Wednesday, February 18, 2009
The Proposal--Feb. 7, 2009
Current mood: ecstatic
Did anyone see the movie "Bride Wars?" Remember where the Kate Hudson character basically proposes to herself...that was basically me this evening...
Last night we went out for a romantic dinner, went to First Friday, and then Paul was planning on proposing...except I got drunk! So, he figured he couldn't propose if I was hammered!
Then this morning he was going to slip it on my finger while we were cuddling except I got out of bed before he was awake. So, he asks me to come back to bed to cuddle and I say I have things to do so he says just for 2 minutes. I lay down and exactly 2 minutes later I get out of bed. He had the ring IN HIS HAND! lol
Tonight we go to a party and Paul says something and my response is "So where's my ring?" And Paul said "It's in our bedroom." And I said "No it's not. You would keep it in your office at work." And Paul insists that it's at home, on a thumb tack on the back of his night stand. So, I say "I bet you $100 there's a not a ring." And we shake on the bet. And Paul says that he can offer me other proof that he has the ring.
We get home and we go in the bedroom and we're lying on the bed and Paul says, "I proposed once and you said no." And I reminded him it was because he didn't have a ring and he says, "So, if I propose again are you going to say yes?" And I say, "If you have a ring." And he leans over and turns back around and has a ring in his hand and says, "Will you marry me?" And I start laughing and crying and he puts the most beautiful ring on my finger!
Our engagement story is perfect for us as a couple because it is totally who we are as a couple...
Plus his other proof was that he called my dad yesterday on his way home from work and asked for his permission...awwwwww!
And I found out that he ordered the ring before he went to the Superbowl and picked it up the day he got back...after he came home for lunch and we had a fight at lunch...he left from lunch and went and got the ring so he must love me tons to want to still marry me after that...lol
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
How am I not a Playboy playmate?
Current mood: confused
I mean, besides the obvious reasons such as weighing approximately 90lbs. more than a playmate; not having huge, fake breasts; not having a flat stomach; excessive amounts of cellulite...
If you can look past those reasons, then I don't understand why I'm not Hugh Hefners next girlfriend. Yes, the thought of being physically intimate with him makes me throw up in my mouth a little, but I think, for enough money and fame, I could get over that. (And I am obsessed with knowing if he sleeps with all his girlfriends or just the main one or none of them...does anyone know???)
I certainly have the personality to be a Girl Next Door as I love to walk around naked (although most people would NOT want to see me walk around naked). I'm funny and loud and outgoing and people like me. I am less obnoxious than Kendra, smarter than Holly, and I like Bridgett so I can't say anything bad about her. I definitely am BETTER looking than the twins that he has as his next girlfriends. Even though they are from FL...yuck! He could've done better.
Maybe if I work out really really really hard at the gym (oh, and find the money to pay for liposuction and a personal chef) my new goal can be to be in Playboy. I think Paul would support that. Besides Bridgett is like 36 and I'm only 31...I got time.
I guess while I wait for my big, naked break I will continue to enjoy life here in south GA (Valdumpster holla) with my fiance...
Do you think Playboy will ever do a big girls edition? If so, I'm all over that!
PS I usually don't like to talk about my clients, but just to illustrate the differences between the races...my gay, black, female client wants to gain weigh so she can be "thick" like me (yes, she called me thick at our session today) because she thinks she is too thin and I want to be thin like her because life isn't fair! She eats like crap and doesn't exercise and has 2 kids and has a much better body than me...I guess the grass is always greener on the other side...lol.
PPS I am officially a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and can now start looking for a job in Boston!!! Oh, and I'm getting married!!!!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Gran Torino and funny conversations
Current mood: contemplative
Paul and I have seen some good movies lately...Marley & Me, Bride Wars, and tonight Gran Torino. I have to admit I was not that thrilled about going, but since Paul so graciously took me to see Bride Wars I felt that, in the spirit of compromise, I needed to take him to see Gran Torino.
Whoa...
It was a truly fantastic movie. You know that when you are leaving a theater and everyone is absolutely silent that the movie touched people way down to their souls.
So, I sent my mom, dad, and sister a text message that said "Gran Torino is sooo good and sooo sad."
From this my dad calls and leaves me a voicemail about how he just got my message...um, yeah dad because I just sent it 2 minutes ago.
So, I call him back and he says "Oh, you're driving home? Are you having problem with the Gran Torino?"
So, I say "What?"
My dad thought my text meant that I was driving in a Gran Torino and having problems with it and was stuck on the side of the road. Hmmmmmm....luckily one of his friends was with him and explained that Gran Torino was also a movie.
But people who know what completely random associations I make should now understand where I get that trait from...poop rolling down the road anyone? A shark's tooth on a deck of a cruise ship...I mean bird poop?
Anyways, it was a truly moving, spectacular, change your outlook movie. Go see it!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Things that may cause me to resume drinking...
Current mood: tired
So, we all know I've given up drinking for January...at least until my party on the 24th. But today...today I almost gave in. I desperately wanted a glass of wine when I got home from work. I was strong, but I think anyone could've forgiven me for my slip.
First we had a LONG night. Sasha, our boxer, was sick and barked to go out every 2 hours. I got up the first time and Paul got up every other time (it was too cold for me to get out of bed), but since I'm a light sleeper I woke up every time.
I had a LONG day. It started with saying goodbye to one of my clients who is going to rehab. She's like my fave and I wish her all the best. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I wouldn't be here when she got back, but I will make sure I say goodbye somehow before we leave.
Then I rushed home to let the dogs out and make sure Sasha was okay.
Then I drove to Tifton and spent an hour and a half with my angry client...she's a trip! She is the loudest talker ever. Imagine yelling and now imagine that is the person's regular tone of voice.
Then I met another therapist for lunch. And we had a great time! But I found out that Turner County, GA still is segregated...as in segregated proms and segregated cheerleading squads (the white girls cheer for football, the black girls cheer for basketball). 2007 was their FIRST desegregated prom! Are you f*cking kidding me? And she said the PARENTS were the ones who continue to plan these seperate proms and even though they had the ONE prom, that the parents still held seperate events. What kind of school district allows this to occur? I may have to write Oprah and get her on this case!
Then it was back to a client's house. She may have the worst children in America. I am fairly certain her children would cause the super nanny or nanny 911 to curl up in the fetal position and enter into a coma like state out of sheer horror. And this was a good day. I don't understand why the mother isn't an alcoholic. And child abuse isn't even her issue (but between us...would totally understand if it was). Imagine 3 minions of the devil...and they are only 1, 3, and 4 years old. There was kicking, biting, throwing things. There is a puppy and I'm constantly afraid I may have to try and kidnap the puppy. Everytime they go near the dog I think to myself "Run, puppy, run!" And mom said the same thing out loud!
Then I drove AN HOUR to another client's house where she started crying except it was like listening to the air being let out of a balloon for 30 minutes. Neighborhood dogs started barking. High pitched, awful noise. And I swear she talked for 30 minutes without stopping for air. And she hadn't turned the light on when I got there so it got progressively darker until finally I couldn't see to write in my notebook anymore and I had to stop her so she could turn the light on.
Then I got home and as soon as I walk into the house it smelled like something had DIED somewhere. All I can think is that Sasha had pooped in her cage and I was going to walk into a MESS. I had to put Vicks under my nose just to go in their without gagging. And what did I find when I got in there? NOTHING. I looked everywhere in the house and checked the dog. Not a thing. It was so strange! And so disgusting. I still have no idea why or what. I even looked under the bed. I was afraid one of my cats had exploded under there or something.
Then I caught up on the Real Housewives of Orange County from last night. Let me just say...
Tamra...BITCH and a bad person.
Vicki...BITCH and annoying as all get out
Jeanna...I like her
Gretchen...I'd kill someone to have her body; however, she is a gold digger and kinda slutty
Lynn...she seems okay; however, she always looks like she has a mouth full of marbles and her daughter makes me want to punch something
Laurie...miss her, wonder how she's that lucky
And the Valdosta Daily Times printed my rant, but totally changed it:
To the parents at the Steamhouse restaurant last night who refused to take their crying 2-year-old home: Take a parenting class. You ruined dinner for every person in the restaurant. Just thought you should know.
And didn't print it until today so the meaning is completely gone.
Oh well. Time go to bed so I can do it all over again tomorrow...
Sunday, January 11, 2009
A long journey
Current mood: content
I have been making an effort to de-clutter my life. Part of this has been going through old photos and getting rid of all the doubles I have, setting aside pics to send to others, and sorting through all the pics of my exhusband, Todd.
I have always struggled what to do with pictures of me and my exhusband. Sometimes that life seems like it happened to a whole other person, and yet it was a part of my life. Just throwing the pictures somehow seems wrong...almost like it would be disrespectful to that piece of me and to Todd.
So, I decided that I'd send all his family pictures that don't have me in them to his mom with a note explaining that I thought maybe she would like them. I am not sure if this is the right or wrong thing to do. I don't think they have the best opinion of me and I don't want her to think I'm sending them to be spiteful. I just felt I couldn't get rid of pictures of their family because I've always loved his family. When we got divorced it was them I missed.
But I did get rid of the pictures of me and Todd (minus my wedding album). I feel that I'm finally ready to let that piece of my life go and move on. I kept the wedding album because regardless of our divorce much of my family and friends were in attendance and I wanted to have that memory of all of us together. My closest friends were in my wedding. My Grammy was there and my mom's family who is now estranged.
Looking through all old photos brought out a lot of different emotions. Some made me laugh, some made me wonder how I could look so much fatter than I do now when I was 20 lbs. lighter, and some made me regretful.
The regret is because I was a really bad wife. Looking back I can remember all the times when I treated Todd horribly just because I was unhappy. I think the unhappiness shows in my physical appearance. In almost every picture I just did not look good. And I'm embarrassed at how I acted towards him and his family. If I could go back and change things I would. That's not to say I wouldn't have ended up divorced, but I would've handled things differently. I would've acted more grateful and graceful and less awful. It makes me sad for myself and for Todd to think of how I acted during those years because all he ever asked for was for me to love him.
I've been on a long journey and I hope I've learned something. I think I have. I think I have become more peaceful, more content with my life. I let go of things that needed to be let go of and have found happiness in the happiness of others. I have kept the friends I've needed to keep and let go of those I didn't and made entirely new ones in the process. Despite my desire to lose weight I'm more accepting of my physical appearance and I think my happiness with myself shows in how I look now. I know myself better and I am always striving to be a better person, to learn, to grow spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.
If for some reason I died tonight I would die happy and content with the life I've lived. And I guess that is truly all anyone can hope for.
Friday, January 09, 2009
The reality of being crappy parents
Current mood: annoyed
So, we went to dinner tonight at a seafood restaurant we had never been to before. It was actually pretty busy and we got a table on the second floor near the bar. And it may have been a fire station at one point b/c it had 3 garage doors and all concrete block walls. So, it was loud.
Enter a family of 4: mom, dad, son approximately 4, daughter approximately 2. Begin the crying. And I'm not talking about "mom I hit my head" crying, but the incessant, no reason behind it, fake crying that makes you want to jam a butter knife into your ears just so you don't have to listen anymore.
So, what's mom's big solution? A time out in the corner. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, in a packed restaurant she sticks her 2 year old crying child in the corner and walks away. Does the time out make the spawn of satan stop crying? No, she just cries harder. And why was she crying? Because she didn't want to sit in a high chair or her own seat...she wanted someone to hold her. Spoiled much?
She cried...THE ENTIRE TIME WE WERE THERE. I could feel my blood pressure rising as my hands started to shake and all I could think about was how much I HATED these people. Mom finally took her outside and Paul asked if it would be wrong to clap. She bought her back in and crying resumed. You could see the murderous looks being shot in their direction and yet the parents were oblivious. They actually ordered their food (we had the same unfortunate waiter who hated them as much as we did...we know this because we discussed it when he would come back to our table).
You know what? When your kid is causing other people to HATE YOU then it's time to pack up your food and eat at home. Plus it was 8:30pm. Why are you feeding your very young children at 8:30pm? Your kids should've been fed at 6pm and already in bed. I, in fact, suggested to our waiter that he bring their food out in to go boxes and tell them, "Here's your food...to go...now go."
So, then Paul and I started contemplating what we would say to these people should we have been unlucky enough to sit next to them. My response would've been, "If you don't shut your kid up, I'm going to slit your throat with my fork." Paul's would've been, "Either take your kid outside or I'm going to beat up your husband." I also tried to figure out if there was anything on our table that I could've thrown across the 50 feet and hit them with. Or perhaps knocked their child out with so she would SHUT UP!
Just when I thought I was going to get an opportunity to say something to them as we walked out the door they got up and left before we did. And blessed silence filled the restaurant.
Paul and I are now going to write to the "Rants and Raves" section of the Valdosta Daily Times in hopes that these awful parents will read about what awful parents they are and make a different choice in the future regarding their lack of appropriate public parenting skills. Mine went something like this: To the parents at the Steamhouse restaurant last night who refused to leave when their 2 yr. old wouldn't stop crying...YOU SUCK. Take a parenting class. You ruined dinner for the entire restaurant. Just thought you should know.
Now, I know I have yet to have children and I love all my "nieces and nephews," but I am also fairly confident that NONE of my friends would subject other people to their kid's hysterical behavior in public for AN HOUR.
I guess perhaps it's good that I don't yet have children; however, I can't see my attitude on this situation changing anytime soon. Some things just require common decency. And no, I have no sympathy for poor parents who just deserve a night out to dinner. Absolutely you deserve to go out, but then you should go at an appropriate time for your child and you should teach your child how to behave in public.
There goes my babysitting jobs...
Friday, January 09, 2009
Animal House
Current mood: weird
Let me give you a quick recap of my week.
Work was work. I have several new clients. When I called my boss, per her request, to obtain some additional information as to one new client she said, "I think he's some kind of offender." Hmmm...WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN? Like a sex offender, did he kill someone, can I have some more info? She didn't know. So I gamely go to his trailer and actually think he seems quite nice (despite his lengthy criminal history) and he has a chihuahua. Well, his mom has a chihuahua. And I still cannot pronounce his name even though he told me what it was and I have it written down (far more vowels than consonants...it's like 2 names together...like if I was Jennannioeugrnnta). I also have his baby mama for a client who lives two trailers down and across the street. I almost killed myself going up and down the stairs into her trailer because they go straight up and do not appear attached to anything (such as the trailer or each other). Oh, and did I mention they shake and wobble as you step on them. She may have the worst children in America. And a puppy.
Speaking of pets...keep in mind that my Chinese Crested Beauty has to wear a diaper because she, at 6 years old, is not potty trained and feels the house is her personal toilet. After having the carpets cleaned, again, at Christmas I decided NO MORE and thus the diaper which was working great...until we went to my mom's for Christmas and my mom's dogs literally scared the piss out of Beauty...and into her diaper...twice...
Last night I'm laying on the couch and Beauty is next to me. Beast, the chihuahua, jumps up and I think "ewww Beast, you stink" and get up to let the dogs outside. Beauty doesn't come. So, I come back to pick her up and as I take off her diaper I realize her diaper is full of poop. My dog pooped in her diaper (how many people can say that phrase?). So, now I am trying to carry the dog, with her diaper still half on, not drop any poop on the carpet, and open the backdoor. I was in fact successful (although is it truly successful when your dog poops in a diaper?).
Then our cat, Simba. Simba who I was conned into taking by my college roommate. Simba who was born outside. Simba who apparently believes he is a dog and is OBSESSED with our Boston Terrier, Jojo. Simba constantly harasses Jojo, rubs against Jojo, tries to wrestle with Jojo (because he wrestles with Beauty--perhaps the funniest thing ever to be seen in history--a hairless dog wrestling with a cat). Simba also desperately wants to go outside with the dogs and scratches at the door when they're outside. Simba eats dog food despite his ever full bowl of cat food. Simba even lays sprawled out on the floor like a dog.
Don't even get me started on Beauty and Beast who physically fight when we go on walks and embarrass me beyond belief.
I know you are all jealous of my glamorous life...
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Is it bad when exercise causes open wounds?
Current mood: sore
Last night we took the dogs for a walk and I put on a pair of regular old workout pants. As we walk my thighs rub together to the point that I'm surprised my underwear didn't catch on fire. We get home and I realize that I have RUBBED THE SKIN OFF MY THIGHS AND NOW HAVE AN ACTUAL SORE. Which continues to be painful and is now covered in a scab. Let me just say scabs on your inner thighs do NOT lend themselves to romance.
But that did not deter me from spending an hour at the gym today...30 min on the elliptical and once around the circuit. The Wii said I LOST 2 lbs; however, my Mii is still chubby and in fact I noticed that her belly sticks out from under her shirt which looks like a half shirt, but isn't. Sad. :(
I then bucked up and we took the dogs on a walk again (wooowooo), but was smart enough to wear bike shorts UNDER my pants to save my thighs. Which worked delightfully.
But now I'm sore, but in a good way. I've also been taking a 15 day cleanse; however, am disappointed b/c so far there has been any cleansing...Bastards! I think the girl at the Smoothie King where I bought it lied to me about her boss losing 15 lbs. on it. I mean I can't imagine that someone who works part time at a Smoothie King would LIE about a product NOT approved by the FDA, but I guess it could happen.
I did get some additional exercise today LAUGHING MY ASS OFF at Paul playing rhythm step on the Wii Fit. And let me just say that he LOVES to shake his groove thang.
Sunday, January 04, 2009
3 blogs I didn’t post on here and got yelled at for not posting
Current mood:fat
Friday, January 2, 2009
Morbidly obese
Laying in bed last night, flipping through channels we came across a show on TLC on morbidly obese people. I have to admit that I have always held a little bit of a prejudice against those who are morbidly obese...not so much out of hatred, but more fear of how I could end up myself.
The first show was something about obese teens and it made me really angry...not at the teens themselves, but at their parents. How on earth could you allow your child to reach the point at 16 years old they need gastric bypass surgery just to survive? The one mother had such improper expectations of her 16 year old and babied him to such an awful extent (she had another child who had died) that you just couldn't imagine a way for this boy to ever have a normal life UNLESS he and his mother received counseling. He was in a situation in which he was almost bedridden. They cut off 70 lbs. of fat from his stomach when they did his bypass surgery. And instead of acting like a 16 year old, he acted like an 8 year old, and mother treated him like an 8 year old although he did not appear to have any intellectual defects that would cause that.
It is my opinion that social services need to step in in those circumstances and deal with that family so that a child does not die of obesity and so the parents stop enabling the child. And its interesting in ALL the cases shown the parents were overweight as well. Maybe not morbidly obese, but certainly at the point that they needed to lose 50+ lbs.
Then we watched Half Ton Mom. This woman weighed 900 lbs. and was bedridden. She was unable to roll over, care for herself, and basically her life existed in her bed. She had 2 beautiful children and her parents appeared to be of normal weight for their age and height. Her sister is overweight, but not morbidly so. Hearing her story made me think 2 things:
When she was hit by a drunk driver and confined to bed someone had to be the one bringing her food that lacked nutritional value. Perhaps if someone had stepped in earlier and fed her nutritional foods then she wouldn't have ballooned to the point where she weighed 900 lbs.
But she did posses a beautiful spirit and show courage when she opted for gastric bypass surgery knowing she may die from the surgery. She had little options as she either needed to lose the weight medically, risk and all, or she would die within the year from her weight. And so she had the surgery...and died 2 weeks later of a heart attack. Her story made me sad, especially for her daughters. And so I emailed them on myspace just a little bit ago (they showed her page on TLC).
This morning we watched The Biggest Loser: Family Edition. When the one daughter weighed LESS than I do currently I knew I really needed to get serious (as in her BEFORE weight was LESS than my current weight and then she lost 42 lbs). Paul pointed out that she was not as tall as I am, but still. I cannot continue to ignore my weight and hope that it will magically disappear. I cannot think myself thin.
So, I went to the gym. And came home and played Wii fit. I have decided that while I LOVE wine I am going to abstain until January 24th (party that afternoon) and also am going to lay off the soda. Hopefully my heart burn issues will improve and I'll drop a few pounds to boot. I can't completely give up my coffee though (although I have gone from daily to twice a week).
2009 is about being healthier, living healthier, and continuing to work on myself...being content and at peace and grateful.
Posted by Searching4Something at 1:30 PM 0 comments
Monday, December 29, 2008
The first day
So, my first day of trying to be healthier...let me recap the rest of the day...
Enjoy a Reese's peanut butter tree on my way to Tifton. If you've ever been to Tifton, GA then you understand the need for chocolate on the way there. I also had 20 oz. of water though.
No snack when I got home. Spent 45 minutes unpacking and hooking up all the Wii components and equipment. Hooked up the Wii fit. Made our Mii's. Mine is sooo cute and chubby! You know it's not good when you step on the Wii and it says, "Ooh." As in "fat ass get the hell off of me!"
Here is the "skinny" on me not being skinny:
I fall into the overweight category...big surprise. I really was expecting obese as my scale likes to call me.
My Wii fit age is 39. Not too bad as Paul's was 47.
In a surprising twist Paul tested as a couch potato in strength training and yet I was a body builder...on the other hand I was a yoga novice and he was a yoga instructor! It was like bizzaro world.
Now the next 2 hours were spent: eating spaghetti dinner, having some spinach dip (made with low fat mayo and fat free sour cream, having 1 reese's tree, and kicking Paul's ass at QB challenge.
At this point my right arm is numb and I may have developed carpel tunnel.
So, my big question is this...does 2 hours of Wii count as exercise?
Oh, and I have to lose 5 lbs. by 2 weeks or Wii will be mad at me. So keep me honest people!
Posted by Searching4Something at 6:37 PM 0 comments
Fatty, fatty 2 by 4
I've decided to chronicle my "I am sick and tired of being a fat ass" journey to good health and skinny jeans through my blog. Why you would be interested in this is beyond me, but I am arrogant enough to think that y'all will think it is hilariously funny and so let us begin.
At 31 years old and 5'7" I am 175 lbs. which is approximately 40 lbs. more than I weighed in high school, 30 lbs. more than I weighed in college, and 25 lbs. more than I weighed when I got married. If I had known I would be closer to 200 lbs. than 100 lbs. at this point in life I NEVER would've complained about being fat when I was younger. (FYI I think you should grow thinner as you grow older than fatter as young people do not deserve such rocking bodies as they cannot properly appreciate them)
So, here I am, unable to bend over and tie my shoes without suffocating myself, have a nice spare tire in case my car breaks down, and become winded walking up stairs (or to the mailbox...whatever). I can no longer see my toes over my stomach which protrudes more than my breasts do (not an attractive look I can assure you) AND Santa ain't got nothing on me with the shaking and laughing (jelly what?).
That being said I did have a Publix sub for lunch with a few slices of extra cheese; however, I did have it on wheat bread which is not my fave and I only had 1/2 a fiber bar for breakfast with my McDonalds coffee (as I cannot financially afford Starbucks after Christmas). For the rest of the week I've stocked up on eggs, salad stuff including low fat (gross) dressing, and tuna. At least for lunch I shall eat healthy and in an effort to save money and calories will not be eating out for lunch or dinner Monday thru Thursday.
I also have my gym (plug for Ladies Workout Express in Valdosta) and got a Wii for Christmas and miraculously was able to find a Wii fit yesterday so this evening will be Wii fit time. My goal is to exercise in some form daily, even if its taking the dogs for a walk. I wish I was a morning person so I could get up and get going, but why ruin a streak when I haven't gotten up before 8am (okay 8:30am) since I've moved to Valdosta. I used to be friends with a girl who worked out before work and after work and she looked amazing and was happy all the time. As I am basically lazy I am going to stick to my once a day goal for now.
And since I am about one bad outfit away from being on "What Not to Wear" and I often think I could cause Stacy and Clinton to suffer heart attacks with my choices I figure I will be much more inclined to spruce myself up if I am able to fit into cuter clothes (like my sister and Mary...bitches).
I will let you know this evening how the Wii fit turns out. Hope I don't break anything. Since my initial brain age on Nintendo DS was 77 years old (I've since improved to 44 years old...sad) I have very low expectations to my fit age (I wonder if it goes above 100 years old?).
Sunday, January 04, 2009
The reality of stupid
Current mood:fat
Paul and I drove 2 HOURS to take 2 of our 4 dogs to a dog park in Jacksonville, FL. The reason we only took 2 dogs is because my "dogs" (aka small furry children...okay, only 1 has fur, but whatever) do not enjoy the dog park. Our trips to the dog park basically consist of Beauty trying to escape the entire time (which is her sitting by the entrance, looking pitiful, and begging people to free her) or sitting next to me on the bench and Beast obliviously walking alone sniffing trees and grass with zero interaction with other dogs.
So, we took Sasha and Jojo who LOVE the dog park. They ran, wrestled, barked, and swam with joy. And then conked out completely for the entire ride home. Thank god because Sasha's breath could kill you when she gets too close.
We decide to go eat at Outback for dinner. Yummy! Except we were slightly derailed on the way to our call ahead seating time by 2 people FIGHTING in the middle of Northside Dr. And by 2 people I mean a man and a woman punching each other. So I tell Paul to call 911 as I am driving and he does and then he tells me to turn around.
We get back and he's on the phone with 911 and I pull over and there's another car also parked. As we get out of the car this guy is screaming "Get back in the car" except with a more urban feel to his speech. What does Paul do? He hands me the phone and walks across the road.
Now I'm on the phone with 911 like an eye witness reporter giving her the play by play. The other car was apparently the girl's friend because the girl gets in and they start to drive away...well, they start to slowly drive next to the guy who is walking down the road screaming at Paul. Oh, and Paul...is screaming back. Nice!
The guy then gets in the car with the 2 girls. (FYI if you are stupid enough to let this guy get in the car with you after you fighting on the side of the road then you deserve to get your ass beat by him when you get home)
So, what do we do? We follow them of course. All the way to Walmart on Inner Perimiter and me on the phone the ENTIRE time giving 911 the 411. We believe they drove to Walmart to determine if we were following them because they parked sideways near the Goodwill trailer and all of them got out of the car and looked around at which point the police came roaring up (which actually was pretty funny).
3 police cars show up and LET THE PEOPLE GO. Which then causes Paul to get into a heated discussion with the officers which causes the one officer to forcefully give us his name and storm off into his squad car which causes me to shake my head in frustration and hunger.
When Paul is finally done "voicing" his opinion on why the police suck to the police officers we get to Outback where we are pitied and still give our 7:15 call ahead time despite not arriving till 7:30pm and we ended up being sat around 8pm.
You will all be proud to know that I refrained from having a drink even though I DESPERATELY wanted one, but I did chow down on some cheese fries (we only shared a half order though). And I did not eat my entire meal.
Driving back we tried to theorize why this couple was in the middle of the road WITH NO CAR to be seen (near McKey Planation and Crestwood). We decided they were planning or carrying out a home invasion and for some reason got into a fight about it. Maybe the girl wanted a bigger cut or something or changed her mind. Or maybe he forgot his gun. I suppose we shall never know.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
The Dogs
Current mood: exhausted
So, last night we were so traumatized by seeing Marley & Me (even though I read the book) that we decided to let all the babies sleep with us. In case you aren't aware all the babies consist of 4 dogs (Chihuahua, Chinese Crested, Boston Terrier, Boxer) and 2 cats. We have tried this once in the past and it did not work out and at 3am I ended up getting up and putting all the dogs in their cages and kicking the cats out. But I love my babies so let's go.
Starts out not too bad. I'm on my side, Paul's on his side, and between us lies Beast (chihuahua), Sasha (Boxer) and Jojo (Boston terrier). Beauty (chinese crested) is under the covers by my feet and somewhere on the bed is Simba (cat). Sherman (cat) does not really do dogs so he came in, saw our hot mess, and left.
And I was tired so I thought for sure I would fall asleep quickly as I felt pretty relaxed...but then I was too hot...and then someone was snoring (Sasha, Jojo?)...and then I had to pee...and then...and then...
