I am most every pregnant woman feels this way towards the end of the pregnancy...when you are just so uncomfortable and miserable and huge that you would pay a voodoo witch doctor to cast a spell over you if it meant you could deliver a healthy baby even one day earlier.
So, yeah...
With the toddler I had horrible acid reflux my whole pregnancy. The kind where you wake up suffocating on your own stomach acid. It was a super good time.
With this munchkin I've had horrible leg pain. Not Charlie horse leg pain (although I did have one of those the other night, too), but just joint pain. My hips, knees, ankles all are painful at night.
Did I mention we are living in a hotel now? We made a valiant effort to have the toddler sleep on her cot last night, but when she was still awake at almost 10pm I called. Time of death 9:54pm. The little con artist had outlasted us.
We threw her in bed with us and all went to sleep. I woke up to use the restroom, thinking I had to have been in bed awhile. Nope. It was 11:19.
Back to bed. Woke up again because my hips hurt and I had to pee. Surely it was the middle of the night. Nope. 1:09. Sweet mother of God!
Back to bed. Woke up again. Well, you know the story. This time birds were outside chirping so surely it was close to daybreak. Nope. 3:08am. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME????? I know most people would be thrilled to think they get an extra 2, 3, 4 hours of sleep, but I was just ready to get out of bed and get up for the day so my legs would feel better.
I finally decided to sit up in bed which did help my hips except the toddler had a nightmare and decided she needed to lay on mommy. Not such an easy task when mommy is sitting up.
I felt like night was never going to end which I tried to be grateful for at 3:08am when I was sitting on the toilet for what felt like the 50th time. Ya know last night on earth and all that crap.
And lest you think I'm just a complainer I am super grateful for this pregnancy and for what looks like a healthy baby in there. I don't need a million comments on being grateful. I practice gratitude in my daily life. I get it. I am probably one of the most grateful people on the planet. But sometimes shit just hurts and just because I need to complain a little doesn't mean I'm not grateful for every head butt in the ribs or kick in the cuchina.
In other news, the Nascar pit crew that the military sent to pack us finished 85% of the packing yesterday and thinks they'll be done by noon today. These guys are AMAZING! Let me just say, too, that if you are a military family and get packed up by TMO offer to buy them lunch. Most times they won't accept, but they surely appreciate the offer and will work extra hard for you. The lead guy yesterday told me most people don't even offer which made me sad. I offer everyone who does work at my house at least a glass of water or a soda or something. I think it just is a nice common courtesy.
Oh, and the toddler has decided she would like to start using the potty. When we are living in a hotel, about to have a baby, and my mom and sister are going to be watching her in a couple weeks. The toddler has impeccable timing.
Okay, I need to go shower. I have to stop and get donuts before I head over to our house with the toddler. Mmmmmm donuts....
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Nothing Says Good Morning
Like a Charlie horse in your calf. And nothing scares a toddler like waking up, walking into mommy's and daddy's bedroom, and finding daddy running around the bed like its on fire while mommy flops around her back like an upside down turtle as daddy screams "What can I do?" And Mommy screams,"Get me up, get me up."
I thought I was soooo lucky with Em because I never had 1 Charlie horse and I was thinking maybe I'd be sooo lucky this time, too.
Apparently not.
I thought I was soooo lucky with Em because I never had 1 Charlie horse and I was thinking maybe I'd be sooo lucky this time, too.
Apparently not.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Goodbyes
Last night we had some of our friends over, sort of a reverse housewarming party as we are moving into a hotel this weekend until we move at the end of June. We had already sold our patio furniture and grill, people had to bring their own chairs, and we just ordered pizzas, but none of that mattered.
Last night Paul wrote down on our calendar when everyone was leaving...May 2, June 2, June 25, July 3...
As I took a shower this morning I got a little teary eyed. I think it finally hit me that we would be saying goodbye to these people sooner rather than later. These people who have been our family for the last 4 years, these people who are the people I would and did call if Paul was out of town, these people who are our friends and I'm going to miss them more than they'll know.
We aren't perfect. We have our flaws like any family. We've seen each other get married, have babies, fall out of love and back in it again, move, and have spent Thanksgivings, Christmases, and Easters with, but above all we've shared lots of laughter.
I really felt I was ready to move. I didn't think I'd cried. But I guess I was wrong.
Last night Paul wrote down on our calendar when everyone was leaving...May 2, June 2, June 25, July 3...
As I took a shower this morning I got a little teary eyed. I think it finally hit me that we would be saying goodbye to these people sooner rather than later. These people who have been our family for the last 4 years, these people who are the people I would and did call if Paul was out of town, these people who are our friends and I'm going to miss them more than they'll know.
We aren't perfect. We have our flaws like any family. We've seen each other get married, have babies, fall out of love and back in it again, move, and have spent Thanksgivings, Christmases, and Easters with, but above all we've shared lots of laughter.
