Why Emma may be an only child

While my beautiful baby Emma sleeps beside me in her bassinet in the hospital I thought I'd take a moment to write her birth story and all the fun we had trying to bring her into this world.

Thursday we had our 41 week check up and a BPP.  The BPP showed that Emma was measuring 9.2lbs with an AFI (amniotic fluid level) of 5 which is low.  My ob was out of town, but Dr. R from her practice was concerned with her fluid level being low and her being big.  He decided to induce me and called ahead to the hospital.  I called the hospital every 2 hours until I was told to come in at 11pm.

We ate dinner at Friendly's, waited for our wonderful friends to come watch the dogs, and headed off to the hospital to have our baby girl.  Dr. R was the doctor in working the pit that night and was already at the hospital when we got there.  I was optimistic.  When we rang the buzzer to L&D and the nurse asked if she could help us I replied, "I'm here to have my baby!"  Haha.  Or so I thought.  Dr. R gave me cervadil at 12:30am, I got an ambien, and slept till 4am. 

4am I started to have contractions.  12pm Dr. R came in to check me.  I had made zero progress.  No dilation, cervix still thick and high.  So, on to citotek (?spelling)--an oral med taken every 4 hours to induce labor.  Dr. F, another ob from my practice, was in the hospital so he checked me later on.  No dilation.  They let Paul and I off the unit to go walk around the floor and I am convinced I will be showing up at my ob's office Monday morning to say, "WTF!  Dr. R told me I wouldn't be leaving the hospital without a baby!" as we imagine the look of surprise on their faces.   

So now it's Friday night.  Dr. D, the pit doctor, came in and said that he had talked to Dr. W, the on call dr for my ob for the weekend, and that if I continued to make no progress and my AFI was normal in the morning (Saturday) that they were going to send me home.  WHAT!  Keep in mind I've been having contractions every 5-8 minutes for over 12 hours at this point.  Another ambien and I actually slept pretty good.  Our nurse woke me up early Saturday morning to go get my AFI and I just know it's normal and I'm going to be sent home. 

The tech measures the baby and she gets 9.1lbs.  Dr. W comes in and tells us the AFI came back lower (3.8) and so he is going to insert a balloon catheter into my hooha as well as start pitocin (which they previously didn't want to do b/c I wasn't dilated).  All the mother's reading this know how sensitive your cervix is when you are pregnant...now imagine someone pulling your cervix outside of your vajajay, using forceps to hold it as he inserts a balloon into you and inflates it with saline.  Holy mother! 

A few hours go by and my contractions are getting closer together and stronger.  I get up to go to the bathroom and the balloon falls out.  Hallelujah we've hit 4cm!  Everyone is sure we are on the road now to a vaginal delivery.  It's now 11amish.  An hour later and I'm at 5cm.  Good sign!  I get an epidural and it's wonderful.  I sleep, I don't feel any contractions at all.  I think this is the best thing ever!

On Saturday let's just say that Paul got to see more things than he wanted too.  I've never seen anyone gag so much.  lol  6:30pm and my epidural has worn off.  I'm still 5cm dilated.  The anesthesiologist is with a case so I have to wait till 7pm for the next anesthesiologist to get there.  She comes straight to my room and tops me off.  Ahhh relief. 

Our favorite nurse comes back on (although all the nurses in L&D were amazing, but we had just worked with Wendy before several times!).  By 8pm I am still feeling all the contractions on my left side and can totally feel my left leg.  So Wendy calls the anesthesiologist back and my only option is to have the original epidural removed and have a new one placed.  We do this and I get pain relief...for another hour and a half.  By 10:30pm I'm in a lot of pain, can feel every contraction, and still am only 5cm dilated.  Plus my cervix has actually thickened back up.  And I have blood in my urine bag.  And the baby is not in position.

Keep in mind I have now been in the hospital for 48 hours and have been in active labor for over 12 hours.  Wendy comes in to tell us that Dr. W has called in the surgical team.  Dr. W comes in and tells us that I am going to have a c-section.  Wendy preps me and Paul and wheels us down to the OR. 

The anesthesiologist gives me more medication; however, I am so nauseous from laying down that I throw up through the entire operation.  At one point I knock over the little bowl into my hair.  I have no idea why anyone would elective to have a c-section.  It was literally the most painful experience I've ever had.  I was told to expect a little tugging and pulling (and even on tv birth shows all these women seem to only experience minor discomfort).  I felt every single thing the 2 ob's were doing.  When they were pulling Emma out I thought they were trying to kill me.  Oh, and we found out that she was sunny side up which is why she couldn't get into birth position.  It was the longest 30 minutes of my life.

It made me sad that I was in so much pain that when they walked by with me with Emma I could barely find any joy in seeing her.  I never wanted to be one of those melodramatic mamas who cries and screams and whines through out her labor and up to the c-section I hadn't been.  But during the c-section I lost it.  I cried, I threw up, I just wanted it to be over.  And when I heard Emma cry for the first time and Paul came over crying I did cry...partially at hearing Emma and partially at my own pain.  I am not even sure there are adequate words to describe how painful my c-section was. 

The special care pediatrician was there because Emma had pooped in utero and they had to suction out her lungs, but Paul said she handled it like a champ.  She didn't even cry when she got her first shot! 

So all my friends who have c-sections look beautiful and smiling in their first pics with the baby while I look like a drowned rat.  lol

But our beautiful baby girl is here.  She is amazing.  It still doesn't seem possible that she was in my tummy not even 24 hours ago and now she's hanging out with us.  Very surreal and I can't believe the hospital is going to let us leave with this little munchkin.  We love her so much already!

As an added bonus I now get to spend an extra 4 days in the hospital (making my total stay 6 days--how much has Tricare paid for this pregnancy????  lol).  The food is delicious, I get served all my meals in bed, and I get to wear jammies all the time.  What could be better than that? 

Emma Grace born 02/26 @ 11:58pm, 8lbs 11oz, 20.5 inches

And our friend Wendy came to visit us today! 

More updates to follow! 

CuteyBaby

A while back I signed up to review a new cloth diaper called "That's a Wrap" by CuteyBaby.  Of course when I signed up back in January I thought for sure our baby girl would be here by now happily sporting her CuteyBaby diaper and that I'd have lots of cute pics to show you!

Here I sit 41 weeks pregnant and I realized I need to write a review for this diaper.  CuteyBaby so kindly sent me a "That's a Wrap" cloth diaper with soaker, biodegradable flushable liners, and the CuteyBaby brochure.  I realized, too, after I got this package in the mail that I also have the CuteyBaby "Zip It, Baby" dry bag for the nursery.

Paul and I decided to use cloth diapers because it made more sense for us.  I am blessed enough to be able to be a stay at home mom (or will be whenever this fat little turkey makes her appearance) so we don't have to worry about sending diapers to daycare and we can just throw the dirty diapers into the washing machine (look at us being all environmentally friendly). 