And so time marched on and I lay awake as pets and Paul slept all around me. It was one of those nights where I drifted in and out of sleep, never fully falling into a deep sleep. It was a LONG night! Even after Paul got up and let the dogs out and then put them into their cages for a little bit I couldn't fall asleep.
Now I am exhausted and drinking coffee and hoping for some motivation as the thought of going to the grocery is too overwhelming at this level of tiredness.
On It's Me or the Dog Victoria was working with a Chinese Crestged who was mean and thought the house was her own personal toilet. I swear she was Beauty's twin! I tivo'd it in case I need to reference it again in the future and got some very good ideas (umbilical leash here we come!) for my dog who currently wears a diaper (and pees in the diaper on occassion which was so not the intention when I bought it--I thought it'd keep her from peeing at all!). Of course the next dogs were Great Danes and watching the Great Dane knock over his owner made me laugh hysterically! Of course I'm mean like that. :(
All I want to do now is go by Wii fit and Nintendo DS games (wedding planner game here I come!) because I think my Sim Castaway is not happy and is losing her will to live (not my fault...can't find any tools or food!).
Almost 11am and still rocking my jammies...nice! Oh well. We have a wedding at 3pm so I'll get dressed eventually...
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Marley & Me **spoiler alert**
Current mood: thankful
Against better judgment, Paul and I went to see Marley & Me this evening. I was already tired and slightly emotional from leaving my family in FL (and knowing my sister is moving next month) and I had read the book so I knew what was going to happen at the end of the movie. But I felt perked up after dinner (FYI Texas Roadhouse cheese fries and cactus blossom are NOT as awesome as Outback's awesome blossom and cheese fries; however, I still had to taste test for myself to be sure).
We arrive in perfect time to miss most of the previews and sit back to enjoy the movie. I have to admit that I had low expectations as I usually don't like movies based on books (see Twilight blog), but Marley surprised me. It was really funny.
You grow to love Marley and since I have a girl crush on Jennifer Aniston I was happy there, too. Paul and I agreed that we would stay together forever as long as I looked as good as Jennifer Aniston at age 40 and he looked as good as Owen Wilson (body wise, not nose wise). It's just a cute family movie.
But as you're watching the movie you realize that Marley is getting older. And we all know what happens when things get older...
They die.
Or in the case of most pets they are put to sleep. I'm crying slightly, trying to maintain control of myself because I know I am about a tear away from becoming a sobbing hysterical mess. Even Paul got a little teary eyed.
But I don't think it was the movie that made me cry. It was the thought of losing any of my pets...Beauty, Beast, Sasha, Jojo, Sherman, Simba. I may complain about them and curse at them on a daily basis, but they are my babies. I would be devastated if anything happened to any of them.
When the lights came up and Paul and I sat there and tried to compose ourselves we both looked at each other and knew...all the babies would have to sleep with us tonight and we must go home immediately and lay on the floor and let the dogs climb all over us.
I don't understand people who mistreat animals. Dogs are always happy to see you when you get home, they love you unconditionally, and they never complain. As mad as you get at them they are always loving. How can anyone look at a pet's doggy or kitty little face and be hateful to them? I think there is a specially awful hell for people who are mean to animals, children and old people.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Twilight
Current mood: sleepy
I know there are many of you who may feel my upcoming thoughts are sacreligious; however, I do have to say...Twilight movie sooooo not as good as Twilight book.
The book mesmorized me. I finished all 4 books in about a 2 week period.
My sister and I went to see the movie last weekend. I did not have high expectations b/c I do NOT like the actress who plays Bella so right off the bat I was annoyed. Do you ever see people who just annoy you immediately for some reason? This is this actress to me (probaby b/c she was in that stupid true story movie Into the Wild that irritated me beyond belief).
Second...all the vampires looked way too old to be in high school. On the flip side Dr. Cullen looked like he was about 23 years old. Way too young. I did like the girl from The Ex List aka crazy on Grey's Anatomy who played Esme.
Third...I do not believe that someone as passionate and sexy as Edward could have loved that ugly ass girl who played Bella. I don't know why people keep talking about their chemistry...what chemistry?
Fourth...the the scenes where Edward runs real fast or climbs a tree...STUPID! Bad bad CGI. Definitely need a new director.
All that being said I am sure I will end up going to see the other movies when they came out. They are no Harry Potter movies, but...I do love the books. Karin and I were the oldest people in the theater and even the young'ens seemed disappointed and laughed at the movie.
But in today's random news...went to see a new client....as I walked up a squirrel ran away from me and then turned and charged me. Scared the crap out of me.
Oh, and I learned that drinking wine and making Christmas cookies does not end with artistic, well crafted cookies. Just a little FYI...
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Today's un-normal event
Current mood: bouncy
Let me back track first to last night...I'm seeing a client last night and I make...HER CRY! Probably b/c I told her that something was bullcrap and called her on her craziness. But I did feel bad that she cried (of course not bad enough to remember to call and check on her today). The situation that is bullcrap...her "boyfriend" just got out of jail on Thanksgiving and has already cheated on her with the woman he was cheating on her with BEFORE he went to jail. But she loves him...really? Really? Girl, we got some work to do.
But on to today...come home from work and see a tow truck in front of my neighbor's house (or I assume a tow truck b/c of the bright lights and loud noise). Okay, whatever. Get out of my car and hear "Excuse me miss." Turn around to find this man walking towards me. He flashes a badge, his drivers license, an Arby's coupon (I have no idea) and says, "I'm Agent whatever. Do you know your neighbors?" Um, apparently not. And then asks me if they have a Jeep Liberty. Um, I can't even tell you what my license plate number is or what kind of truck Paul has and I'm supposed to tell what my neighbors drive. I did remember seeing some kind of SUV which I told him.
So, he's either a repo man, FBI Agent, or someone who will break into all our houses and kill us in our sleep. Okay, not my sleep b/c I don't sleep, but Paul doesn't have a chance. Okay, I don't either b/c I have zero survival instinct. Sad.
But in exciting news my sissy is coming to visit us on Saturday and I'm wicked excited. Wicked...Boston...I'm practicing the lingo so I fit in when we move.
Oh, and I went to the gym today...I rock. Go me, go me, go me. I have to lose weight before we move to Boston b/c we all know my fat, lazy ass will not be leaving the house when it's 10 degrees especially to go work out. I'm the person who litter trained my dog in OH so I didn't have to take him out in the snow. Come on now!
And in other dog related news...Beauty (my Chinese Crested) has to wear a diaper b/c she's bad. So not only is she ugly on her own she is now ugly in a diaper. Have you ever seen a baby monkey in a diaper? Aren't they cute? Yeah, she doesn't look like that. She kind of looks like a very ugly monkey in a diaper. Sadder.
Friday, December 12, 2008
The gym
Current mood: happy
I made it to the gym today. Whoohooo! Is it sad that I am completely proud of myself when I go to the gym? Like probably wouldn't be prouder if I won a Nobel Prize, got a Ph.D, etc?
Of course my gym routine takes 30 minutes and I rarely (and by rarely I mean never) do anything other than that 30 minute set. It's one of those womens gyms like a Curves.
The only reason I went today:
Um, I didn't work.
I had a Frosty Float at Wendy's (FYI delic).
And I thought I might want a cookie later.
Hmmm....I wonder why I can't lose weight...any thoughts?
Thursday, December 11, 2008
The Christmas spirit...lacking this year
Current mood: blah
A couple of random thoughts:
The other day I was running errands and decided to eat lunch at Atlanta Bread (FYI NOT as good as Panera, but Valdosta doesn't have a Panera) b/c I wanted a Greek salad (FYI not a lot of places in Valdosta to get Greek salad). Get stopped at a light about 20 cars back from the light and I notice that despite the fact there is a green turn arrow the front car is NOT turning. Hmmm...Sit there, wait. Green arrow again and NOTHING happens. Now I'm getting pissed. Plus there are now an additional 15 cars behind me. There is no one in the lane to go straight so I pull up next to this front car and roll my window down. The guy rolls his window and I say, "You're in the f**ing turn lane. You need to f**ing turn." Which he tries to deny so I point out the fact that there is a turn arrow on a sign in front of him plus we passed a sign that said "Right Lane right turn only." I am PISSED! And then I notice his small child in the front seat. Clearly this man is an idiot b/c you don't put small children in the front seat with airbags, but whatever. Finally this douchetastic excuse turns and I almost could hear the applause of the people behind him. Of course now I'm stuck in the straight lane; however, a nice car let me pull back over so I could turn. I felt so bad and worried about my karma so much that the ABC had a adopt a foster kid for Christmas tree and I took 2 wishes off the tree to buy for 2 foster kids.
I've been subpoenaed again for the same case that I've been subpeonaed for 3 other times (2 times court was cancelled, 3rd time the subpoena they gave me was for a date already past). This date...December 23rd. Really? Court was cancelled on a random Tuesday b/c the judge just didn't want to do it and you expect me to believe that he's going to have court on Dec. 23rd. Plus I am planning on being in FL then and have 2 doctors appts on Dec. 23rd. So I called the attorney to say I will not be there and she is waiting to talk to her boss who should be in this weekend (Um, b/c he doesn't work during the week? What the hell?). I am sure my boss would have a stroke if she knew I did this, but I do not care and I get screwed and have to stay here and court is cancelled then I'm quitting and I"ll just do temp work until we move. I am completely anxious about this situation now and couldn't sleep at all last night because of it.
I was at a family team meeting at Dept. of Families and Children yesterday. After the team meeting the grandmother in the case asked if we could all pray, we stood up, held hands, and she said a prayer. She also praised Jesus through the entire meeting. Not that I minded the prayer, but really? Only in GA.
I have only been working out so that I can come home and eat cookies at night (damn you Lofthouse). And I wonder why I can never lose weight BUT...
I also heard on the radio that a study shows women feel their sexiest and most confident at age 34. Hmmm. At least I have something to look forward to.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Breakfast at McDonalds
Current mood: blessed
Breakfast at McDonald's
This is a good story and is true, please read it all the way through until the end! (After the story, there are some very interesting facts!):
I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree.
The last class I had to take was Sociology.
The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with.
Her last project of the term was called, 'Smile.'
The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions.
I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I thought this would be a piece of cake,
literally.
Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning.
It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son.
We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did.
I did not move an inch... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.
As I turned around I smelled a horrible 'dirty body' smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men.
As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was 'smiling'
His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance.
He said, 'Good day' as he counted the few coins he had been clutching.
The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.
I held my tears as I stood there with them.
The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted.
He said, 'Coffee is all Miss' because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).
Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes.
That is when I noticed all eyes in the
restaurant were set on me, judging
my every action.
I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray.
I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand.
He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, 'Thank you.'
I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, 'I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope.'
I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, 'That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope..'
We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give.
We are not church goers, but we are believers.
That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.
I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand.
I turned in 'my project' and the instructor read it.
Then she looked up at me and said, 'Can I share this?'
I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class.
She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed.
In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my son,the instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student.
I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn:
UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.
Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to
LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS -
NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE.
Monday, December 01, 2008
Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you?
Current mood: silly
Is it sad that when your boyfriend drives into the neighborhood the two of you live in and passes a cop car his first thought is that they were at your house and you must've called 911?
Which so was not the case by the way. I mean they were at my house, but I didn't call 911.
I'm sitting in the office, frantically trying to get some work done, when there is a knock on the door. I assume its the FedEx or UPS or something and go to open the door to find 2 Lowndes County Sheriff Deputies standing there. Of course the dogs are going crazy and since Beauty is an escape artist I have to pick her up, go out the door with her, close the door, turn around, open the door, and shove her back through the door. Plus although I am dressed for the gym I look as if I just rolled out of bed. I would make Clinton and Stacy cry today (well, most days really).
He asks if Jennifer Grant is in and I say that's me and he has a subpoena for me. No biggie seeing as this is my 3rd subpoena for the same case and court has been cancelled twice before. He fills out the form and the other deputy says, "Looks like your recycling bin tipped over" and I look up to see trash all over the entire front yard and driveway, including under my car. My response, "Oh man."
Deputy hands me the subpoena and I start to read it. Um, excuse me? This is for Nov. 25th. So they can come back so I can physically show them as the word of someone who lets trash blow all over their yard is not good enough. They say that they'll take it back and I mention how I don't want to get in trouble for not being in court on the 25th; however, seeing as I was never served then I can't be. Deputy says he believes the new court date is Dec. 5th (I won't hold my breath) so I'm sure they'll be back to serve me again.
They get in the car and I begin picking up trash trying not to laugh because Paul's on his way home and his neighbors are incredibly nosy and I'm sure this whole situation is too much for them to comprehend.
And Paul gets home and the first thing he says, "Cops were here" because he passed them on his way in.
And this is my life...
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Black Friday
Current mood: content
Despite my boyfriend, his brother-in-law, and his 2 sisters getting up in the middle of the night to go shopping on Black Friday I spent my Black Friday how it should be spent...in bed.
His sisters got up at 2am in order to be somewhere at 3am. Paul and his bro-in-law got up at 4am to leave at 4:30am. They all ran into each other at Sears at 5am.
The only time I am getting out of bed to leave the house at 3am or 4am is if the house is on fire...and even then it's really a crap shoot if I actually will get up...depends a lot on how sleepy and lazy I am (I have minimal survival instinct).
Besides I figure there is NOTHING I need on sale at 5 o'clock in the morning that I wouldn't be willing to pay full price for at a more reasonable hour and if I can't afford it for full price then I probably don't need it in the first place.
And the poor man trampled to death at Walmart just confirms my belief that CRAZY people shop at Walmart. How desperate for a flat screen tv do you need to be to literally trample someone to death. Come on people!
Between that and watching JackAss 2 on Thanksgiving I have figured out that America is in a downfall. Have you ever seen JackAss 2? If any of those were my sons I would disown them. I have never seen such stupid people in my entire life. And its a sad commentary on American culture when such stupidity allows idiots to get rich while other people struggle and can't find full time jobs despite have a masters degree. We live in a sad, sad world. We have people in our country who are homeless and yet I watched some guy get a dildo shot up his ass, pour beer into his ass, climb on top of a rocket and get shot over a lake, put on a helmet and let someone fart into it (take your pick as to which is the most completely asinine).
Topped only by the news that a professional football player shot himself in the leg in a nightclub...really? Really?
Yes, despite being a Democrat, I believe that our stupidity as a nation will be our utter demise. The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard and so Darwin's theory of natural selection is utterly irrelevant in today's society.
All that being said we did put up our Christmas tree yesterday, buying said tree from a very interesting good ole boy from GA who could not stop talking about how Obama can't produce a birth certificate. Really? Ya think that American citizenship wouldn't be something that the Democrats wouldn't have checked out before allowing him to run or that McCain wouldn't have jumped all over in his ad campaigns. Hmmm...perhaps that is why you sell Christmas trees for a living.
I am excited for Christmas. My only hope is that people remember that Christmas is not about capitalism, but about spending time with loved ones, giving back to others, and being grateful for all you do have.
Hope everyone had a safe and happy Thanksgiving!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Today’s work challenge is...
Current mood: surprised
Go to see a new client for the first time. Her house is on a dirt road and I actually ended up being very pleasantly surprised when I got there b/c some of the houses I passed I would've been afraid to go into.
We are sitting on the couch chatting and all of this sudden there is this HUGE noise as in plane breaking the sound barrier sonic boom kind of noise and it scared the crap out of me b/c I think we are being attacked and yet she doesn't even flinch.
So I ask her what that is and she says
"Oh, that's Moody. They're dropping bombs." Her front yard seems to literally be next door to Grand Bay (aka the Lanier side of Moody AFB).
Hmmmmm.....
So our entire session is plane noise, whistling noise, bomb going off...plane noise, whistling noise, bomb going off...approximately every 45 seconds.
Nice, huh? I remember when I had an office...sigh.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
The challenges of my job
Current mood: chill
You know how when a woman doesn't shave her armpits and then raises her arms above her head so you can see said armpits and then its all you can stare at...
Now imagine having to conduct a therapy session with said woman...
You know how sometimes you go into the bathroom and forget to zip your pants back up...
Now imagine having to conduct therapy after your client comes out from the bathroom with his pants unzipped...
You know how sometimes you say random things that make no sense and your friends laugh at you...
Now imagine its your client saying random things that make no sense in therapy and instead of laughing you have to have zero facial expression or reaction...
You know how sometimes you are bored beyond belief listening to someone drone on and on and you can think of other stuff while pretending to pay attention...
Now imagine its your client in therapy droning on and on and you start to drift off and then realize Shit, I think he/she just said something important and you wonder what the hell you missed and how you can find out without admitting you weren't paying attention...
You know how sometimes you ask someone a question and they come back with a completely unrelated answer that becomes a completely unrelated story...
Now imagine its your client and instead of answering a question about his significant relationships they launch into a story about how they had sex with a woman in his living room and then proceeds to tell the same sex story in response to EVERY question...
You know how sometimes you blurt things out at the wrong time...
Now imagine your client blurts out "I'm not the devil" in the middle of group counseling and all you, the therapist, can do is laugh uncontrollably until tears roll down your face and you have to leave the room...
You know how sometimes you are sitting across from someone and they seem off somehow or maybe not all there...
Now imagine its you, the therapist, in your office with your client alone for 45 mintues when 3 police officers show up in bullet proof vests to search your client for a weapon and question him about a threat he made to kill someone...
You know how sometimes you see a little gnat or bug in front of your face or in your peripheral vision and you swat at it...
Now imagine its your client and instead of swatting a gnat he's having a visual or auditory hallucination and totally creeping you out...
You know how sometimes people ask you questions you don't want to answer...
Now imagine its a teenage boy asking you if his antidepressant can make him impotent and he expects you to give him an answer...
Of course, some of my clients are VERY interesting...such as the ones whose street names begin with the word "crazy." As in Crazy Amy (*name has been changed to protect the innocent) and then they share why they are "crazy." And yes, yes they are crazy...as in knife you in an alley crazy.
Overall I LOVE my job...or at least I've had jobs I've loved...this job I like well enough, but don't think I would do it forever. I miss working with kids and adolescents too much to work with adults forever.
But I do wonder...why did I go to grad school? Surely there are better, more lucrative careers than this?
Monday, November 24, 2008
In honor of our weekend with Metros aka Our little boy is now a man
Current mood: happy
Thursday night our little Metros flew into town...and by flew, yes I mean flew as in on his cross country flight for pilot training for the Air Force. Paul went to go pick him up at the Valdosta Regional Airport and by airport I mean a shack sitting in the middle of a corn field. I stayed home. I'm sitting on the couch and someone repeatedly rings the doorbell. And in walks Metros...without Paul. It took me until Metros asked where Jojo was (our Boston terrier that Paul had brought with him) to realize that Paul was not with Metros so of course then I asked where Paul was. Apparently Metros ended up getting a ride and called Paul on his way so now Paul was on his way back home. The funniest was watching our 80lb. boxer run away in fear...guess we know who is NOT saving us during a home invasion. Some of Metros' friends came over (cute, young, and funny....like puppies you have to love them) and then they all went out to get food and us old folks went to bed.
Friday...I worked from 9:30am to 11:30am. And then the fireplace man came and hooked up our gas fireplace (is your home supposed to smell like gas????) and then I went scrapbooking with some friends while Paul worked late (oh how the times have changed...just as recently as 27 years old I could go out and drink and hang...). We met at home, ordered Chinese, Paul fell asleep on the couch by 9:30pm and I watched Kung Fu Panda (not a good movie FYI).
Saturday...we got up and ran errands...all day while we waited for Metros to return. Paul had decided to switch his cellular to Verizon and being stuck there asked me to go to pick Metros up at the shack/airport. I decide that I will also take Jojo. Jojo slips jumping into my car so I lean over to help him. As I reach to pick him up he jumps...RIGHT INTO MY NOSE. It was one of those immediate tears pouring out of my eyes kind of pains and yet my first thought was not to get blood on my Uggs (hey, they're expensive and I love them). I get an ice pack and proceed to drive to the airport with an icepack on my nose. I tried to barter with the IP...a ride to the hotel in exchange for a ride in the plane, but it didn't work.
I get Metros and drop his IP to the hotel. We head home to change, get Paul, and then we go to Texas Roadhouse where I demolished a 10 oz ribeye, baked potato, salad, roll, and some cheese fries (NOT as good as Outback cheese fries) and some wine. We then go to a bar downtown and I proceed to have a martini and 2 Blue Moons (yea Blue Moon) and a blueberry muffin...oh, 2 blueberry muffins (delic). The funniest was Metros' facial expression and contemplation of Chelsea's text "It's ok. Secrets are fun." We go home and I am asleep (passed out???) by midnight. I don't drink so much anymore.
Wake up a little sick to my stomach (and my nose still hurts), but rally enough to go to the Cracker Barrell for breakfast (mostly b/c I couldn't stand to miss out on hashbrown casserole) with Paul and Metros. We promise Metros that no matter where we live we'll always have a "Joey room" (reference Friends season 10, episode 14). Then pick up IP and take them back to airport. We decide to stick around to see Metros take off.
When we saw the plane my first exclamation was "Its so cute!" We sit on the curb and watch Metros and IP suit up and climb into the plane. Metros checked the flaps which made me laugh because it looked like a whale flapping his tail. Then Metros started the plane. A little word of warning...sitting behind a plane when the engine starts is not a good place to be sitting as things will quickly blow into your face.
Metros then begins to taxi out to the runway, and waves to us, and jerks the plane a little almost like me when I'm driving a stick shift. He then is going down the runway and we're waiting for him to take off, and waiting, and waiting, and wondering how long this runway is and then realize he's going to turn around and come back in the other direction.
So he's coming back and he takes off finally and as he goes by I start waving and it looked to me like he waved and then he waggled the wings at us which made me jump up and down in excitement and joy. Paul said he might not have done it on purpose, but I think he did (so Metros don't tell me if it wasn't on purpose, okay?).
And then we realized our little boy is now a man and I got a little teary eyed with pride.
And poor Chelsea had to stay home and go see Willie Nelson and miss out on all our fun. But we are super happy that we got to spend the weekend with our Metros and we miss Chelsea and Metros everyday.
And then we went home where I quickly fell into a couch coma, on my super comfy leather couch that has made its way back into the house from the storage unit, and I slept for over 2 hours.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Worrisome
Current mood:concerned
When someone you work with calls you and says:
Hey, our boss told me to call you and see if you'd come to a client's house with me. Well, the situation is that the client told the case manager to never set foot on their property again so boss wants me to go out and see if they tell me to leave. But I was told NOT to go to the house alone so boss told me to call you and see if you could go with me.
Um, really? What are you supposed to say to that? So although I wanted to say Hell no of course I said Okay, when?
So Monday is the big day to Naylor, GA. We all know how I cannot understand one word really country people say and this should be an interesting experience. Plus the country is scary. I already thought I saw the house they used in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie. Yikes!
Did I mention that the therapist I"m going with was the other person NOT given the correct address to a meeting we were both supposed to attend back over the summer so we ended up wandering around "downtown" Valdosta together?
Somehow I don't see this ending well. Perhaps that will be my 911 call for the day. Wish me luck!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
A normal day
Current mood: breezy
One of Paul's favorite questions to ask me is "Do you ever have a normal day?"
Hmmmm...well, that depends on what your definition of normal is.
A normal day to me is:
Enlisting the help of a sheriff deputy to help me fight off someone over a silent auction item.
Stopping traffic on a busy road to rescue a turtle.
Calling 911.
Having to get a snake out of the garage.
Getting my picture put on the front page of the newspaper.
Laughing hysterically over nothing.
Writing letters of complaint or concern to whoever needs them. FYI I did get a letter back from the Leon County Sheriff along with a copy of the police report. The "cop" who got in the fight...yeah, he works for Homeland Security. Do I dare?
Getting a letter in return from the White House regarding my concerns about Darfur.
Seeing people I know everywhere I go in Sarasota/Manatee, even in the most random places.
Defending the underdog.
I am sure there are a million other random things that are "normal" for me that I'm forgetting. What's y'all's favorite "normal" Jenn moment?
Thursday, November 13, 2008
*jazz hands* Just Jenn *jazz hands*
Current mood: sassy
It can't be good if you have a job that requires you to purchase and wear rubber gloves and you don't work in the medical field. I always said I would NEVER do drug testing (which involves urine if you aren't familiar and FYI my mantra is "urine is sterile") again and yet here I am...drug testing people...in south GA. Where I saw a man in camoflage (camouflage? camoflauge?) overalls at the Walmart on the same day I saw a woman DRIVING who had tics (involuntary muscle spasms) so bad she couldn't keep her hands on the steering wheel...through the Walmart parking lot of course.
So, I started to think of what else I'd like to be when I grow up and I realized that I may be destined to be like *Just Jack* from Will and Grace. I'll be *Just Jenn* and I'll go around and do meaningless things like
photography
write books
paint
take dance lessons
teach useless information to people
take yoga classes
meditate
recycle
and basically be fabulous
but earn no money (which really won't change from the earning no money that I don't earn now).
So now you know my new career path...Wish me luck!
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Phenix City, AL aka where white trash comes from
Current mood: bored
Paul and I got suckered into traveling to Phenix City, AL (which is really spelled Phenix) on Halloween to take his nieces trick or treating. I love Halloween. I love Halloween decorations, dressing up, passing out candy to little kids, dressing up my dogs, etc. This year...none of that happened!
This year my Halloween consisted of walking around in the dark and cold while his nieces rode on the back of a truck filled with hay driven by a man drinking a beer who couldn't figure out why we would decline to ride on said truck. I guess the important thing is that we were together and his nieces had a good time. And we got to make fun of people (more to come on you know you're too old to trick or treat when...).
Back to the Crappily Inn which had the audacity to call itself the Quality Inn. There wasn't anything quality about it. We checked in and were initially excited by the free breakfast buffet and having a drink at the bar after we were done ToT'ing.
We got to our room. The toilet wouldn't flush and almost overflowed. We leave to to ToT'ing. Get back about 9:30pm. I have a ton of work to do so I brought my laptop. I forgot my zantac, but I do have 2 rolaids. I finally finish working around 11:30pm and fall asleep about midnight.
12:38am Wake up with godawful heartburn. Feel like my chest is on fire. Want to die. Have to sleep sitting up.
2:30am Halloween party at the bar must have ended. All we hear is a guy yelling about needing beer and cigarettes. I immediately call the front desk to complain. She tells me security is on their way. Paul goes to the door, opens the door, and yells at them to be quiet. They throw things at our room. I am already on the phone with 911 and she informs me that the security guard had already called and an officer was on the way. I got to use my favorite southern phrase, "It's fixin to get ugly." Still have godawful heartburn and want to die. Was terrified that some drunk ass was going to break the window of our room and kill us.
8am Alarm goes off. Paul goes in and takes a shower. Tells me its not even worth it b/c the water hardly warmed up. Toilet still doesn't flush good. We leave without even our free breakfast and end up at McDonalds.
The best thing about the entire trip, besides spending time with Paul, was stopping at Mike's Melon Patch. They said they had a 200 lb pumpkin which I did not see, but I did get an entire stalk of cotton, 2 mini pumpkins, pumpkin butter, homemade dill pickles, tomatos, and a watermelon. I was super happy! Oh, and the Chevron country store which had mini pecan and sweet potato pies (which I bought for my dad b/c they were so cute and tiny and he likes that crap) and medicine for my still raging heartburn.
Now that my work is finished I'm off to shower finally.
Paul asked me if I ever have a normal day...I think a day for me wouldn't be normal if I didn't get to call 911 for something!
Friday, October 31, 2008
A University President, US Congressman, and VP of VSU Advancement walk into a football game...
Current mood: cold
And who is waiting to meet them...Jenn Grant! Through the Metro One group we belong to we got to attend the VSU President's hospitality tent at the VSU football game tonight. One of Paul's friend's asks us if we want to meet Jack...um, sure. Jack is Jack Kingston, US Congressman. We chat for a bit, get our picture taken.
