TLC has a show called Extreme Cheapskate. We don't have cable right now so we watched about 25 episodes of this show on Netflix the other day. The Learning Channel did it's job. I learned something about being a cheapskate. All the extreme cheapskates have many quirks in common. I'm now going to teach you how to become an extreme cheapskate.
1) Being a cheapskate means you have to forgo toilet paper. Toilet paper is a waste of money. That's right...a waste of money! Now how you can deal with your bodily wastes varies. One woman chose to pee into an apple juice bottle, which she kept next to the toilet, which she then used in her composting. Several people chose to use just soap and water.
2) You can't flush the toilet. You can save your shower water and then use that to flush the toilet. Apparently you can save 30 whole dollars a year this way. You can also just flush the toilet once per week.
3) You have to wear the same clothes that you bought in 1983. Don't worry about the elastic being stretched out. You just get yourself a binder clip and use that to hold your shorts up. Don't worry about your clothes matching either. They won't. Plan on going to thrift stores that sell clothes to raise money for their charity and offering to pay way less than the $5 price tag. Act surprised when they don't accept your offer.
4) You have to eat food out of dumpsters. It's called dumpster diving. Wear gloves. Just ignore those bugs. You can wash that shit off. Just remember to dress up like a homeless person so that grocery stores are less likely to chase you off. It's easy to do since all your clothes from 1983 now have holes in them.
5) You cannot use your appliances for their stated purpose. One woman thought paying $17 a month for gas was a waste of money so she bought a 2 burner electric stove to cook her dumpster dive food. This way you can use your appliances for storage. And the dishwasher can also double as a washing machine. Just throw your clothes in with the 2 dishes you have.
6) You cannot buy furniture. Dumpster dive is the way to go. One woman furnished her entire apartment in NYC with furniture she had gotten from dumpsters.
7) You have to have a very low sense of personal cleanliness. Showering and washing clothes separately wastes a ton of money so you wear your clothes into the shower, soap them up, and then hang them up to dry. You can make your own deodorant out of corn starch and coconut oil or you can use corn starch to cover your entire body to keep cool (sort of like how an elephant uses dirt) because you can't have air conditioning.
8) You cannot pay for things. Any things. You may be a millionaire, but you never get to enjoy your money because you are cheap.
9) You have to be able to forage for your own salad fixings from local parks and your backyard. You may not find lettuce, but you'll find at least 3 other edible weeds to mix together. Wash the animal pee off and you have a fantastic salad.
10) If someone offers you a free place to live or stay you take it. It doesn't matter if it's a mattress under a bridge, if it's free then you are sleeping or living there. Ignore the asbestos walls, lead paint, or 1960's decor. Cheapskates can't be choosy.
11) You have to border on being a hoarder and you can't clean or organize anything in your house.
12) Hang a clothes line up in your house. Use it to dry paper towels so you can reuse them, hang up dental floss to reuse, reuse coffee grounds/tea bags 6 times, etc. A clothes line in your house is a versatile place to store things.
13) You have to let go of any sense of personal pride or self respect. People will think you are weird and/or crazy or both what with your 1983 clothes with the holes in them and your lack of showering. That's okay. They don't appreciate any of what I've said above. You won't have to worry about it for long because eventually you won't have any friends. People tend not to come over for dinner when they know you'll be serving dumpster dive food. More for you that way! Plus then you don't have to listen to complaints about how hot your house is from your lack of air conditioning.
And remember...free is the way to be!
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Honey Badger is to baby as a king cobra is to _________________________
Breastfeeding. The answer is breastfeeding. Let me break it down for you.
1) Much like honey badger, baby don't care. She just don't care.
2) Honey badger eats cobras and will relentlessly pursue the cobra. This is how I feel when I pick up the baby. It's like being attacked by a honey badger. She is going to get a boob in her mouth and she isn't going to stop until she wins.
3) Much like the bite of the cobra can knock out honey badger temporarily so can breast milk knock out the baby. Temporarily. Very very temporarily.
4) Eat, sleep, poop...this applies to both honey badger and baby.
5) Much like the honey badger, the baby sleeps in whatever awkward position she lands in.
6) Both baby and honey badger eat constantly. As in all the time.