I really felt I was ready to move. I didn't think I'd cried. But I guess I was wrong.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Phoebe (FRIENDS) - The Evander Holyfield Phase aka Rock My World
Let's just say that right now I am going through a Rock phase as in Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as in the man of my dreams...literally...every freaking night and there is nothing I can do in my actual life to alleviate any residual symptoms which sort of sucks for Paul right now because he'd be getting lucky every night.
Of course 2 nights ago I dreamt that I was at someone's house (John Cena's?) eating burritos with The Rock and my cousin Katie. So bizarre.
But last night...well, I'll leave that up to your imagination. And if someone wants to get me a lifesize cardboard cutout of The Rock I would not object in any way. Just message me for my address. Thanks!
Monday, April 15, 2013
Hot Mess part 156
2:20am
Em, "I WANT DADDY! I WANT DADDY! I WANT MOMMY!"
Paul stumbles into Em's room and brings her back into our bed.
Em, "Water please, mommy. Sip of water."
Me, "Here's some water. Go to sleep."
6:18am
Em, "Mommy milk. Milk mommy please."
I stumble downstairs, get the milk, haul my giant whale body back upstairs, and give my sweet toddler her milk.
6:28am
Em, "Go potty, Mommy. Go potty."
Me, "You need to go potty?"
Em, "Go potty."
Hustle her to the bathroom, notice her diaper has leaked and her jammie pants are wet, read Green Eggs and Ham TWICE, she does NOT go potty.
6:40am
Back to bed and notice a HUGE wet spot on our sheets. Strip off the bottom sheet, put 2 pillow cases over the wet spot on our mattress, pull up the top sheet, throw Em back on bed, and crawl between top sheet and blanket. Give Em my phone so she can watch Rapunzel.
7:00am
Em, "Wake up. Wake up."
Come downstairs. Get Em set up with breakfast. Go into basement to let dogs out and notice that our boxer has peed all over the floor. Luckily, she peed on the rug remnant we use to wipe our feet in the unfinished basement. Sigh.
Haul whale body back upstairs, throw sheets into washing machine, get my breakfast, try to work.
Em fusses on and off ALL FREAKING MORNING. Finally finish most of what I need to do and off we head to Target.
I could not look worse today if I had tried. My hair looks like rats have nested in it over night, none of my maternity shirts fit, but thank goodness for maternity pants and that panel of fabric that goes up and over your belly. Luckily I can't see anything below the top of my stomach so I don't care that the rest of the world is subject to viewing the belly panel, and I barely could muster up the energy to put on moisturizer much less make up.
And I fed my daughter something called a chicken stick for lunch that came in a jar of oil because I didn't realize we were out of frozen chicken nuggets.
Maybe I should've gone to Walmart today instead of Target.
Em, "I WANT DADDY! I WANT DADDY! I WANT MOMMY!"
Paul stumbles into Em's room and brings her back into our bed.
Em, "Water please, mommy. Sip of water."
Me, "Here's some water. Go to sleep."
6:18am
Em, "Mommy milk. Milk mommy please."
I stumble downstairs, get the milk, haul my giant whale body back upstairs, and give my sweet toddler her milk.
6:28am
Em, "Go potty, Mommy. Go potty."
Me, "You need to go potty?"
Em, "Go potty."
Hustle her to the bathroom, notice her diaper has leaked and her jammie pants are wet, read Green Eggs and Ham TWICE, she does NOT go potty.
6:40am
Back to bed and notice a HUGE wet spot on our sheets. Strip off the bottom sheet, put 2 pillow cases over the wet spot on our mattress, pull up the top sheet, throw Em back on bed, and crawl between top sheet and blanket. Give Em my phone so she can watch Rapunzel.
7:00am
Em, "Wake up. Wake up."
Come downstairs. Get Em set up with breakfast. Go into basement to let dogs out and notice that our boxer has peed all over the floor. Luckily, she peed on the rug remnant we use to wipe our feet in the unfinished basement. Sigh.
Haul whale body back upstairs, throw sheets into washing machine, get my breakfast, try to work.
Em fusses on and off ALL FREAKING MORNING. Finally finish most of what I need to do and off we head to Target.
I could not look worse today if I had tried. My hair looks like rats have nested in it over night, none of my maternity shirts fit, but thank goodness for maternity pants and that panel of fabric that goes up and over your belly. Luckily I can't see anything below the top of my stomach so I don't care that the rest of the world is subject to viewing the belly panel, and I barely could muster up the energy to put on moisturizer much less make up.
And I fed my daughter something called a chicken stick for lunch that came in a jar of oil because I didn't realize we were out of frozen chicken nuggets.
Maybe I should've gone to Walmart today instead of Target.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Preschool
Holy crap. I just emailed the director of admissions for an international school where we are moving. I don't know if I'm ready for all this.
The school is great. Em would be exposed to both French and Spanish in the toddler program and then the preschool program is a full immersion program. I am NOT ready for the preschool program. They go on field trips. I think I'd have a heart attack. But a 2 morning a week toddler program...I might be able to xanax my way through that.