Paul then wants to say hi to the VSU President, President Schloss. We had previously had dinner at his house with the ROTC Cadre and Cadets. He's talking to someone so we are patiently waiting, say hi to his wife, etc. Finally we get to say hi and we're chatting with him. The VP of University Advancement comes over and Paul introduces me to him and now the 4 of us are chatting. Jack comes over and now the 5 of us are talking and Pres. mentions something about having Jack walking the game ball out at the beginning of a football and VP says that maybe Jack would prefer to throw out the first pitch at a baseball fan b/c his website says he likes baseball.
Jack then tells us how he plays on the Congressional baseball team and invites us to see a game and what does Jenn say,
"I don't do baseball." And then I proceed to tell a US Congressman, VSU President, and VP of University Advancement how I got hit in the head with a baseball at a Cincinnati Reds game by Ken Griffey Junior. And they just stared at me. I thought Paul was going to have a stroke or tell them that I had special needs as an excuse.
As we walked out to the car I said, "Oh my god, I just told a US Congressman my baseball story. What is wrong with me?"
And that was what happens when a University President, US Congressman, and VP of University Advancement walk into a football game.
I guess its good that I'm pretty.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Texas sucks aka God did NOT bless Texas
Current mood: satisfied
Friday: Drive to Jacksonville in torrential downpour for 1pm flight. Arrive at airport at 11:45am. ETA Dallas 4:37pm (central). Flight delayed till 2:33pm. Eat lunch at Chili's. Board plane. In the middle of the flight a giant ass spider comes down from the overhead bins over the row in front of us. Whereas I would have flown out of my seat and been in the cockpit if it was me under the spider, the man very calmly took a magazine page, reached up, and squished it with the paper. He then said, "Did you see that?" Fly to ATL. Have to fly through storm over ATL. Extremely turbulent. Hit an air pocket. Plane DROPS several thousand feet. Still turbulent. I cry in my seat and pray for a safe landing. Paul holds my very sweaty hand. Try not to throw up. NOT supposed to get off the plane in ATL. Told to get off the plane. Told by Delta rep to go to gate B12. Get to B12. The plan we were supposed to be on just took off. Delta rep tells us to go to gate B21 and walks away in the middle of a conversation. Go to B21. Huge line to speak to Delta rep. I wait in line. Paul calls Delta. He finds out we are on a 5:21 flight that was delayed until 8:20pm. at gate T1. Go to gate T1. Delta rep tells us she won't be open for an hour and then restates 5 minutes. We wait. She tells us she can't answer our questions until she opens; however, another gentleman of the same race as the Delta rep comes over and she has ZERO problem answering his questions. Paul asks to talk to a manager. She says the manager is on her way. 20 minutes later manager arrives and leaves without talking to Paul. Paul is supremely pissed. Needless to say Delta WILL be getting a nasty letter about their LACK of customer service. Given the 4 hours we spent at the Atlanta airport I got to use 2 seperate restrooms and both times men walked into the women's restroom while I was in there. Have dinner at a Mexican restaurant (and the only sit down restaurant in T terminal). Finally get to board the plane to Dallas. Have an uneventful flight to Dallas. Surprisingly our luggaage arrives on the same plane we do. Arrive too late for the hotel shuttle to come pick us up. Take a taxi to hotel. Check in at 11pm. Chelsea and George want us to wait up for them to arrive so we can hang out. Their ETA is 12:30am. I am asleep by 11:15pm. I'm old.
Saturday: Wake up. Miss hotel breakfast. Head over to IHOP with Paul, Chelsea, and George. Eat breakfast at the nicest IHOP I've ever seen. Yea for coffee! Decide to go see where JFK was shot. Listen to some very interesting conspiracy theorists. While we are wandering around the Grassy Knoll as in THE Grassy Knoll see a giant beach ball in the distance in the middle of downtown Dallas. What do you do when you see a giant beach ball off in the distance? You go check it out...duh! Tell Paul its only like 3 blocks...yeah, it was like 15 blocks. But the giant beach ball was b/c they were filming a Carnival Cruiseline commercial. Watched that for a little bit. Have to walk the 15 blocks back. Decide to go play mini golf. First stop for chips, salsa and margaritas. Yummo! Find mini golf place...its like a whole fun center. Play 18 holes of mini golf...final score: George 45, Chelsea 46, Jenn 47, Paul 48. Chelsea scored 13 over par on the front nine and got 4 holes in one on the back nine. Next up...laser tag. 1st place: George, 2nd place: Jenn, 3rd place: Paul, last place: Chelsea. There was some very competititve little girls inside laser tag with us who would essentially chase us individually around the building shooting us in the back. Apparently they grew up in the ghetto and had some street skills. I guess I'm just glad they didn't have real guns. On to go-karts. We got in the cars George, Chelsea, me, and Paul. I quickly passed Chelsea and Paul passed me. Then everyone else passed me b/c I had the SLOWEST car ever (thanks purple 1 car). Slow as in I never caught up with anyone and they changed the light to red just after I passed the car pit so I had to drive around the ENTIRE track while everyone else was already back inside the pit waiting for me. However, we did go-kart with some very scary looking gang bangers. We return to the hotel and shower and walk over to Bennihana's which was next to our hotel. It's like a 45 minute wait (thank god for our 4pm snack of chips & salsa) so we find seats at the bar where Chelsea got to order a drink (yea for finally being 21!) and I told the hostess it was her birthday. Hehe! We end up sitting with (get this) 2 other couples and here is where it gets weird. Both couples were interracial couples (black chick, white guy), 1 man (the obnoxious one) was former Navy and the other man (super nice) was in the Air Force (as are Paul and George). It was obnoxious guy, his date, Chelsea, George, Paul, me, Air Force guy, his wife (who was former Air Force). Chelsea/George, Me/Paul, and Air Force/wife all ordered the same meals (half sushi and half Rocky's choice combo) and then shared our meals. It was like complete bizzaro world. So we finished dinner and said goodnight to our companions and then the 4 of us decided to go get some beer and go back to the hotel and play cards. Apparently I booked us a hotel in a dry county b/c no where in our county sold alcohol (how does that even happen) so we stopped at a gas station and Chelsea & I went in to ask for directions to a liquor store. Bad idea b/c I stopped paying attention as soon as the guy started talking and Chelsea got the 1st 2 roads right but could only come up with something West highway for the 3rd. We stop at another gas station and George goes in and is given directions to Northwest Highway. Northwest Highway must be the road to Atlantas b/c we could not find it to save our lives, not even with the TomTom. We FINALLY find a liquor store and it had closed 5 MINUTES BEFORE WE GOT THERE. Up the road is another one...also closed. Did I mention its only like midnight? So we called it a night and went to bed.
Sunday: Wake up at 8:30am. Have breakfast at the hotel. Leave at 9:15am. Go to Walmart to get disposable grill so we can tailgate. No disposable grills. Go to Subway. Have to wait for Subway to open (10am). Get subs. Go to get beer so we can tailgate with our Subway. Back to the mythical Northwest Highway. Find a gas station. No beer sales until 12pm. Go to liquor store. Not open. Give up on tailgating idea. Drive to stadium and SIT in traffic within sight of Texas Stadium for an hour. Eat our subs in the car on the highway. Have to park 8 miles away from the stadium in a $30 lot. Walk the 8 miles to the stadium past the industrial area (mmmm...smells good). Hike up the stairs to the top of the stadium and our seats. Watch a horrible game (stupid Bucs), but I did get cotton candy which might have been my favorite part of the game. Decide to stay in the stands until its less crowded. Take pictures. I find the trashiest woman in the stadium to take our group picture (think tight jeans, lots of make up, cleavage, and hot pink fake nails). Walk the 8 miles back to the car with 60,000 other people (think cattle call). Wait at the car until traffic starts lessening. Drive back to area near hotel. Put directions into TomTom for Cheddar's restaurant. End up in another industrial area (good job TomTom). Finally find restaurant. Eat dinner (George and Paul order the exact same meal b/c they are soulmates and Chelsea & I order the exact same meal b/c we are the same). Chelsea and George drop us off and leave to drive back to Enid and Paul and I have sat on our asses for the past 5 hours. Being with Chelsea and George is like being with a younger version of us as a couple...its bizarro (bizzaro????, bizaro????).
And of course there were the countless "special" moments that occurred or words that were said over the course of the weekend.
Monday: Fly back to Jacksonville and then drive back to Valdosta. Hopefully the return flight is better and neither of us is arrested by the TSA for disorderly conduct.
One final word...Texas SUCKS. I am so NOT impressed. It's a lot of driving to get anywhere, you can't find anything, they killed JFK, no alcohol, and people here appear to be crazy. I can see how the Bush family is from this NOT great state. But we did have a fun weekend. Pics to follow.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Weirdos in the GA
Current mood: blissful
Today I went to one house that should have been condemned due to a rampant outbreak of a terrible cold...I finally had to tell my clients they were grossing me out and leave.
Which then took me down to Lake Park, GA and having to sit outside in 50 degree weather while visiting my clients with their case manager who spit the entire time while fighting off their new puppy and trying to keep their 2 year old from kicking it to death.
Which then took me to try and remember how to take the back roads home without my Magellan which led me to a stop sign and a choosing to turn left b/c I had no idea where I was which led to a woman turning left onto my road and almost hitting my car which led to me looking at her, throwing up my hands, and giving her the "what the hell" look which led to her driving past me, stopping, and BACKING HER CAR UP! Are you f'ing kidding me? Luckily there was a break in traffic and I quickly pulled out onto the other road b/c (A) she looked crazy, (B) I was afraid she might have a gun (being that we are in south GA during hunting season), and (C) did I mention she looked crazy?
Which led me to stopping at Walgreens which led to me lucking into getting a flu shot.
And now I am enjoying Grey's Anatomy and about to eat a chocolate chip cookie!
Friday, October 24, 2008
My new job
Current mood: excited
I love spa treatments and I have fallen in love with BeautiControl products...so much so that I recently became a BeautiControl Consultant. The products are amazing...they smell good, feel good, and will make YOU feel pampered and relaxed...in the privacy of your own home. What could be better than that?
Take a look at my page, www.beautipage.com/JennGrant. There are specials all the time and with the holidays coming up what better way to show your loved ones how much you truly appreciate all they do? Ladies, feel free to make a wish list and forward this to your significant other...every girl deserves to be pampered by her man! Or order something special for yourself. Gentlemen, what a great way to celebrate all that your women do for you!
You can order direclty from my page or email me your order and I'll place it for you. Let me know how I can help...and enjoy your spa day!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Some random things
Current mood: sleepy
Paul and I took a massage class weekend...it rocked! It was massage for couples and it was us, 2 other couples, and the teacher. Plus one of the other woman in the class just moved over here from Germany and she doesn't have any friends either so we exchanged phone numbers. She did call me and I need to call her back.
Has anyone ever watched Hannah Montana? It is surprisingly good. I don't really understand what its about with her being famous, but no one knowing Miley and Hannah are the same person (apparently she is surrounded by the stupidest people on the planet). I used to secretly watch it at night when Paul was asleep, but he found me out and now makes fun of me. However, I have been recently disappointed b/c they've aired the same 1 episode 4 times in the last week.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta...does anyone realize that the one white chick on the show is actually a man? I watched this last night for the first time and it was quite clear to me that she was a he. It's funny to me how each geographical area fits the stereotype of people living in that area (Orange County, NY, Atlanta).
Oh, and did I mention that I passed my LCSW exam? That's right...I rock!
Monday, October 20, 2008
Dog rescue
Current mood: bored
I am an animal lover. I cannot stand for people to mistreat animals (reference the numerous letters I sent to various companies regardng Michael Vick and his atrocities). My friend is also an animal lover and she rescued, aka stole, a dog she found wandering her neighborhood that she felt her neighbor was mistreating (and the dog aka Lil Dude now belonds to my sister).
Saturday Paul was at work and I slept in, woke up, decided to go get some coffee at a drive thru coffe place. Since I did not believe I'd be getting out of the car I wore...well, let's just say Clinton and Stacy would be SOOOO disappointed.
As I get to the end of our street I see 3 dogs and it looks like they just came out of the backyard of the house on the corner. I know these people have dogs and their gate to their yard is open so I stop and walk up to the door. Knock, ring the door bell. A man comes to the door, but won't open it so now I'm yelling at him through the window about his dogs. Turns out they weren't his dogs.
Continue through the neighborhood and come upon the 3 dogs and stop my car hoping as I get out that I don't get bit. Did I mention the one dog was a GREAT DANE? All 3 come over, but the only one I can grab is of course the great dane. I'm standing in the street, cell phone in one hand, great dane in the other, trying to read the number off his tag and dial it into my phone. And I'm thinking "How in the hell am I going to get this thing in the back of my car?"
I finally manage that and of course the person who answers is Chinese as in English as a second language, can barely understand him, Chinese. I tell him I have his dog and he needs to come pick it up. Have you ever held a great dane by the collar? They lean against you....like a brick house.
Now I'm chillaxing on the side of the main street in our hood holding a great dane by the collar and a girl is out for her morning jog and comes over b/c she recognizes this dog who I find out is named Maverick, but the Chinese woman calls Marvin b/c she can't say Maverick. She tries to help read the tags off the other two dogs, but they ran away. Now remember I have on my questionable outfit and she looks cute and perky from jogging and we're standing on the side of the road.
Then we see another girl riding towards us on a bike. It's Maverick's owner, the daughter of the Chinese man and guess what...the two girls KNOW each other. And jogging girl chastises Chinese girl for losing her dog. So, they are catching up on old times and I'm still standing outside in my outfit waiting for a break in the conversation so I can leave.
Finally it happens and I make my escape to coffee...45 minutes after I left the house.
When I told Paul what happens he says, "That house on the corner?" Yes. "That's where the drug dealer lives." Hmmm, perhaps that explains why he wouldn't open the door because law enforcement often wear ill-fitting white tank tops with built in bras, blue jersey shorts with white stripes, and pink fuzzy slippers without brushing their hair when they are about to bust someone for drug possession.
And why does my friend get to find a chihuahua (Lil Dude) and I find a freakin great dane?
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Clay Gaiken
"Yes, I'm Gay" and I have to ask
Was there any person in the world who was surprised when Clay Aiken announced in People magazine that he was gay? I mean really? I think someone would have to be deaf and blind to not realize he was gay.
So, Gay I mean Clay...we're very happy that you decided to come out of the closet, but I hate to tell you...you were in a glass closet....we all already knew you were gay.
I hope the poor Claymates weren't too stunned by his news....I mean all those romantic love ballads that he constantly sings didn't give anything away, nor his lack of dating, or his hair (although gay men usually have much better hair than Clay so maybe that was his attempt at being a straight man)...
Rock on Clay, rock on.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Netherworld (www.fearworld.com)
Current mood: awake
Paul and I are in ATL for a conference...okay, he's at the conference and I am studying for a test which so far has consisted of breakfast while reading a romance novel, studying at the pool watching everyone else who comes to the pool at a hotel in the daytime in the middle of the week, studying in our room, lunch with Paul, study, work out, study, dinner, relax.
Last night we decided to go to a haunted house called Netherworld. When I looked at the website I read people's reviews which were along the lines of "scariest thing I've ever seen, thought I was safe in the parking lot...I was wrong."
We had over there about 8:15pm (how come everything in ATL takes 45 minutes to get to) and you have to go down this hill to get your tickets. Down the hill, buy the tickets, back up the hill to the entrance. As we start walking up the hill there is this bald clown coming towards us holding these weird baby dolls...creepy. I see the clown. I see him walking towards us. I still scream when he jumps at me. We continue up the hill. As we pass by this group on teens this guy jumps out at us...you know that commercial for wood floors where the Boston terrier puppy pees on the floor while the family is watching the scary movie...that was me...peeing on myself in the parking lot.
We get in line and there is no one else in line. The guy at the door asks if we want to wait for another group and I say um, hell yea plus I am finding it hard to breath from the walk up the hill and the peeing on myself. Finally another couple comes along and the 4 of us go in together.
Imagine going into a haunted house that is almost completely pitch black...that was this one (and anyone who knows me knows how much I hate the dark...I carrying a flashlight EVERYWHERE for god's sake). It started Paul, me, girl, boy. The girl has her hands on my shoulders. And every once in awhile you'd go through a curtain into a room that had 5 other curtains to choose from. One curtain leads you out, other curtains had things behind them. At some point we ended up guy, girl, me, Paul. This girl is lucky that she wasn't carrying me. I couldn't have been any closer to her if I had been on her back. Then there was the hall of mirrors...us, mirrors, and a scary person also in the mirrors with us so you could see this scary person, but not tell where the hell he was.
And it was LONG! We went through a tube on a walkway and the room revolved around the walkway...the whole time I'm thinking "Please don't let me throw up, please don't let me throw up." It was the kind where you think the walkway is also tilting to the side so you walk through desperately holding onto the rails. I was completely dizzy when we got out. I had a sweatshirt on when we started and I was so scared and sweaty that I made this other couple stop in the middle of the haunted house so I could take off my sweatshirt.
The funniest was the guy, being that he was in front, peeking through a curtain and saying "Oh shit, there's 5 other curtains in there" or "Hell no, hell no." And someone the girl and guy switched places at one point and my lack of pride and complete shame allowed me to grab the guy as much as I had the girl (I think I accidentally ripped out one of her earrings at one point). Plus there were a lot of special effects and animated creatures which were just as scary as the actors. There was this T-Rex head that came out of the wall so far that Paul and I got seperated by it and I screamed. It was awesome!
It was the scariest haunted house I've ever been in.
Then we went into the other haunted house there. It was a lot shorter, but there was this one room where the walls were covered in cockroaches. They had a strobe light so it looked like the roaches were moving and then they had things falling on you from the ceiling so it felt like cockroaches were falling on you. I HATE cockroaches. In one room we had to go around this dead horse hanging from the ceiling and this guy jumps out from the other side holding a machete...even Paul screamed. In that house we went in with teens behind us. I am surprised the girl behind me did not knock me over or cause me to go deaf she was screaming in my ear so much. I have bruises from her holding onto my shoulders so hard. I think she thought I was joking when I said to them "Now make sure y'all stay close," but she was close enough to accidentally grab my ponytail at one point.
I may have had a mild heart attack last night. But damn it was fun!
Okay, back to studying.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Is blogging arrogant?
Current mood: blissful
I was reading a blog the other day that was very personal and I thought "Well, that's arrogant. Why does he/she think anyone cares about his/her past?" (Obviously its not someone who subscribes to MY blog...lol) But then I realized how many personal blogs I've written and it did make me wonder "How arrogant is it to assume that people give two shits about anything that goes on in my life?"
That being written...here is an entire quiz devoted to ME:
1)Do you always answer your phone?
No, sometimes I don't feel like chatting.
2) Its four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it? It better be someone who's dying b/c it's 4 in the morning...I'm in a relationship now so no one sends me middle of the night texts anymore.
3) If you could change your eye color what would it be? My eyes ROCK...seriously, they are like my favorite feature.
4) What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? Sonic is GROSS
5)Do you own a digital camera? several
6)Have you ever had a pet fish? Yes, and Paul has 2 giant tanks..yea.
7) Favorite Christmas song? ALL of them
8) What's on your wish list for your birthday? a baby
9) Can you do push ups? not if you had a gun to my head
10) Can you do a chin up? um, reference 9 and assume NOT
11)Does the future make you more nervous or excited? both
12) Do you have any saved texts? Who are they from and what do they say? used to, not so much anymore, sometimes romantic ones from Paul
13) Ever been in a car wreck? just fender benders
14) Do you have an accent? no
15) What is the last song to make you cry? that Carrie Underwood one where the 18 year old girl's soldier boyfriend dies and she goes to church and gets his flag
16) Plans tonight? we went out to dinner
17)Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? no
18) Name 3 things you bought yesterday? what was yesterday?
19) Have you ever been given roses? yes
20) Current worry? money, money, money
21) Current hate right now? hmmm...there's so many to choose from
22) Met someone who changed your life? absolutely
23) How did you bring in the New Year? deathly ill and asleep alone
24) What song represents you? Depends on the day
25) Name three people who might complete this? Karin, Breun, ???
26) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? not really
27) Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? Yes and fingers crossed
28) Do you have any tattoo/piercing? several tats and ears pierced
29) Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now? God (and Paul) willing
30) Does anyone love you? I have no doubt
31) Would you be a pirate? Absolutely
32) What songs do you sing in the shower? Usually I make up my own
33) Ever had someone sing to you? Paul--all the time
34) When did you last cry? not that long ago
35) What is in your pocket? nothing, my fat prevents it
36)Do you like to cuddle? yes
37)Have you held hands with anyone today? not today
38)Who was the last person you took a picture of? Paul and my girlfriends
39)What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school? Michael Jackson?
40) How many TVs do you have in your house? 4
41) Are most of the friends in your life new or old? both
42)Do you like pulpy orange juice? uh, no
43)What is something your friends make fun of you for? EVERYTHING
44) Have you ever ridden an elephant? yes
45)Do you like to play Scrabble? its okay
46) What are you saving your money up for right now? Um, I work part time so there is no money leftover for saving
47) When is the last time you ate peanut butter and jelly? who knows
48) What song do you want played at your funeral? Cupid shuffle
49) What were you doing 12 AM last night? sleeping
50) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Oh shit, I'm supposed to meet Sheila for coffee in 20 minutes............................................oh wait, it's Thursday
Thursday, October 09, 2008
The Ex List
Current mood: loved
The Ex List is a new show on Friday nights (um, hello, worst time slot ever b/c I'm not 13 anymore, but thank god for DVR). The premise is that this woman takes her sister to a psychic as part of her sister's bachelorette party and the psychic basically tells this woman that she's already met the man she is supposed to marry, but if they don't marry before a year then she'll die alone.
Now, if I had to choose between hunting down my exes to find "the one" or dying alone...I'm pretty sure I'm choosing dying alone. Considering before Paul the best relationship I had was when I was 16 and my high school sweetheart...let's just say it was slim pickings. In fact I've decided to give you an enjoyable little recap of that pile-o-crap that is my past romantic history:
Danny--high school sweetheart, happily married to a wonderful woman
Paul--kissed a girl on the beach that he met at a night club..I kissed a guy I met at camp...he thought we should stay together b/c our cheating cancelled each other out
Todd--went on a date with a girl I went to high school...while we were still dating...luckily another girl saw them, and came up to me at school, and asked when we had broken up
Tom--aka "psychotic stalker exboyfriend" which is what we called him when he stalked me after we broke up and the school and police had to get involved
Brad--fairly certain that he slept with his exgirlfriend...while we were dating b/c she spent the night at his house one night when he had a party and came into his room and told him she still loved him in the middle of the night...this did not stop me from MOVING TO OH to be with him after graduation
Todd--exhusband
Mike--dated my friend Amanda...and me...at the same time
Billy--crazy, couldn't commit to me, but had no problem committing to my BFF who he met at my housewarming party. No, they are not still together and yes, we are still BFF
Gay man--he didn't realize he was gay...he was the only one who didn't
Jay--alcoholic
Fireman--dumped me for being too intelligent and too attractive
Prosecutor--has made a much better friend than boyfriend
Greg--douchebag who stole $1100 dollars from me and slept with me after we broke up and after he had a new girlfriend...who he forgot to tell me about
Yes, if those are my choices then I'm choosing dying alone b/c I have no desire to go back down that road. I feel like I've dated a lot more than that...perhaps "dating" is a strong word for some of my "relationships."
Luckily I met Paul and he has made me the happiest I've ever been. I look at him everyday and just love him...even when I want to hit him with a frying pan. He is my sandhill crane. :)
Monday, October 06, 2008
Laser Hair Removal and the things we do for beauty
Current mood: bored
I am OBSESSED with laser hair removal. You do not even want to know how much I've spent total on these procedures...let's just say it has caused my debt to go up significantly. Although I do draw the line at lasering off the hair on my arms b/c that just looks weird so I think I'm done.
The thing about laser hair removal is that IT FREAKIN HURTS! They say its like getting snapped by a rubber band. I am hear to tell you that they LIE. Maybe if the rubber band was pulled back from 50 feet away and had needles coming out of it.
It all started with my mom wanting to get her underarms done, but not wanting to get them done by herself. She offered to pay for mine as a birthday present. Um, never having to shave again...let's roll.
First time...not so bad. Second time...imagine having to listen to me "Are you done yet? Are you done yet?" until you've finished b/c I thought it was excrutiating (oh, if I had known the pain to come).
The pain still did not stop me from getting my bikini area done b/c hey I lived in FL at the time and bathingsuits are pretty much year round. Holy mother of god. There are some things that are best left unlasered. Childbirth can not hurt any worse than using a laser on your area. One time I had to ask her to turn the radio up b/c it hurt so bad I couldn't be quiet.
On to the legs...you know what your legs have that your area doesn't...THIN SKIN! Now keep in mind that you can order numbing cream, but numbing cream does not work when they crank the laser up enough to power the space shuttle. One time I couldn't feel my legs for 3 weeks afterwards. I actually went to my doctor b/c I thought I had MS. He assured me that I did not have MS, but perhaps I should lay off the laser hair removal. Um, Doc...A) I already paid up front for this shit, B) my legs still have hair on them. I had another session on Saturday (b/c you have to go multiple times) and she had the laser on mock 5.
There is not enough numbing cream in the world to stop that pain. Actual tears came from my eyes when she did my feet. I sweated through the paper covering on the bed. I thought knifes were going into my skin when she did my shins. And I ended up with some very attractive burn marks. Paul said it looks like I have scales b/c they are half moon marks.
All this b/c I'm too lazy to shave. Nice, huh?
But I will say...not having to shave ROCKS!!!!
Thursday, October 02, 2008
My letter to the Leon County Sheriff
Current mood: accomplished
October 2, 2008
Sheriff Larry Campbell
Leon County Sheriff's Office
P.O. Box 727
Tallahassee, FL 32302
Dear Sheriff Campbell,
On September 13, 2008 I attended the Florida State University vs. Chattanooga game at Doak Campbell Stadium in Tallahassee, FL with my boyfriend. Immediately upon arriving at our seats in the stands two men approximately 3 rows in front of us stood up and began arguing with each other. Within a minute of them rising man A punched man B in the face. Man B then fell backwards over a row upon which man A jumped on top of him and continued to beat him. Man B did not appear to be fighting back and was only minimally able to defend himself. It took several men to pull man A off of man B.
Once the men were separated man A at once began telling everyone around that he was a cop. He even came up several rows to our seats to tell us that he was a cop. Our response was that he should've known better than to get into a fight at a football game then.
At this point two Leon County Sheriff Deputies arrived with one deputy going off with man A and his son and the other going with man B. The deputy that had questioned man A, the cop, came back and began asking questions of the incident. We stated that man A had thrown the first punch. My boyfriend stated that he should not be given preferential treatment because he said he was a cop.
Approximately 30 minutes man A and his son were allowed to return to the stands while man B was not. The deputy who had originally questioned us returned to take down the names/addresses of the witnesses. He took down my information, but refused to take down my boyfriend's information. Your deputy refused to provide his name and badge number. We questioned as to why the men were treated unfairly and his response was that man B had said something rude to man A's son, who was approximately 10 to 12 years old. Your deputy gave us the impression that man A was justified in attacking man B because of a rude comment made by man B.
We then asked for the case number. The deputy ripped a small (1/2" by 1") square piece of paper and illegibly wrote down the case number, tearing a hole in the paper as he wrote down the number. I believe the case number is 9223300 or 9223200.
I wanted to write this to express my concerns to you. I have worked with law enforcement in various capacities due to my job as a social worker. My father was in law enforcement and I have several friends who are deputies for the Sarasota County Sheriff Department. I have always held law enforcement in the highest esteem; however, was disgusted by the actions of your deputy that day and by man A, who wasted no time telling everyone he was a cop. I believe his actions should be reported to his superior office because as a cop he should know better and he should set an example to the general public.
I am sure as the Sheriff of Leon County that you provide excellent training and resources to your officers. I believe you need to know when the actions of one reflect poorly on your organization.
I would like to request that a copy of the police report be mailed to me at the above address or sent via email to .