7) Honey badgers and babies...they just take what they want. And poor boobies and cobras are the ones to suffer!
5)
1) Much like honey badger, baby don't care. She just don't care.
2) Honey badger eats cobras and will relentlessly pursue the cobra. This is how I feel when I pick up the baby. It's like being attacked by a honey badger. She is going to get a boob in her mouth and she isn't going to stop until she wins.
3) Much like the bite of the cobra can knock out honey badger temporarily so can breast milk knock out the baby. Temporarily. Very very temporarily.
4) Eat, sleep, poop...this applies to both honey badger and baby.
5) Much like the honey badger, the baby sleeps in whatever awkward position she lands in.
6) Both baby and honey badger eat constantly. As in all the time.
7) Honey badgers and babies...they just take what they want. And poor boobies and cobras are the ones to suffer!
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Give Back Yoga Foundation
Everyone once in awhile something gets brought to my attention and I think wow, that's pretty amazing...this is one of those times.
The Give Back Yoga Foundation was started by a former World Bank project manager who decided to do something different with his life. The Give Back Yoga Foundation states that 1 in 3 soldiers deployed to the Middle East return with serious mental health issues, such as depression, traumatic brain injury, and PTSD. That is a scary and sad figure.
Their goal for the upcoming year, "To bring our Yoga For Veterans Toolkits, developed by expert teachers with years of experience in working with soldiers with post-traumatic stress, to at least 10,000 veterans across the country."
The website is pretty amazing and I urge you to head over there and check it out. They have tons of great projects going on. The practice of yoga can have a profound impact on a person's life and here is one organization working to use that practice to change lives.
Namaste!
The Give Back Yoga Foundation was started by a former World Bank project manager who decided to do something different with his life. The Give Back Yoga Foundation states that 1 in 3 soldiers deployed to the Middle East return with serious mental health issues, such as depression, traumatic brain injury, and PTSD. That is a scary and sad figure.
Their goal for the upcoming year, "To bring our Yoga For Veterans Toolkits, developed by expert teachers with years of experience in working with soldiers with post-traumatic stress, to at least 10,000 veterans across the country."
The website is pretty amazing and I urge you to head over there and check it out. They have tons of great projects going on. The practice of yoga can have a profound impact on a person's life and here is one organization working to use that practice to change lives.
Namaste!
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Fall in Love with Thirty-One!
Hello friends!
I would love to share with you the fall catalog from Thirty-One! If you would like your very own copy,
please complete the very brief survey by clicking the link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/
When you complete this survey, you will get a fall catalog in the mail and be entered in a drawing for a FREE
product plus have a chance to earn the SPECIAL INCENTIVE below!
The last day to order from the fall catalog will be Friday, December 20th! Don't miss out on all the beautiful patterns and products in this catalog!
SPECIAL INCENTIVE- When you schedule and hold a party with me
between November 1st and December 1st, I will send you a FREE Snowman Icon
Coin Purse to you - it's one of my favorite new products!
It is super cute and will make the perfect Christmas present!
Thank you for allowing me to be your Thirty-One consultant!
Jenn McArtor
Independent Consultant
www.mythirtyone.com/jennmcartor31
The views expressed on the blog or website are mine alone and don’t represent views of Thirty-One.
I would love to share with you the fall catalog from Thirty-One! If you would like your very own copy,
please complete the very brief survey by clicking the link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/
When you complete this survey, you will get a fall catalog in the mail and be entered in a drawing for a FREE
product plus have a chance to earn the SPECIAL INCENTIVE below!
The last day to order from the fall catalog will be Friday, December 20th! Don't miss out on all the beautiful patterns and products in this catalog!
SPECIAL INCENTIVE- When you schedule and hold a party with me
between November 1st and December 1st, I will send you a FREE Snowman Icon
Coin Purse to you - it's one of my favorite new products!
It is super cute and will make the perfect Christmas present!
Thank you for allowing me to be your Thirty-One consultant!
Jenn McArtor
Independent Consultant
www.mythirtyone.com/jennmcartor31
The views expressed on the blog or website are mine alone and don’t represent views of Thirty-One.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Fashion Challenged
It becomes more apparent to me every single day that I am fashion challenged. As in Stacy and Clinton would throw away ALL MY CLOTHES AND SHOES and they would STARE AT ME WITH PITY AND UNADORNED DISGUST. Living where we currently are has only made it more apparent how seriously awful I have become at dressing myself.