The CuteyBaby diapers are wicked cute!  They sent me a beautiful purple diaper (I love purple) and they have a ton of new designs to choose from. 

front of CuteyBaby diaper

Back of CuteyBaby diaper--I love their logo!

The first thing I noticed was how incredibly soft the inside of the diaper feels and how absorbant the soaker feels.  Their website says, "All areas that touch your baby’s skin are fleecy-soft, wicking material that keeps its dry feel. Finally, the core absorbent layers are thirsty microfiber (4-layers of it), sewn in a unique way for fast drying." And I can totally believe it!

inside of diaper with soaker

outside of diaper with soaker

The velcro closures make it as easy to put on your baby as a disposable diaper plus they are really soft.  You can use the biodegradable liners to put on top of your soaker so that when it's time to change the baby you flush that and throw your diaper into the wash. 

If you've ever been curious about cloth diapers then this is a great brand for you to try!  Plus they are now available across the country in stores like Albertsons, Cub, and Jewel as well as on Amazon.com. 

And if my chubby monkey (predicted to be over 9lbs when she's finally born) ever arrives I promise to post some pics of her in her CuteyBaby!

So What Does a Stay at Home Mom With No Kids Do You Ask?

Some of you may be wondering what a stay at home mom with no kids does all day (okay, probably none of you are wondering that, but I needed something to blog about today) so I am here to inform you. 

I generally get out of bed between 8am and 9:30am.  I used to be much more committed to sleeping in (occasionally even till 10am or 11am); however, as my girth has expanded it's become increasingly uncomfortable for me to sleep.  Plus I'm always starving when I wake up.  I get up, on average, 3 to 4 times a night to pee and usually around my 3am trip to the bathroom I think "how is it not morning yet" because my hips hurt so bad from laying on my sides.  Like excruciatingly painful, may need a hip replacement when this is all done, pain.  It takes me 20 minutes to roll from one side to the other and I usually get stuck on my back.  The hip pain does not allow me to use my legs in any kind of helpful fashion to propel myself from left to right side or vice versa so I sort of flop around like a dying fish.  Luckily, we have one of those fancy coil-less mattresses and Paul doesn't even bat his sweet little sleeping eyes with all my tossing and turning.  Coupled with the fact that I have to sleep propped up on 2 large pillows so I don't choke to death on my own stomach acid during the night...well, sleep is not the joyous occasion it used to be.  It then takes me 5 minutes of hip thrusting and rolling once I get out of bed to pop my left hip back into place (I'm not sure when I turned into a 90 year old woman).  I won't even scare you with the night sweats...let's just say Paul said he has to shower every morning because he sleeps next to the Loch Ness Monster.  :( 

Now that I'm not confined to the house I do shower, get dressed, brush my hair, and put on make up every day.  Impressive I know.  I'm sure the rest of the world thanks me for that as well. 

Downstairs for breakfast and the Today Show.  I typically spend every morning from 11am to 12pm watching Kathie Lee & Hoda.  I like them so much because I secretly think they hate each other hence the need for every day to have some kind of alcohol theme.  I'm waiting to see Hoda punch Kathie Lee in the face. 

Occasionally I do make forays into the outside world.  Today I went to Panera Bread for a pastry and decaf coffee, followed by the library (I only got 2 books last week thinking I'd have a baby by now--haha jokes on me!), and then Wendy's for lunch. 

As our fabulous cleaning lady hasn't been here in a couple weeks (again because I thought I'd have given birth by now and didn't want to have to cancel on her) I spent most of the afternoon cleaning.  I vacuumed (okay, the roomba vacuumed, but I did mop the floor and vacuum the basement), cleaned the kitchen and bathroom countertops, put away the laundry I did yesterday, did the dishes, and got the paper recycling ready to go to the paper recycling donation thing...whew!  After all that I was sore and tired. 

I spent the rest of the day sitting on the couch, eating Cadbury eggs, reading my blogs, Facebook, and read my book until it was time to make dinner.  Oh, and I let the dogs out every 2 hours.  Whoohoo.

Tomorrow my very exciting life includes going to the ob and that's pretty much it.  That is what a stay at home mom with no kids does all day.  Jealous yet?

Well ain't that a kick in the pants

I had an ob appointment today.  I was so confident!  I even put my suitcase in the car because I was certain that I would be sent straight from the doctor's office to the hospital.  hahahahahahahaha NOT

I started off with a NST.  Of course our little bugger has moved non-stop for the past couple days, but doesn't want to move at all during the NST even when they use this vibrating buzzer thing on my belly.  No reaction.  Stubborn little wench.  20 minutes later and they are satisfied that she is doing okay.  Glad I brought a book with me.

Then I get to see another ob in the practice.  He measures my belly and remarks on how big my baby is.  Yes, I know she is a giant butterball turkey.  Thank you.  I tried to convince him my water broke last night, but then had to admit that I really just peed on myself.  Sigh....

He does a physical exam and guess what...he doesn't think I'm dilated AT ALL!  What?????  What happened to my "maybe" 2cm?  I knew Dr. C was lying! 

I have another appointment on Thursday to see how my amniotic fluid is holding up and to measure the baby.  He also wants to put a plan in place for next week.  Plus I have to go to the hospital over the weekend for another NST.  (Paul and I enjoy playing the game "Guess how much Tricare has shelled out for this pregnancy."  Current guestimate $30k+)

At least there is a good bakery by the hospital.  I'll tell you what though I am not doing anything else to try to start labor on my own because apparently nothing is going to work so I'm just not gonna worry about it.  Emma will come out when the ob pulls her out.  Maybe she'll be born on 03/03...Paul should be able to remember that date!  lol 

College years

Last Friday at Kellys Korner she had a show us your life regarding which college her readers went to.  Although I saw a couple UF graduates on there I did not see one Rollins College or USF reader other than myself. 

It is amazing how different undergrad and grad school were.  I can still remember the day my parents dropped me off at Rollins College in Winter Park, FL.  We had spent the night before at the Disney Yacht & Beach Resort and I was so excited to finally be a grown up!  I was so anxious for my parents to unpack my entire van load of crap stuff and be on their way.  But when they left I cried.  Suddenly I was overwhelmed.  Luckily, a guy I had gone to school with since middle school and I ended up living in the same small house on campus (the only 2 freshmen chosen for a special interest house called Pinehurst) and we quickly bonded as freshmen from the same hometown will often do.  The same was true for my friend Christy.  We were in marching band together in high school, were not friends in high school, and yet she became one of my lil sisters in Kappa Delta and I'm the Godmother of her daughter. 

College was a 4 years of some studying, lots of drinking, and making good friends (in other words a blur).  Outside of Kappa Delta I didn't really socialize with many Rollins students.  One of my best friends went to nearby UCF and they had better fraternity parties over there so I spent a lot of time at UCF.  Plus I worked at the Winter Park YMCA and my coworkers quickly became my closest friends and preferred weekend companions. 

