why are you feeding your very young children at 8:30pm? Your kids should've been fed at 6pm and already in bed. I, in fact, suggested to our waiter that he bring their food out in to go boxes and tell them, "Here's your food...to go...now go."

So, then Paul and I started contemplating what we would say to these people should we have been unlucky enough to sit next to them. My response would've been, "If you don't shut your kid up, I'm going to slit your throat with my fork." Paul's would've been, "Either take your kid outside or I'm going to beat up your husband." I also tried to figure out if there was anything on our table that I could've thrown across the 50 feet and hit them with. Or perhaps knocked their child out with so she would SHUT UP!

Just when I thought I was going to get an opportunity to say something to them as we walked out the door they got up and left before we did. And blessed silence filled the restaurant.

Paul and I are now going to write to the "Rants and Raves" section of the Valdosta Daily Times in hopes that these awful parents will read about what awful parents they are and make a different choice in the future regarding their lack of appropriate public parenting skills. Mine went something like this: To the parents at the Steamhouse restaurant last night who refused to leave when their 2 yr. old wouldn't stop crying...YOU SUCK. Take a parenting class. You ruined dinner for the entire restaurant. Just thought you should know.

Now, I know I have yet to have children and I love all my "nieces and nephews," but I am also fairly confident that NONE of my friends would subject other people to their kid's hysterical behavior in public for AN HOUR.

I guess perhaps it's good that I don't yet have children; however, I can't see my attitude on this situation changing anytime soon. Some things just require common decency. And no, I have no sympathy for poor parents who just deserve a night out to dinner. Absolutely you deserve to go out, but then you should go at an appropriate time for your child and you should teach your child how to behave in public.

There goes my babysitting jobs...

Animal House

Let me give you a quick recap of my week.

Work was work. I have several new clients. When I called my boss, per her request, to obtain some additional information as to one new client she said, "I think he's some kind of offender." Hmmm...WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN? Like a sex offender, did he kill someone, can I have some more info? She didn't know. So I gamely go to his trailer and actually think he seems quite nice (despite his lengthy criminal history) and he has a chihuahua. Well, his mom has a chihuahua. And I still cannot pronounce his name even though he told me what it was and I have it written down (far more vowels than consonants...it's like 2 names together...like if I was Jennannioeugrnnta). I also have his baby mama for a client who lives two trailers down and across the street. I almost killed myself going up and down the stairs into her trailer because they go straight up and do not appear attached to anything (such as the trailer or each other). Oh, and did I mention they shake and wobble as you step on them. She may have the worst children in America. And a puppy.

Speaking of pets...keep in mind that my Chinese Crested Beauty has to wear a diaper because she, at 6 years old, is not potty trained and feels the house is her personal toilet. After having the carpets cleaned, again, at Christmas I decided NO MORE and thus the diaper which was working great...until we went to my mom's for Christmas and my mom's dogs literally scared the piss out of Beauty...and into her diaper...twice...

Last night I'm laying on the couch and Beauty is next to me. Beast, the chihuahua, jumps up and I think "ewww Beast, you stink" and get up to let the dogs outside. Beauty doesn't come. So, I come back to pick her up and as I take off her diaper I realize her diaper is full of poop. My dog pooped in her diaper (how many people can say that phrase?). So, now I am trying to carry the dog, with her diaper still half on, not drop any poop on the carpet, and open the backdoor. I was in fact successful (although is it truly successful when your dog poops in a diaper?).

Then our cat, Simba. Simba who I was conned into taking by my college roommate. Simba who was born outside. Simba who apparently believes he is a dog and is OBSESSED with our Boston Terrier, Jojo. Simba constantly harasses Jojo, rubs against Jojo, tries to wrestle with Jojo (because he wrestles with Beauty--perhaps the funniest thing ever to be seen in history--a hairless dog wrestling with a cat). Simba also desperately wants to go outside with the dogs and scratches at the door when they're outside. Simba eats dog food despite his ever full bowl of cat food. Simba even lays sprawled out on the floor like a dog.

Don't even get me started on Beauty and Beast who physically fight when we go on walks and embarrass me beyond belief.

I know you are all jealous of my glamorous life...

Is it bad when exercise causes open wounds?

Last night we took the dogs for a walk and I put on a pair of regular old workout pants. As we walk my thighs rub together to the point that I'm surprised my underwear didn't catch on fire. We get home and I realize that I have RUBBED THE SKIN OFF MY THIGHS AND NOW HAVE AN ACTUAL SORE. Which continues to be painful and is now covered in a scab. Let me just say scabs on your inner thighs do NOT lend themselves to romance.

But that did not deter me from spending an hour at the gym today...30 min on the elliptical and once around the circuit. The Wii said I LOST 2 lbs; however, my Mii is still chubby and in fact I noticed that her belly sticks out from under her shirt which looks like a half shirt, but isn't. Sad. :(

I then bucked up and we took the dogs on a walk again (wooowooo), but was smart enough to wear bike shorts UNDER my pants to save my thighs. Which worked delightfully.

But now I'm sore, but in a good way. I've also been taking a 15 day cleanse; however, am disappointed b/c so far there has been any cleansing...Bastards! I think the girl at the Smoothie King where I bought it lied to me about her boss losing 15 lbs. on it. I mean I can't imagine that someone who works part time at a Smoothie King would LIE about a product NOT approved by the FDA, but I guess it could happen.

I did get some additional exercise today LAUGHING MY ASS OFF at Paul playing rhythm step on the Wii Fit. And let me just say that he LOVES to shake his groove thang.

