Wednesday, February 27, 2013

The Beauty of HGTV

Ask any woman what her favorite television channels are and I bet most of them list HGTV in the top 3 among the majority of women.  I'm not gonna lie.  We watch some HGTV.  How could you not?  Hot carpenters, getting all sweaty, fixing stuff...yum!  Even if you're lucky enough to have your own hot handyman like I am there's still something about Yard Crashers and Income Property, that gets my blood pumping.  Heck, I even have a girl crush on Nicole Curtis.

(OMG my boxer narrowly missed throwing up on my UGG moccasins!!!  Thankfully I was able to get off the couch with the speed of a sloth that has been eaten by a gazelle and move them.  And luckily my daughter is obsessed with kitchen towels and I had 15 clean dish towels in the living room with which to clean up the vomit.  She likes to use them as blankets to cover our dogs and her toys when they are "sleeping.").

So yesterday I'm doing some laundry, walk into the bathroom, and step into a huge puddle of water!  OMG!         There was quite the puddle of water in front of the washing machine and I had just had the house cleaned.  Grrr!  Our friend Mike who was doing some painting for us chose that moment to show up and, being the awesome guy that he is, volunteered to look at the washing machine.  As he's laying on the floor Paul arrived home.  I'm sure Mike curses the day he met us at Applebees.  Seriously.

Now I'm given the task of scheduling a repair with GE.  $100 for the repairman just to come to our house.  Um, what!  So I look up the manual for our 2 year old washing machine that GE doesn't make anymore supposedly so I can tell them what the men think the problem is and I start reading and I think hmmm, I can fix this.

I can fix this.  (Are you laughing yet?)  Thanks to HGTV I am confident in my ability to get 'er done and I get to work.

I remove parts, I clean out parts, there's water involved, some towels.  My tools were a tablespoon and, wait for it, some chopsticks and a paper towel.

I put everything back together and text Paul, "I read the manual for the washing machine and I may have fixed it.  Let's run a load tonight and see before I schedule a $100 repair call."

I can see the expression of omg on Paul's face as he gets this message at work.  To his credit though he did respond with the "omg what have you done?" but went with the supportive "Look at you superstar" that I was not expecting.

So thank you HGTV for the confidence to tackle an expensive washing machine with some chopsticks and a spoon.  (Seriously for awhile I was convinced I could put in a new window on my own.)

HGTV...making women everywhere think they can do stuff that they have zero experience in.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Proud Parenting Moments

I'm not sure what made us better parents last night...letting our daughter eat her weight in cheese fries at Outback, letting her have some of her free birthday dessert (don't worry though fat mommy and fat daddy ate most of it), or singing a song from our music class when we got home which resulted in her spinning around in a circle until she was dizzy and then falling on top of our chihuahua and us just laughing.

Happy 2nd birthday sweet Emma!  Mommy and Daddy love you more than anything (except apparently not keeping you from taking out our chihuahua...he's old, maybe it's his time, and Emma is gonna be how he goes).

Thursday, February 21, 2013

The Con

Our toddler is a con artist.  Tonight at dinner she got in trouble for putting a piece of shrimp in her mouth, chewing it a little, opening her mouth, and letting the shrimp fall on the floor.  After her daddy told her no she sat there a minute and then started crying hysterically to the point that we thought something was wrong. 

Daddy got her out of her high chair and she immediately held her arms out for mommy (typical of her unhappy or hurt behavior, just wants mommy).  Daddy brought her over to me and I sat her on my lap to find out what was wrong. 

Well, we had shrimp stir fry for dinner with crunchy noodles on top.  Em loves crunchy noodles, but we wouldn't give her any more.  I had the crunchy noodles in front of me. 

As soon as she got on my lap she reached for the crunchy noodles, stopped crying, and asked for a crunchy noodle!  Because she is spoiled she got some and then the stinker said "Emma feels better."  Glad to know a crunchy noodle solves everything! 

Daddy and mommy got played!

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Come On Guys, Follow Me

My daughter is a con artist.  She is funny, she has a large personality, and she knows we think she is awesome.  I'm not sure how this play out when #2 gets here, but I fear that Sweet E will teach #2 her tricks and together they will take over the world.  Or at least our house. 

Last night as soon as Hubby read Sweet E her bedtime stories and laid her down in her crib she started with "sleep with mommy."  He told her no and she went to sleep.  She's had an awful nighttime cough (no other symptoms) and a friend (shout out to JSF) told me about Zarbees cough syrup.  I had given her some before bed and it wore off about 12:41am.  I went in and gave her some more and she laid down, but a few minutes later she had an awful coughing fit. 