I am immensely proud of the fact that I went to Rollins though.  It is a beautiful campus and a great school.  Although I am way too poor to contribute to them financially as an alumni (I think the money my parents spent to send me there was enough) I have the best memories of my time there. 

Grad school at the University of South Florida was a different story.  No partying, occasional drinking with my girl Breun, lots of good contacts, and different types of memories.  We were in a cohort so we had the same people in each class (Tues & Thur plus 1 Saturday a month) for 3 years aka 9 semesters.  Even though we were all different ages and came from all different backgrounds you become surprisingly close with people who you spend so much time with.  Without grad school, and Breun, I wouldn't have met my husband aka the love of my life aka my baby daddy (well, he will be if she's ever born!).  Plus my grades rocked in grad school (minus 1 class with Professor Bastard, not his real name, who gave me my only B).

Paul, Breun, and I on our wedding day

I am also a proud USF alum made even more proud by the fact that my younger sister also has a degree from USF (and UCF--my parents have said no more graduation ceremonies haha....luckily the professional certificate I want from FSU will not have a graduation ceremony).  Yup, my sister and I love us some education.

Me & my sis at the 3 Day

And Kappa Delta...still a huge part of my life!  Having moved so much, and still moving, I can always count on KD for meeting other alumnae.  I've gotten jobs through my involvement in KD.  I met my good friend Mimi through the Sarasota alumnae chapter and she later married me and my husband.  I met my good friend Emily through a Valdosta KD event and we are already planning for a future wedding between her son and my daughter.  And I mentioned being the Godmother for my good friend Christy's daughter.  Where we are currently living not only am I on the executive board for the alumnae chapter, but also on the chapter advisory board for a new collegiate chapter.  Not to mention all the great KD women I went to Rollins with (our Zeta Xi reunions are always so much fun).  Yes, I love me some KD!  

KD sisters--Emily, me, Mimi, Christy

I am NOT an elephant despite what Emma thinks

Although my toenails are painted elephantastic pink I would like Emma to know that I am NOT an elephant...we are NOT going to be pregnant for 22 months as much as she would like to stay in there for that long. 

Today is my due date.  40 weeks.  10 months.  280 days.  6720 hours.  As I was getting my blood pressure checked at my appointment today the nurse said, "I just can't believe you're still pregnant."  Me neither sista, me neither! 

As it's my due date (did I mention I've been pregnant for 10 months?) I had to get a non stress test.  Emma has moved non-stop for the last 2 days until I was hooked up to the monitor and then she decided to take a little nap.  My hopes were raised that perhaps my ob would decide to induce today, but no go.  Emma has a strong heart beat and she was happy with the NST results. 

I also got a physical exam.  Super comfortable and fun (that's sarcasm in case you missed it) as my cervix has not moved at all.  My ob could barely reach it and she said I was "maybe 2cm."  Well ain't that a kick in the pants as last week I was 1 1/2cm. 

Then my ob tells me "I'll be on vacation next week."  WHAT!  So I thought I would get my induction scheduled for next week and now it's not going to happen.  But I do get to come in twice next week for NST and exams as I am past my due date as of tomorrow.  I think my ob felt awful about going on vacation especially when I asked who was on call and said Dr. Thacker was NOT delivering my baby.  lol  God love my ob b/c she said she'd see if they'd call her because she wants to deliver my baby after all I've been through. 

I think I'm my ob's favorite patient.  For most of my pregnancy I thought of her as being much older than me especially since I feel like a 20 year old around me for some reason (maybe because she's a doctor); however, I realized today that we must be close to the same age.  I don't think her children are that old. 

She asked if I'm walking (um hell no I am a giant 40 week pregnant whale...I get short of breath walking to the bathroom from my living room) so I did walk around the mall with my friend Jessica after our lunch at Cheesecake Factory.  We took a little break from the walking so I could get a make up lesson at Bare Escentuals (I love crap like that).  I love the looks of confusion, horror, and curiosity I get when people see how ginormous I am.  It's sort of like being a circus freak I think. 

Made a quick stop at the library and Dunkin Donuts and then finally was home.  Wouldn't you know that our ghetto ass temporary mailbox fell over into the road as I was walking into the house.  Thank God it was super warm today (50 whole degrees!) and our ice skating rink of a driveway melted so I could waddle out there to pick the stupid thing up.  I can only imagine what the people driving by were thinking. 

So as anxious as I am to have Miss Emma arrive I sort of don't want her to until I can be assured that my ob will deliver her (or I'd settle for one of the other ob's from my practice).

Waiting for life to change

It is hard to believe that after all the stresses Paul and I have faced in our first 2 years together that our lives in 2011 will be even more chaotic, insane, and full of change.  Life is always changing...that is inevitable, but I thought for sure the only change we'd face in 2011 would be the addition of our little Emma Grace.  I guess it's true that God laughs when you're busy making plans.  From our house falling apart to my recent heart issue to Paul's upcoming deployment...whoa...but what should seem overwhelming doesn't anymore. 

I've been so worried about something terrible happening during labor or something being wrong with Emma or Paul's deployment.  People have asked me how did I even cope with what was going on Sunday night and wasn't I worried and the answer is no.  Everything happened so quickly and I was so uncomfortable that there really wasn't time for me to be worried about anything other than Emma's health and even that, I will admit, was not at the front of my mind.  All I really worried about was breathing and making it through.   I could see the fear on Paul's face and I have no idea what my face looked like while everything was going, but it felt very surreal.  And before the moment (and by the moment I mean the 5 minutes it took to get me hooked up to all the equipment, the doctors and nurses rushing around the room, the crash cart, the medicine) and after the moment Paul and I still laughed.  We held hands and we talked about our giant turkey baby Emma and everything we've been through and we laughed. 

And since then all the changes, all the tears, all my fears and anxieties, and what not don't seem so important.  Our lives are about to change in a HUGE way.  At some point Emma will be forced out of her little home and into our big home.  She will be here and we will love her more than we already do.  Our marriage will change, hopefully for the better.  We will spend the next couple months writing our wills and getting power of attorney's drawn up and preparing for Paul's deployment.  He will travel twice for work and we will travel once for pleasure.  Emma will get bigger.  And then it'll be time to head for the airport and to say "See ya in 6 months" and "I love you" (okay, I'm a little teary eyed writing this part) and Emma and I will wave goodbye as Paul heads overseas and we'll be so proud of him!  And Emma and I will work in the garden and take lots of pictures to send her daddy and travel some more and then head down to Florida for a few months so she can meet all mommy's friends and spend time with her grandparents. 

And Paul will be serving our country.

July 4th will pass.

My birthday will pass.

Our anniversary will pass.

Thanksgiving will pass.

Paul's birthday will pass.

Christmas will pass.

Emma will be 11 months old.

And Paul will come home.