I thank you for your time and attention in this matter.
Sincerely,
Jennifer Grant
Thursday, October 02, 2008
TLC (for Karin)
Current mood: bouncy
Who watches TLC? I LOVE Jon and Kate Plus 8 (in a way that tempts me to send them birthday and Christmas gifts). Have you seen the other shows they have on now? 17 and Counting AND Kids by the Dozen are shows I saw for the first time last week and let me just say OMG!
First off...did anyone see the expressions on the older kids faces when mom announced on the Today Show that she was prego with her 18th baby. I am sure they were thinking "Are you fucking kidding me? Hasn't she gone through menopause yet?" I mean she is 41 years old! How on earth do they pay for all these kids?
And have you noticed that all these people who have umpteen billion children are all very religious? If you look at their family websites all they talk about is how much they love God. I'm all for God, but if I have 17 + kids I'm going to be praying that he kills me, not that he gives me more babies.
Kids by the Dozen...They have 13 kids and survive on $40,000 a year. They spend less on weekly groceries than Paul and I do. People just drop clothes and stuff off on their porch. Its like they are their own Salvation Army drop off site.
And why do all these procreators live in backass nowhere? I guess living in backass nowhere gives a person lots of time to procreate because there isn't anything else to do...sort of like Valdosta.
On a recreational note...I have worked out for the past 3 days...whoohooo!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
The gym and Kim Kardashian
Current mood: exhausted
Watching Dancing with the Stars and Kim Kardashian makes me a little envious of her body...if I looked like her I'd be naked all the time. Although I guess she kind of is naked all the time. Trying to explain why her family is famous to Paul was like trying to explain quantum physics to a 1st grader...nearly impossible. :) I will agree that there is NO reason under the sun that this family should be famous b/c all they've done is trashy things (I guess minus Bruce Jenner's athleticisim and 100% of the time I feel sorry for him for getting involved with these wackos).
In my attempts to look less like I'm 6 months pregnant and more like Kim K. I actually made it to the gym today. I went to Ladies Workout Express which is similar to a Curves. As the 20 year old was showing me around the equipment I thought "How hard can this be?" Holy mother of god. I'd completed 40 seconds on a step (like a step aerobics step), 40 seconds on the thigh adductor/abductor, and 40 seconds of jogging in place and thought I was having a heart attack which was further supported by the extreme amounts of sweat pouring down my body and my sudden inability to breathe properly. By the third row of the circuit I was fairly certain my legs were going to refuse to cooperate anymore. Even better about every third set of 40 seconds the announcer would say, "Switch machines. Reverse" meaning you had to go backwards one set again. Really? Really?
It was the longest 30 minutes of my life. But I did convince myself to do an additional 15 minutes on the elliptical and Paul and I took the dogs on a mile long walk tonight.
Kim Kardashian you're gonna have some competition biatch!
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Jennifer Grant MSW
Current mood: grateful
I had to write about myself for my job's website. Here is what I wrote:
Jennifer Grant MSW
I became a social worker by accident. I graduated from Rollins College with a BA in psychology and got a job as an office manager in Cincinnati, OH. I HATED it, but I wanted to stay in Cincinnati. I put out a plea to my sorority (Kappa Delta) alumnae online newsletter asking if anyone had any job openings and immediately got an email from a KD. She stated that she worked for the state of KY and an office in Northern KY was hiring for both investigators and ongoing social workers. I applied, accepted the job as an ongoing worker, and never looked back.
I stayed there almost 3 years before moving back down to Sarasota, FL. In my time in Sarasota I worked as an academic instructor providing behavior modification at an alternative school for students who were expelled from public school, was a case manager in the child welfare system, and worked as a clinician providing outpatient drug treatment primarily to adolescents and their parents. I also worked part time co facilitating group counseling through Teen Court and provided drug screening to the Sheriff Department's Camp Xrayd (Examining Reality about Your Decisions)—a juvenile diversion program that partnered with Teen Court. Through all this I also worked towards and received my Master of Social Work. Once I finished my MSW I got a job as a school social worker at a school for pregnant and parenting teens which I loved. Unfortunately my job was cut as part of a $32 million budget cut within our school district.
And that is how I ended up here. My boyfriend is in the Air Force and stationed at VSU providing instruction for the ROTC program. I think I continue to work as a social worker because I genuinely want people to have better lives, make positive changes, and to feel that I've made a difference in the world. I have met amazingly wonderful people along my journey, but they aren't people that the world would look at that way. I want all the families I work with to know that they can make changes in their lives if they want to and that they mattered in this world because they mattered to me. The best gifts I've ever gotten have not been expensive jewelry or fancy things, but rather it's been the Christmas card from a mom thanking for me for all my help, given to me as she finished signing away parental rights to her two children. It's been the scarf and gloves bought at the dollar store, but the family was so proud to give me a gift. It's a tiny ceramic angel given by a mom when her 2 year old son was returned home. It's a teenager who stopped smoking pot, graduated high school, and went on to fire school. It's a letter from a teenager while she was at residential drug treatment thanking me and telling me that she now wanted to do what I do. It's a hand made birthday card from my class. It's a scrapbook of a student and her baby, telling me that she is going to miss her "mom" and that "my grandbaby" loves me.
I guess those are all the things to motivate me to keep going, even when it's hard. The people I've gotten to work with and will work with in the future are why I'm a social worker.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Facing the future or a conversation taking a bad left turn
Current mood: grateful
I like to call and check on my parents. My mom lives alone with her viscious dogs (you know the kind where if you died suddenly when someone found you the dogs would've eaten half your face) and my dad lives with his girlfriend except she travels for work occassionally. I like to check and make sure everything is okay and that they are both still kickin'.
My mom you can get away with a relatively quick conversation. She doesn't really do much so after she tells you what she watched on Oprah or Dr. Phil and something funny the satan dogs did you're pretty much done. My dad on the other hand...well, he likes to recap every single second of his entire day (which since my friend's dad died last fall I mind much less b/c now I understand how much I'm going to miss those conversations someday).
My dad's friend died suddenly last week. He was 50 years old and they found him dead one morning. My dad had lunch with him 3 or 4 days before he died. Tonight we're going through his usual what I did today stuff and he starts to tell me about the dermatologist. You know how doctors wear white lab coats...apparently they are also known as "schmocks" according to my dad. Um, dad do you mean smock? Then he goes into how he's had this growth on the back of his leg for the last 3 or 4 months and the doctor looks at it and says "You have cancer." Or at least she is pretty sure. She took a biopsy, scheduled him for surgery for Oct. 8th to remove the entire surrounding area on his leg. Not sure how much area this includes, but dad did not seem concerned.
But then he goes into his will, and being the executor, and how he wants everything divided, and how he wants to be cremated, and then he wants to keep his ashes until my mother dies and we all know she wants to be cremated so then he wants me to mix his ashes in with her ashes and then do with them what I want.
33 minutes later and I am crying hysterically as I relay all this overwhelming info to Paul and Paul says, "Does your dad realize you are going to be incapable of doing this because you'll be in an institution when he dies?"
I HATE to think of the day when my parents aren't here. I have already been to therapy to attempt to deal with this issue. Didn't work. Luckily I have Paul now who truly understands that I probably will have to spend some time in the hospital when that sad day comes.
It seems to me that life passes too fast sometimes. You find people and places that you love, that feel like home and all of the sudden they're not in your life for whatever reason (reference Cyesis and how I still get teary eyed every time one of my former students makes a comment on myspace, or emails me, or calls me). It doesn't seem fair. But it is life, I guess, and life goes on whether we like it or not. We are lucky in that we get the choice in how appreciative of that life we are...
Monday, September 15, 2008
I LOVE my job aka why I believe in gun control laws
Current mood: adventurous
I get 2 referrals over the weekend to go drug test 2 people today (FYI when I quit my job as a drug counselor in FL I said I would NEVER do drug testing again...stupid universe). Of course the one referral the case manager wants to go, too, and of course it's now 2:15pm and I haven't heard from the case manager all day. The second one is the same case manager, she doesn't want to go on this one, and the referral says "Client becomes violently angry when using substances." Um, ok.
I call the client and she seems nice on the phone and I go out to her house. Find the house and this older man comes to the door and lets me in and she's there and she says, "Do you want to sit in the living room or in my bedroom?" And I say bedroom because of confidentiallity and all that and she says, "What, are you afraid of black men? You don't want to sit in the living room with them."
Surprisingly we develop a good rapport and she says she hopes I do all her drug tests (yeah me) because she can tell I'm cool. I collect my hair follicle sample and get the urine sample, finish up my paperwork, and she walks me out...into a livingroom full of black men (and I'm not talking 1 or 2, try like 6 or 7) at which point she says, "She doesn't like black men."
So, I kind of laugh and say, "She's terrible, isn't she?" And they all kind of chuckle, and then she says, "Don't worry. They don't like white women, except him. He likes white women" and she points at this guy and he says, "Hi white woman." I wish them all a very nice day and get in my car to leave.
I'm driving down the street and 3 houses up there is a ford explorer with 2 guys sitting in it, one up front in the drivers seat and one in the back behind the drivers seat. The guy in the backseat (I shit you not)
IS HOLDING A GUN. Just chillaxing in his car...WITH A GUN.
So, I proceed to call 911 because really, what good can come of sitting in your car, next to the road, door open, holding a gun?
Of course I have to ask the 911 dispatcher to please tell the police to say they were just driving by and not that someone called because I am a social worker and will probably have to go back into this neighborhood and I'm fairly certain they probably would've figured out who called if the cop says someone called.
And both my other clients cancelled their appointments, but at least I'll get caught up on paperwork (as soon as my heart beat returns to normal).
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Our trip to Tally and cops who are crooked
Current mood: lazy
Paul and I went to the FSU game yesterday (46 to 7 thank you very much). As soon as we get there and climb the mile up to our seats we see these 2 guys about 3 rows in front of us stand up. And all of the sudden the 1 guy punches the other guy and basically attacks him! Now the two guys are on the ground between the benches and the one guy is going nuts. It took like 3 guys to pull him off. As soon as the fight breaks up the aggressor comes over and says, "I'm a cop." Paul and I were like "Dude, you're a jackass. We don't really care. The fact that you're a cop and fighting in front of your son only makes it worse. You should know the law." Then the two Leon County Sheriff deputies get there and seperate the two guys and begin to ask everyone what happened. So, myself, Paul, and 3 other guys all say that the cop threw the first punch.
Guess who was allowed to stay and watch the game (albeit not in our section) and guess who had to leave?
The cop, who threw the first punch, was allowed to stay. Such bullshit. I'm usually a big supporter of law enforcement, but I can definitely say that there are times that cops give themselves a bad name.
Now I'm going to be forced to contact the Leon County Sheriff Department tomorrow and file a complaint. The sheriff deputy (who only took my name and contact info and not Paul's) refused to give us his name and badge number. And I think they treated the cop unfairly just because he was a cop. I can't stand that. And if I end up getting subpoenaed to court over this I am going to be PISSED! I hope that the guy who had to leave presses charges against the cop. His friends are going to try and talk him into it.
So after that drama is over...I go to the bathroom and find this completely drunk girl who is overheated. Her friend has her head under the running water and is pouring water down her back trying to cool her off. Now I have to go find EMS b/c this girl about fell over as I'm washing my hands.
But the rest of the game was uneventful and we had a good time (minus the fact that it was 150 degrees out) and even got to go to Bonefish afterwards where we had the best waitress ever (named Jennifer, but Paul didn't know her...lol...that's for Chelsea). FYI...we did bring a change of clothes so we were not disgusting when we went to Bonefish.
Now we're just enjoying a lazy Sunday.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Reasons I love the fall
Current mood: happy
FSU football
Halloween
cooler weather
fall leaves
fires in the fireplace
smores
snuggling under a warm blanket
but my MOST FAVORITE fall thing is
THE RETURN OF MY TELEVISION SHOWS! I feel like a kid in a candy store anxiously awaiting to see Christina (New Adventure of Old Christine), Addison (Private Practice), Meredith (Grey's Anatomy), Charlie (Two and a Half Men), Booth and Bones (Bones), and all my other friends who I've missed so much over the summer (not that Tori and Dean didn't do a good job filling in and I will miss them until next summer).
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Hip hop abs and other related news
Current mood: bouncy
Let me give you a little recap of my day:
6:45am: Paul's alarm goes off. He hits snooze until 7:30am.
7:50am: Paul leaves work. I go back to sleep.
9:30am: Decide I should get up.
9:30 till 11am: Drink coffee, read, check my email, etc. Email back and forth with a woman I've met one time trying to harass her into doing something with me as I am desperate for friends. It worked (Paul thought maybe she'd get a restraining order against me). Find a coupon for a free week trial at a women's gym up the road. Print out a copy.
11am: Shower.
11:30am: Paul comes home for lunch.
12:30pm: Paul leaves to go back to work. I start to get my stuff ready to see clients. Receive phone call from 5pm client asking if she can reschedule her appointment till next week. No problem.
1pm: Call my client to verify she will be home since it's an hour drive. She says she will be there. Verify her address just in case she moved in the last couple days.
1pm-2pm: Drive to Tifton.
2pm: Find my client's house. 4 people sitting outside of house, but I ain't skeered.
2:15pm: Leave client's house b/c she is in a bad place and refuses to look at me or acknowledge me and eventually she just lays down on the couch and shuts her eyes.
2:15pm: Drive 1/2 mile up the street to another client's house. She is not home. Leave note on door asking her to call me.
3:30pm: Arrive home.
3:30-4pm: Spend 30 minutes trying to figure out how to hook dvd player up to tv in living room. After get all hooked up and dvd is on screen have to then hunt down remote control to get dvd to actually play.
4-4:30pm: Spend 30 minutes huffing and puffing through Hip Hop Abs dvd. Realize I am already sore and out of breath during warm up. Am fairly certain I look less like I am doing hip hop and more like I am having a seizure. Most of the work out I got was from me laughing like a hyena for the entire 30 minutes. However I finally have found my motivation for working out--we ran into Paul's exgirlfriend as she was leaving the gym last night and she was all like "I just ran a 5k. I work out 3 times a week." Biatch, I used to be a cheerleader, sorority girl, and lifeguard..I got this.
4:30-5pm: Give the cat a bath. No blood shed.
5pm: Call a new client to set up an appointment. Her cell says, "Please enjoy this call tone while we connect you" and then gangsta rap begins playing. I did in fact enjoy the gangsta rap.
And that has been my day thus far.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
The Walmart boycott is back on!
Current mood: annoyed
There were about 3 years in Florida that I refused to go to Walmart. I got fed up with the long lines, never enough cashiers, and the crazy ass people who shop there like its there last day on earth.
Then I was forced to do Christmas shopping for the school I worked at last year and had to go to Walmart to buy $1000 worth of toys and toiletries. Despites the fact that I cleaned out the entire area of travel size toiletries and forced the customer service ladies to ring up my order, leave my 3 baskets of toys/toiletries near their desk, go back to school for a check, and then come back and pick everything up they were very helpful.
When I got to Valdosta I started to go to Walmart everyday because I always thought of something I needed (yeah right) and it gave me something to do.
But last night ended all that.
I picked my cat up from his overnight at the vet. Cat has a urinary tract disease. Cat pees in the carrier in the car. Get home. Cat is bleeding (you don't really want to know from where). Call vet. Have to keep cat seperated. Crap, need another litter box. Run to Walmart.
Where it must've been payday because every single person in Valdosta was there buying deer stands, meat, beer, whatever else they needed (you know you're in a redneck town when you can buy a deer/tree stand at Walmart for $200). Each line must've had 20+ people in it (granted they only had 4 lines open). I get in the 20 items or less line behind Farmer John who has a good 50 items in his cart aka motorized scooter. Except I couldn't even say anything snarky to him because (I kid you not) he had on overalls and a John Deere hat. He looked so cute I almost couldn't stand it. Plus he must've been 110 years old. One nice lady did offer to let me put my stuff in her cart as I had in my arms a litter box, cat scratching post, and huge ass box of litter and she had in her car a 30 roll bag of toilet paper. I declined perferring to kick the litter with my foot all the way to the check out. And then they didn't even have any Sierra Mist up front.
So, Walmart...the boycott is so back on biatch!
PS I figured out why people in the south have an accent...because they are too lazy to say the entire word. lol. Which works out well for my lazy ass beause I literally maybe say 100 words a day now and convey all I need to say without overly taxing myself.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Bike riding
Current mood: sleepy
I am NOT a world class bike rider. In fact I may be the world WORST bike rider. One time in college I went bike riding with a friend and when we were going back onto campus instead of going up onto the sidewalk through the handicap ramp I decide I can just go over the curb. Well, when I went up over the curb I lost control of the bike, ran into someone, fell off the bike, and the chain went flying across the grass.
Sunday my sister decides she wants Paul and I to ride our bikes to the pool at my aunt and uncle's. We had gone bike riding the day before which was a harrowing experience as the bike I rode had some weird thing wrong with the handle bars and wobbled the entire time. As this was the bike with the basket Karin and I both agreed that she should ride that one to the pool with our stuff in the baskets.
We get on the bikes and set off. Peddling through the awful pain leftover from yesterdays bike ride we leave their street. To get to the pool we have to go through a barrier. I thought Karin would stop so the barrier would raise and we would ride under it. Karin rides through the two barriers. A narrow gap that I was fairly certain I would not fit through so being hugely nervous I wobbled by way through it. Then came the bike path. And the wooden bridge. And me freaking out and falling off the bike. Luckily I was able to crash into the wooden fence lining the walkway.
Much of our bike ride consisted of me walking the bike. I thought perhaps two cocktails would improve my bike riding or at least make me less nervous riding home.
It didn't.
But we did have a fun weekend.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Drag queen vs. cool life
Current mood: bored
Have you ever looked at the myspace or facebook pics of someone you went to high school with and in the same breath thought:
Wow, her life looks really cool.
and yet
She looks like a drag queen (although a very attractive drag queen).
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Silly girl tears
Current mood: happy
Does anyone else cry every single time they watch any of the following:
A Baby Story
I Propose
A Wedding Story
Bringing Home Baby
Because I cry EVERY SINGLE EPISODE and since they are constantly on rerun and I work part time...that's a lot of tears during the day (but happy tears b/c mostly I imagine how it will be when Paul proposes or when we get married or when we have a baby).
I'm such a girl!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Therapy
Current mood: blessed
So, I've been working as a therapist (aka still underpaid social worker who has gotten an MSW) for the last 4 years or so.
Today I got to do marriage counseling with a young (by young I mean 18 years old with a 2 year old daughter and I think mom is prego) couple. As we're going through some of their issues and I'm listening to their story I'm thinking, "Hmmmm...relationship stuff is always the same." And then as I'm talking I'm thinking, "Perhaps I should listen to my own advice."
Not that Paul and I have problems. We have the usual stuff and we talk through stuff pretty well, but I still have some issues of my own I need to work on.
It's funny though b/c I can give people all the advice in the world and I do think I'm pretty damn good at my job, but following that advice myself...whoooweeee! That's a tough one! If I could do that I'd
work out everyday
eat healthy
be happy 99.9% of the time
let go of the past
trust 100%
live in the moment
worry less
I guess I'm a work in progress...in this case progress is advancing a little slow...lol.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
How do we even have the same blood?
Current mood: bored
My cousins on my dad's side...in a word...amazing. I am not even sure how we can possibly be related.
Cousin 1...speaks a couple different langueges (is that even spelled right?), grew up in Africa, is a world traveler...not only with her fam, but also by herself, and works in DC doing something with companies bidding to provide stuff overseas or something...I don't really understand, can actually have a political debate.
Cousin 2...finishing college, is a world traveler, working on the Obama campaign, can actually have a political debate.
Me...the only concerns I have of a political nature are who is going to win a VMA this year, has only traveled to Canada, Bahamas, Belize, Roatan, Cayman Islands, Cozumel...and only b/c I went on 2 cruises and had a friend who lived near Niagra Falls, NY, loves reality television, and spends almost as much $$ on trashy gossip mags as I do on groceries.
While my cousins are out saving the world let me tell you about my "work" day...on my way to nowhere GA received a phone call from a client telling me she had to take her baby to the doctor and wouldn't be home for our appointment, continued my hour drive and used my time to go to Starbucks, rescheduled my insurance adjuster meeting while enjoying my delicisious iced mocha, almost had 6 fender benders due to lack of paying attention while driving on my part, went to 2nd appt early, no answer at door, as getting ready to leave my client walks by and doesn't stop me (ya know how I know she knew it was me...cause I was the only white person in the entire neighborhood), drive away, go to 3rd appt, am told by boyfriend that client is still at work, go to county park and talk on my phone for 30 minutes, go back to 2nd appt, client in pissy mood and refuses to answer my questions, eventually she tells me she can't be bothered by me and that I need to leave, go back to 3rd appt, mom still not home, wait down the street in front of church for 30 minutes, go back, not home, go around corner and park on street for 15 minutes, go back, not home, mom pulls in as I'm getting back into my car, meet with her, go to 1st appt, no answer at door even though car in driveway, drive home 1 hour, almost die from sheer lack of purpose in life.
I sleep like 10 hours a night, still can't find motivation to work out, and just exist. BUT I do like spending time with Paul and I guess that'll have to be enough for now. :)
Friday, August 15, 2008
Homesick
Current mood: sad
Tonight was my first time feeling homesick. I went to a KD thing here in Valdosta and I was the only person who hadn't gone to VSU. And southern GA, much like the rest of the south, is a place where EVERYONE is from here so EVERYONE has all these connections to each other. And I left there and really missed my friends.
In Sarasota everyone might know each other, but no one is from there.
And as I was driving home I was thinking about how when I worked for the state of KY I knew everyone in my huge office and when I worked in Sarasota I knew everyone or everyone knew me (mostly b/c I had so many different jobs and/or was involved in so many things) and here...
I'm nobody. If I disappeared while working the only person who would notice would be Paul. And while I really love living with Paul and being with him...it makes me sad, too, that I don't have any friends here.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Irony
Current mood:tard
So I totally was at the wrong house yesterday when the tree fell on my car. Nice, huh? Sometimes I wonder how I ever completed grad school.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
My first three days of work
Current mood: blustery
I have gotten 5 clients since Friday and of which I've yet to see a one, but not for lack of trying on my part.
Yesterday I drive out to middle of nowhere GA to hunt down a client who won't return my phone calls. As I'm driving down this country road the houses are like mini mansions and I think "Sweet" because I knew my clients had moved back in with family. Mixed in with the mini mansions are some nice midsize homes as well. I know I'm getting close to the address I'm looking for and I see a really well kept gray house with a really nice landscaped yard and I think that must be it...
WRONG...my house is the one next to it...the one without a driveway that's about a mile back from the road. But I gamely drive through the grass to reach this house. Did ya ever see the movie "Wrong Turn?" I'm pretty sure I just found the set for the house the deformed crazies lived in (complete with dilapidated "barn" and run down cars). I get out of my car and the entire time I'm thinking, "There never gonna find my body" as I look around for the mutant who is aiming his arrow at me. Knock on the door. No one home. Hallelujah! I leave a note just in case.
Today I have to drive to another county...45 miles away. Did I mention I don't get paid unless I have face to face contact with my client? But I have a scheduled 10am appointment. Get to the client's street...no house numbers. Call her to see which house is her's and guess what...she's not home, but she says she'll be home in 30 minutes. I tell her I'll come back b/c I have someone else I can go see. Go see this other person. Find what I think is her house based on the street sign and my GPS and am told it's not her house. Call her. She actually lives in an apartment so now I'm way confused. But call my supervisor who gives me enough direction that I find the house even knowing the woman isn't home (b/c we set up an appointment for tomorrow).
Now it's been like 35/40 minutes and I go back to the other house. The old man next door is sitting on his porch and he comes over and says that she moved! I say that I think she's going to come meet me here b/c I just talked to her like 45 minutes ago and she was on her way. I'm waiting in my car and its getting really windy out.
All of the sudden there is a huge crack (like when something gets struck my lightening) and a TREE FALLS ON MY CAR! Luckily it first hit the ramshackle porch the man next door was sitting on so it only hit the roof and one side of my car. As I'm watching this tree come down I'm thinking "Oh shit, I have no idea where I am, I"m gonna have to call 911, and how the hell am I going to dig this guy out from under his collapsed porch." Surprisingly his porch remained intact and he comes over and as I'm getting out of my car he says,
"I was gonna tell you to move your car cause I knew that tree was about to come down."
Really? Really? Thanks for the info.
Anyways, I took that as a sign from God that it was time to head home for the day and I left my little note and maybe I'll catch up with this lady tomorrow.
So those are my first few days of work.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Random David
Current mood: sleepy
About 5:45am this morning, after a night of insomnia (FYI when I finally fell asleep last night Paul wakes me up b/c he's talking in his sleep...apparently he'll "Be right back." That was at 4am) I get up to get a drink of milk. I turn on my cell phone b/c I want to set the alarm clock in case I did fall back to sleep it would wake me up. When I turn on my phone I have 2 new voicemails and a page from a 305 number (Area code 305 was the single original area code in the state of Florida, and still currently serves all of Miami-Dade County and the part of Monroe County that is in the Florida Keys. In case you wanted to know).
The voicemails are from David. The only David I know is my friend Mimi's husband and this sure ain't him. He's going on about how sexy my voice is and how I have such a great body and hopefully I'll be back online soon...2 entire voicemails of this. Then he says something about getting out of his chapter duties for the weekend so he can come over to the west coast and how he's assistant chapter director and I'm thinking "Is this a college kid?" But then I also think that my voicemail says my name so either A) he was strangely talking to a Jenn online or B) he is completely stupid and totally missed that he had the wrong number.
I went back in and made Paul listen to them (since I had already woken him up) and we laughed.
But now paranoia has set in and I'm worried I have a stalker. I guess I'll have to worn Melissa (who is renting my house) that she might have a visitor this weekend. Haha! Because how did he get my cell. I don't give it out to strangers so the only people who have it are friends and family...
Crazy, huh?
Anyways, I need to go get some coffee. I hope Tori and Dean is on. They'll cheer me up (plus I missed the season finale). I'm so sleepy!
Monday, August 11, 2008
Lucky
Current mood: loved
I am lucky. Not only do I have an incredible family and amazing friends, but I've also met the love of my life. From the moment we met I looked at him and knew. I've always known I was the one for him and he's always met my needs emotionally. He never went out with anyone else after we met even though we had just met. Before we exchanged I love you's I knew how he felt just by the way he looks at me.
He let me bring home a "stick in dirt" even though he thinks I'm a little crazy for doing so and he never complained when I ripped plants out of my old garden to bring home to Valdosta. He loaded and unloaded all my stuff (which was a 26' truck plus my car plus the back of his truck) without one word of cursing against me (well, at least that I could hear).
I'm not sure if he knows what a catch he is, but I do. We did the long distance thing for the first 4 months we were together and it would've been easy to continue to date other people, but neither of us wanted that. We met and knew we wanted to be together. No doubts.
I know how lucky I am. Even when he exasperates me I love him. I look at him and I love him. I talk to him and I love him. I sit next to him in silence and I love him. He is my favorite person. He is my lobster.
Friday, August 08, 2008
Persistence pays off
Current mood: cheerful
(I had to look up how to spell persistence...how sad is that...I think not working and sitting at home all day watching reality television is making me muy stupido, but god I love reality television)
I FINALLY met with the director of the agency I applied to months ago today. And the first thing she says to me is "Wow, you're really persistent. I told *I already forgot the person's name* I have to meet with Jenn since she keeps contacting me. I can bet you'll have no problem getting into clients houses."
Considering I once barged my way into a house in which grandma was drunk passed out and her hoodlum grandchildren were smoking pot and didn't want to let me in, but damn it I was seeing the baby the stupid judge placed there regardless if you have a weapon or not...then yes, I guess I am persistent (thank gawd Kelley was with me) and no I won't have a problem getting into a clients house.
I'm sure I'll have PLENTY of good stories to tell...