The reality of stupidity

Paul and I drove 2 HOURS to take 2 of our 4 dogs to a dog park in Jacksonville, FL. The reason we only took 2 dogs is because my "dogs" (aka small furry children...okay, only 1 has fur, but whatever) do not enjoy the dog park. Our trips to the dog park basically consist of Beauty trying to escape the entire time (which is her sitting by the entrance, looking pitiful, and begging people to free her) or sitting next to me on the bench and Beast obliviously walking alone sniffing trees and grass with zero interaction with other dogs.

So, we took Sasha and Jojo who LOVE the dog park. They ran, wrestled, barked, and swam with joy. And then conked out completely for the entire ride home. Thank god because Sasha's breath could kill you when she gets too close.

We decide to go eat at Outback for dinner. Yummy! Except we were slightly derailed on the way to our call ahead seating time by 2 people FIGHTING in the middle of Northside Dr. And by 2 people I mean a man and a woman punching each other. So I tell Paul to call 911 as I am driving and he does and then he tells me to turn around.

We get back and he's on the phone with 911 and I pull over and there's another car also parked. As we get out of the car this guy is screaming "Get back in the car" except with a more urban feel to his speech. What does Paul do? He hands me the phone and walks across the road.

Now I'm on the phone with 911 like an eye witness reporter giving her the play by play. The other car was apparently the girl's friend because the girl gets in and they start to drive away...well, they start to slowly drive next to the guy who is walking down the road screaming at Paul. Oh, and Paul...is screaming back. Nice!

The guy then gets in the car with the 2 girls. (FYI if you are stupid enough to let this guy get in the car with you after you fighting on the side of the road then you deserve to get your ass beat by him when you get home)

So, what do we do? We follow them of course. All the way to Walmart on Inner Perimiter and me on the phone the ENTIRE time giving 911 the 411. We believe they drove to Walmart to determine if we were following them because they parked sideways near the Goodwill trailer and all of them got out of the car and looked around at which point the police came roaring up (which actually was pretty funny).

3 police cars show up and LET THE PEOPLE GO. Which then causes Paul to get into a heated discussion with the officers which causes the one officer to forcefully give us his name and storm off into his squad car which causes me to shake my head in frustration and hunger.

When Paul is finally done "voicing" his opinion on why the police suck to the police officers we get to Outback where we are pitied and still give our 7:15 call ahead time despite not arriving till 7:30pm and we ended up being sat around 8pm.

You will all be proud to know that I refrained from having a drink even though I DESPERATELY wanted one, but I did chow down on some cheese fries (we only shared a half order though). And I did not eat my entire meal.

Driving back we tried to theorize why this couple was in the middle of the road WITH NO CAR to be seen (near McKey Planation and Crestwood). We decided they were planning or carrying out a home invasion and for some reason got into a fight about it. Maybe the girl wanted a bigger cut or something or changed her mind. Or maybe he forgot his gun. I suppose we shall never know.

Morbidly obese

Laying in bed last night, flipping through channels we came across a show on TLC on morbidly obese people. I have to admit that I have always held a little bit of a prejudice against those who are morbidly obese...not so much out of hatred, but more fear of how I could end up myself.

The first show was something about obese teens and it made me really angry...not at the teens themselves, but at their parents. How on earth could you allow your child to reach the point at 16 years old they need gastric bypass surgery just to survive? The one mother had such improper expectations of her 16 year old and babied him to such an awful extent (she had another child who had died) that you just couldn't imagine a way for this boy to ever have a normal life UNLESS he and his mother received counseling. He was in a situation in which he was almost bedridden. They cut off 70 lbs. of fat from his stomach when they did his bypass surgery. And instead of acting like a 16 year old, he acted like an 8 year old, and mother treated him like an 8 year old although he did not appear to have any intellectual defects that would cause that.

It is my opinion that social services need to step in in those circumstances and deal with that family so that a child does not die of obesity and so the parents stop enabling the child. And its interesting in ALL the cases shown the parents were overweight as well. Maybe not morbidly obese, but certainly at the point that they needed to lose 50+ lbs.

Then we watched Half Ton Mom. This woman weighed 900 lbs. and was bedridden. She was unable to roll over, care for herself, and basically her life existed in her bed. She had 2 beautiful children and her parents appeared to be of normal weight for their age and height. Her sister is overweight, but not morbidly so. Hearing her story made me think 2 things:

When she was hit by a drunk driver and confined to bed someone had to be the one bringing her food that lacked nutritional value. Perhaps if someone had stepped in earlier and fed her nutritional foods then she wouldn't have ballooned to the point where she weighed 900 lbs.

But she did posses a beautiful spirit and show courage when she opted for gastric bypass surgery knowing she may die from the surgery. She had little options as she either needed to lose the weight medically, risk and all, or she would die within the year from her weight. And so she had the surgery...and died 2 weeks later of a heart attack. Her story made me sad, especially for her daughters. And so I emailed them on myspace just a little bit ago (they showed her page on TLC).

This morning we watched The Biggest Loser: Family Edition. When the one daughter weighed LESS than I do currently I knew I really needed to get serious (as in her BEFORE weight was LESS than my current weight and then she lost 42 lbs). Paul pointed out that she was not as tall as I am, but still. I cannot continue to ignore my weight and hope that it will magically disappear. I cannot think myself thin.

So, I went to the gym. And came home and played Wii fit. I have decided that while I LOVE wine I am going to abstain until January 24th (party that afternoon) and also am going to lay off the soda. Hopefully my heart burn issues will improve and I'll drop a few pounds to boot. I can't completely give up my coffee though (although I have gone from daily to twice a week).

2009 is about being healthier, living healthier, and continuing to work on myself...being content and at peace and grateful.