For example, I went to get a coffee last week at a little coffee shop. In the coffee shop was a fabulously dressed gay man with a Louis Vuitton bag for his laptop, a college girl with 2 different shoes on...2 DIFFERENT SHOES...when the f*ck did that become the style? Is that the style? Did I miss something? They were the same color hue, but different shoes. I was so confused. And then another girl came with in the cutest dress with a scarf and boots.
People in our town are all about the brown boots. Sadly, I went and bought a pair just to fit in. Granted I am too fat to wear them with tiny dresses or leggings, but that didn't stop me from buying leggings at which I shuddered because my belief has always been just because they make leggings in your size does not always mean you should wear them and here I am...horrifying the world with my legs...in leggings. Big ole leggings. And not even fashionable leggings (because those most definitely don't come in my size), but the kind they sell at Target or as seen on tv by the people that make the genie bra (which rocks by the way).
Now I went to a pretty ritzy college and those kids ain't got nothing on these UVA students. I have never seen college students so dressed up. Hello. You are in college. Why are you wearing a suit and tie? Where are your sweatpants? Why are you in a dress (and not the Lilly Pulitzer crap that girls at my college wore, but like super stylish with the boots)? Where are your flip flops? Why are you not hungover?
Even the other moms in my bible study group show up looking cute with their braided hair and scarfs and boots and jewelry and hair done and good personalities. I look like the Dobby the house elf dressed me out of his closet after he had a schizophrenic break down.
So as much as we love it here, we can't retire here because my self esteem couldn't handle it.
Sigh...
For example, I went to get a coffee last week at a little coffee shop. In the coffee shop was a fabulously dressed gay man with a Louis Vuitton bag for his laptop, a college girl with 2 different shoes on...2 DIFFERENT SHOES...when the f*ck did that become the style? Is that the style? Did I miss something? They were the same color hue, but different shoes. I was so confused. And then another girl came with in the cutest dress with a scarf and boots.
People in our town are all about the brown boots. Sadly, I went and bought a pair just to fit in. Granted I am too fat to wear them with tiny dresses or leggings, but that didn't stop me from buying leggings at which I shuddered because my belief has always been just because they make leggings in your size does not always mean you should wear them and here I am...horrifying the world with my legs...in leggings. Big ole leggings. And not even fashionable leggings (because those most definitely don't come in my size), but the kind they sell at Target or as seen on tv by the people that make the genie bra (which rocks by the way).
Now I went to a pretty ritzy college and those kids ain't got nothing on these UVA students. I have never seen college students so dressed up. Hello. You are in college. Why are you wearing a suit and tie? Where are your sweatpants? Why are you in a dress (and not the Lilly Pulitzer crap that girls at my college wore, but like super stylish with the boots)? Where are your flip flops? Why are you not hungover?
Even the other moms in my bible study group show up looking cute with their braided hair and scarfs and boots and jewelry and hair done and good personalities. I look like the Dobby the house elf dressed me out of his closet after he had a schizophrenic break down.
 |
| Them |
 |
| Me |
Sigh...
Friday, October 11, 2013
Monday, October 7, 2013
WTF Hannah Montana
And if you are still reading and haven't jumped out the highest floor you have in your house to get those images out of your head then check this out http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/what-miley-cyrus-was-trying-to-do-at-the-vmas-vs-what-miley.
Oh, Miley. You are the train wreck we can't stop watching. I sort of wish a wrecking ball would hit me in the head though so I can get the images of your video out of my head.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
The Best Gifts
As I left yesterday to go do a Thirty-One party for a friend, I was holding my toddler and hugging her goodbye. I felt something sort of splashing on my feet as she says, "I peed." I look down and urine is dripping down her legs onto my feet.
Nothing says I love you mom like a golden shower. The best gifts don't come from the heart...they come from the bladder.
Friday, October 4, 2013
Stellar Parenting
You know you're a mom when there is urine in the console of your mini van.