Life will change again.  And life will be good....the entire time...life is good...laughter, tears, goodbyes and hellos...time passes...seasons change...life changes, but it's good.

If THIS didn't induce labor nothing will

Although I was cranky as all get out on Sunday we actually had a pretty good day...breakfast at Cracker Barrel, a movie, and hanging out at home the rest of the day.  Oh, and the pedicure.  I had read that there are pressure points in your feet and ankle that can induce labor so I headed off to get my toe nails did.  She didn't really give me the massage I was expecting (although I do love my elephantastic pink polish) so when I got home I found a youtube video showing all the pressure points, made Paul watch it, and reclined on the couch while he massaged my feet. 

Fast forward to 8:45pm.  We're sitting in the living room.  Paul's watching tv and I'm reading my book when all of the sudden my heart starts racing.  I don't say anything for a few minutes because I'm sure it's going to pass.  Finally I ask Paul to time me while I take my pulse.  My pulse is beating so fast, but in 10 seconds I count 23 beats so roughly 120bpm.  Paul suggests I call the ob, but I want to wait a few minutes.  I take my heart rate again and same thing.  I call L&D and they suggest calling my ob.  I ask Paul to take my pulse and he says my  heart is beating too fast he can't even count the beats.

I call the on call ob.  She is not a doctor in my practice (I guess my practice shares their weekend on call with another practice), but I saw her the last time I had my NST.  She suggests that I am having bad heartburn and that it will resolve itself, but to be on the safe side I can go to L&D to be checked.  So off we head to the hospital.  At this point its about 9:10pm.  My chest is tight and I can't breathe.

We get to L&D about 9:30pm.  I notice a certain ob's name on the board as being there.  My heart is still racing, but the baby is moving like crazy.  They hook me up to the fetal monitor and also hook my heart up to a monitor.  My heart is beating so fast that the alarm keeps going off.  The nurse, also the nurse we saw last time, says words I never want to hear "I'm going to get Dr. Nagler."  Dr. Nagler was the ob I had at the beginning of my pregnancy who terrified me and who I hated.  I'm sure just hearing her name made my heart race faster.  Paul hears Dr. Nagler say, "Thacker's on call for Burlington.  Send her to the ER."  The relief was palpable. 

I ask nurse Wendy if I can use the restroom before we go down and she says no!  She says we need to get me down to the ER immediately.  At this point it's almost 10pm.  She wheels me downstairs and into triage.  They take my vitals again and it seems like it takes forever for them to sign me in.  My heart rate at this point...over 170bpm and I'm starting to feel light headed. 

The ER nurse comes in to take me for an EKG and I ask if I can use the restroom.  She says AFTER the EKG.  Well the EKG was so bad that she tells me I have to use the bathroom as quickly as possible and makes Paul go in with me.  As soon as I get out and climb back on the gurney she rushes me into a large examining room.  She immediately goes back to the door and calls for help.  All these nurses rush into the room as well as 2 doctors and before I know it they are hooking me up to another EKG, putting an IV in, and giving me oxygen.  The one ER doctor tells me I am in SVT and they need to slow my heart rate immediately.  It has been between 180 and 200bmp for over 2 hours at this point. 

My choices for slowing my heart rate...the use of adenosine (a medication administered through the IV that is class C for pregnancy) or by sedation and the use of electrical current.  I chose the adenosine.  He warns me that it may be uncomfortable as its going to slow my heart almost to stopping so that it can resume a normal rhythm as another nurse is putting defibrillator pads on me and the other doctor is asking a nurse to go get a crash cart just in case. 

So all these doctors and nurses are standing around staring at me as the nurse administers the med and I know they are there in case my heart stops completely.  Feeling your heart almost stop is an awful feeling.  I could literally feel my heart slowing down in my chest and I started to cry because it was scary and uncomfortable.  They had Paul get up and rub my foot and another nurse was rubbing my arm and holding my hand and the doctor kept saying, "It's almost over, it's almost over."  And finally it was.  I could breath again.  My heart rate was normal (and by normal I mean between 100bpm and 112bpm). 

We stayed in the ER another couple hours while my blood work was checked and it all came back normal.  Basically they have no answer as to why this happened or if it could happen again.  The doctor did say some people have just 1 episode and some people have regular occurrences that require ongoing use of medication. 

So, if through all that I didn't go in to labor than I have to believe nothing short of my ob using medication to induce will cause Emma to come out at this point.  After all her excitement last night she has been a quiet girl today and I hope there aren't any lasting effects from that medication.  Thankfully I'm so far along in my pregnancy that there shouldn't be and my ob said I made the right choice (she also couldn't believe that the on call ob told me it was heart burn or that I keep having so much stuff going on in my life). 

I went to see a cardiologist tonight and the tech said everything looked normal, but that the doctor would review the results and call me.   

At this point I'm just praying God keeps Emma and I safe and healthy through the rest of this pregnancy and delivery.  I see the ob on Thursday to schedule my induction.  I'll let y'all know!

My QVC dream job

Kelly at Kellys Korner has a series on her blog called "Show Us Your Life" and every Friday has a different theme.  She is a fantastic blogger and I enjoy stalking reading her blog.  Today's theme was beauty and while I am not the least Barbielicious girl out there, as many of you may know from reading about my pregnancy bedrest, I have made more of an effort recently with the hair brushing and the make up applying.  It helps that I got a great hair cut (despite my salon being featured on Tabitha's Salon Takeover) that is now super easy to dry AND even better doesn't always need a flat iron.  Sweet! 

Skincare

When I lived in GA I tried my hand at selling BeautiControl products.  Unfortunately I am a terrible sales person; however, I absolutely fell in love with their products and continue to use them and give them as gifts to everyone.  Their skincare line...to die for!  I use their 30's Skin care line.  It helps hydrate my dry skin and clear up my oily skin and everything in between.  They also have great skincare for acne and sensitive skin.


They also have great scrubs and masks.  I love to sit in the tub and use the following products:
Warming trend green tea masque--this masque warms on your skin and feels heavenly!
I also love Luxuries of the Sea Fango Seaweed Scrub/Masque.  It smells so good.  I put it on at the start of my bath and wash it off after 20 minutes or so. 
If you want soft hands and feet then their Instant Manicure is the perfect product!  Several yummy smelling scents and leaves your body feeling like a baby's bottom.

Makeup
Back when I had a job and only had to worry about myself and my own bills I would spend the money to go to MAC.  I love their eye shadows, but alas $50 eyeshadow kits are no longer in the budget.

I do use mostly BeautiControl eye shadow.  I actually think it's comparable to MAC, but is a lot cheaper! 
BeautiControl also makes a great mascara.  No clumping and looks great! 