The thing is that I'm really excited for the possibility of this opportunity for Em. I think she'd love it and I think she'd learn a lot and she loves to play with other kids and it would allow me alone time with the new baby.
But.....
All I can think about is the school shooting in CT and all those sweet babies killed.
I know I cannot live my life with Em strapped to my side. It's not healthy for her and it's not healthy for me. I don't want her to grow up afraid of every little thing. She deserves to explore the world.
So, assuming tuition is not a billion dollars per semester and that they still have openings I will work through my fears and anxiety and enroll Em in the toddler program. For I truly believe that it is only through facing the things that scare us and overcoming them do we really grow as people.
The school is great. Em would be exposed to both French and Spanish in the toddler program and then the preschool program is a full immersion program. I am NOT ready for the preschool program. They go on field trips. I think I'd have a heart attack. But a 2 morning a week toddler program...I might be able to xanax my way through that.
The thing is that I'm really excited for the possibility of this opportunity for Em. I think she'd love it and I think she'd learn a lot and she loves to play with other kids and it would allow me alone time with the new baby.
But.....
All I can think about is the school shooting in CT and all those sweet babies killed.
I know I cannot live my life with Em strapped to my side. It's not healthy for her and it's not healthy for me. I don't want her to grow up afraid of every little thing. She deserves to explore the world.
So, assuming tuition is not a billion dollars per semester and that they still have openings I will work through my fears and anxiety and enroll Em in the toddler program. For I truly believe that it is only through facing the things that scare us and overcoming them do we really grow as people.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Toddlers
My toddler just had a meltdown. I'm talking sitting on the floor, crying hysterically, inconsolable because we were outside, she wasn't listening, and I made her come inside. I could feel myself getting frustrated with her so I took a deep breath and picked her up and we went and sat on the couch until she calmed down. I spoke softly to her while she cried, encouraged her to stop crying, and tell me what was wrong. She was calm within a few minutes because I was calm. I'm not saying I'm a perfect parent. I am far from it, but I do try to improve my parenting skills every day and be a better today than I was yesterday.
The thing is toddlers don't have the language skills or the emotional understanding to express what they are feeling verbally. Yes, I believe my toddler was mad, but she doesn't have the words to tell me she was mad that she had to come inside. She also doesn't have the language skills to necessarily understand why we had to come inside. She was expressing her frustration the only way she knew how...by crying and pitching a fit.
In moments like these try to put yourself in your toddlers place. Physically get down on their level. Sit with them, hold them, talk to them calmly. Help your toddler learn how to express themselves by letting them know it's okay to tell you when they are mad/sad/frustrated/happy/etc. Encourage your toddler to stop crying and talk to you as much as they are able at this young age.
If you need a time out then take a time out. It's better to remove yourself from the situation or ask a trusted friend or family member to hang out with your child for a few minutes while you calm down than it is to take your frustrations out on your child. Never discipline your child when you are angry or take your frustrations out on your child. Remember your child isn't doing anything wrong...they are acting like a toddler, learning self expression. You have a choice to maintain control and be patient with your child. You have the ability to maintain control and demonstrate patience.
Parenting is hard. It's a lot of work. It takes a lot of patience. Your child needs and deserves an amazing parent. That doesn't mean being a perfect parent, but rather it means that you actively work on your parenting skills. We all need help and advice from time to time.
Serenity Counseling Online is here to help. Whether you are looking to strengthen your parenting skills, need someone to talk to about parenting, or have questions on how to work with your particular child don't hesitate to contact us.
The thing is toddlers don't have the language skills or the emotional understanding to express what they are feeling verbally. Yes, I believe my toddler was mad, but she doesn't have the words to tell me she was mad that she had to come inside. She also doesn't have the language skills to necessarily understand why we had to come inside. She was expressing her frustration the only way she knew how...by crying and pitching a fit.
In moments like these try to put yourself in your toddlers place. Physically get down on their level. Sit with them, hold them, talk to them calmly. Help your toddler learn how to express themselves by letting them know it's okay to tell you when they are mad/sad/frustrated/happy/etc. Encourage your toddler to stop crying and talk to you as much as they are able at this young age.
If you need a time out then take a time out. It's better to remove yourself from the situation or ask a trusted friend or family member to hang out with your child for a few minutes while you calm down than it is to take your frustrations out on your child. Never discipline your child when you are angry or take your frustrations out on your child. Remember your child isn't doing anything wrong...they are acting like a toddler, learning self expression. You have a choice to maintain control and be patient with your child. You have the ability to maintain control and demonstrate patience.
Parenting is hard. It's a lot of work. It takes a lot of patience. Your child needs and deserves an amazing parent. That doesn't mean being a perfect parent, but rather it means that you actively work on your parenting skills. We all need help and advice from time to time.
Serenity Counseling Online is here to help. Whether you are looking to strengthen your parenting skills, need someone to talk to about parenting, or have questions on how to work with your particular child don't hesitate to contact us.
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