Yesterday, sitting in the van in the Target parking lot, nursing the baby, the toddler climbs up onto the console between the front seats. She then proceeds to fall off backwards onto the floor. As she is falling I notice a huge puddle on the console. Her pull up had leaked, soaking her dress, and dripping down her legs as she stood up.
I tell the toddler to get a baby wipe and clean up the pee. She does and then wipes her face with the same wipe that she just used to clean up pee.
I finished nursing the baby, wiped the toddler down with a baby wipe, dislocated my shoulder trying to kill a bee that I saw in the back of the van, threw the toddler in the back of the cart, and off we went into Target.
I am kicking ass at this parenting shit!
Yesterday, sitting in the van in the Target parking lot, nursing the baby, the toddler climbs up onto the console between the front seats. She then proceeds to fall off backwards onto the floor. As she is falling I notice a huge puddle on the console. Her pull up had leaked, soaking her dress, and dripping down her legs as she stood up.
I tell the toddler to get a baby wipe and clean up the pee. She does and then wipes her face with the same wipe that she just used to clean up pee.
I finished nursing the baby, wiped the toddler down with a baby wipe, dislocated my shoulder trying to kill a bee that I saw in the back of the van, threw the toddler in the back of the cart, and off we went into Target.
I am kicking ass at this parenting shit!
Monday, September 23, 2013
Day 2
I just finished my T25 cardio since I am supposed to work out so I can maintain my girlish figure and make my husband happy. I figured it was time to hook up with Arlene.
Today's lesson in the art of a happy husband actually wasn't too bad. Even though she phrased it as the wife's job is to praise the husband and give him positive reinforcement 24/7 so that they can live in an environment where they can feel successful (um hey Arlene what about my recognition and praise? Where's the responsibility of the husband in that? I'm lucky because my hubby actually does praise me and I think we have done the work to make sure we aren't taking each other for gratitude even if we are just thanking each other for cooking dinner or cleaning out the dishwasher).
I took this chapter to be more about letting hubby parent in his style. This is something I was warned about before hubby deployed a couple years ago...that it would be hard for him to be gone so long and then hard for me to give up the reigns and control and parenting when he returned. And it was! I had to bite my tongue a lot and let hubby parent in his own way because his way and my way aren't always the same and that's okay.
So, my fear in doing T25 is that I will be the person who doesn't lose an inch or pound. I know I have to makea lot some dietary changes. Instead of going balls to the wall and failing, I am going to try to add in more healthy options. I passed up a pumpkin scone at Starbucks today even though I was hungry and came home and ate a salad for lunch and then I had a plum for a snack this afternoon. I've cut way down on the amount of sugar I use in my coffee and I found a yogurt I really like that I think will satisfy me if I need something sweet. I am trying to love myself and all extra 60lbs of me and stop being so hard on myself for being overweight. And I'm enjoying success as a Thirty-One consultant! Check out www.mythirtyone.com/jennmcartor31 and let me know if you want to order or host a virtual party!
Today's lesson in the art of a happy husband actually wasn't too bad. Even though she phrased it as the wife's job is to praise the husband and give him positive reinforcement 24/7 so that they can live in an environment where they can feel successful (um hey Arlene what about my recognition and praise? Where's the responsibility of the husband in that? I'm lucky because my hubby actually does praise me and I think we have done the work to make sure we aren't taking each other for gratitude even if we are just thanking each other for cooking dinner or cleaning out the dishwasher).
I took this chapter to be more about letting hubby parent in his style. This is something I was warned about before hubby deployed a couple years ago...that it would be hard for him to be gone so long and then hard for me to give up the reigns and control and parenting when he returned. And it was! I had to bite my tongue a lot and let hubby parent in his own way because his way and my way aren't always the same and that's okay.
So, my fear in doing T25 is that I will be the person who doesn't lose an inch or pound. I know I have to make
Sunday, September 22, 2013
31 Days to a Happy Husband
Does it still count as exercise if you walk to Food Lion and buy wine? Don't judge me. Our Food Lion is brand new and really nice. And bonus! When I was there today I found this book
Of course I had to buy it so I could make sure my man is happy. And it only takes 31 days so score! Paul is excited that I am blogging about this book as he expects me to do every suggestion for the next month. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or punch him.