I have gone back to using Bare Minerals foundation.  My sister and I went to a salon for a Bare Minerals make up lesson when it first became really popular.  Then I got seduced by MAC and switched to the dark side.  Then I fell in love with BeautiControl.  When I ran out of BeautiControl foundation I realized I still had all this Bare Minerals make up and so I went back to their foundation.  I will say that while I think it looks great sometimes I don't feel it gives as much coverage as traditional foundation.  Luckily though my skin is in such great shape from my BeautiControl skincare I don't need much coverage (although if anyone has application tips for the Bare Minerals I would LOVE to hear them!). 

Hair
I am not much for hair care.  I hate washing my hair and it's so thick that I usually only wash my hair every few days.  Being pregnant has made my hair oily and I'm having to wash it every other day now.  Ugh!  I'm using a clarifying shampoo right now based on the recommendation of my stylist.  I finally am back to my natural hair color (it's been a loooonnnnggg time...loving those gray hairs I'm seeing) and I sort of just use whatever hair styling aids that catch my eye.  Right now with my natural oil I am not using any styling aids.  Wonder how my hair will be after this baby gets here. 

Having someone brush or style my hair is really my idea of awesome.  I pay my nieces to do it when I see them.  Granted they are in elementary school so the hair styles end up being a little questionable, but whatever.  My bestie's 2 year old is also in to brushing hair now and don't think I won't be hitting her up for that service the next time I see her.

Perfume
I am pretty much a perfume whore (and not a cheap, street corner hooker, but a high price escort).  I love good perfume and have probably 20 to 25 different kinds.  I can't even pick a favorite and always get a perfume or 4 for Christmas from my dad.  Since I have so many they tend to last a long time because really who needs that much perfume...well, I do. 

Oh, and to reference the title of this post...I LOVE watching the QVC and HSN beauty shows.  I truly think my dream job would be as hostess of one of those shows.  Trying all those products and I am sure they get TONS of free samples.  I would be in beauty heaven.  I love buying make up and bath products and getting them for free would make my day (so if anyone out there wants to send me some free samples I would be eternally happy and also would be glad to send you some BeautiControl samples in return). 

Ahhhh beauty bliss!

1/2 way to induction

I had an ob appointment today.  I've had so many cramps this past week and felt so uncomfortable that I was sure I would be at least 4 centimeters dilated and she'd tell me I was having this baby this weekend.  Are you laughing yet? 

She asks how I'm feeling (tired) and then tells me even though I didn't gain any weight this week my belly is measuring bigger.  All I can think about is Dr. Lim telling me that most babies slow down their growth after 36 weeks and that if Emma continued growing to my due date he predicted she'd be 10lbs.  (Of course this means that all the cute cloth diapers I bought may actually fit her right from the start because she'll be so fat)

Then comes my favorite part....the physical exam.  Apparently as you get closer to labor your cervix moves down.  Based on the fact that Dr. C had her arm inside me up to her elbow I am assuming that my cervix is still quite high (even though she said the baby's head is low). 

Drum roll please...the moment of truth...how much am I dilated?  Remember last week I was 1cm.  High expectations.  She tells me I am dilated...1 and 1/2 centimeters.  In a week I've only progressed 1/2 a centimeter.  WTF!  And I'm pretty sure I didn't really progress at all, but that she felt bad for me and threw in the half to give me some hope. 

So we made an appointment for the 17th which is my due date and I'll get a non stress test then.  She said she wouldn't let me go longer than a week after my due date before inducing.  Well, that's something to look forward to.  And she told me who is on call this weekend (Dr. R is on tonight, but this weekend is Dr. T and I'm pretty sure she is the dr who we saw when we went to L&D for a NST one weekend who didn't speak at all...I don't want her delivering my baby so Emma is staying in until at least Monday.  I may go Sunday afternoon to get a pedicure though.  Hopefully the nail tech will hit that reflexology spot that will trigger my labor). 

I stopped by the post office today to pick up our mail and let them know we got our temporary mailbox (picture a bucket of concrete in which lies a wooden post topped by the most generic mailbox ever).  Is it weird that the people in the post office asked me to bring in the baby after she's born so they can see her?  Is it weird that the one man predicts she will be born on Feb. 15th?  lol  They are super nice though. 

So, what date do you think I should pick for little Emma's birthday (after Feb. 17th)?  At this rate she's gonna be born in March!

Why I am Never Going to be Able to go Anywhere with Our Child by Myself

I have been the laziest of lazies today.  If our house cleaner wasn't coming over today there is a good chance I may have stayed in bed all day.  I did shower and get dressed and then rushed around trying to pick up some clutter so she could actually clean.  Luckily we have been much better about our clutter and throwing things out and donating things to Salvation Army so it was minimal. 

By 10:15am I was done with that, Mary was here doing her thang, and I was snuggled in the recliner, watching The Today Show, and eating Raisin Bran Crunch (I have never loved cereal as much as I have since I've been prego.  Seriously I eat cereal every day now). 

And that was pretty much the rest of my day.  I did have a brief spurt of energy where I thought I would wash the rug in front of the kitchen sink and the one in front of the door and by wash I mean throw it into the washing machine (FYI...the backing on the one rug NOT in good shape.  After Mary cleaned the bathroom I then got little pieces of plastic backing all over the floor and inside the washing machine and had to ask Mary if I could use her vacuum to clean it up--dang Paul and his 200lb, need a degree in physics to use, Kirby) and then Mary insisted she would clean it up and had to vacuum out the INSIDE of the washing machine--God love her for putting up with me.  Oh, and that rug went straight into the garbage and NOT into the dryer). 

When Mary left around 2pm I rustled up the energy to put a frozen pizza in the oven and have some of that (not impressed) and then continued my couch cruise. 

Finally at 4:15pm I couldn't stand it anymore.  I was so bored, so out of sorts, and so unmotivated that I forced myself to get up and go clean the garbage out of my car.  (Last year my friend Cory came to visit and was appalled by the condition of the inside of my car that she made me clean it out while she was here.  Since then I've tried to have more respect for my vehicle with period de-cluttering.  As I haven't been driving much since I was put on bedrest and lost my job it was quite awful.)  An entire garbage bag later and I was done.

So, I decided to practice using the car seat.  Keep in mind I was on bedrest for months (5, but whose counting) and what do you have lots of when you're on bedrest?  Time.  I had plenty of time to research consumer reports, ratings, product reviews, and any other car seat information I could find.  And research I did.  I ended up buying the Britax Chaperone in cow print with the matching stroller (I know, I know...everyone told me to get the snap & go stroller, but being a first time mom I wanted the whole shebang). 

When the police officer installed the car seat she felt the best fit would be to put it in the middle seat.  Luckily I have an SUV or there is no way this thing would've fit (which I knew going into this Britax thing).  She showed me how to install everything and I have to say it looked pretty easy.  When is anything I ever try to do easy?