Thursday, August 07, 2008
How I helped train new Verizon employees
Current mood: tired
I got a job...ok, it was the job that I was pretty sure I was going to do, but I officially met with the owner today and whoohoo I will start getting referrals hopefully by the end of this week. Since I'm a contract employee that means I work from the house and have to use my own phone I decided to add another line to my verizon account so I could hand out that number instead of my personal cell.
Holy crap...I thought it would be a quick 20 minutes max kind of thing instead of the ordeal in turned into.
I go into Verizon and there is no employee to be seen so I'm kind of walking around jingling my keys and eventually this woman comes out from the back
with her shirt untucked
zipping up her pants
trying to tuck her shirt in as she does the belt up.
Um, ok.
So now I'm wondering what she was doing back there...going to the bathroom, having sex, just rolling around with her pants off, who knows.
And she has NO IDEA how to do her job and I'm beginning to wonder if she's drunk. Or perhaps on some kind of work release program.
So she begins and within 10 minutes is stuck and has to call her manager. Now I have to wait for the manager to get there which she assures will happen in like 2 minutes cause he just lives around the corner. So I wait.
And I wait.
And I wait.
And he gets there. And he doesn't know how to do what I want to do so he calls the Verizon 800 number and then I get on the phone with that woman and there's this whole big debate about who will get credit for the sale and my guy is like who cares just help the customer (aka me). And then that lady says they'll mail me my phone and I'm like Um, wait a minute, no. So we hang up on her.
But now I'm committed to seeing this process through.
And now he has to call someone else. In the meantime a guy comes back to pick up his phone which he had dropped off to get his numbers transferred to his new phone. And that is a whole other waiting game so I, aka Captain Obvious, say to him:
You play football? (um, he's like a huge 200 lb. black guy with a Valdosta State shirt and sweatpants on)
And he looks at me like why is this retarded woman talking to me and says, "I did. I just graduated."
So my nosy ass says, "Congratulations. What are you gonna do now?" (cause that is any of my business)
He says, "Go to school in Atlanta." And then the tard behind the counter chimes with in "For what?"
He says, "Grad school to be a probation officer."
Me, "Criminal justice?"
Him, "Yeah."
Then I proceed to give him my opinion on the differences b/n state versus federal probation and which he should pursue. And this poor guy is thinking I just wanted my numbers on my new phone.
Then my guy distracts me with finishing up (I'll use the word finishing loosely as it was still another 20 minutes before we were done) my stuff.
Total time: 1.5 hours in Verizon (they brought me out a chair to sit in people)
Anyways, off to run my other errands which include Walmart (FYI I've gone to walmart more in the week and a half that I've been in Valdosta then I did in the entire 5 years I was back in Florida) and the bank for Paul.
At least I should begin working soon...Yeah!
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Crocs
Current mood: excited
So I totally stole this picture off the blog of Jen Lancaster (fyi..she is the fucking hilarious author of Bitter is the New Black as well as 2 other memoirs and one of my fave authors). Anyways, she got all this free stuff from Crocs. I totally didn't even know they made high heel shoes! I'm so stoked (haha)!!! This was my response to her blog:
..TR> ..TR> Shut up! I didn't know Crocs made high heels which I'm totally going to have to get now! *squeal* with excitement
Um, I wore my croc mary janes in brown today to go to lunch with my boyfriend. I just moved to southern GA from southwest FL and this was our conversation as we walked into the bank.
Him "You can't wear crocs anymore."
Me "Why?
Him "Because the only people who wear crocs in GA are the ones who need a helmet and aren't allowed to use forks."
Me "Suck it. I love these shoes and I'm wearing 'em."
Him *shakes his head in disgust and embarrassment*
Wait till I sport my high heeled crocs.....TABLE>..TABLE>
Monday, August 04, 2008
First Friday and the sketch
Current mood: bored
As I was driving through downtown Valdosta (a trip you can make in less than 2 minutes from 1 side to the other) I see a sign for First Friday and I get excited. Paul and I make plans to go downtown on Friday and go out to dinner. In Sarasota, First Friday is where they close off the streets and have live bands and you can buy beer and wine on the streets and its a big networking, fun event. Paul informs me that in Valdosta it is a little different and it basically is people go hang out downtown at the bars/restaurants and some of those places might have bands or music. But I'm still game so we plan on going.
Of course it rains all Friday afternoon, but at least we can go out to dinner. We get downtown and go have a drink and then head over to the restaurant we have a reservation at (my fave Valdosta Italian place). As we are walking over there we see a couple getting their sketch drawn by a street artist. Paul and I have a lovely dinner and then are going to go back to another bar to get a drink. As we are getting ready to cross the street this woman asks, "Do you want your sketch done?" I say "No thank you" and keep walking. Paul stops and says "That might be interesting." He asks the woman how much and she says "$30." Paul doesn't have any cash and I unfortunately do (I should've lied). I give the woman the money and we sit down on the bench. We ask how long she's been sketching and her reply is "Since I was 7, but I've never had lessons." Hmmm....
You know how street artists usually whip those things out in like 10 minutes and the picture is awesome. 5 minutes go by, 10 minutes go by, 15 minutes go by and she isn't done with Paul's face yet and she keeps erasing shit and redrawing it. Plus I have to pee like its my job now. 35 minutes later and she's done with both of us. She turns the picture around and asks what we think.
I think that a blind chimpanzee using his feet would've drawn a better picture of us. We both look like we were in disfiguring car accidents. And she only drew our heads! I could barely contain my laughter especially when Paul says, "But you didn't sign it" and hands it back to her to sign.
You know how when people see a baby stroller and they go to peek in the stroller expecting a cute baby and the reaction they have when the baby is ugly...we should've known when that was the reaction of every person who walked by and looked at the sketch as the woman was drawing.
We laughed hysterically the entire rest of the night and we will be matting and framing our "sketch" and hanging it somewhere in the house. When I get my printer hooked up I'll scan it and put a copy myspace so everyone can see how lovely it is.
Monday, August 04, 2008
It’d be easier to buy a gun in GA
Current mood: bored
than to get my driver's license. I went before our cruise to get my GA driver's license. I had 6 confirmations from the STATE OF GEORGIA regarding state jobs I'd applied for. Not the right proof of residency. Fine.
Go on our cruise. My driver's license expires. My car tag expires.
Get back. Go to the DDS aka the DMV in most other states. (FYI...the DDS is not in a building labeled as such, but is in the Georgia State Patrol building across from the Georgia prison farm in the middle of nowhere...how the hell would any normal person know to look there? I only knew because I remembered the street address).
It's raining. Back to DDS with my official United States Postal Service address change as well as a box of checks with my new address (isn't the post office a federal agency?). The girl at the counter says sorry, can't help you. Sit in the parking lot and call the customer service line. By the way...its now 3:30pm. They close at 5pm. She tells me to get my boyfriend to sign a lease, they don't care what the lease says. Fine.
Rush home. Still raining. Run out of printer ink. Hate the printer. Email the lease to Paul who is supremely busy at work. Run over to his work. Rush in and have him sign the lease. (Now he can't kick me out until July 31st, 2009...haha). Rush back over to DDS. Triumphently (is that how you spell that) show the girl behind the counter my "lease." Get called and go in. Pay my $20 or whatever it was. Guy doesn't even look at the lease to make sure its signed. Register to vote. Am planning on trying to get over to tag place today also before 5pm. It's now 4:35. Have picture taken. Get license. Hallelujah! Realize GA drivers license is basically a laminated piece of paper that I could've made on my printer at home.
Jet over to the tag office. Had earlier called my insurance company, changed to GA insurance, had them email me confirmation.
Get to the counter at 4:59pm. DON'T HAVE MY TITLE. Have no idea where my title is. Crap!
Go home, find my title immediately, but tag office now closed. Go back next day to get tag. Wait in line. Get to counter. Purchase tag. Their printer is down. Neoshia tells me to call later to see if its up yet. Call after lunch and able to go back and get tag. Get fight breast cancer tag.
I am fairly certain that I could've purchased a gun in GA easier than I could've gotten my drivers license. But after seeing how people in GA drive I can understand why they are stingy handing out the licenses. Lets just say no one from Valdosta would ever be able to drive in Manhatten without stroking out. I think I curse at someone everytime I'm in my car. Being behind someone who is turning is the worst as they are very nervous turners.
Oh well. Other than the driving and unpacking I am extremely happy here with my honey.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Is Valdosta considered part of the bible belt?
Current mood: silly
You know growing up in FL I thought I was used to a slower pace of life, but living in GA has taught me that I am a true yankee apparently because holy gawd these people don't know from slow.
HOWEVER, the people in GA are super friendly (which probably contributes to their slowness because everyone stops and talks to everyone). And I am liking it so far. I am trying to enjoy not having a job and just relaxing. The highlight of my day today (besides Paul having lunch with me) was going to the post office. I tried to get my drivers license, but apparently the letter back from the state of GA regarding my job application was not good enough proof that I was living here. Yes, I couldn't get a state of GA drivers license using a letter from the state of GA as proof of residency. I have no other words to say about that. The DMV is also in a totally random, middle of nowhere place and says State Patrol or something on the building with no words about getting your license there. I did get to see the state prison farm though trying to find the DMV.
One weird thing in Valdosta (besides their obsessive love of Mexican food--I swear there are 6 different Mexican restaurants here--and their great need for auto parts--an auto parts store seems to be on every corner) is the radio. You know how in most places the God stations are confined to stations 90.1 to 92.9...not so in Valdosta. God stations are every station minus a few country music stations and several stations with the words "Magic" or "Warm" in the station ID. People here love them some oldies--the best of the 70's, 80's, and today. I've not really found a station I love yet (I miss Orlando and the Freak Show), but if you can get past hearing a country rap song (not sure who sings it b/c I've only heard it in Valdosta) followed by a Rhianna song on the same station then you'll be okay. Let's just say that I change the radio station A LOT, but I am learning all the lyrics to every song from the1970's.
I did finish a home study course I had to do on medical errors and that took up a good 30 minutes (ok, 20 minutes) of my day.
So life is good and will continue to get better I'm sure. I'm learning my way around and getting to spend time with Paul. Still haven't found time to work out, but soon...it's on my list of things to do....
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
My cell phone addiction...no wait, its a full blown dependency
Current mood: blessed
My very expensive Verizon Voyager broke (yes, I bought one back in December when they were a million dollars a piece, much more the afforable under $200 they are now). The touch screen stopped working and you would've thought my world had ended.
As I am up in Valdosta (yea to Melissa for staying at my house aka moving in) I had to search on yellowpages.com to even see if they had a verizon store in the area. I was fully prepared to drive up to an hour to get my beloved phone fixed (I mean really...what else do I have to do).
So they have a lovely store right near the house...yea...except that it was just a sales store with no tech staff. However, the very nice man directed me to the store with tech support. He even drew me a little map and I got to see some new parts of Valdosta (I didn't even know they had a Red Lobster...sweet).
The staff at the tech support store were super friendly and I think the reason why is...I was the only person in the store. Unlike the Sarasota store which usually has no less than 50 people in the tiny space at any given time waiting for up to 2 hours for whatever they need...those people tend to be a little...shall we say cranky. I got to speak to someone immediately and this is how our exchange went:
Kyle: Whats wrong with your phone?
Me: The touch screen stopped working (I then launch into a full blown description of when the problem started and how the phone now jumps to whatever application it wants like mobile tv)
Let me see the phone (Kyle proceeds to try and get the touch screen to work to no avail)
And I love my cell phone. I'd be more upset if I lost my phone than if I lost my wallet (Kyle looks appalled as I say this).
Well then this is going to be a fun conversation. (Now I look appalled).
Why? (swallow nervously)
I'm going to need to keep your phone for a few days. (I pass out on the floor)
What? A few days? I'm only in town until Friday. I need my phone. (I say once they revive me with smelling salts and a good slap to the face)
I'm just kidding. Come back at 1:30.
Okay. (as I wipe tears from my eyes)
And I leave the store. As soon as I get in my car I think I have to call Paul and tell him and realize...NO PHONE! And almost have a panic attack because what if someone tries to call me, or what if I have an accident and need to call someone, or what if....how do I breath without my phone?
So I went to Target to look at bathingsuits and Kohls to look at bathingsuits...um, how do you have seperates and yet only have tops of certains ones and bottoms of another, but NO matching tops and bottoms? I realize summer is halfway over (okay, I lied...I didn't just realize that until I typed the sentence)...never mind.
And I went to the Home Depot where I bought some lovely window coverings (right Paul???) that Paul just absolutely LOVES (right Paul who is possibly going to enjoy a delicious homemade spaghetti dinner tonight depending on his response to this blog???).
And I went to get my phone. Kyle wasn't there, but Dexter was equally as friendly and helpful. Alas, my phone was dead; however, I did get a brand new shiny voyager for free (although sad b/c I lost all my saved text messages from Paul). And then I came home and called the customer service center to ask about my recently downloaded ringtones.
I wonder if there is a 12 step group for cell phone addictions?
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood
Current mood: blissful
I am really going to miss my neighborhood...where else can you pass a cop car as you go to the grocery...only to find him parked out at your neighbors house when you return, get high as you walk down the street (because your neighbors smoke pot), share a friendly conversation with the neighborhood sex offender who is chatting with the domestic violence guy in front of the house, meet your neighbors foreign exchange student (you'd think there'd be some kind of rule about not sending foreign exchange students to stay next door to the sex offender), have a conversation with a neighbor about someone stealing stuff out of his garage in the middle of the day while he was home, see fireworks every day of the year (because your white trash neighbors LOVE them), call 911 so often that the cops come to you for information about your neighbors...
Good times, good times...
Monday, July 07, 2008
3o best and worst beach bodies
Current mood: blah
Trying to have a slow email chat with Paul (very frustrating especially since my laptop and my wireless internet do not have a good relationship) I'm watching the 30 best and worst beach bodies as I drink my morning coffee (at 11am). Now I have no doubt in my mind that I would NOT be on the best beach body list, BUT in my defense if my only job in life was to get paid to be beautiful then hell yeah I'd work out for hours a day and it'd be way easier to eat healthier if I could order prepared food or have a private chef...
On the flip side I've been off work since the beginning of June...I've gone to the gym 3 times. I am not even sure what I waste my time doing all day, but it hasn't been working out.
I am trying to eat healthier. My dad thinks I'm an alcoholic (because those 5 drinks I had Saturday night gave me a hangover) and according to my mom he wrote me a note about it and mailed it...not to throw people under the bus, but my parents have zero right to lecture anyone about drinking. Where do you think I learned to drink? Although I had already decided to not drink anything else until my birthday (an an effort to be more health conscious and maybe shed a pound or two). I can recognize my dad did this out of concern for me, but this was also the first time I'd been out at night (other than dinner) in months.
My mom stopped by my dad's office and got to see his girlfriend. She actually didn't have the meltdown I expected when she told me. I was quite proud of her.
I don't want to be the fat girl on the cruise! I also watched a Tori and Dean marathon the other day and was quite depressed on learning that a 6 months pregnant Tori still weighed 30 lbs. less than me.
I hope Paul is ready to help me be fit when I move up with him (FYI my dad is ready for me to move in with Paul because he knows Paul hardly ever drinks and my dad thinks he'll be a good influence on me).
Gotta get ready for lunch and errand running followed by packing, packing, packing...
Sunday, June 29, 2008
I CAN be a lifeguard again!
Current mood: blissful
I even got to practice my lifesaving skills today. Imagine this...
I took myself, my dogs Beauty and Beast (a chinese crested and a chihuahua), and Paul's dogs Sasha and Jojo (a 90 lb. boxer and a boston terrier) down to my mom's house to let them run around her yard with her dogs (aka the spawns of satan aka Penny, Buddy, and Spanky--65 to 75 lbs. each) and go swimming. My sister also came with her dog Lil Dude (a chihuahua).
Running around the yard was first. We sat outside and intervened in any potential dog fights. Beast, mr. antisocial, stayed to himself the entire time. Beauty escaped through the fence and I had to go get her. She stayed on the leash after that. Finally it was pool time....
2 of my mom's dogs like to get on the steps. I had on pants (like a swimsuit cover up kind of pants) over my bathingsuit and I am standing on the steps trying to get Sasha to get in the pool. So she does get in, but my mom's maniacs go crazy whenever a dog tries to get out of the pool. It might be because she throws giant rubber ducks in the pool and lets them attack them, but I could be wrong. Now Sasha can't get out of the pool because everytime she goes near the steps she gets attacked. And I'm the only person out on the pool deck with all 8 dogs. Sasha turns around and now she goes under water and is sinking more than swimming so I have to jump in after her and push/pull this 90 lb. dog to the step in the deep end. Still have my pants on which are not helping the situation. We relax on the steps until my mom and sister come out and then decide to head back to the shallow end. Halfway there...Sasha under water. So I am trying to hold Sasha up, hold myself up, I can't touch the bottom, my pants are weighing me down, and next thing I know I am under water and Sasha is on top of me. My back looks like I was attacked by Freddy Krueger. Sasha then thought I was her savior because she wouldn't leave my side the rest of the time. If I got out of the pool, Sasha got out of the pool. If I sat on the steps, Sasha sat on the steps. Or she tried to sit on my lap as I sat on the steps.
I think everyone had a good time b/c they all seemed VERY tired when we left, especially me! Haha! Needless to say I came home and got right into my jammies. :)
So sleepy....sleeping till 9:30 everyday and doing nothing is tough work! What's gonna happen if I get a job??? I might not be able to handle it.
Currently watching:
Jon & Kate Plus Ei8ht, Seasons 1 - 2
Release date: 2008-09-09
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Being unemployed is NOT that fabulous (good thing I am)
Current mood: fabulous
You know I thought being "off" (or in my case unemployed) would be a lot cooler than it actually is. So far I've gone on vacation with my mom, can't ever remember what day it is, sleep a lot, have gone to the doctors several times (FYI...still have the same problem I complained about a month ago...2 seperate doctors finally recognized the issue...I still have no antibiotics...I'm very uncomfortable here people...give me some drugs), went to my aunt/uncles in Amelia Island (ok, that totally rocked mostly because of the lying by the pool which is on the beach drinking bahama mamas with Melissa), packed, sent out resumes, and today went to the dog park.
What I want to know is how people get cool jobs? Like this Samantha Brown on the Travel Channel. She is slightly annoying and yet she gets paid to travel around the world for free! Granted she wears a bikini in a lot of episodes and no one would pay me to do that (actually they may pay me NOT to do that) and she seems slightly more gutsy than I might be, BUT come on...
She's doing this episode on a carnival ship and she is getting a spa treatment. Um, I hope our carnival ship has this spa treatment b/c I am totally doing this...some kind of seaweed wrap on a water bed. She did go out of Tampa so maybe...keep your fingers crossed for me.
Tomorrow my unemployed fabulous self is going to a chocolate dessert thing at the Ritz Carlton. So what if I'm going to be eating ramon noodles for all meals in a couple weeks. Chocolate at the Ritz will totally be worth it (and its only like $16).
I'm watching an old King of Queens and Carrie is unemployed. Doug just got home from work and Carrie said, "Seriously when you're not working you get up, throw on some sweats, eat something, lay on the couch, and before you know it its time for bed." She wants Doug to entertain here. I wish Paul was watching this show because this will soooooo be our life if I don't find a job in Valdosta. Poor Paul...
And despite being unemployed I did NOT make it to the gym today or yesterday, but I am going to a 2 hour yoga class tomorrow (it'll probably kill me).
Okay I'm being mauled by a Boston terrier. I guess someone needs some entertainment himself. Gotta run!
Currently watching:
The King of Queens - The Complete Series
Release date: 2007-11-06
Friday, June 27, 2008
Ugh
Current mood: tired
I spent the evening uploading (downloading? Exporting? importing?) pictures from my laptop onto cd's (I know the glamour of my life is astounding…try to hold yourself back, but I spent the morning driving back from Valdosta which FYI overheard someone yesterday in a restaurant in Fernandina Beach talking about how they refused to go visit their friends in Valdosta b/c their friends have lived there for a year and haven't found anything to do so these people just refused to go see them and went to Fernandina instead…can't wait to move to Valdosta). I noticed a few things.
There probably was a way easier method of exporting than what I did, but 7 hours later…we're almost done.
Um, I'm a fatty. In a lot of pictures if I've spent time getting made up and pose for the picture…ok, not so bad. In the pictures where I'm drunk or not posed or made up…fatty fatty 2x4...it ain't pretty.
I have 10,000 pictures of my friends and I playing quarters (a drinking game for those of you who grew up in a dry county or a cave)…playing quarters at my house, playing quarters at Mary's house, playing quarters at Jane's and Ty's. We did occasionally play dance, dance revolution…usually after a night of quarters.
Popcorn kernels can go stale…and they taste BAD when that happens…
In the picture of me with my friend's cousin at my friend's wedding…I look like I could swallow her…literally I am twice the size of this girl. WTF!
I stopped by my dad's house earlier today to pick up my dogs (b/c when you drive 4 hours to get home you then want to drive another 45 minutes to get your dogs) and I go inside and apparently Beauty was not as well behaved as she could be (think her peeing over the carpets they just had cleaned) and I sit down and Patsy barely says a word. I don't even think 5 minutes passed before my dad stood up, got the dogs leashes, put the leashes on the dogs and said "Thanks for stopping by." Um, I guess I'm leaving. Patsy then looks up and says "Oh, are you leaving?" First words she said to me the entire 7 ½ minutes I was there. Oh, okay bye. Weirdos.
I am a fat ass.
I am about 1 bad outfit away from being kidnapped by the people from What Not to Wear….holy crap I've worn some doozies. Why has no one stepped in and told me I look like ass BEFORE I leave my home?
I wish I had a cupcake from Magnolia Bakery in NYC. Or Publix.
Kathy Griffin fucking cracks me up. If you don't watch Her life on the D list show then you are missing out.
I want to take the Pink Flight to Australia.
I forgot my dog was outside. Wow. In my defense I have not only my 2 dogs, but my boyfriends 2 dogs and my 2 cats at my house so it's easy to overlook someone.
Do you ever look at people you've dated and go "Holy crap, what was I thinking?"
I wish I had an Australian accent or any cool accent (somehow I don't think the GA accent I'm going to pick up is going to be that cool).
What time is it?
Why did I take so many pictures????
In a commercial for a "chat" line the young lady said, "James you really make me laugh." I heard, "James you really make me wet." WTF…I wonder what I'm missing…
Final tally…2838 pictures downloaded…media needed 8 cd's or 1 dvd…total of over 3000 pictures burned onto 3 dvds. A million hours used. Massive eye strain. Can barely see anymore. Can't feel my fingers.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Taking the high road
Current mood: blissful
I was really pissed at my air conditioning company. I had purchased an expensive allergy filter for my a/c from them and it was a year of nonstop issues. For example, they initially installed the unit UPSIDE DOWN (after they cut my a/c handler to fit the unit) and then they installed the wrong size voltage adapter. The last time it stopped working and I had them come out the guy said it was because I had a faulty breaker, I needed an electrician, and he charged me $75 for a 10 minute visit. I didn't pay it and I kept getting billed for it.
So I wrote a strongly worded letter to the company saying how appalled I was to get this bill, detailing every time I had to take off work to wait for them, and how I would be happy to inform the BBB and Trane about the company they let install their equipment. I also said that the way I figured it they actually owed me $360 for all the times I had to take off work.
Then I thought crap because I have a parts warranty and really need these people to come service this unit if the need arises. But then I remembered my friend will be renting my house and she can call to set up appointments (that's not the high road part). Haha!
The owner of the company calls me. He says he has pulled all my invoices, apologizes to me, thanks for me for informing him of these issues, I don't have to pay the $75, and offers to send me the $360!
Here's the high road part:
I said, "That's not necessary. Thank you for listening to my complaint and rectifying the bill situation."
It's almost like I'm a saint...
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Things that annoy me more than they should
Current mood: sore
People who get in their cars in the parking lot AND THEN JUST SIT THERE! Hello, do you not see me waiting for your spot? Back the fuck out and finish playing with yourself when you get home. I have things to do and that does not include sitting in the parking lot waiting for your slow ass.
People who do not stop at the stop sign in front of my Publix. Run my ass over and I'll get up and chase you down the road. Don't think I don't scream and shake my fist at people when they don't stop and I'm trying to cross.
Baggers who put 1 grocery item per plastic bag. I've actually made baggers unload and repack all my groceries...that is when I'm not shoving them out of the way to do it myself.
Women who hog the pharmacy counter asking a million questions. Move aside ladies cause I just need my Nexxium to fix my raging heartburn. It especially irritates when said women continue to stand in front of the entire window, leaning on the counter, while the other pharmacy person is trying to continue to help other customers. I cannot sign my little sheet with your big ass in my way!
However, I am somewhat of a celebrity at my Publix and most of the employees love it. In the pharmacy it may be because I am one of their best customers. In the deli...Scotty thinks I'm cute...okay so maybe he treats everyone like their his best friend, but...
And the best one of all is my Publix boyfriend...he's a manager. I was trying to hurry tonight because I was hungry and went into a lane without noticing the light was off. He was bagging and came over to put the closed barricade up and I said "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see that the lane was closed." He said "That's okay. You know you're special." Now he could've meant special in a helmet wearing kind of way, but I think he has a little crush on me. Fortunately I have the love of my life and he's in the Air Force, not a manager at Publix (although I did have a massive crush on the manager at my old Publix who was like a foot shorter than me, but that was years ago).
My house is a disgusting mess right now. Packed boxes, half unpacked luggage everywhere, the vaccum is chillaxin in the dining room. Still haven't started studying for my licensure exam, but I have made some good progress on packing. I also dragged my fat ass to the gym today where I was the only one there. And I enjoyed some time in the sauna. My shoulders are so sore from packing!
OMG...I have been watching the first 48 and totally thought they were talking about this case in Cincinnati and just realized they were talking about one in Dallas. Guess I should pay attention. I miss the Nati...
The 100 thing challenge
Current mood: breezy
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1812048,00.html
I stumbled across this article today while playing online at work. It came from a blog "aguynameddave" wrote on living with just 100 personal things.
Since I am beginning to pack to move I decided now would be the perfect time to see what I could get rid of before I move in an attempt to declutter my life and not take so much stuff with me when I move.
I started packing my office tonight. I packed 5 boxes of books--4 for storage, 1 for the house. I have 3 bookcases to put out on my curb for people to take (I am not sure they are in good enough shape to go to goodwill, but if no one takes them I'll try). But I got rid of probably 50 books--which I separated into piles to either give to friends or give to goodwill.
I could have a yard sale, but I just don't think I'll have time before I leave. I really don't have that many weekends left and a couple weekends I'm going to be out of town.
I decided that all the clothes I have not worn in the last year (minus my expensive dresses) are NOT coming with me to Valdosta. Goodwill here ya go.
Movies not on DVD--goodwill (except the Disney movies which I'm going to donate to the school I worked at).
Silverware--goodwill
Glider from my living room--Amanda
full size bed--Melissa
Once you start to get rid of stuff it becomes surprisingly easier to keep getting rid of stuff.
And for the first time EVER I got rid of old photos of exboyfriend's which is how I know that I am completely in love with Paul. I felt no regrets in throwing those momentos away and felt no need to hold on to them or bring them with me into my next relationship (minus a few girly sentimental items which most of you probably know what I'm talking about).
Yea me!
Monday, June 16, 2008
Old diaries
Current mood: sore
So I have spent the last hour packing up my office (FYI Karin I have gotten rid of almost 100 books so does that count? If so, then I'm done) and I came across all my old diaries or the grown up version journals. And of course I had to read through some of them and in doing so realized that:
I spent far too much time worrying about boys.
I sound like a loser.
I spent far too much time worrying about losing weight.
I'm not sure my "journal" entries have changed all that much since middle school, high school, college to today. How sad is that? I still worry about boys and I still worry about my weight.
I then had to decide keep them or toss them. I kept them for now. Maybe my children would enjoy reading them one day. Paul--sorry you are out of that loop and do NOT get to read them, but I love you!