I walked into her room and I knew.  You know that smell.  There is vomit somewhere in that crib.  Gag.  Gag.  Gag.  I called for Hubby to come help me get things cleaned up.  He lucked out and got to get Sweet E cleaned up and changed into clean jammies while I tackled the crib. 

And she knew she had us.  As soon as he had her jammies on it wasn't just "sleep with mommy," it was "come on guys, follow me" as she walked to our bedroom.  We were laughing hysterically.  How could we not give in to that?  Famous last words. 

An hour later and Sweet E thought we were all having a slumber party.  There was singing, there was dancing, there may have been crying and begging (on the part of Hubby and I to please go to sleep).  Finally Hubby went to take her back to crib; however, Sweet E retaliated by head butting him in the nose. 

I took Sweet E into her room where she proceeded to have a slumber party with her stuffed animals.  I heard singing, dancing, Lambie asking for a cuddle.  It was a regular old party up Sweet E's crib.  Finally she fell back to sleep and of course was ready to go at 8am, but she was content to watch "mickey phone" (God bless the iPhone and the Disney Jr. app is all I have to say about that) so mommy could rest until 9am.  Poor Hubby had to get up and go to the gym at like 6am. 

Naptime rolls around and Em sleeps from 2ish until 3:50 when she wakes up crying.  I was also napping on the couch (hey I'm pregnant, don't judge) and not ready to wake up so we laid down in our bed where we slept for another hour.  Holy crap.  What have I done?

Now I'm scared for bedtime.  I'm afraid da club is gonna be bumpin tonight in Sweet E's room.  If I'm lucky she'll cough and get to take some of that Zarbees with melatonin.  I mean if I'm lucky she'll have a good nights sleep.  Couch, couch. 

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Good Enough Parenting

I think when you're pregnant you have a ton of ideals.  You look at your friends and with a smirk think to yourself well I'm never going to do that or I'm going to do this differently, my kid won't act like that.  Every parent in the history of time has uttered words to those effects.  And for sure I had expectations of myself in parenting...swim lessons, music classes, dance, toddler gymnastics, etc. 

"My child won't watch tv."

"My child will only watch 30 minutes of educational television a day."

"My child will only eat organic food."

"I won't listen to toddler songs all day long in my car."

"My child will take (insert favorite artistic activity here)."

Emma watches tv.  Probably a LOT of tv by other people's standards.  I mean A LOT.  The tv is on from the time we get downstairs in the morning until naptime.  She also plays a lot.  And talks a lot.  And sings a lot.  And helps with chores.  And plays with the dogs.  She is also incredibly smart.  On her own she figured out that coins from our coin jar go in her piggy bank.  She also knows all the words to the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme song.  Today she asked to watch Super Why because she saw it on the guide on the tv (written, not pictured) and we don't even watch that show.  She also can pick out Little Einsteins off the guide.  And she has really good manners (she says "excuse me please" when she's done eating to get out of her high chair). 

Emma ate organic food and breastmilk her entire first year of life.  I'll admit that since then she's become probably too acquainted with the McDonald's happy meal, chicken nuggets, pizza, and french fries.  She loves french fries.  She also loves vegetables and fruit.  She is not a picky eater and she is a good eater. 

We listen to toddler songs in the car.  So many toddler songs.  In my head all day and night.  My other option is her saying, "Me no like that song" to every contemporary song that comes on the radio. 

There are 1000 overpriced, 30 minute long activities you can sign your child up for and I have friends who actually do sign their children up for those activities. We do not. First off, we are relatively cheap and we budget our money. Spending hundreds of dollars on dance lessons for our 2 year old is not something we are willing to do. Em enjoyed going to the daycare at the gym (back when I worked out) as much as someone else's child enjoys gymnastics. We do a playgroup or two (one of which we actually paid a whopping $21 for a year membership) and we do a movement and music class on Fridays (because it was on sale this session).

We go to Starbucks so often that Em can order my "decaf mocha" and "punken bead" also known as pumpkin bread on her own. 

She has a social workers heart.  Her favorite Sesame Street characters are Bert & Ernie and Super Grover.  If you have a toddler and watch Sesame Street then you know why those characters are special. 

So am I ever going to win parent of the year.  Probably not.  Do I sometimes feel bad about myself comparing myself to my friends who spend ALL FREAKING DAY on the floor playing with their kids?  Absolutely.  Is Emma happy, healthy, and smart?  For sure.  I've come to realize that good enough parenting is pretty darn good.  Em is thriving and that's all that matters.   