1)  Get the car seat OUT of the base.  Well, this seems easy enough.  I know there has to be some kind of release lever somewhere on the car seat.  Hmmmm....keep in mind it's 20 degrees out, I'm 9 1/2 months pregnant, and have a parka and gloves on.  Where the heck is this release lever????  No directions on the base anywhere.  There's directions on how to put the seat into the base, but none how to get it out.  Okay, but I have smartly left the manual in the car seat so when we ever have this baby (which is gonna be never) we can figure out how to get her in the car seat.  I find the page with the instructions for removing the car seat (4 whole sentences) and the lever is what I have been pushing in.  All I can think about is "OMG if I had an emergency my baby would die because I am never getting this car seat out."  20 minutes later... I have a snotsicle and have finally gotten the car seat out.  I had to climb into the car to do it and I'm breathing like I've just run a marathon, but I did it! 

2)  I realize that my baby is going to have some serious issues with me heaving the car seat around while I'm trying to get it out of the base so I decide to try and move the car seat to behind the passenger seat.  Maybe if the car seat was closer to the door I could more easily get it out.  Now all I have to do is remove the base.  The base has these things that snap over the seat belt and I cannot get these unsnapped to save my life.  I broke a nail INSIDE MY GLOVES trying to do this.  I had to take my scarf off to cushion my fingers, but 15 minutes later and the snaps are open.  7 minutes later and I have the seat belt out.  I pull the passenger seat forward and slide over the base.  I am smart enough to not latch it in without checking out the passenger seat situation.  The car seat fits behind the passenger seat, but the passenger would have to sit straight up with their knees touching the dashboard.  Clearly this isn't going to work.

3) Re-installing the base.  By now it's almost dark outside.  My snotsicle has reached epic proportions and I am freezing.  Snaps, seat belt, car seat.  Cannot get the stupid bubble in between the 2 lines that tells me the car seat is in right position.  Have to figure out how to remove car seat to adjust base.  Up, down, up, down...why won't this stupid bubble move???  Get a towel per instruction booklet.  Realize I do not have the energy to try to get those stupid snaps undone to put the towel under the end of the base.  Maybe our driveway isn't level?  I'll look at the car seat when I go somewhere tomorrow (ob, post office, whatever) and see if its level.  Try again to practice removing the car seat and that's when I realize it.

I am NEVER going to be able to go anywhere alone with my child because I am never going to figure out how to get the car seat out of the car.   

Back to my couch cruise thoroughly defeated.

Monogamy or Not

I was reading a Blogher blog by Susan regarding choosing monogamy or NOT choosing monogamy.  I really enjoyed reading everyone's comments although most of the comments aired on the side of polyamory.  Polyamory is, in my definition, the practice of open love.  Certainly it seems to be a much more openly discussed topic lately appearing on sex talk shows to Dr. Phil to magazines.  I started to formulate my reply and realized it was shaping up to be a blog or maybe a mini blog. 

Having spent my 20's running away from monogamy, including an ill fated starter marriage to a great guy, I didn't anticipate meeting someone I call the love of my life at 31 years old. He, too, spent most of his 20's in 2 ill fated marriages and a variety of non-relationships. I never planned on getting remarried and was happily contemplating being single, dating, and single parenthood for the rest of my life.


But, oh when I met my husband...lightening struck, Cupid's arrow hit me square in the heart, and it was love at first sight!  I knew 30 minutes into our date that I had met "the one" and even snuck off to the bathroom to send my friend Mary a text saying, "I met the man I'm going to marry."  Mary knew this was huge because of all the guys she had known me to date I had NEVER said this before.  And my case for monogamy was cemented. 

Poor Paul...he on the other hand didn't think our date was going well and didn't think I liked him.  And we both were openly casually dating or, in my case, trying to date, other people when we started talking.  In fact, he had driven from Valdosta to Jacksonville the night before to go on a date and I had my own lunch date the afternoon that Paul drove down to meet me. 

Luckily, my lunch date was AWFUL!  First off, the guy was way late.  I was actually getting ready to leave (and we had decided to go to First Watch which I love) when I looked up to see this hot, sweaty mess standing in front of me.  No, no, no, no.  Please God no.  And he has a backpack.  I wanted to pretend I wasn't me.  Stupid internet dating (I was the worst internet dater in the history of internet daters unlike my dad who got some 785 emails on eharmony or some crap).  "Jenn?"  Yes, that's me.  Inwardly groan and want the floor to open up and suck me out of the restaurant.  You know when you are going to have zero chemistry with someone?  Take that feeling and multiply it times 1000 because your date has RIDDEN HIS BIKE to your date because his truck wouldn't start.  And then to continue in theme of awkward and bad does not choose to go to the restroom when he gets to your date to wash his face or straighten himself up.  How I didn't throw up right then and there I have no idea.  I've never eaten so fast and was happy to be on my way.  I couldn't even bring myself to offer him a ride home and although he wanted to go out again clearly it was not meant to be. 

So, my expectations for my date with Paul were low and yet when I opened the door at his arrival my first thought was, "Oh thank God."  He was delicious!  Cute, cute, cute guy.  Beautiful eyes.  Handsome man.  And I was gone, done, off the market. 

We spent the best weekend together, cramming about 5 different dates into 2 days...dinner and drinks, brunch, the Ringling Museum, and dinner.  And it was perfect.  And I can only assume Paul's Jacksonville date was not as fantastic as our date because he never went out with her or anyone else again. 

Now we're happily married, expecting our first child together, dealing with A LOT of stressors in our first years together and coming out the other side stronger and more in love.  To be fair, we get on each other's nerves and we annoy each other and sometimes we snip at each other and sometimes I am sure we want to kill each other, but every day, EVERY SINGLE DAY, I look at my husband and think about how much I love him and how blessed I am to have him and how happy I am with him.  And if in your own relationship you don't have that and you aren't married yet then run the other way.  And if you are married and you've lost that then do whatever you need to do to find it again.  Because life is too short to spend your life with someone who doesn't complement who you are as a person, who doesn't fulfill you in some fundamental way, and who doesn't make your heart sing. 

How to (NOT) induce labor

I saw my ob on Friday and she said I was 1cm dilated. Now I know I could be 1cm dilated for weeks with nothing more happening, but at least something has started happening. She also said she was the on-call doctor this weekend so I should try to go into labor. Sure, let me get right on that. I asked her about drinking raspberry tea because I had heard about it from other people. She said she didn’t know how effective that was, but she suggested having sex, eating Chinese food, eating eggplant parmesan, and mopping the kitchen floor. So we tried…

Sex—I won’t go into all the details (I know you’re probably thankful for that), but you know how couples who are desperate to conceive will focus all their sexual encounters on doing it at the right time, right temp, right moment to achieve fertilization. Well, we are the exact opposite. We want this baby to be born! So, any thoughts of romance have flown right out the window although we do laugh hysterically because what else are you gonna do when you have a manatee, who can barely get in and out of bed on her own, flopping around on top of you. Sexy I am not. Luckily hubby has a good sense of humor.