Although maybe I should toss them...I went through and got rid of the majority of old love letters, etc. from high school. This might be another good exercise is not holding on to crap from the past.
I need some opinions here people...let me know if you would keep them or toss them.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Poop rolling across the road
Current mood: anxious
Since I referenced this in my blog on oversharing I figured I should tell the story about why we would discuss this topic.
I was driving home from work one day and I see something that looked to me to be rolling across the road, in the cross walk, at a fairly busy intersection. The absolute very first thing that pops into my head is:
"Oh look...a piece of poop rolling across the road."
I did not even question why I thought a piece of poop would be rolling across the road or if it would even be physically possible for a piece of poop to roll across a flat surface. As I drive by and have a chance to really look at this I see that its a mouse or a mole or something and its actually scurrying across the road (scurrying, rolling, same diff).
So, I call my friend Melissa and as I'm laughing hysterically I tell her this whole poop fiasco and she starts laughing hysterically. Later on I tell Paul and...no response. So, I say to him "Well, Melissa laughed," and he said "That's because you two are the same person."
A month later we are at sushi dinner for my friend Mary's bday (We have a reservation for 7) and this story comes up and we proceed to talk about this rolling poop for the rest of the night. And EVERYONE laughs hysterically (even Paul).
Don't doubt that I look for this mouse/poop every single time I drive through that intersection.
When a I am unsure of what something is I will ALWAYS think its something completely random and irrelevant. Always.
On a side note: I'll be home from my road trip tomorrow. We stopped in Valdosta tonight so my mom could see where I'm living, went to Paul's house, and I was really sad that he wasn't there (he's at an AF thing for 5 weeks). :( But I am anxious to get home so I can start studying for my licensure exam and begin packing for my move!
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Car coma
Current mood: sleepy
I spent my day in a "car coma" (phrase coined by my sissy Karin). And by car coma I mean completely, totally, minimally conscious...in the car...my mom was driving. We drove from Jersey to NC (um, hello wild fires and smoke...whatcha ya got going on NC?).
I think I slept from....Jersey to NC. At one point my mom stopped at a rest area and I couldn't even rouse myself enough to go to the bathroom (luckily I didn't have to go), but she turned off the car and left the windows up with me semi-conscious in the car (and my mom is NOT a quick rest room user). As the heat index continues to climb inside the car I begin to have those weird hallucinations that occur when you're semi-comatose and unbearably warm. Did this inspire me to say crack a window or open my door? Hell, no. I couldn't even inspire myself to open my eyes. I just figured if it was my time to die of heat suffocation then it was my time.
I could barely force myself to wake up to eat lunch...rest assured I am NOT one to miss a meal so my fat ass did the drunken dance into the Chili's (don't you love that feeling of being drunk when you've overslept and haven't touched a drop?), but as soon as I got back in the car I was asleep.
Now its 8:45pm and sadly...I'm in my jammies trying to keep my eyes open. Only the thought of the chocolate zinger and glass of milk I'm about to have, as soon as I finish digesting my ahi tuna from Outback, is keeping me awake.
And now a random question for you?
Is anyone else as creeped out by the Hogan family as I am?
Thursday, June 12, 2008
The Law of Attraction
Current mood: blissful
First a totally random thought...I would be more upset if someone stole my cell than if they stole my expensive name brand wallet containing all my credit cards. I feel saddened by this...
Now on to more important things.
I've been visiting my Grammy. She's now in a nursing home which she hates even though her and her roomie, Mrs. Cooper, are hilariously funny. My aunt hates elevators so when she arrived today to see grams I went down to the lobby to meet her and ride up in the elevator with her (my family has some very strange dysfunction and phobias).
While waiting for her to walk up from the parking lot I noticed a couple sitting in the lobby. They appeared to be husband and wife. The wife was in a wheelchair and it was near impossible to understand what she was saying, possibly due to stroke or age. Her husband sat and gazed adoringly at her all the while rubbing her arm and hand. They stayed that way for what seemed like forever...just staring into each other's eyes, minimally able to communicate verbally, but demonstrating their love for each other none the less. It brought tears to my eyes and wondered about the journey this couple have taken together, the love they share and I can only wish that Paul and I have that love, that love that lasts forever, and that when we are that age that we can still look at each other like that, so that everyone can see our love.
Oprah's rerun was about The Secret. I have yet to read this book, but understand the basic premise behind it...what you put out into the universe is what you get back into the universe. When I was very bitter and negative towards relationships then I got relationships that reflected that...men who would lie to me, cheat on me, couldn't commit, drama, etc. When I decided that I wasn't willing to settle for crap anymore then I met Paul. Oprah's magazine talks about the love list...writing down all the things you are looking for in a partner and I truly believe that Paul fulfilled all the things I had thought about. It was like I wished for him and the universe sent him to me.
When I get home I am going to make a vision board for myself. And I going to get all the things I always wanted, but never imagined I could have and my life will be excellent.
I'm not going to be afraid of my move to GA anymore, of leaving my friends and family, of not having a job, of changing my very good relationship. I am going to embrace this move. I'm going to look forward to all the changes about to occur in my life. I'm going to get a job I love. I'm going to live with the man I love. And it's going to be fantastic.
What a great way to live!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Random Wednesday thoughts
Current mood: smitten
I wish everyone could see how funny my grammy is. I wish I had a video camera to tape the things she says. Things such as talking about incontinence and her reply is "I'm a big girl now" in a funny accent. I asked her if she found a boyfriend in the nursing home and she said "Not yet." Then we were talking about someone giving her a ride and she said "What kind of ride?" insinuating something sexual. She just cracks me up!
We cleaned up her house some and put some furniture out to the curb. I do not think my grammy's floors have ever been cleaned. There were dust balls bigger than my dogs on the floor. Plus her roommate asked me to clean out her own closet. Remember the scene in The Grudge where the lady looks in the closet...that pretty much summed up my experience especially since there appeared to be some kind of dead animal stuffed into the ceiling. I threw the shit in the bag and got out of there. It didn't help that there was zero air conditioning on the second floor. Plus the ceiling fans were so low that I couldn't walk under them without worrying about losing my head!
I love McCobb's texas weiners...best hot dogs ever!
I miss living in New Jersey even though I find people up here incredibly rude, awful dressers (hello, you are only 45 minutes from Manhatten...how does that not translate or rub off on you???), and do not like the accents (am ever so thankful I moved when I was 6), but the area is really pretty with very cute houses and everyone's yards are nice.
I tried on clothes are Kohls and looked pregnant in every single outfit. I'm not, but if I was I could've definitely gotten some cute non-maternity maternity clothes. Needless to say I ended up buying 2 purses and no clothes (and yes, I will be getting rid of 2 purses when I get home in exchange).
My grammy thinks my boyfriend is cute and her old roommate/companion thinks he has a nice butt.
I am sure there were more things I wanted to blog about, but I just can't remember them right now. I'm too distracted by So You Think You Can Dance and wondering why the girl is wearing lingerie as a costume.
Monday, June 09, 2008
The first 3 days
Current mood: horny
Arrived in Aberdeen, MD this evening. Got to spend last night with my friend Kelly G. (Happy Birthday girl!) in Charlotte and the night before that in Savannah ( love it). Oh, and in Savannah...conned my mom into going on an 10:45pm "Ghosts and Gravestones" tour where we got to go into a house featured on Ghost Hunters. Sadly, did not see any ghosts, but it definitely was a spooky house. I love that Savannah!
What can I say about the trip thus far:
It has averaged 100 degrees everywhere we've gone. Hotter than Florida and hell.
I am the WORST road trip companion ever (although is it really a road trip if you're with your mother?) as I can stay awake for about 30-60 minutes when we get in the car and then am out...almost as if I have narcolepsy. I physically cannot keep myself awake. Plus the really sad part is that I don't want to...I hate the journey, give me the destination! Sleeping makes the time goes by faster plus gives you a slightly drugged feeling upon waking after 20 hours or so of unconsciousness. I saw a girl at a rest stop wearing a shirt that said "Irish I was drunk" and I wanted to say "oh sweetheart I wish I was drunk, too."
And now I am in a hotel near the Aberdeen proving ground chock full of military men and some oddly sexually attractive military women. I have a very sexy military man of my own so its all good, but he is away at training in Montgomery and will be gone for the next 5 weeks. Meanwhile all I can think about is sex and the lack of it for the next 5 weeks (plus last week for a total of 6 weeks). It is probably a good think that I am in a happily committed relationship and with my mother and not drunk. (I love you honey!!! Come home soon!!! I misses your kisses!!!) But I have some slutty friends that could do some real damage at this hotel and who would be very...let's use the word popular...here.
We had dinner at the Olive Tree...a weird copy of the Olive Garden except not as good. We even got salad and breadsticks with our meals, but um...hello, you aren't the Olive Garden and now my stomach is upset. It seemed to be popular...maybe because we are in the middle of nowhere Maryland and these people may not have ever been to a real Olive Garden.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Airplanes and ATL
Current mood: blessed
Flying to ATL last weekend:
A woman I work with (who is probably the most annoyingly cheerful person I've ever met--I almost feel guilty thinking she's annoying b/c she's so damn nice) swears I will not make my flight if I leave work at 11:30 for a 1:20 flight. Um, yeah...I'm just flying out of Sarasota. There's like 1 terminal. I think I'll be okay.
My sister drops me off, I check my luggage, go through security, and get to my gate IN 5 MINUTES FLAT. Of course I arrived in just enough time to pee, call my boyfriend, and board the plane, but works for me. I hate sitting at the airport.
Full flight, but I get an aisle seat. Am exhausted b/c I got no sleep the night before (not sure if it was b/c I was traveling, my boyfriend was at a bachelor party, or that his drunk ass kept sending me drunk text message which I totally appreciated and laughed hysterically at), but my seat won't go back b/c I am sitting in front of an exit row (even my selfish ass can see the wisdom in this).
Arrive safely in ATL. As we are waiting to get off the plane a man starts singing...singing hymns. He gets a handshake and an "Amen brother" from a man 2 rows in front of him.
I opt to walk the mile to get my luggage where I am picked up by a very nice young military gentleman. My honey thought he would not be able to get me and get back to the hotel before the wedding rehearsal (he was in the wedding). His hungover ass was laying in the bed when we got back to the hotel. If I could've stopped laughing at him being hungover I almost could've felt sorry for him (he's not a big drinker and this was only his 2nd hangover ever) except then I remembered they went to 3 STRIP CLUBS and I felt less sorry for him. lol
I nap (heaven) until its time to go to the rehearsal dinner and then, while most of my friends are going to the opening night of Sex and the City, we go to a laser show at Stone Mountain. Except that it was really awesome to spend that time with Paul (we were there about an hour before everyone and just laid on the blanket we took from the hotel and talked and cuddled) and then to cuddle during the show.
Saturday--wedding day! We went to the mall of GA with some friends for lunch and then by the time we got back to the hotel Paul had to get ready. I napped again. The wedding couple had a limo shuttling people from our hotel to the wedding site and when I went out to get the shuttle I was the first person so he took me by myself in the limo. And yes I am retarded enough that I texted everyone I know to let them I was going to a wedding in a limo.
Saturday night--let's just say we had a good time at the wedding and after the wedding back in our room.
Sunday--had to get up early to get to the airport. Got there 2 hours early and was through security in less than 30 minutes. Got my exercise walking the mile back to the terminal. Got an entire row to myself and slept like it was my job.
And now I won't see Paul for 6 weeks :(
But at least I'll get to spend time with my friends before I move to Valdosta!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
What happens in 9 months
Current mood:heartbroken
9 months...9 months...
So much can happen in 9 months. A baby grows and is born. A couple can meet, fall in love, and decide to move in together. A marriage can end. A friendship can be renewed. Life can change.
And a school social worker can fall in love with her students.
Its ironic that my job working with pregnant/parenting teens has lasted only 9 months. I've learned the names of 90+ students and 80+ babies. I remember the first 3 weeks of school and being incredibly stressed out, feeling like I would NEVER learn all my students' names, much less the names of their children. It just didn't seem possible that I would ever develop relationships with any of them.
9 months later and my life has been transformed. I have gotten the opportunity to watch students grow, both physically as their pregnancies progressed and as parents. I was allowed to be a part of their lives. They became a part of mine. I worked with incredible people and learned a lot about myself.
And in a way I feel like I have 170+ children now...9 months later.
And yet my heart is breaking...for my incredible 9 month journey is coming to an end and I feel like my whole life has changed.
5 days...5 days is all I have left with my girls (and young dads).
"Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to understanding
with the passing whisper of their wisdom.
Some people make the sky
more beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for awhile.
They leave footprints on our hearts.
And we are never, ever the same."
Monday, April 28, 2008
Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move on
Current mood: content
I bought a cheap watch from the crazy man
Floating down Canal
It doesnt use numbers or moving hands
It always just says "now"
Now you may be thinking that I was had
But this watch is never wrong
And if I had trouble the warranty said:
Breathe in, breathe out, move on
(Chorus)
And it rained
It was nothing really new
And it blew
Seen all that before
And it poured
The earth began to strain
Pontchartrain leaking through the door, tides at war
If a hurricane doesnt leave you dead
It will make you strong
Dont try to explain it just nod your head
Breathe in, breathe out, move on
And it rained
It was nothing really new
And it blew
Seen all that before
And it poured
The earth began to strain
Pontchartrain buried the 9th ward to the 2nd floor
According to my watch, the time is now
The past is dead and gone
Don't try to shake it, just nod your head
Breathe in, breathe out, move on
Dont try to explain it, just bow your head
Breathe in, Breathe Out, Move on….
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
No more road trips
Current mood: adventurous
I left my friend’s house in Huntsville around 2:30pm yesterday. It was about 10 miles to the interstate and because I missed the turn to get onto the interstate I had to go up and turn around. I saw a Starbucks and thought "No, I’m not ready for coffee. I’ll stop at a Starbucks later."
Get on the interstate, feeling good about the 6 hour drive ahead of me. Go about 4 miles and
STOP. Dead freakin stop. As in I turned off my car and got out and was able to get some sun and read a magazine stop. For 40 minutes. To go 1 mile and pass what had been an accident, but only 1 car was there. I wanted to shoot myself; however, I kept repeating my mantra "This is exactly where God wants you to be right now." Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and....at least I wasn’t in the accident. I did enjoy a milk chocoltae champagne truffel as I sat there and I did even process that perhaps law enforcement would frown on me consuming alcohol in my vehicle; however, as I was certain the alcohol in the champagne gets cooked off in the making of the truffel process I decided not to worry about and that I deserved some pleasure. As I sat behind the 1985 old school mini van with the bumper sticker that said "Don’t let the car fool you. My treasure is in Heaven." Hmmm....
After that smooth sailing except apparently Florida is the only southern state that feels Starbucks is a necessity because I did not see 1 Starbucks the entire rest of my trip even when I went through Nashville. I thought surely to gawd there would be a Starbucks in Nashville, but nope. And of course it was already rush hour by the time I got to Nashville so getting off the interstate to get coffee would probably have been a poor choice as I might never have gotten back in in all that traffic.
I did stop in Elizabethtown, KY for dinner at KFC/Taco Bell. And I almost adopted a stray cat, but it was gone when I pulled back out of the drive thru. The KFC was out of Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, and bbq sauce; however, the very nice high schooler who served me threw in a free order of chips and cheese. They came in handy because my chicken was disgusting and I actually left that for the cat and just ate the chips/cheese, mashed potatos, and cole slaw with my Dr. Pepper.
I wish I could’ve taken pictures of all the fascinating things I saw while driving...a billboard for "Big Jim’s Bodacious Boobies," a semi full of pigs, a vodka sign that just said "Happy Hour" (ok, I did take a picture of that because I was stopped in traffic), 3 cows lying side by side that looked like they were having a meeting, what must have been the 3 original houses in all of Alabama and people still lived in them (to call them houses is being really generous), the KKK crosses, the weird statue of a man on a bucking horse surrounded by confederate flags, the list of interesting things to see on the drive from Huntsville to NKY way surpassed the things to see between Valdosta and Huntsville (GA sucks).
And there was a cold beer waiting for me at Kelley’s. Although I kind of wish my chiropractor was waiting for me at Kelley’s because holy crap my neck is killing me. Given a choice I would’ve chosen the chiro over beer. (And Paul I only had 1 beer, watched Will and Grace/Sex and the City and went to bed...lol). The house next door to Kelley is for sale at a way inflated price because I’ve been there and no. However, it is nice to know that if other things in my life don’t work out then I have a 3rd option. And I’m currently looking out my bedroom window at horses cause my friend lives in a house on her parent’s horse farm. In KY. I thought I was going to get to help birth a foal last night, but I guess it didn’t happen cause Kelley didn’t wake me up.
Okay, should probably go shower. It’s freakin COLD here. Which means I get to wear my UGGS!!!!! And that makes me very happy indeed.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
I hate GA
Current mood: sore
After tearing myself away from my new boyfriend (Yes, I said it...boyfriend...kiss my ass bitches) this morning aka 2 o’clock in the afternoon (and approximately 2 hours after I had planned on leaving) I attempted to drive to Huntsville, AL. According to Mapquest an approximately 7 hour drive. According to the TomTom...maybe a little longer.
I navigate my way to I-75 WITHOUT passing a Starbucks (seriously disappointing) and begin my journey...for approximately 2 miles...when I came to a dead stop in construction traffic. FYI...there was NO ONE working on the construction and yet we had to be at a complete stop. It took me 45 minutes to go 20 miles. So after what felt like forever of this stop and go traffic (still without a damn Starbucks) we start moving again...for like 20 minutes...and then dead stop.
This went on for 4 hours. I finally see a sign..."Starbucks...Here We Are" and the exit numbers. Surely I have to be close to Starbucks (although as it was now past 4pm the appeal had worn off a little, but I was still determined to have a nonfat iced mocha no whip). Exit 169 cannot be too far. Hmmm...not even at exit 150. Okay, only like 20 or so miles. I can handle that. Except I got off I-75 at exit 155. Are you fucking kidding me? When I finally saw another Starbucks sign it was way late. Really GA...only 3 Starbucks in the entire state off the interstate system. I have 5 Starbucks in a 5 mile radius of my house...on the same road!
Oh, wait...another 2 hours of stop/go traffic. I did get to watch the planes landing over me at the Atlanta airport. And when I finally got to drive again...
POURING FUCKING RAIN WITH LIGHTENING!
Needless to say I have NOT made it to Huntsville b/c I was forced to stop at a hotel so I didn’t die in a fiery car crash.
So, be forewarned Gov. of GA...you will be getting a nasty letter from me telling you exactly what I think of your interstate system and lack of Starbucks in this awful fucking state. Prepare yourself.
On a positive note my hotel room is REALLY nice. Too bad my BOYFRIEND isn’t here to share it...
Okay, clearly I spent too much time alone in the car today...
Monday, February 11, 2008
My favorite time of the year, things that make guys look gay, and things you don’t want to hear
Current mood: bored
What are:
Girl scout cookie time (so right)
Skinny jeans on guys (so wrong)
"He showed me your picture...you have blond hair, right?" (from your man's drunkass female friend when he hatefully puts her on the phone because she wants to talk to you...FYI...NO ONE wants to talk to some drunkass that they've never met...I don't even like to talk to my own drunk friends if I'm sober)
"Can I lick you?" (from the obscenely drunk female stranger in the bar)
"Is this for your shower?" (picking up food for your friend's baby shower)
"It's rare to meet an attractive, single woman in her 30's who doesn't have children." (from a man who you just met because of work)
"Can you introduce me to your friend?" (3 times...by 3 different men...in 1 night...when your friend in question is a former NFL cheerleader...who has 2 children...who you just met...an hour ago)
Thursday, January 31, 2008
More on my neighbors...and kayaking!
Current mood: cranky
Two weekends ago my friend and I went kayaking...much to her dismay. Now she is a midget...she barely meets the height requirement to not need a booster seat in the car. So, we go pick up these kayaks from a kayak rental facility and the man there puts one on the roof of my SUV and the other thru the back of the SUV inside the car. As we are driving to the water, Midget says to me "what is going to happen if I stop paddling?" And so I reassure that she will not go spinning out of control if she stops paddeling. We go to where he tells us and we then have to get the kayaks out of and off the car. Midget can't reach the kayak on the roof of the car. And I'm screaming at her to "Man up" and try to help me and all she can do is laugh because I'm yelling "Man up." We finally get both kayaks out of/off the car and figure out how to put the paddles back together and drag the kayaks down to the water. For some reason I decided it would be appropriate to wear black cotton work out looking pants and a white tank top and sneakers no socks (and I wonder why no one ever hits on me when I am out in public) and Midget has an open kayak so she climbs in without any problem. My kayak is closed and I can't figure out how to get from standing shin deep in water to getting in the kayak with my legs into the kayak because every time I step in then I can't sit down. Finally I decide that I will try to get both legs in and squish myself into the seat. I step in the kayak, the kayak tips over, and now I have an arm and a leg in the water with the kayak on its side. Midget swallows her gum because she is laughing so hard. But since I am already have in the water it makes it much easier to get my other leg in and sit down. But now my pants are wet. We begin paddling out into the intercoastal and its going pretty good (minus our hysterical laughter and the jumping fish) and we go for about an hour. It's getting slightly cloudy and windy out so we decide it might be a good idea to turn around and head back. We mistakenly thought we were paddling against the current on our way there, but quickly realize (as it's almost impossible to paddle) that we are now in fact going against the current. Then we can't figure out how to get back to the dock. I convince her that we need to go through this opening in the mangroves and we do and...we are now in the middle of the intercoastal with regular boat traffic. So, now not only are we paddling against the current and wind, but we are also paddling against waves caused by boats. We come around the edge of mangroves and see the dock...way across the intercoastal. Midget begs me to wait for her as she is terrified that a boat is going to hit her. We finally make it back to the dock where 2 teenage boys watch us as we get out of the water. Drag out kayaks back to the car and cannot figure out how to get the kayak on the roof. We semi get it up there, stop at a light and notice half the kayak is hanging off the car, but really what are we capable of doing that is going to fix it. If we could've done it correctly then we would've done so in the first place. The first thing the guy at the kayak place says is "Did't y'all hear that scraping noise against the roof of the car?" As we drive home it begins to rain and we get to my house and one of my weirdo neighbors is pulling out of his driveway and slows to the point of stopping in front of my house to look at us...half soaking wet and covered with sand.
Now, my fight club neighbor who I thought was straight has had a gentleman friend staying over his house....and now staying over like he has moved in and not staying over like his drunk ass couldn't drive home Saturday night, but staying over like randomly during the week, washing his car there on Saturday day, and the other day staining a wood dresser in the yard. So, now I'm thinking my straight neighbor is really my gay neighbor and I have somehow become part of the Bermuda gay triangle with another gay neighbor across the street from me (that's okay because Midget is moving in with me and I am sure everyone will think we are a lesbian couple). But I am obsessed with knowing if these guys are straight or gay!!!
Then the hetero family on the other side who live next to the people I called DCF and the police on who live next to the sex offender are annoying the crap out of me! The wife says she is a flight attendant. I have never even seen her leave the house so I'm not sure when she is actually flying anywhere (except she did tell me she went to Paris a couple months ago). They have 2 dogs. You are home all day. My dogs get like 3 times that they actually can go out during the day...between 6:15 and 6:45am, between 4 and 5pm, and between 9:30 and 10pm because those are the times that I go to and from work and before I go to bed. What I don't understand is why your dogs, who apparently are out all fucking day, need to be out when my dogs are out so that they bark uncontrollably at each other? You are home ALL DAY! Your dogs can be out any time. You know I work because we've talked about it! Come on! Let your dogs go inside for a minute and relax. And I have rigged up my backyard to attempt the dogs from getting near the fence (did I mention her dog BIT my dog under the fence one day and I had to go to the vet and get her a little cast?) and you apparently have no concerns.
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood....
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Alcohol is bad
Current mood: exhausted
Friday was my last day of work for two weeks! Instead of enjoying that feeling on Friday I was too stressed out due to continuing work things that I needed to to do this weekend. Stress was not helped by a surprising phone call. Am completely full from having eaten my way through the week. No more sugar! Make plans to go out with Melissa. Try to take a short nap on couch. Go to dinner. 3 martinis later decide go go to bar. Having beers at bar and see my hairdresser. FYI...have hair appointment in the morning with said hairdresser. Encourage her NOT to drink. Am home and passed out by 10pm (not asleep, literally passed out).
Saturday...wake up with massive headache. Go to hair appointment. Hairdresser does not look hungover which bodes well for me. The $200 she charged me was well worth it. Head over to friend's parents for bday party. Arrive before friend. Have 2 glasses of wine. Feel a little tipsy. Find my way home.
Saturday night...Karin and Grady pick me up so we can meet our father and Frank/Donna/their kids for dinner. I used to babysit their kids...now one is getting married and the other is a father. Karin and I share a bottle of wine. Danielle and Jeremy ask if I'm coming to the wedding. Um, no bitches because you are getting married at a Sandals resorts and they are couples only, but thanks for reminding me that I am alone.
Go to bar. Arrive 11pm. Told Karin and Grady that I wanted to stay only an hour. Get a martini. Turn around and run into friends from high school (reunited and it feels so good). Ditch Karin and Grady. Order second martini. Am somehow talked into doing a yagerbomb. Karin and Grady decide to go to a different bar. Remind them to come back and pick me up. Have vodka/pineapple. Am pretty drunk. Meet some very cute Australians. Behaved myself. Yea me! Am convinced that I should have another yagerbomb (did I mention I hate yagerbombs?). Have to order another vodka/pineapple to chase that down. Am totally wasted at this point. My friend has very nice, fake breasts which we all got to see and touch. Sadly that was the most action I've had in months. Dance, dance, dance. Try to encourage other friend to make out with cute Australian. Dance, dance. The lights come on and I turn around and Karin is there telling me it's time to go home and it's 2am.
Get dropped off at home. Drunk dial. Vomit. Pass out 3am.
Wake up at 7am. Remember none of drunk dial conversation. Try to force myself to stay in bed, but the throbbing pain in my skull makes that difficult. Alarm goes off at 10am and I stumble into shower. Have to go to brunch.
Brunch. Cannot even drink my mimosa. Feel better after eating, but completely exhausted. Go get mani/pedi. Fantastic gay Vietnamese boy does my toes/fingers. Ask for Christmas tree on my finger. He paints some green blob and speaks in Vietnamese to coworkers. Am pretty sure they are making fun of me for green blob.
Drop toys off at student's house for her and her son.
Have to clean my disgusting house to get ready for my company. Am about to embark on about 2 hours worth of folding/putting away laundry.
Desperately want to go to bed. Need to learn that I am not 21 anymore.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
No sex for Jenn ever again
Current mood: indescribable
Today I helped deliver my friend's baby. She was induced at 7:45am and by 12:57pm little Abigail had entered the world. And I got to cut the umbilical cord and I cried and she is really cute.
HOWEVER
the delivery part was absolutely disgusting! It smelled bad, it was really really bloody, and I may never get the image of the vagina out of my head. I am sure my friend usually has a very nice vagina; however, today...not so much. I can definitely say if I was a lesbian I would never be able to put my head down there again without that image popping up in my head. And I have NO IDEA how a man would ever have sex with a woman again after seeing THAT. Because I may never be able to have sex or watch porn again. And it definitely has curbed my immediate desire to have a child. Or have sex. I may never be horny again.
And all that crap they feed people about the miracle of life and the beauty of childbirth is a load of crap because there is NOTHING beautiful about it. But if childless people knew that they would never procreate. The childbirth videos did not come close to preparing me for how gross it was.
But I do love me some baby Abigail! And I loved holding her while she slept with her little hand curled around my finger.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Understanding as to why I’m single
Current mood: drunk
I went on a date with my father tonight. It didn't start out that way. I only wanted to have dinner with him since I'm spending next week with my mom on vaca and he's spending the week with his girlfriend. But of course we had a bottle of wine at dinner and then decided to go to another restaurant that has a really great lounge with a piano singer for a drink which turned into 3 martinis for me. Let me recap the highlights of the evening for you:
The very cute manager of the restaurant walked by several times and made eye contact and smiled at me and all I could think was "I hope you doesn't think I'm on a date with this old man."