First off, let's talk about the author...the female author. WTF are you thinking Arlene???? Our dear friend Arlene also authored 31 Days to a Younger You in case you're an old hag like me. Her claim to fame as been appearing on the 700 Club, The Hour of Power, and a show on TLC called Home Made Simple. She lives, with her happy husband (seriously it says that) in So Cal.
The introduction of the book is called "Are You Still Dreaming?" Apparently, because I am still reading this book. My fave section talks about how she interviewed 31 happy husbands and she tells me to choose which month " to soak your husband in tender loving care." That sounds fun. Can I also soak his dirty underwear and clothes in clorox and his steak dinner in marinade?
Marriage quiz time...if you are like me then you are an abysmal failure. Apparently my husband is the unhappiest man on the planet.
1. The environment of my home is warm and peaceful on most days.
Um, my home is a shit show every day. Shit Show. My home is loud and chaotic every. single. day.
2. I drop other things (even with my kids) to make time for my husband if he needs anything.
Um, WTF Arlene. Is it 1855? My husband is capable of getting himself a snack or a drink or wiping his own ass. My 2 year old and 4 month old are not. But thanks for this stellar advice.
3. I never say unkind things about my husband to others.
What the hell would I talk about with my girlfriends then?
4. If there's a decision to be made, my husband has the final say.
Yes, because I live in the 19th century. Fingers crossed that women will be allowed to vote someday and slavery will end.
5. I enjoy having sex and look forward to making love to my husband.
Is this an and/or statement? 60lbs overweight and 3 hours of sleep a night...sure, bring it on. If you impregnate me again I will cut you.
6. My husband and I talk regularly about ways to improve our sex life.
Sure. After we talk about his work trips, the children, the house, the dogs, our friends, our family....oh wait, what was the question?
7. I make an effort to look attractive with my clothes, hair, and makeup even on days when I see only my husband.
This made me pee on the couch laughing. Arlene clearly has not read my posts on my grooming and my resemblance to various animals. Oh Arlene. I will try not to look like a homeless person at least one day a week.
8. I am a healthy body weight and exercise at least 3 times a week.
If by healthy you mean 60lbs overweight and if by exercise you mean my arm muscles lifting my wine glass and dessert fork then yes, this statement is true.
9. My husband and I go on a date at least once a month.
We go on a date as much as I get to go to the bathroom by myself.
10. We still enjoy romance, kissing once a day for at least five seconds.
Well, let me get out my watch. We're lucky if we get to spend five seconds in the same room. Does it count if you kiss 5 times for 1 second?
According to relationship expert Arlene and all the letters after her name for all the schooling she has done in psychology (I must've missed them in the author bio) my relationship is on "shaky ground. Reading this book is perfect timing." before we get divorced or he kills me in a murder/suicide scenario because I've made him so unhappy with my horrific lack of wifelyness.
Apparently I have a lot of work to do over the next 31 days. Sigh.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
T25 day 2
Holy sore legs. In the first 2 minutes of working out today I wanted to cry. No dry heaving though! It is clear to me that I can NOT work out when the kids are awake. Between the baby crying in her swing while trying to fall asleep and the toddler asking for a new snack every 10 seconds and trying to work out with me and the husband rushing in to grab his suitcase in order to rush off on a work trip, I think I took 10 breaks BUT I eventually got it done. My 25 minutes turned into 60 minutes of working out. haha
I think the husband's fave part today was when my legs gave out and I fell over as he sat on the couch tying his shoes.
I think tomorrow I'll have to try and work out while the toddler is in school. Assuming I can move when I wake up in the morning.
I think the husband's fave part today was when my legs gave out and I fell over as he sat on the couch tying his shoes.
I think tomorrow I'll have to try and work out while the toddler is in school. Assuming I can move when I wake up in the morning.
Monday, September 16, 2013
T25 Day 1
Holy mother of .....
My cousin, who has become super fit, let me borrow the first T25 DVD and I just finished my first work out. You know how you work out and you feel good and feel like you're pretty fit and then you get pregnant and don't work out for a year and try to start again and it pretty much sucks ass...yeah that.