Chinese food—We went out for Chinese buffet last night. I wasn’t given any direction as to what kind of Chinese food induces labor so I stuck with my standard sweet &sour chicken, fried rice, noodles, and 10,000 fat grams worth of crab Rangoon. Oh, and I had some hot tea.

Raspberry tea—I had 2 cups of this deliciousness last night. I don’t usually like anything other than the standard Earl Grey or English Breakfast or Lipton because I also enjoy adding milk and sugar to my tea (which apparently is an English thing because someone on a cruise once asked me if I was from England because of this—yes, don’t I sound British?), but I have to say the raspberry tea is pretty tasty.

Update: Still enjoying the raspberry tea.

Eggplant parmesan—Today we are headed off to lunch at the Olive Garden. We live in a city that has amazing Italian restaurants and we are going to Olive Garden. Haha Although I will say that a lot of the ladies on babycenter.com cited Olive Garden when having this eggplant parmesan debate. And if I still haven’t gone into labor this evening then we are headed to Buca De Beppo for dinner and chicken parmigian (because I did hear it was more about the oregano and basil than the eggplant). Hubby loves my love of chain restaurants.

Update: I enjoyed my eggplant at the OG, but have not yet gone into labor. We are staying home tonight because of the freezing rain that is coming down. Plus I took a nap this afternoon and lost all motivation to do anything. We ended up having steak, French fries, and sugar snap peas. Yum!

Walking—Last night after dinner we walked around Home Goods and the Paper Store. I’ll tell you what I can drag out some walking. Those aren’t even huge stores and we were in each other for 30 minutes. Today we are going to Costco…okay, that is a huge store and we might need some stuff (I don’t know what, but we might find something we like).

Update: We did in fact buy lots of things at Costco and walked around the entire store. Costco motivates me to walk because it’s like being at a buffet. 1200 calories later and we were ready to check out. We even got one of those there Flip camcorders so I can record little Em while her daddy is deployed and send him videos. Tonight’s dinner—Costco ribeyes. Even though I watched an Oprah on veganism the other day that made me cry when they showed how they slaughtered the cows apparently it didn’t upset me enough to not eat cows. Plus there was a lady there selling something from David’s Cookies. You should google this deliciousness cause you can order it online. Plus you could taste whatever cake/pie you wanted and boy did I ever want! We decided to go with the chocolate chip cookie pie. I have 2 slices defrosting now. Yummo!

Cracker Barrel—Someone I went to high school went into labor with both her children after big meals at the Cracker Barrel. Weirdly enough I had Cracker Barrel for lunch yesterday without even knowing that.

Mopping the floor—I don’t think I own a mop. I might be able to rustle up a swiffer. If all else falls I’ll vacuum the basement with the 200lb Kirby hubby insists we own. Basement is the only area in our house that is carpeted.

Update: It’s Monday morning. I’m exhausted because I ran out of Nexium and only took 20mg on Saturday and 20mg on Sunday instead of my usual 40mg per day and as a result had terrible acid reflux last night. It could have been all the crap delicious Super Bowl foods I ate last night, too. Ugh! I may bust out the vacuum today though although I wouldn’t hold your breath on that one.

Exercise ball—I found and inflated my exercise ball today. I think I bought this thing 2 years ago and have never taken it out of the box (whence the dust covering the box despite the box being moved across the country), but look how handy it’s coming in. After blowing up using a very suggestive appearing inflater thingy (and then re-inflating it after I had sat on it because I’m such a fatty) I’ve been a-rocking and a-rolling. So far not even a twinge, not a flutter, nary a contraction in sight.

So, it’s Monday morning. I’ve had 2 contractions, brief periods of cramping (nothing different than what’s been going on the last 2 weeks). Emma loved the Super Bowl and moved all day yesterday. Neither of her parents like change once we're settled so maybe she’s just decided she isn’t ready to come out. I’m heading towards being induced. I just know it! Oh, the irony!

Irony

It was 2 degrees when we got up this morning.  Granted, I also got up at 5:40am, but still.  It is now a whopping 13 degrees with more snow predicted for tomorrow (hopefully not more than an inch though).  Since I've posted so much on my FB about all our leaks due to all the snow we've gotten I thought I'd share so y'all can see why I have been so whiney.

Part of the kitchen ceiling.  I think we should just do the whole ceiling and call it a new faux finish.  What do you think?

I have officially run out of buckets and pots.

Our new living room ceiling (right above the couch).  It has doubled in size since this pic.

Above my little Em's changing table!  Had to move the table.

A new look I'm trying for our bedroom.

An actual icicle in between the 2 panes of glass in our bathroom window. 

Our backyard.

That is 12 inches of ice surrounding our window and leaking into our house.

The snow shack.

Our plow guy has built a 10 foot high wall of snow in our side yard.  Can't wait for that to melt!

So, we have all this snow on the ground, it's supposed to snow tomorrow, Paul is talking about getting some kind of flame thrower to try to melt some of the ice around our windows (that will work out well I'm sure), our ceiling is covered in brown stains, it sounds like we have a waterfall in our house, we woke up with ice ON THE INSIDE OF OUR BEDROOM WINDOW this morning,

AND

today we are getting central a/c installed.  Oh the irony.  We figured A) that it's cheaper to get it installed in the winter, B) hardly any houses up here have any kind of a/c despite the fact that it is as hot as Florida in the summer (resale value goes up whoot whoot), and C) our house is tore up anyways and about to get more tore up once this stupid ice melts. 

The a/c guys and I have talked about the Jersey Shore, coffee, and babies this morning.  I was a little embarrassed that I was watching my dvr'd Jersey Shore when they got here this morning (BTW I don't condone violence against anyone, but I don't know how Ronnie just doesn't punch Sammie in the face.  Good lord that girl needs to man up and stop being a doormat to him!).  Hopefully Emma will hold off on making her grand entrance until the a/c guys are done.

I'm hoping to get a nap in at some point, but it seems doubtful.  We are getting our cat back and he's en route as I type, I have to go to the post office, and I have my weekly ob appointment.  

Hey, the Today Show is talking about how Sarasota is one of the worst hit places in the country for real estate...down 55%.  Guess I won't be selling my house there anytime soon.  It's being discussed on their segment about best real estate deals in the country.  lol   

Will update once I see the ob.  I don't think she's going to have any news for me other than I'm still pregnant.  haha

Deployment

January 27, 2011—Paul came home and asked me how much I liked being a military wife and then said he had gotten orders to deploy. I feel like I held it together pretty good (all the previous times I’d imagine hearing these words involved me in hysterical tears although I’m not going to lie and pretend I haven’t cried a little since then). Since the day we’ve met I’ve been in denial that he ever would really deploy. He’s not in a career field that typically deploys although obviously it’s always a possibility. I understood when Paul explained being in the military without deploying is like being a firefighter without ever fighting a fire. But still I continued to believe he wouldn’t deploy even while feeling selfish because if Paul doesn’t deploy it means someone else’s loved one does.