My dad recapping a story about his girlfriend which involved him spilling a drink on her and a waiter wiping her boob with a napkin which my dad felt was appropriate to mimic...ON ME!!!! (FYI...the MOST action I've gotten in several months...how so very sad is that and somewhat disturbing).
My dad telling me that if my friend, who is coming to visit me in December and whom I haven't seen since 1998, and I get drunk we can spend that night at his house and we can either sleep in the same room or separate bedrooms "No pressure." Um, okay. I don't even think I could do it now but thank you for your permission to have sex in your house. Can you lend me a condom?
Me relating something which ended in me saying that hopefully some day I'd have a child and my dad GIVING ME A THUMBS UP SIGN. No pressure.
So, yeah...so many reasons why I will just die alone....
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Relationships
Current mood: content
..> I was out last weekend with a friend who has known me since 9th grade and we were talking about all our old times and somehow the subject of my high school sweetheart briefly came up. I jokingly said, "I think that was the best relationship I've ever had." Her response, "I know. Katie and I have talked about that." It got me thinking.
Was my high school sweetheart the best relationship I've ever had? I certainly recall it with only good memories and we remained friends after that.
Maybe it wasn't the best...maybe it was the relationship that wasn't affected by baggage and drama and all that mess. Or maybe it was the best?
The relationships I've had since my divorce have all left me empty. My relationship with Greg was the best relationship I've been in since I got divorced. After we broke up some of my friends said, "You can do better." And that made me think...what if I can't do better? Because what is doing better when you are talking about a person? Out of the last 4 relationships I've had, Greg was certainly the best in that he could commit to me and was faithful to me. So, what if he is the best I can do and I blew it? My track record and choices I've made picking boyfriends does not lead me to believe I can do better.
Except now I know more and I know more of what I want. And I think I want that relationship I had with my high school boyfriend (except with better sex).
I don't want my baggage to affect my relationships. The baggage has to go before I can even think about a new relationship.
I'll put up with less meaning I won't stand for lies and heartbreak. "No boy is worth crying over and the one who is won't make you cry."
I want someone to hold my hand and stroke my hair.
I want someone to kiss my forehead and bring me hot tea when I don't feel good.
I want someone who doesn't make fun of me for crying over commercials or silly t.v. shows or movies.
I want someone who can kill spiders and cockroaches.
I want someone who is goofy like me.
I want someone who likes to read, but who likes to play outside, too.
I want someone who can tolerate me being a complete control freak, but who knows when to let me have control and when to take control himself.
I want someone who would be open to moving.
I want someone who can make me laugh and who gets my sense of humor.
I want someone who loves children and animals and who would stop in the middle of the road to save a turtle.
I want someone who has a nice family and understands that I need to be close with my crazy family because they are my world.
I want someone who likes my friends and who my friends like and who gets why I so fiercely love my friends.
I want someone who brings out the best in me and who I bring out the best in.
I want someone who likes to travel.
I want someone who wants kids and gets why I need to have my own and want to adopt, too!
I want someone who believes that it's important to help other people, even if they're strangers.
I want someone who sits outside with me to make smores in my chiminea even if it's cold.
I want someone who thinks I'm the most beautiful woman in the world and who tells me he thinks that.
I want someone I'm so attracted to that I just want to make love/have sex/do it/screw/fuck/jump his bones all the time and who feels the same way about me (and who knows the difference between all of the above).
I want someone who knows that it's okay to laugh during sex.
I want someone who looks at me and thinks "How did I get so lucky?" and who knows that I'm thinking the same thing about him.
I want someone who gets me.
I want someone I can trust.
I want someone who loves me and who I can love.
I want someone I fit with...to complement, not complete.
Is that too much to ask?
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
My top 10 favorite tv shows of all time
Current mood: bored
10. Paradise Hotel (only the BEST and cheesiest reality show of all times)
9. 90210
8. Twin Peaks
7. Boy Meets World
6. Angel
5. The O.C.
4. Dawson's Creek
3. Friends
2. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
And the 1 tv show of all times:
1. Sex and the City (of course!)
Sunday, October 14, 2007
I AM the neighborhood watch
Current mood: scared
Before you read this reference the blog on the missing snake because...
I was walking towards my living room just 5 minutes ago and I hear this blood curdling scream. It scared me so bad that I about peed on myself and then it happened again and I thought I was having a heart attack. To make sure it wasn't just kids playing I cracked open my front door and heard a woman screaming at someone and doors slamming and more yelling. So I peek my head around the corner of my house, but can't see anything except that the neighbor across the street had also come out to see what was going on. That was enough validation for me. I went back inside and called 911. Of course I have called 911 so often on my neighbors that I feel embarrassed to say my name and address. Actually I usually call non-emergency dispatch, but I felt that given the fright that I received from the screaming that 911 was justified.
I believe the screaming was coming from the same neighbors who lost their snake and who my father also witnessed the woman chasing the man down the street one afternoon while she screamed at him. They are the neighbors whose recycable bin is always overflowing with beer cans on recycling day. And it makes me sad because they have a really great son who is really polite and friendly and I hate to think of him living in that environment.
And considering I'm in my bathrobe and fuzzy socks I hope the sheriff deputy doesn't knock on my door. Unless he's hot. Of course I am NOT so impressive right now, but oh well. Okay, I'm going to go sneak outside and see if the cops came yet.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
My special place
Current mood: crazy
I am not even sure where to start. My crazy aunt and uncle are in town from Jersey. They have been friends with my dad for 40 some odd years (they aren't really my aunt and uncle). To add to that craziness my dad's girlfriend is also visiting. Let's recap Saturday night:
Have to go to baby shower in afternoon. Pick up food for shower from restaurant. Male restaurant employee asks me if I am having a party. I say "No, a baby shower." His response..."Oh, is it your baby shower?" I think I am most offended that he thinks I look pregnant.
But that is okay because when sister comes to pick me up for dinner she says I look like "white trash Britney."
Arrive dinner at 7:30. Wine begins to flow. Maybe 4 bottles between 5 of us over the course of dinner.
Everyone is a little tipsy. Dad's girlfriend makes an inappropriate sexual comment alluding to some kind of act she performed in the bedroom that had my father begging. I go to my special place. My dad says "I told you not to say that tonight b/c my girls are here." Special place, special place.
Dad and girlfriend are kissing at table. Special place.
Conversation I have since blocked from memory.
Girlfriend wants to tell me something "funny" but she can't tell my sister because Karin will be shocked. Girlfriend urged not to by aunt and uncle. DO NOT want to know what she wants to tell me. Also am uncomfortable wondering what she could possibly think I could be okay knowing that would shock my sister. Can NOT be good.
We all go meet my friend Yaya (aka Melissa) and her friends at a bar.
As we walk down the parking garage ramp to meet dad, girlfriend, aunt, and uncle they begin to catcall, yell, and scream. Am mortified.
Dad buys a round of drinks. Thank god because dad and girlfriend begin dirty dancing. I am in my special place.
Girlfriend makes another inappropriate comment regarding getting my father to dirty dance. God love her.
Dad slaps me on the ass. Realize this is the most action I have had in 2 months and most likely the most action I will have for the rest of the year and really to God knows when.
They leave. I continue to drink. Heavily.
Am dancing with one girl from group. In conversation she busts out with "When I worked in the NFL cheering for the Jaguars." Hmmm, my self esteem goes down about 50 degrees. Then in our dancing TWO separate approach me to find out if I will introduce them to her. Self esteem...gone. And not only is she gorgeous, she has TWO children, and is really nice. I could squash her like a bug. However, my breasts are real and fantastic and her's are fake. Yes!
Am wondering if my therapist can fit me in next week for an emergency session.
P.S. Pictures will be posted.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
My sister is awesome
Current mood: tired
Just because I had a bad night last night and she was worried about she brought me dinner from Carrabbas so I wouldn't have to go out, magazines, candy, an apple, and some fun Halloween stuff.
How awesome is she!
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Lucky
Current mood: happy
I've kind of had this attitude lately of OMG, I'm thirty, single, with no babies, and it's kind of been depressing me. I'm sure its compounded by the fact that all I do is go to baby showers and bridal showers.
But at the gym today I realized something. I am ONLY 30. Instead of focusing on my friends who are insanely happily married, I am going to focus on my friend's who are just insanely unhappily married. LOL
I can go out when I want, do what I want, and not have to worry who is going to watch my kids or what my husband is doing. I am going to focus on what I do have instead of what I don't have.
Do I want to meet someone, fall in love, get married, and have babies someday? Absolutely.
But right now I get to look forward to:
Friday night out with my girlfriend, an overnight trip to Orlando to see my college roommate and her hubby and some other friends, a week at the Biltmore Estate, a job I love, 2 weeks off at Christmas, hopefully many mini weekend trips, a tropical vacation in March, seeing family in Jersey, a fishing trip to Alaska, and next summer off!
I rock!
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Things I have learned about lawn tools
Current mood: geeky
Category: Life
Reference earlier blog on tilling.
*The weedwacker is not a magical tool. Although you must posess magic to get one started (at least in my case), it will not magically conquer the weeds you have allowed to grow 4 feet high in your flower bed. Especially have 2 days of rain.
*The lawn mower...also not magic. Can not magically cut through grass that is higher than your dog after 2 days of rain. Will stop itself and refuse to continue until the ground is dry. (at least we hope that is the problem)
*There is a reason the man in the picture on the weedwacker is wearing goggles, pants, and close-toed shoes. Weedwacking in shorts, a tank top, and flip flops without even sunglasses...let's just say not recommended. And I guess we now know the reason why they have to put a picture of a man wearing work appropriate clothes on the weedwacker.
*The weedwacker is a heavy and awkward tool. I am not strong enough to hold the weedwacker and start the weedwacker at the same time.
*My neighbors may or may not enjoy the view of my ass as I am awkwardly bent over the weedwacker attempting to start it while holding it against my stomach and with my foot while making sure that the twirly end is not going to hit anything.
*The twirly end won't twirl until you hold down the button that makes it so. Would've been nice to know before starting (see above).
*Dogs do not like to be chased by the lawn mower.
*My neighbors do not appreciate me singing Britney Spear's "Gimme More" at the top of my lungs while I mow my lawn. Especially since the only words I know are "Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more."
*My neighbors do; however, believe my lawn cutting skills are inadequate and freely offer their opinions on how I should mow my grass. They do not understand that I have a sick compulsion to do things in a circle. I cannot cut my grass in straight rows, but must instead work my way around the yard in a circle/square until I end in the middle. Weird, I know. Need your opinion...definitely not.
*I will contemplate forever why the pieces of plastic string on the twirly end of the weedwacker get smaller and smaller and yet I never see one lying around. I assume because they are being cut off as they weedwack; however, where do they go? Where do they go? Please just tell me.
Maybe I should higher a lawn service.
On a side note...yummy snack...a spoonful of peanut butter covered in M&Ms. Delic! And even Bill Cosby would not find the image of me standing naked in front of my mirror watching my belly jingle like a bowl full of jello cute.
Oooh, got to go...big lightening...very close. Yikes! Maybe I'll use this time to do some sit-ups.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Why do people commit to relationships?
Current mood: disappointed
Category: Romance and Relationships
I have to say that since things ended with my boyfriend that I have been very unimpressed with the male population. Although I guess women are equally to blame, but I seem to be coming across a lot of people who have no qualms about cheating on their significant others. Or maybe they question the morality of their actions and yet still choose to go out and cheat.
My question is this...why commit to someone if you know you can't be monogamous? Why stay in that relationship once you cheat?
And I can't pass judgement because in my younger days (aka high school and college and even a little beyond) I have cheated in relationships, but as I've gotten older I just feel that that is not acceptable anymore. If I don't love someone enough to keep the promises I've made (and in every committed relationship there is generally a promise of fidelty) then why do I think I deserve that person's love and compasson and their fidelity? I don't. If I can't keep the promises I've made, whether spoken or unspoken, then it's time to move on and, as much as it may hurt the other person, be the grown up and break off the relationship.
And for people who say they stay in relationships for their children...I say bullshit. As someone whose parents divorced just last month I can say that their staying together for the sake of myself and my sister DID NOT make our childhood any better. I actually think it would have been easier for both my sis and I AND our parents if they had divorced when we were younger. Perhaps then they could have had happier lives instead of fighting or giving us a lot of example on how NOT to compromise in a relationship. Children know when their parents don't want to be together or have weird, unhealthy relationship issues. And if you do end your marriage and have children then be grown up enough to put all that crap aside as best you can for the sake of your children. Be the example of how to get along like adults.
I have many many friends who are extremely happily married and then I have the friends who are in "relationships" that make me NEVER want to be in a relationship again. I'd like to say that I would never be in a relationship with a cheater, but at this point how do you ever even know if your significant other cheats and chooses to keep it from you? And if I am in love with that person and it was just sex perhaps I'd rather not know? Except that I would want to know because not only are you risking my health when you sleep with someone else you are also inviting a whole slew of crazy into our lives and it's just not fair. If you are unhappy enough to sleep with someone else then leave me. Break my heart, and let me move on with my life.
I don't know if I'll ever get remarried. I do know that if I did, it would have to be with someone who I thought I'd never feel the need to cheat on. I think I am so disheartened because the only people who friends could think to "set" me up with are people who are in relationships. Just because the person is unhappy or you don't like their fiance does not give you the right to try and force change in their lives. When they are ready, if they choose, they will make a change. If they don't then they will either be unhappy or they will adapt to their relationship situation. But don't use me that way. And have enough respect for me to not hit on me if you are in a relationship. Harmless flirting...yes. Flat out proposition...no.
My hope of finding someone decent to spend my life with is fading fast.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Time passes when you’re...alone
Current mood: indifferent
Category: Life
My afternoon/evening:
Got off work.
Went to gym.
Went to post office.
Was home by 4:15pm.
Let the dogs out.
Had a snack.
Let the dogs in.
Gave the dogs a bath.
Fed the dogs.
Did a load of laundry.
Cooked dinner (aka reheated leftovers from last night).
Ate dinner.
TIME CHECK--6:08pm.
Took out the garbage.
Let the dogs out.
Cleaned out a closet.
Did another load of laundry.
Used my spacebags to organize closet (FYI--spacebags are the biggest load of crap ever to be sold "as seen on tv")
Let the dogs in.
Cleaned out another closet.
Took out more garbage.
Talked on the phone.
TIME CHECK: 7:30pm
Wow. I have no idea what to say except that when you live with someone and then you don't anymore the silence in the house is deafening.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Snake
Current mood: nervous
Category: Pets and Animals
I arrive home from my baby shower and as I'm parking in my driveway I see that the car behind is driving really slow and as I walk around to the passenger side to get some stuff out completely stops her car. She then says:
"Our snake is missing. He's about 5 feet long. If you see him will you let us know. We live 2 doors down. He's tame so don't worry."
Um, okay.
And another lady who I believe also lives in that house sees me walking hesitantly up to my door and says "You have dogs right. We just don't want the dogs to kill it."
Um, okay. (My dogs together weigh less thn 25 lbs. I'm pretty sure the 5 foot snake has a fighting chance.) My response is "If I see it, you will hear me."
So then I remember that there is a foot gap between my fence and my other neighbors and what a great snake hiding place. So I put on my sunglasses and walk down to the neighbors to let them know they are welcome to come look and look thru my backyard. Of course the guy opens the door and it reeks of beer and possibly marijuana and he has a beer (I'm not judging cause it is almost 5pm) and he comes and looks.
Now my previous experience with these neighbors has been my dad standing in my front yard watching the wife chase the husband down the street while screaming obscenities at him and his drunk ass lighting off fireworks in the middle of the street on July 4th. And sometimes I pay their kid to wash my car or do some weeding. (I like for the neighborhood kids to like me so they are less likely to vandalize my house when they are older)
So, I definitely get how they are snake people. And I wonder why my dad wants me to move into a nicer neighborhood. My gay neighbor and his 20 years younger boyfriend are quite lovely (despite their naked hot tubbing activities--thank god for privacy fences). And the drug dealers moved out of their rental 2 houses down on the other side of me.
Living in the ghetto...
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
A bee in my pants
Current mood: sick
Category: Pets and Animals
I was on cafeteria duty (okay, I do it everyday) during lunch (it's not that bad, I sit and talk to the other social worker and guidance counselor for an hour) and I felt like something was crawling on my hip near my hip bone. So I kind of scratch at it, but figure it's just my pants rubbing against my leg. Then for whatever reason I put my fingertip inside my pants at my waist and FEEL SOMETHING MOVE and it was't me. I calmly go to the bathroom, unzip my pants, start to pull them down, and A FUCKING BEE FLIES OUT!
How the hell did a bee get way up there? At least I didn't get stung.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
How to get home
Current mood: happy
Category: Friends
My friend and I go out last night. I am not going to mention her name because I don't want her to die of embarrassment; however, I will throw her under the bus and tell the story.
Anyways, we meet at Gator Club around 9pm. At 2am we decided perhaps it was time to call it a night. I thought for sure at the start of the night that I'd be home at midnight. 2am is hugely late for me in my advanced age.
A funny side note--while at the club a guy she is dancing with gets her a stuffed animal and 3 roses. As I didn't see anyone sellig stuffed animals I have to assume he is some kind of magician and that he pulled them out of thin air. I also believe him to be a stalker (as he has since called her obsessively). FYI--don't give your number to strangers!!!
But I digress. It should not have taken my friend more than 30 minutes to get home and her house is pretty much a straight shot south on 41 to Venice and a right turn to her neighborhood off 41.
At 3am my cell phone rings. It is my friend. She is coming to spend the night BECAUSE SHE GOT LOST DRIVING HOME. To her own home. Yet she believes she will be able to find my house. That she's been to once. I ask her where she is and she's not far away. Now my home is 30+ minutes NORTH of her home.
3:10am--I call her. Where are you? "Whitfield." I assume she meant Whitfield and University because that would be on the way to my house. She apparently wanted a scenic tour of Palm Aire because she turned on Whitfield. 20 minutes later she arrived at my house.
So apparently when driving home AN HOUR AND A HALF ago she decided to make an unnecesary left turn in Nokomis. Which is not Venice where she lives. Instead then of turning right to go south and get back to 41 she felt it would be better to turn left and get on the interstate. She said she meant to turn around on the interstate, but did not notice any exits until University--4 EXITS AND 17 MILES FROM WHERE SHE GOT ON THE INTERSTATE.
Oh, friend...it is a good thing I love you cause that is some funny shit.
She did make it home today in case you were wondering.
Friday, September 07, 2007
Elementary School
Current mood: happy
I had a work training this morning and who is at this training, but my 5th grade math teacher. During the break I went up to him and said "Hey, you were my math teacher in a 5th grade." Now remember I just saw a middle school math teacher a couple weeks ago and she remembered me. He looks at me and says, "Yes, I remembered you as soon as you walked in. You haven't changed at all."
Well, I beg to differ. A lot of things have changed about me.
A) Boobs. I now have boobs. Fairly nice ones, too.
B) Um, unforunately weight. Although I am probably not much taller than I was in 5th grade I weigh substantially more. :(
C) No longer very good at math. That ended in 9th grade.
D) I'd like to think I was prettier with better hair, but now there's doubt.
I guess I still have my youth....
PS My neighbors fucking dog antagonizes my dog by barking at the fence. I am sure our other neighbors think we have some kind of backyard dog fighting ring going on. If anyone has any suggestiong on some kind of structure I could build that would not allow my dogs to get near our shared fence while at the same time reducing the amount of yard work I have to do I would greatly appreciate it . Thanks!
Monday, September 03, 2007
1 year
Current mood: peaceful
Category: Romance and Relationships
Today is both the 1 year anniversary of my first date with Greg and the day he is coming to get his stuff. So much has changed in the last year and I am nowhere near where I thought I'd be, but I feel I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.
In the past year:
I've fallen in love and learned to say goodbye with grace.
I've let go of someone I loved for a long time and learned to be happy for him in his new love.
I've let down my guard enough to have someone move in with me even though he's leaving now.
I've learned that it's okay for things to change.
My parents got divorced.
I met my dad's new girlfriend and it wasn't terrible.
I turned 30 and that wasn't terrible either.
I've learned I really want to be a mom. And that I'll probably be a pretty good one.
I've learned that it's okay to make mistakes.
I've learned to accept my mom for who she is.
I've learned that the job I've been waiting for WILL eventually arrive and it is as great as I thought it would be.
I've learned that I have the greatest group of friends, including my sister, anyone could ask for.
I've learned to be patient. And that I am strong.
I've learned that it's okay to grow up and to accept things as they are.
I know so many people who are going through intense periods of change right now. My heart aches on a daily basis for some of my friends and what they are experiencing right now. I just want them to know it'll all be okay in the end. The universe has a plan for us all and we just have to be patient and wait for that plan to unfold. And learn to live with dignity and grace.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
I’m hot (and 24)
Current mood: exhausted
I was at teacher training (again) today (despite the fact that I am not a teacher, but whatever) and this woman sees me, gets a big smile, and waves.
It was one of my teachers from MIDDLE SCHOOL! And she remembered me. So, we were talking and she said "How old are you now? 24?"
Thank you Mrs. Hess! You totally made my day.
And now I feel totally hot and beautiful and 24!!!!
Okay, I've made it to 8pm and I am going to bed!!! Greg (my roommate) went to bed (in his room) at 6pm he was so tired. I have to get up at 6am for work. Holy crap. This schedule is killing me!!!
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Personalized plates
Current mood: tired
So, I'm driving with my dad yesterday to go to lunch and in the left lane is a car with 2 guys in it. They pull slightly ahead of us so I can see their personalized license plate and it reads:
ILUV ANL
And I'm thinking "Dear God, please do not let my father see this license plate and ask me what it means. Please."
And he doesn't. But the whole time I'm thinking what weirdo puts that on their license plate!!! I mean I don't care if you do love THAT, but I don't want to know about when you drive by me on the road!!!
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
My dream man
Current mood: tired
1. Would make me confident in his love so that I knew I was the absolute love of his life.
2. Would be financially able to care for himself and ultimately do his equal part in caring for a family.
3. Would know how to argue and how to make up and never be willing to go to bed mad.
4. Would help around the house without being asked.
5. Would think I was the most beautiful woman in the world and would make sure I knew it.
6. Would never doubt my love.
7. Would be someone I could talk to.
8. Would share my interests and yet also show me new things.
9. Would be passionate about life.
10. Would risk everything to be with me.
Friday, July 13, 2007
A slap in the face or why I love Wal greens
Current mood: happy
The other day at work I was asked to pick up a going away card for someone so I drove over to Walgreens (well within walking distance and I have walked there many a time, but it was like 100 degrees out) so that I could have the added bonus of getting some Relacore PM (Walgreens is good for any crap you could possibly need). The rest of my time in the store goes as follows:
Take 20 minutes of walking up and down the card aisle before I finally see the goodbye cards...
Read all goodbye cards.
Pick out a card.
Find the diet pill section.
See Relacore PM on sale.
Rejoice! Debate also getting Relacore, but decide I am poor enough.
Decide to get some pumpkin seeds.
Look at Lipton ice tea. Am confused by new bottles and lack of words "without lemon" on the sweetened tea. Decide to go for it anyways.
Get in line to check out.
Cashier begins ringing up my products. Rings through Relacore PM.
AND THEN...
Stops. Looks at screen. Says, "Oh, under 27?" Looks at me.
AND WITH ABSOLUTELY NO PAUSE OR QUESTION SAYS "Nope."
And rings up the rest of my crap.
So, in the last final days of my 20's I am reminded by Walgreens that I am indeed...OLD! Bastards.
But I am going to see Harry Potter tonight!!!!
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Bob the Builder aka Jenn
Current mood: sore
Or rather Jenn the Builder. Yesterday my mom and I went to Lowe's to buy some lumbar because I decided I wanted to build a planter to house a vegetable garden. My backyard is a shithole so that negates just planting veggies in the ground plus my dogs are crazy and would destroy anything they could touch (hence the areas lacking grass in my backyard and the holes).
Mom and I drove up to Lowe's and I had this idea involving 2x4's; however, the helpful employee (Albert) at Lowe's assured me that using 2x6x12's would be better and cheaper. Essentially I believe he was correct; however, Albert was a talker. I now know all about bee keeping and feel I may take that on as my next project. Thank you Albert.
At one point my mom left us to go buy some sodas (that is how long we were at Lowe's) and Albert inquired as to where we were from. I replied Sarasota, but originally Jersey. Of course Albert is also from Jersey! What are the odds. He then proceeds to say he hadn't been back up there since after 9/11 when a family friend had 3 of their children die on 9/11. I didn't really have a response to that, but Albert immediately followed it up with,
"But I'll get my revenge." Which he whispered. To me.
And at that moment I was thankful that I wasn't from the Middle East and I also thought to myself "Mommy please come back." Because really what do you say that? Good luck just didn't seem appropriate. Albert then went into a story about how he tried to reinlist after 9/11 but the army wouldn't let him due some kind of injury involving his leg, a crushed foot, and facial trauma. I didn't ask questions and zoned out a little in an effort of self preservation.
I did feel bad for him because he had lost his job with a builder due to the extreme slowness of our construction industry in Florida right now and now is stuck working at Lowe's giving advice to jackasses like me who have no idea what they are doing. Although I also felt Albert may suffer from post traumatic stress disorder.
Finally we got out wood, but by then it was too late in the day to start anything. So bright and early today (okay 9:30am and 110 degrees) mom and I began my planter. After some confusion with the drills and not having them in the correct position to drill in (as opposed to pulling screws out--FYI you can totally drill in if the drill is in reverse position, but it's freakin' hard as hell) we finally got on our way and finished in under 2 hours (less time than we were at Lowe's). I've uploaded some pictures into my Garden album in case you want to see the beautiful (albeit lopsided) planter we made. No veggies yet though because I have to next buy soil and peat moss.
I have to go upload pictures onto my dad's match.com profile now. Yeah divorce and his inability to use the computer or figure out the internet. Did anyone see "Must Love Dogs"? I can guarentee that is going to be my life. Without the romantic, happy ending of course. :)
Monday, June 04, 2007
I heart NY
Current mood: tired
Category: Travel and Places
A quick blog before bed....
I just flew home from NYC tonight and I wish with all my heart that I was falling asleep in the city tonight amid the hustle and noise and smell and craziness. I love the city. To me it is magical and I am sure there is no where more exciting on earth. Here are some highlights:
1. My beautiful friend Nicole's wedding. She was a beautiful bride and so in love with her new husband. I am so happy that I got to share her special day and see her walk down the aisle.
2. Sex and the City tour. My most favorite television show ever!
3. Dinner in the South Street Sea Port followed by hanging out at Dave & Buster's in Times Square!
4. Spending time with my Grammy in NJ and seeing my aunt and cousins.
5. McCobb's hot dogs!
6. New York pizza!
7. I drove in the city! Into the city, out of the city, through the city. Yes, I safely navigated the perilous roads of NYC and didn't hit anything or anyone. I am so proud of myself!
8. United airlines losing our luggage and not only our luggage, but the luggage of our entire plane! Yes, we had a layover in Washington/Dulles and no one's luggage was transferred to the next plane and we all came from DIFFERENT planes. When we got to Newark and were looking for our luggage the lady says to me "Oh, you must have had a short layover...did you have to run?" And I said, "No, we had over an hour." At 9:30pm when our luggage still had not arrived at our hotel I called the number on the lost luggage form and asked the lady where my luggage was. Her response was "It will be delivered between 6pm and 7AM." I informed her that a 13 hour window was not acceptable and she needed to find out when exactly my luggage would be arriving as I had been up since 5:30am and wanted to go to bed. She became a little upset (okay, she may have been crying when we got off the phone, but I swear I only cursed once or twice) and promised she would call back. I gave her a 15 minute time limit and she did call back within 15 minutes and stated our luggage would be there by midnight. Having just gotten back I have not yet had time to compose my stern letter to United Airlines, but rest assured United...it's coming...