Monday, February 11, 2013

Parents of the Year

It has been a banner couple of parenting days here in our household.  I had gotten in the habit of saying son of bees instead of son of bitches and sweet peanuts instead of Jesus Christ.  Over dinner the other night I spilled something on the table and busted out my son of bees.  Immediately Em says son of bees.  I, of course, think this is hilarious and begin laughing.  Paul just sat there and shook his head at me. 

Our morning today included a phone call to poison control after Em took a bite out of a dish pack, 2 leaking windows, and some temper tantrums.  Our evening included Paul allowing Em to eat icicles off the side of our house. 

Yes, when they hand out awards for parents of the year we shall surely be a top contender.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Wild by Cheryl Strayed

I know I don't usually post about books, but I had to comment on this crazy woman.  I'm reading Wild by Cheryl Strayed and I'll start off by saying I'm really enjoying it.  But I also think she is table flipping, Teresa Guidice nuts.  First off if you aren't familiar with the book it is basically a memoir I guess about this woman's journey on the Pacific Coast Trail.  After she has some kind of meltdown because of her infidelities, divorces her husband, and changes her last name to Strayed (um, so you screwed up and cheated on your husband...I don't really think you need to advertise it with a new last name.  Why not just call yourself Cheryl Bigfatslutpuppy then?) she decides to hike the Pacific Coast Trail...by herself. 

Let's review all the ways that this is something I would NEVER do. 

First off, I won't even walk down the service road to an old construction site behind our house by myself and you can see houses almost the entire way.  Everyone knows crazy people live in the woods.  If it wasn't true then they wouldn't make so many movies about them (Have you seen Deliverance or Wrong Turn?).  Why tempt fate?

Secondly, she doesn't even bring a weapon other than a whistle and a ski pole.  There are bears along this trail.  Bears!  I have been fishing in Alaska twice and the guides do not go anywhere without having a rifle along because of the threat of bears and I can assure you that they are more bad ass than some 26 year old, single, white female on a nature walk. 

Third, I see a lot of stuff on facebook or in based on true events movies in which things don't turn out so well for the person going on these trips alone.  Have you seen Into the Wild?  That jackass (God rest his idiotic soul) hitch hiked his entitled ass into Alaska without telling his family where he was going so they sat at home and worried about him and then he died.  Alone.  Because he's an asshole.  If you're gonna hike alone then there's a good chance you're gonna die alone.  No thank you.

Fourth, she wears the same clothes the ENTIRE JOURNEY.  As I'm reading this book all I can think is how utterly disgusting she must smell cause it's not like she has a lot of opportunities for showering until she gets to the equivalent of a crazy, PCT hiker rest area every 100+ miles.  And even after she showers she has to put her dirty clothes back on! 

Fifth, I have no idea what year it's supposed to be.  It seems as if she was raised by hippies and her brother seems like a pot smoking hippy.  But she had a heroin problem during her meltdown so who knows. Jerry Garcia dies in the book so it's whatever year Jerry Garcia died.  I have no idea.  I'm not a hippy (although I think I totally would've been if I had lived in the 70's except for the dreadlocks, not shaving parts because I think dreadlocks just mean you don't wash your hair and are disgusting.  I hate going to a restaurant and having a server with dreadlocks.  Gag.).  If I had lived in the 50's though I totally would've rocked being a housewife.  Maybe.

Sixth, did I mention she hitch hikes?  What crazy person in today's society hitch hikes?  Apparently she has never watched Criminal Minds or CSI or heard of serial killers. 

Seven, sleeping in a tent on a trail has less appeal to me than um just about everything else in life.  I have slept in a tent 4 times in my life.  Once at a drunken island party during college.  I was drunk.  It was college.  That's pretty much all I remember other than waking up covered in paint and vomit.  Good times.  Second, when my sister and I did the Breast Cancer 3 day as walkers and the next year as volunteers.  And that doesn't really count because we were in a park/field with about 2000 other people.  And last when we visited our friends in NY last summer and they already had an overnight camping trip planned.  I liked the hanging out picnic style eating crap, there was a pool, and I liked drinking wine around the fire.  We should've then driven the 10 minutes back to their house to sleep because the rest was THE LONGEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE.  Live and learn my friends.  Live and learn. 