I know that we are not the only family going through this. Our good friends in Japan are facing a deployment and another Captain in Paul’s office is deploying at the same time he is (and she has a 14 week old baby and an older child). Other families have faced much longer and riskier deployments. I get that.

Our friend Chelsea in Japan updated her blog the other day to reflect what she is going to work on while her hubby is deployed. I thought it was a great blog and a great idea. There are so many things I could accomplish while Paul is away. Of course I’ve said that during any period of unemployment in my life, but this time I really will need positive things to occupy my thoughts and times.

1. Get in shape and lose the baby weight! Paul and I want to do a tropical family vacation when he gets back and I want to look sexy in a bikini for once in my life. I tend to overeat when stressed or depressed and I do not want Paul to come home to a chub a lub. Although I know he’d love me either way I am tired of feeling overweight and unhealthy.

2. Garden, garden, garden. I learned a lot from the garden I had last summer and I’d like to make some changes in how I plant things and also enjoy my garden since last summer I was prego and had morning sickness. I also need to work on our landscaping.

3. Organize and par down our possessions. We have so much stuff and as much as I’ve given away to Salvation Army I am sure I can get even more organized.

4. Paint our bedroom. The color is nice, but it ended up being a lot pinker than I thought it would be.

5. Learn how to be a good mom. Take lots of pictures of Emma for Paul. Keep her safe and healthy. Make a scrapbook of her first year. Take videos.

6. Visit friends. Plan a good traveling schedule and some quality time with my closest friends. Grand Island, Huntsville, Cincinnati, Valdosta are some of the places I’d like to visit.

7. Take Emma to see my aunt and uncle in Amelia Island. I love that place!

8. Write to Paul every day. Skype as much as possible with Paul even if I have to get up in the middle of the night to do so.

9. Enjoy spending time with my family in Florida.

10. Go to church. Strengthen my relationship with God.

I know I’ve said this before, but I never really understood all that military families go through until I married someone in the military. As exciting as I think moving is and as much as I enjoy all our new adventures, it is a constant saying goodbye. For military wives it is always looking for a new job. For children, it’s new schools and new friends. And for those who deal with frequent deployments, it is constant worry and anxiety. At the same time, it is new friends, new experiences, and adding to your military family. The best part of the military is the sense of family that comes when you meet the friends you become close to at a base. It’s knowing that you have someone to rely on when your spouse is out of town. Its comfort for your spouse knowing someone is there to take care of you if you need. It is heartache, but it is also blessings.

Paul’s deployment still doesn’t feel real to me though. I don’t think it will actually feel real until he is boarding that plane, but at least I know we have a loving support system around us to get us through.

Internet security

Lately I've been going through my FB and deleting people who I don't have contact with anymore or won't have contact with in the future.  I had realized that my FB friend list had gotten way too long and had people on it who I really wasn't friends with.  I wasn't so much worried about people I went to high school with as I had known those people a long time, but was more concerned about people I had added in recent years who I wasn't truly friends with to begin with...people like coworkers, colleagues, and random people who I met a handful of times.  When you add someone to your FB account you give them an incredible amount of information about your life even if you think you don't.  Think of all the pictures that you post on your FB...pics of your family, your children, your personal life and how much information can just be gathered from those alone.  And people can reproduce and use those pictures however they wish because they can copy them off your FB onto their computer.  All you have to do is right click and save as.  Scary, huh? 

Getting ready to have a child makes me want to make sure that I protect my life a little more.  This may seem strange coming from someone who writes a blog, but I don't post personal information on my blog or at least I try to be conscientious not to. 

So, I came across the following blog tonight and thought I'd share this scary story with you all. 

Remember anything you put on the internet is there for everyone to see even if you think you're taking steps to keep your things private. 

A Picture Says a Thousand Words

As much as Paul teases me about "dating" my dad due to our close relationship I can assure you that we've never been in these kind of embraces, photographed or otherwise.  When I saw these pics in a magazine the other day I was shocked and a little disturbed.  In case you haven't seen them I will post them here now for your perusal. 

These are pictures of Stephanie Seymour and her son.  Now, I'm not sure why they are on the beach in their underwear to begin with, but perhaps when you grow up with a mother who is a Sports Illustrated swim suit model, Victoria's Secret model, and was in Playboy several times this is what you end up with.  I really can't say which picture bothers me the most...the one where he's grabbing her breast while he's kissing her, his visible erection, or him sticking it to her from behind (why on earth would you bend over like that in front of your children).  Apparently her other children are frolicking nearby while these pictures are being taken. 

I would have to imagine if social services saw these pictures they may have some questions except in this case her son is 18 years old AND describes himself as "openly gay." 

Does anyone else find these pictures bothersome or do you see a loving mother and son enjoying some quality family time?

Tough Love vs. Child Abuse

A few months ago Dr. Phil had on his show a woman who used hot sauce and cold showers to discipline her young son whom she had adopted from Russia.  Her 10 year old daughter, 1 of the 6 children she has, video taped this as well as her screaming at and berating her son for lying to her about receiving a discipline report in school that day.  The mother was clearly not in control and the son was visibly upset, crying, voice shaking, etc.  It was difficult to watch and the majority of Dr. Phil viewers seemed appalled by this mother's behavior.  I have to say if I was that son I'd lie to that mother, too. 

I often wonder what happens to the families featured on such shows.  Who follows up to ensure the safety of the children?  Isn't Dr. Phil, as a therapist, a mandatory reporter?

The Today Show featured a follow up on this mother at the top of their 8 o'clock hour this morning.  Apparently she lives in Anchorage, AK and the state has decided to charge her with child abuse.  Both the pediatrician and psychiatrist who appeared on the Today Show classified the mother's behavior as abusive.  I agree.  Although it saddens me that child abuse is a misdemeanor in AK.

I don't think this mother set out to be intentionally abusive.  She admitted on Dr. Phil to being overwhelmed and overcome by her parenting responsibilities.  She was asking for help and she was the one who approached the Dr. Phil show for help.  That being said I hope this charge of abuse does lead to someone overseeing the care of these children and assisting this mother in learning some positive parenting skills. 

Some people may discount my opinions on parenting and discipline because I am currently awaiting the birth of my first child and have no real life experience parenting; however, I have taught parenting classes and counseled numerous couples and families in the use of appropriate discipline and parenting skills.  I also worked in child protective services.  My professional opinion counts for something in this matter. 

So, where does tough love cross the line into child abuse?  I think anytime that you are disciplining your child out of your own anger, your own need to control that child's behavior, and your own need to punish your child for whatever they did wrong or that you perceive they did wrong crosses that line.  Parents should never discipline their children when they are angry if they aren't able to put that anger aside for that moment.  Discipline should be about protection and teaching a lesson to your children.  Your children should learn to respect you from the discipline you provide, they shouldn't live in fear of you.

I am curious to hear other people's opinions on tough love vs child abuse.  What do y'all think?