I think I ate enough for a small village in Africa and definitely need to get back on track with the healthy eating tomorrow and working out. I am a fatty! But it was so worth it!!!
Of course I also saw a homeless lady sitting on a bench with her pants and underwear pulled down peeing and several people getting arrested. Homeless people anywhere break my heart. I can't imagine such a lifestyle and am thankful everyday that I don't have to endure that. It is one of my biggest fears.
Greg, on the other hand, does not love NYC. I'm ready to pack and move tomorrow. Maybe I will.....
Saturday, May 19, 2007
SHOULD have been relaxing (but not so much)
Current mood: tired
Due to my recent relationship difficulties I decided to treat myself today...
After a sleepless night because my boyfriend did not care enough to call and say goodnight (and yes, I know I said I wouldn't get mad, but I said nothing about having my feelings hurt because damn it he should want to talk to me...how could anyone NOT want to talk to me???) I forced my lazy ass to get out of bed and go to a yoga class. After yoga I had scheduled an aromatherapy steam thingy and an 80 minute massage at the day spa next to my gym.
The aromatherapy steam thingy is basially a giant plastic unit with 2 plastic chairs inside. You sit in it for 20 minutes and enjoy breathing in a relaxing blend of aromatherapy steam. I was able to relax and enjoy for all of 2 minutes before I began wondering how much longer is this thing going to last. However, I do believe I sweat off about 20 lbs. in the 20 minutes so it may have been worth it.
I then dry off and exit in my too small barely will close see through bathrobe (and the lady thought the larger size would be too big...FOOLS!) and find Wayne the massager. If you reference my blog to chester the molester you will know why I am understandly nervous about a male massaging me.
Wayne and I go into his massage room and he tells me to get undressed and get under the sheet. Usually there is a blanket in my experiences; however, perhaps they felt I would be too hot after my steaming and that the see through thin white sheet was more appropriate. In my haste to get my fat pasty ass under the sheet I neglected to put on my panties. If it was a woman massager I wouldn't even have cared. 50 year old Wayne made me a little more nervous. So I spent the first 20 minutes of the massage wondering how he was going to sexually assault me and being thankful that I was so close not only to the sheriff's office, but also the police department (easy access for me to make my police report). My mind then became occupied by wondering if my breasts (which are fabulous) were sufficiently covered or if that was air on my nipples and does Wayne have an erection. I was too afraid to open my eyes and check (my nipples, NOT the erection). Wayne then moved on to my stomach and I felt perhaps having to massage my fleshy flabby tummy (I call it my pooch) would quickly do away with any indecent thoughts he may be having (but again WHEN did massagers start massaging people's tummies???? It just seems wrong!!! And makes me feel slightly uncomfortable and sick).
The rest of the massage I tried to force myself to relax and imagine I was on my honeymoon having dual romantic massages on the beach with my new husband. Which might have worked had I not become consumed by why my "loving" boyfriend still had not called me. (yes, I can get a little paranoid) I will spare you from the next portion of my day involving me and the telephone.
I should not be allowed out of the house somedays...
Friday, May 04, 2007
I am NOT the next Pussycat Doll
Current mood: rejected
We took my mom to see Christina Aguilera tonight. She is not my most fave so I had low expectations; however, I was very impressed. A) The girl can sing, B) she is smokin' hot, C) it was a good show.
I have made some additional realizations in my search for a new career as a result of the concert. I can now cross the following off my list of possible careers:
Member of Danity Kane...they opened for Christina and while they were okay as a group I am pretty sure I would never be able to get one leg into one of their skimpy outfits much less my entire body.
Pussycat Doll...Pussycat, pussycat where are you...Not in Sarasota that is for sure. At least not in Sarasota at my house. I am NOT the next Pussycat Doll. Not that I wouldn't like to be; however, the outfits they wore would look completely different on me and NOT in a good way. Trust me on this one.
Any kind of back up dancer or singer. As much talent as I think I have...well, I really don't.
So as sad as all these realizations make me, I guess it's good to give up my dreams now when I still have time to think of something else.
But we still had an awesome time and my mom LOVED it! And that was the best part of the whole concert. (and the 40 oz. beers they sold to go with my cotton candy).
Friday, April 27, 2007
I might need trauma counseling
Current mood: nauseated
"Some people exist just to be a lesson to others" were the words that my sister used at the END of the evening. An end that included a straw cowboy hat, 2 grapefruits, a Dixie Chicks cd, a Patricia Cornwell novel, and a new pair of sunglasses. Oh, and the trauma.
The trauma. The evening started off so promising. I picked my sister up and we drove down to our dad's house where we were able to share a glass or two of wine and good conversation before heading out to meet some family friends for dinner. Of course we arrived before our friends and chose to wait at the bar. 2 Bloody Mary's later and I was feeling pretty good. Frank and Donna arrived and we continued to sit at the bar. I felt it wise to pace myself and did not order another drink. Frank and Donna accompanied us to Alaska last year and to give you a rough idea of Frank and Donna....well, Donna refers to herself as "Donna do ya wanna" which she follows with "Donna always wantsta." We LOVE Frank and Donna. Frank is 12 years older than Donna and they met when Donna was....19. There is not enough space on the internet for our Alaska stories.
As we were sitting at the bar enjoying our beverages the owner of the restaurant (George) came over. Frank and Donna are regulars so Frank introduced all of us to him and George shook our hands. Awhile later George came back and kissed all our cheeks. George is from Massedonia (???). We finally went to a table for dinner and as we were on our way to our table we passed George who was sitting with another group. George felt the need to mouth to me "I like you." Did I mention George is my dad's age??? Thoroughly creeped out I forced (yeah, right) myself to enjoy the scrumptious food and shared in several bottles of wine. A little tipsy now and George comes over. We are the only party left in the restaurant. Of course the only open chair at our table is between myself and my father. Nothing will sober you up faster than a 61 year old man caressing your arm as he kisses your hand and whispers (so that no one else can hear) "I have a crush on you." My sister just saw his hand holding (as did the rest of the table) and her and I busted out laughing...her from humor, mine from fear. Then George proceeded to ask if I had a boyfriend, where he was, and when I informed him that he was out of town visiting his son George's advice was to dump him. Oh, did I mention that George has at least 6 children (that was all that was mentioned although Frank and Donna alluded to more) by 4 different women all over the world ranging in age from 1 1/2 to god knows how old (old enough to send his father $25,000 to pay taxes)? He then wanted to know if I lived in Englewood (thank god no) and why I lived in Sarasota. Apparently George is quite the ladies man because not only is he married, but he's also had several girlfriends.
And to top off my totally random night I left my sister's condo place at the same time as my exboyfriend (thank god we get along). But it did cap off a completely random evening.
If you look at my photos there is an album entitled "Fun with Frank & Donna" and that will explain it all. You can clearly see the progression from beginning to end. (Un)Fortunately I do not have a picture of George; however, we will be reunited next week at Frank's & Donna's daughter's graduation party. Yea, something to look forward to.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
My Fat Ass
Try not to keel over in shock, but...I joined a gym. Of course not just any old gym. I didn't go down and sign up at the YMCA, no...I joined the ultra yuppie gym for cool people. And why did I choose this gym you may ask. Was it for the high tech brand new equipment? No. Was it for the treadmills that have wood mats so they bounce when you run? No. (I'm not really a runner) Was it because I can look out the window at all the people walking on the street as I am on the precor? No. Quite truthfully it was because of...THE BATHROOM. The bathroom is like a freakin' day spa. It is nicer than my bathroom at home. And it has a sauna. And they give you big, fluffy towels to dry off in. And very nice shampoo, conditioner, and body wash.
And today I had my free body fat analysis, metabolic rate, personal trainer session. This is what I got out of it...A) I am a fat ass, B) I need to lose 30 lbs. so I don't develop diabetes (god help us all), and C) I have no shame. That being said because I had no problem lifting up my shirt so the trainer could pinch my fat stomach with the little jaws of fire as well as hiking up my pants so he could pinch my flabby thighs with my front of the leg cellulite. Oh, and I can no longer blame a slow metabolism because they checked that and my metabolism is actually quite high. That sucks.
I will say that since the gym is uber expensive it is NEVER busy unlike the YMCA in which I could never even find a free machine of my beloved precor. I can no longer afford to eat out since I joined the gym so this should help immensely in my weight loss.
Yeeehaww!
Monday, January 15, 2007
The Hospital
Why oh why did I eat sushi on Monday??? I usually love sushi and this time it bit me in the ass. A week ago I thought I had food poisoning. Yesterday I woke up so sick that I thought I was going to have to call 911. My poor sister had to come over, call my doctor, drive me there, and take me to the hospital. There was stuff coming out of me from every available hole. It was not pretty. Plus Karin had to clean out my garbage can. That is true sisterhood for you. Thanks sis!
Now, the hospital. I think the only way a person would get any rest in the hospital was if they were in a coma. These nurses were in my room every single hour. The one nurse tried to trick me by saying she would only come in at midnight and 4am to get my vital signs. Yes, SHE only came at those 2 times. An assortment of other nurses came all the other times..."can I listen to your belly?, have you gone to the bathroom, how do you feel?" I FEEL SICK BECAUSE I'M IN THE HOSPITAL. How do you think I feel? And I'm exhausted now because you won't let me sleep.
But my numerous IV bags of stuff helped and I feel much better today. So, yet again another story that begins with "When I threw up in the hospital." And I feel bad for anyone I work with because I'm sure our insurance rates will go up yet again.
And I know Greg truly loves me because he came to see me in the hospital and some of the words I would use to describe myself at that moment are stinky, grody, gross, bad hair day, bad breath and yet he still loved me anyways. He's so sweet! And he said he didn't sleep at all on Sunday because he was worried and he finally just got up at 4:30am Monday morning.
No more sushi for me though.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Looking for love or why going to Alaska was good
Current mood: content
Having just returned from Alaska and getting ready to try and sleep (Alaska is 4 hours behind and I woke up at 4am in Alaska this morning and spent all day flying, arriving in Tampa at 10:15pm our time) I realized something on my trip...
I do not need people in my life who aren't good for me. And if I continue to allow them to negatively influence me or hurt me then I am the one at fault, not them. They are just acting as they've always acted while I am allowing their actions to negatively affect me. So no more. Relationships end for a reason and I am not going to settle anymore. I would rather be alone than be with the wrong person. And I think I am learning more of what type of man I want to share my life with....
I want to fall in desperately, passionately, can't live without each other love from my toes through my heart and my mind. I want someone who compliments my life, but I'm not looking for someone to complete me because I am enough on my own. I want a man who is strong enough to catch me and is strong enough to let me be myself and who is secure in who he is without needing attention from other women or other people. I want to be enough. I want him to look at me like I am the only woman he has ever loved and to know that he would risk everything to be with me. I want someone honest and loyal and worthy of my heart. I want someone that it would kill me if anything happened to him or our love, but to risk it anyways just to be with that person for one day. I want to find a relationship in which we are content and happy with each other, but okay when we're apart to because we can trust each other at all times in all situations. I want to be able to disagree, but make up. I want toe curling, seeing stars, the best sex of my life sex with the man I love. I want a man's man, but one who can sniffle a little at sad movies and laugh at himself and be goofy and know when to be serious. Someone who would be a great dad (like my dad) and who shows his children what it means to be in love because he is in love with their mother and with them.
I caught a glimpse this week of someone who made me think this way. There's no way for us to have contact again. I don't even know his last name. And that is okay because he gave me hope and in giving me hope I realized that I'm not settling anymore. Dating is okay. It can be fun, but it can also be a chore and I'm not willing to waste any more time on the wrong relationships. No more drama, no more tears, no more bullshit. It's all in or fold.
And until I meet him then I'll just be hanging out, having fun, being at peace with who I am, and living my life.
Monday, August 07, 2006
The Fat Bridesmaid
Current mood: relieved
I have finally hit the wall. I simply cannot gain any more weight b/c I have become THE FAT BRIDESMAID! Yes, people it has happened as sad as it makes me to say it out loud. I was in a wedding on Saturday and the bride (who is one of my bestest friends from high school) is a size zero and the other bridesmaids were zero, zero, four compared to my size GIANT ASS. One of the other girls emailed me some pictures and there was one of myself with the maid of honor. I am literally TWICE THE SIZE of this girl in the picture. If I was not so utterly embarrassed I would post the picture, but to do so...well, I'd have to move to another country. Maybe this is why I can't meet a good man..not because I look bad (b/c I think I'm reasonably attractive) but b/c I post shit like this. Anyways, this girl (also named Jen) looks as if she could fit inside me. Not in a good way. I seriously look like I could swallow her whole. She is half my size in the picture. And we are sitting next to each other. So it's time to get serious about weight loss. I cannot go to another wedding and be the FAT, SINGLE BRIDESMAIDS. It's too depressing. So I did the only thing I could do in such a situation....I got completely friggin wasted. I'm talking waking up still drunk at 8am after being in bed by 1am. And I probably should apologize to my poor friend Sean who got the ever so attractive DRUNK DIAL.
PS Have you seen the previews for the movie "Step Up?" Didn't they already make this movie?
PPS I also realized that I am fully and absolutely single for the first time since I separated and subsequently divorced my husband. No dating, no friends with benefits, I got nothing and it's almost a relief except there is no one to make out with or cuddle with. Oh well.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Careers that are not for me
Current mood: happy
After surviving a sleepless night waiting to be killed by spiders or the kitchen terrorists of unknown descent I awoke on Tuesday UNABLE TO MOVE! And as I hobbled to the shower I realized that I can safely rule out the following careers:
1. Anything involving a tiller. This is not a good machine. After a brief period in which I passed out in the dirt, felt like vomiting, and recovered on my living room floor for 20 minutes I vowed never to till again. No good can come of it. I can still barely move my arms and have difficulty just opening my sliding door due to the excrutiating pain. Which also rules out
2. Farming. I have still not physically recovering from the above. This also rules out
3. Landscaping. Anything in which contact with wasps, cockroaches that live in dirt, things that fly into my hair, and (of course) SPIDERS is guarenteed pretty much guarentees that I will not be doing it.
So to sum it up...I am
A) pretty much a wimp (I wanted to use another word, but refrained after deciding it was inappropriate and slightly offensive)
B) lazy
However, if anyone knows of an animal that eats spiders and would be content to live on my lanai please let me know. I was thinking maybe some sort of lizard, but it can't be so large that its unable to climb up the screen to get at the ones near the ceiling or maybe like a mongoose. I appreciate it. Thanks!
PS I also applied today for a job with the Department of Corrections to be a Probation Officer. I wonder if I'll get to carry a gun. I'll keep ya posted.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Waiting with spiders
Current mood: hungry
This has been my day thus far (after having used a sick day from work for personal reasons as noted below)....
Wake up at 9am
Watch tv for an hour
Go outside to try and work on the patio that I swore I wanted...now a year later and still has yet to be completed. 12x12 blocks are heavy and I suck.
Become overwhelmed by the 4 rows that I have left to do and the sheer amount of dirt that needs to be removed and leveled before I can lay blocks down. HAVE A BRILLIANT IDEA!
Notice overabudance of scary looking spiders that have accumulated outside my lanai.
Go to Home Depot and RENT A TILLER. (FYI...I do not believe women who meet men at Home Depot. I have never met a man at Home Depot. Very often even the employees do not come talk to me; HOWEVER, this may be because when I go to Home Depot it is after I've started whatever project I am working on and am disgusting, stinky, and gross).
Spend 30 minutes of my 4 hour rental trying to start tiller. Almost break my back trying to control tiller. Am wondering why I chose to do this at the hottest part of the day. Feel like vomiting with heat exhaustion, but am determined to finish. Barely finish before having to go inside to pass out on floor next to dog cage (notice an incredible need to vaccum...gross).
Call pest control guy as I cannot deal with spiders for one more minute.
Shower.
Pest control guy comes and tells me I have brown widow spiders. Note to others: do not try to comfort yourself by looking up information on the internet. Phrases like "chance of death if bitten," and "more venemous than the black widow spider," and "each egg sac contains 200 to 250 spiders" is not comforting. Especially when I saw 5 egg sacs which is over 1000 little venemous spiders. At least now I know what bit me a few months ago--a deadly spider. Oh and I will never sleep soundly or sit in a chair on my lanai ever again.
Take out a 2nd mortgage to pay for pest control. Guy promises to send out someone today to spray for bugs (and more importantly kill spiders).
Have to return tiller. Spend 45 minutes trying to clean out weeds from blades (um, for future reference DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TILL CLUMPS OF GRASS AND 4 FOOT HIGH WEEDS. Become sweaty and dirty and disgusting again. Due to my lack of physical strength and now broken arms I can barely lift tiller into the back of the car.
Return my HD and scarf down a 2nd bowl of organic cereal. As I am in a wedding in 2 weeks and was supposed to be dieting all summer to fit into my dress I need to get serious...especially as my dress seriously may not fit. Am counting the seconds until this 1st day of dieting ends and I can go to bed to dream about food.
Pest control guy returns. My hero!
House painter comes and I pick out exterior paint colors. Yeah purple!
Countertop guy is supposed to be here at 4pm. It is 3:45pm. Phone rings. It is man for whom English is clearly a second language. I cannot understand him at all. Wait...it is the countertop guy and HE IS NOT GOING TO BE HERE FOR ANOTHER HOUR AND A HALF which would be 5:30pm.
Call company to complain as I took day off work for this. Regret calling as I remember story a friend once told me of his friend who had her carpet cleaned, called the company to complain the guy did a crappy job, and the guy came back and STABBED HER TO DEATH.
Am now waiting to be either A) bitten by a deadly, pissed off brown widow spider or B) waiting to be killed by a non-English speaking, pissed off countertop installer (although at least then I won't have to diet).
Monday, July 10, 2006
Pottery barn and other bitterness
Current mood: exhausted
I own a home. I think I have relatively good taste in home furnishings (not made apparent by my choice in clothing, but whatever); however, what is with my young, married friends living inside the pages of the Pottery Barn catelogue! I mean seriously. I went to a lunch on Saturday at the home of one of my Kappa Delta sisters. GORGEOUS! I live in white trash America and she lives on the water and she is only 3 years older than me. Now granted I love my drug dealing, sexual offending neighbors, but given the choice...I would choose the water. She isn't right on the water. It is at the end of her street 3 houses down from hers. Let me describe my home and then her home. My home is all one color on the outside except for the white garage door and burnt red front door...the rest is beige. My gardening leaves a lot to be desired. I thought it would be cute to have a multitude of different planters filled with different plants out front instead of actually planting things in the ground...except now my planters are filled with dead plants. I barely mow my lawn. My backyard is a barren, desolate wasteland. I have actually written to Oprah begging for a new backyard. I have started a brick patio. I have not yet finished it (despite having started it a year ago) and it slightly resembles a roller coaster track as it is not flat at all. When I bought the house I thought it would be a good idea to paint the inside entirely in shades of purple except my kitchen which was supposed to be sage green and turned out mint green and my bedroom which is 3 shades of pink. I have also hung my own artwork...I cannot paint though which some may see as a problem. Not me though. My friend on the other hand....Pottery Barn showcase. From her real wood floors (I have wood laminate), to her beautiful furniture which matches, to her garden, to her decks (yes, decks plural). I have finally started to organize my office (and by organize I mean filed some papers and threw the majority of shit away). Her office is gorgeous and even fits a loveseat! I have 50 million books and an office chair still in its original box that needs to be put together. Oh well. At least if I need some pot I can walk down to my neighbors...Bet she can't do that!
PS I played tennis tonight...can we just use the words fat and out of shape and that pretty much sums up the experience from my end...off to enroll in Nutri System...
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Needing what you want and wanting what you need
Current mood: relaxed
I have been thinking about time and reality and life. I just finished watching Nanny McPhee (yes, I cried at the end). It did make me think about "when you need me, but don't want me I'll stay and when you want me, but don't need me then I'll go." And how that translates into real life. I finished reading The Time Traveler's Wife last night (yes, I cried at the end) and after both of the above I wondered how life would change if you could test out different options before choosing the path you wanted to wander down. Most people would choose their ideal life, the life that they were the most happy in as their path. But how does that affect others? Maybe I choose the path in which I perceive myself as happiest in a relationship. My happiness with my love may have caused profound sorrow in another person's life for whatever reason. Maybe being together at that point in time goes against the natural order of time and reality. Maybe we weren't meant to be together. If I had the choice on my own it may alter the destiny of others and those around me. I think it's best to leave things unknown. I believe that the universe places you exactly where you need to be at every moment in time. We have the option of subtle choice, but sometimes those subtle choices made from a place the universe has directed us have incredibly big consequences good or bad. Everything in life happens for a reason and yet I may never know the reason. In difficult times it is hard to remember that. I believe in fate and destiny and soulmates and reincarnation. I believe that every person that touches your life is someone you knew in a past life. There are lessons to be learned and yet we often choose to ignore the lesson in favor of control, control over our lives and our destinies. If things are meant to be they will be and if not then something else will come along. So much to do and yet life is over in the blink of an eye. Second chances? Who knows? Would I change things in my past if I could? Probably not because I have no way of seeing the far reaching consequences of those changes and perhaps I am only where I am today because of where I was before. I may not always get what I want, but I will always get what I need out of life. I just need to be patient and have a little faith.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
A True Hero
Current mood: grateful
Watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition got me thinking about heroes and what it means to be a hero. This weekend I was in Orlando and was invited by my friends to attend a block party on their street. At first I just thought it was a party...no special occassion or anything...just something the neighborhood association was putting on. As neighbors started to congregate in the blocked off street I heard one person telling people to sign a card for Larry and another person talking about a proclamation. I had to ask my friends what the party was for. It turns out that on April 16th, Easter Sunday, a 72 year old woman named Jerry Smith was brutally attacked by a transient man. He forced her into her home and began stabbing her. It was 8pm. 65 year old Larry Haydon was out walking his dog when he heard the woman screaming. He ran into the house and attempted to fight off the attacker. Larry himself was stabbed in the stomach lacerating his liver attempting to save his neighbor from her attacker. When Larry knew he couldn't do anything more he stumbled outside, went to a neighbor's home, and summoned help. When EMS arrived Larry was lying in the grass. Before allowing EMS to begin medical treatment he told them to go into the house and help Jerry. The attacker fled, but was later apprehended. Jerry died in the hospital and Larry spent almost a week recovering in the hospital. The assailant was indicted last week on charges of first degree murder, attempted first degree murder, and burglary with battery. The block party was to declare May 20th Larry Haydon day in Orlando, FL. The Mayor of Orlando, 2 city commissioners, and the Chief of Police attended along with 5 news stations and 2 newspaper reporters. Larry was honored with a proclamation and a plaque from the city of Orlando. Jerry's family attended as well. It was truly the type of occassion that brings tears to your eyes. To see a neighborhood rally together to honor one of their own after a terrible tragedy was amazing. In a society where the value of a neighborhood has deteriorated over the years, where people don't know their neighbors, don't talk to their neighbors, and keep to themselves seeing the Delaney Park Neighborhood honor their neighbor allowed me to see that despite all the craziness and nastiness in the world, good people do still exist, people do still care about others, and people do come together to help each other. And I began to wonder...would I have been so brave? Would I race to the rescue of my neighbors if I was in that situation? I honestly can't say. I would like to think I would, but I truly don't know if I am that brave. So Larry thank you for letting me be a part of your day. I am deeply honored that I had the opportunity to meet a true hero.
Friday, May 12, 2006
Overcoming fear and heartbreak
Current mood: scared
I did it! I went to a baseball game and I survived. I didn't get hit with a ball, there was no ambulance ride, nothing. It is amazing how the body works though. I felt a little panicky before the game and wasn't sure if I'd be able to go because of it. I tried to remain calm driving to the game, but as we got near the stadium and as I was walking into the stadium my body took over and I really felt like I might have a panic attack. My heart was pounding, my chest felt tight, I couldn't breath. It was classic fight or flight. Amazing! I was definitely afraid and anticipated the worst. And we ended up watching the game with one of the security guards who had assisted me the night I got hit with the ball and taken to the hospital! He is friends with prosecutor. Everyone with us knew the story and joked about the whole situation. It took a few innings to calm down and while I wouldn't say I ever relaxed I definitely was able to eventually enjoy the evening. I'm glad I went.
On the heartbreak note...I talked to my mom tonight and she started to cry. My parents are getting divorced after almost 32 years of marriage and my dad moves out next weekend. I can't be there for that. I remember how hard it was to watch my exhusband get into his car and drive away when we got divorced and I can't watch my parents go through that. I told my mom that when she asked if I was going to come over and help my dad move (hell no...I'm going to Orlando for the weekend). I hate hearing her cry though and when she said that she didn't understand how my dad could just decide he didn't care about her after 31 years it about broke my heart (although that is not the case at all--there was a lot of other things going on and neither one of them was willing to change). I don't want my parents to be divorced. Even though they fought, they have always fought, and I thought we'd always be the family who would stay together forever. Now every holiday or special event I think "this is our last Easter as a family, this is our last Mother's Day as a family." And it scares me to think that you can be with someone for so long and then have it be over. How do you start over? How can you risk that? How do you survive and recover?
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Moving on....
Current mood: nostalgic
What do you do when your exhusband emails you that he's getting remarried and you haven't even been divorced a year yet? I have to admit that I got a little teary eyed when I read his email. By all means I am happy for him and hope that his new life is everything he's looking for. I think my tears were more for me (and maybe a little because he's moved on so quickly and easily). I don't feel anywhere near ready for a new relationship and I think that most people need time between relationships to heal. I do not feel that I've healed yet. Even my former sister in law who got divorced from my ex's brother the same time we did is already getting remarried and her husband cheated on her! How do people move on so quickly?
I sometimes feel as if I rushed into my life, trying to be a grown up before I was ready (getting married young, etc.) and now when the rest of my world (aka the people in my world) are ready for the next step I've taken 4 steps backward. But I like to be alone. I like to do what I want when I want and come home alone at the end of the day and lounge around and be gross and not have to worry about what someone else is thinking. I think my desire to be selfish directly contributed to my divorce.
Yes, I've dated (mostly bad, some good...okay, 1 good), but I haven't met that "one," that person I can allow into my life, who I can trust 110%, who I'm willing to share my life with. I want someone to compliment me, not complete me. How do you know when you do meet that person? I guess it is just right and I guess once I get there I'll know. I think the first months of a relationship should be the easiest part of the relationships and I haven't had that yet. I've had only drama and it shouldn't be that way. But I honestly feel that as scary as it may seem that my life will be okay if I never find that person. I don't want to settle. I want magic and excitement and passion and deep enduring friendship and love and I don't feel I should give up those things just to be married or in a relationship. Plus I am not even sure where I want to live...how can I commit to a relationship? I can't even commit to a city!
Oh relationships...why do they seem so easy for some and so very hard for others?
Thursday, February 16, 2006
boys
Current mood: happy
"No boy is worth crying over. And the one who is won't make you cry."
--Sarah Kane, age 10
It is amazing to me how often I forget the above.
Monday, February 13, 2006
The World's Shortest Fairy Tale
Current mood: hopeful
Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy "Will you marry me?" The guy said,
"No" and the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing,
had
friends, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook and
farted whenever she wanted.
The End.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
what a girl wants...
Current mood: amused
I am so so tired of guys emailing to say "You're hot." Yes, I can appreciate that; however, you don't know me. Do not think that an email that consists of the words "hot" or "gorgeous" is flattering to a woman (or at least to this woman) or is going to get you anymore. Women want men with a little class, who can be someone's friend before assuming that there is going to be anything else. So for all you guys out there who send random emails to strangers thinking that you are flattering them...grow up...it's not flattering...it's creepy, sleezy, and weird and that is why you're alone sending emails to strangers instead of with the girl of your dreams. This is what we are looking for...Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, one who calls you back when you hang up on him, and will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you're in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."