I'm sure I'm totally missing the point of her life altering journey alone, but I just can't get over all of the above (and a million other ones I'm sure I'm forgetting right now because I don't know how much longer Stinks is going to nap for).  I know she didn't die because I think I saw her on Oprah or read about this in O magazine and obviously she wrote a book.  I have about 30 more pages until I finish.

I hear Stinks waking up.  Enter my BuggyLove giveaway!  It ends tomorrow! 

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Potty Training Day 2

For some reason Em thought it was time to wake up this morning at 3:15AM.  So much talking at 3:15am. 

Daddy sleeping. (Yes, Daddy's sleeping.  Shhh)

Sip o' water mommy.  Sip of mommy water. (Go to sleep Em)

Sip o' water mommy.  (Ok, sit up)

Milk.  Milk.  (Paul: Do you want me to get her some milk? Me: Daddy's going to get you some milk.)

insert random singing

Mickey phone.  Doc phone. (No, Em go to sleep)

Pillow, paci, lovie. (Where's your lovie? Where's your paci?)

On and on and on.  For over an hour.  She finally fell asleep and Paul's alarm went off for the gym.  So between getting up 4 times to pee, Emma, and Paul's early morning I felt like I was having to get every other hour. 

So by the time we got up today and I let the dogs out, stopped my bloody nose (fun new pregnancy issue), and made us breakfast we got a late start on potting training.  Between 10am and 12pm Em had 3 accidents.  Our house smelled like a poorly maintained assisted living facility.  At one point I didn't even realize she had peed on the floor until I caught Sasha licking it up.  I just let her finish because I had already watched her for 5 minutes wondering why she was licking the floor (I may need to mop tomorrow, this weekend, soon).  It is clear she isn't ready for potty training so we are taking a break.  I'm not stressed about it.  She's smart.  She'll get it.  She isn't even 2 yet. 

I just finished my nightly snack of a homemade strawberry banana milkshake and English  muffin.  Jealous?

Have y'all entered to win a BuggyLove Organic Stroller Cleaner Kit yet????  There's still time.  Enter now!!!

Monday, February 4, 2013

Potty Training day 1

Today started our potty training journey.  Holy crap I'm tired.  We had a brief period prior to the great illness of Dec. 2012 where Em was excited about using the potty.  We lost momentum over the 3 weeks that we were sick.  And then I just was too nauseous to worry about poop and peeing in the potty. 

Anyways (roll my neck, roll my shoulders, take a deep breath) we decided to go full force today.  Well I did wait until after Em's morning poop to start.  I just couldn't with the poop and the potty and the gag me. 

So after all that Em put her big girl panties on and off we went.  I set the timer for every 30 minutes to remind us to use the potty. 

No pee on the potty.

No pee on the potty. 

No pee on the potty. 

I opted to go with a diaper for naptime and thank goodness. Em had saved everything up for naptime apparently. 

After naptime it was back in the panties.

No pee on the potty.

No pee on the potty. 

No pee on the potty. 

Dinner time.  Peed all over her high chair, the floor, her socks, part of her shirt/bib/napkin.  She was not happy.  But we reassured her it was okay to have accidents and we took her up to the tub. 

Luckily I live in the frozen northeast so staying home in our sweats all day and working on the potty training is not a hardship.

Just a reminder, if you haven't already, to like and share the BuggyLove giveaway!  You did not want to miss out on this!   

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Everyone Needs a Spa Day: BuggyLove Organic Stroller Cleaning Kit Giveaway

How much time does your little one spend in their stroller?  Whether it's playdates, trips to the grocery, walks around the mall, a quick nap, or hitting up the Starbucks life is hard for a busy baby or toddler!  But it can be even harder on their home away from home...their stroller.  Grungy, dirty, scuffed are all normal wear and tear on a stroller, but there is a way to breathe new life back into their stroller.  Enter BuggyLove. 

BuggyLove is a line of organic, 100% natural cleaning products and they sent me an Organic Stroller Cleaning Kit to give away!  Yes, to you! 


This kit is amazing and you need it.  Trust me.  The kit comes with PolishLove for cleaning up your stroller frame, FabricLove for cleaning up stroller seats and fabric, WheelLove for greasing that squeaky wheel, and PolishLove for making everything smell like that spa day we all dream about (it was my favorite part of the kit).  You also get ScrubLove for scrubbing those wheels clean, the MicroLove microfiber cloth, and a re-usable Bag O'Love. 
 
I guess if you're feeling super generous you could give it to someone as a baby shower gift, but trust me, you won't want to.  Enter now to win!
 
http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/9a482f1/" rel="nofollow">a Rafflecopter giveaway


 
 


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