Hell

Everyone who knows me knows that I may be one of the nosiest people on the planet. When I call a friend or family member the first thing I say is "Hey, what are you doing?" And I have no problem eavesdropping on other's conversations.

Tonight though....tonight gave me a glimpse as to what would happen if I died and went to hell.

We went to Uno Chicago Grill for dinner (fyi I don't like that Uno merged with Chicago Grill because they took the greek salad off the menu although I did have a very delicious spring mix, goat cheese, walnut with olive oil/lemon vinagrette salad this evening). We were seated in very comfy seats next to a wall and a table of 3 (2 females and 1 male) on the other side of us.

My hell would be spending all of eternity next to this women. They literally did not stop talking for the entire meal. And I don't mean they just talked a lot I mean I am not sure how they continued to breathe with the amount of words coming out of their mouths. Surely your brain cannot be deprived of oxygen for that long. If I was the guy sitting with them I would've run screaming out of the restaurant because he may have uttered 5 sentences the whole time. Of course he may have been serving out some type of community service forcing him to sit there and listen to these 2 windbags.

Initially it was just the 1 woman monopolizing the conversation and expounding on her coworkers, mutual friends, etc., but during the brief period she stopped to eat her salad the other woman jumped in and off they went!

Literally these women did not eat any of their food because they did not shut up. I tried to rupture my eardrums in the bathroom, but apparently that is harder than you'd think to do. I begged Paul to do it for me with the knife, but he refused. I think he wanted me to suffer with him. The woman who annoyed us initially talked about helping her parents clean out their garage. She inventoried every item they had for her dinner companions. Some items of note...shovels, lots and lots of shovel, but the kind you use for digging dirt (apparently she didn't want us to confuse them with plastic children's shovels you use at the beach for making sandcastles), 15 of them...a bird cage that her mother uses to nurse back to health birds that run into the side of the house and become injured...a microwave that some "poor Hispanics" took from the end of the driveway...Paul and I were laughing so hysterically and making fun of these women that I have no idea how they didn't know we were talking about them because we didn't even pretend not to be talking about them.

The other woman then changed the topic to yoga and how much she loves yoga, but how she's not sure she could handle hot yoga because it's 90 minutes long and what temperature is the room (which they then debated on). Paul had escaped during this time to take our leftovers to the car so we could walk around the mall after. So much talking.

Paul and I debated for a minute if we were on that show "What would you do?" but quickly dismissed that as being too cruel. I do believe if I had stabbed both of the women I could've used an insanity defense because Paul could've testified for me as to how these women ridiculous chatter was enough to drive any person insane.

I know I may sound judgmental, but you cannot know the pain of having to sit next to these 2 women for an entire meal. I would've paid them to stop talking. In fact I told Paul to offer them all the money in his wallet. It was not our weekend for restaurants because last night at Japanese steakhouse (another fyi no Japanese restaurants in New England have shrimp sauce or good sauce at all with their teppanyaki meals! Its soooo disappointing) we sat next to a family and the mother had this shrill, annoying, would not shut up voice. She was so loud!

So that is what my hell would be...stuck next to these 2 women for all of eternity. I will definitely be saying extra prayers for my soul tonight!

Spa ahhhh

My husband is so great. For my birthday he got me an afternoon at the spa and it was amazing!

My afternoon started with fresh strawberries in whipped cream...delic! Don't think I didn't inhale those in about 2.5 seconds. Then I got a 50 minute hot stone massage. I was so relaxed! After my massage I got a 50 minute facial. I thought my skin was in pretty good shape. The 50 extractions that she did imply otherwise. Oh, how I hate extractions! But my reward for all that suffering was lunch! Heading to the spa I thought about how yummy a greek salad would be...the lunch they ordered for me without asking...greek salad wrap! Weird, right? And it was soooooo good! My dessert was a chocolate petit four with another fresh strawberry and whipped cream. I then had to change out of my robe and back into my clothes for my mani/pedi. The day ended with my hair being washed and styled. Too bad I didn't have anywhere to go. Well, I could've gone out with work people, but I was too lazy and too relaxed (and I kinda forgot) to go anywhere. But my hair did look amazing. I was worried that all the salon personnel would be snobby because they looked so trendy, but everyone was so friendly and nice.

Ya know intially I thought it would be nice to have a girlfriend to share the day with, but it was really nice to spend a quiet afternoon not having to make conversation with anyone. There is something to be said for enjoying quiet time alone.

My birthday this year was truly great. I got to see my dad, got to have dinner at the Chart House with Paul, and got great gifts (lol).