My favorite part, other than the 2 minute cool down at the end, was how I couldn't keep up with the woman doing the modified work out. The absolute best part was when I had to take a break every 2 minutes to dry heave in the living room followed by going upstairs to shower, finding dog poop on the bathroom floor, and gagging into the toilet.
Since if you looked at me naked from the front you may confuse with me
I really can't go on the way I have been. I know I've said this before, but I can no longer see my feet.
Wish me luck! I'll keep you posted!
My cousin, who has become super fit, let me borrow the first T25 DVD and I just finished my first work out. You know how you work out and you feel good and feel like you're pretty fit and then you get pregnant and don't work out for a year and try to start again and it pretty much sucks ass...yeah that.
My favorite part, other than the 2 minute cool down at the end, was how I couldn't keep up with the woman doing the modified work out. The absolute best part was when I had to take a break every 2 minutes to dry heave in the living room followed by going upstairs to shower, finding dog poop on the bathroom floor, and gagging into the toilet.
Since if you looked at me naked from the front you may confuse with me
Wish me luck! I'll keep you posted!
Saturday, August 24, 2013
The Truth Comes Out
On Thursday night we had parent night at the toddler's new school. As we sat there in shock that we are actually old enough to have a child in school (granted she is only 2 1/2 but we expected her not to attend school until age 4). Since we already had a babysitter with the girls (and for those that know me know that this is a HUGE deal that I'm leaving my girls with a sitter) we decided to go out to dinner.
AT 8 O'CLOCK AT NIGHT!
As we walked onto the downtown mall in shock that we were going out to dinner AT 8 O'CLOCK AT NIGHT I felt a strange sense of my being my old self. The pre kids self.
Over dinner though the husband revealed something so shocking that I am not sure how I can look at him the same way.
When we first moved to MA we didn't have air conditioning in our house and during the day our house would get hot. So hot that our poor boxer would get sick and throw up/poop in her cage almost every single day. The husband would usually get home first from work so he got the honors of cleaning out the cage. Keep in mind an 80lb boxer needs a big cage.
Except some days the husband apparently would get home, see that our boxer had gotten sick, decide he couldn't deal with it, and he'd go sit in the Walmart parking lot and wait for me to get home and clean the cage! What! Really?
Can you imagine me hauling a giant dog crate full of shit out of our front door so I could wash it out?
I just looked at him and shook my head.
And then because we had never been out after dark since we've lived in VA we totally missed our neighborhood on our way home and drove right past it!
AT 8 O'CLOCK AT NIGHT!
As we walked onto the downtown mall in shock that we were going out to dinner AT 8 O'CLOCK AT NIGHT I felt a strange sense of my being my old self. The pre kids self.
Over dinner though the husband revealed something so shocking that I am not sure how I can look at him the same way.
When we first moved to MA we didn't have air conditioning in our house and during the day our house would get hot. So hot that our poor boxer would get sick and throw up/poop in her cage almost every single day. The husband would usually get home first from work so he got the honors of cleaning out the cage. Keep in mind an 80lb boxer needs a big cage.
Except some days the husband apparently would get home, see that our boxer had gotten sick, decide he couldn't deal with it, and he'd go sit in the Walmart parking lot and wait for me to get home and clean the cage! What! Really?
Can you imagine me hauling a giant dog crate full of shit out of our front door so I could wash it out?
I just looked at him and shook my head.
And then because we had never been out after dark since we've lived in VA we totally missed our neighborhood on our way home and drove right past it!
Friday, August 23, 2013
Toddler School
We took the toddler to her new school today to meet her teacher. And by school I mean we are paying a crap ton of money for her to attend a toddler program for a total of 10.5 hours a week. Granted the toddler is super excited, but I may be more excited. I may or may not have been counting down the days to the start of school since I enrolled her minus the days I had total anxiety about her going to school and being out of my sight and what if there's a crazy shooter or an earthquake or...you know...crazy mom shit. Thank God for zoloft is all I have to say. Oh and wine. Thank God for wine.
Anyways, I'm not gonna lie. I think the thing I am absolutely most excited about is that they are going to potty train her. They don't know they are going to potty train her, but I am going to lie and say we are potty training her and then let them do their school magic. All of my friends who send their kids to daycare swear that it works. Those bitches better not be lying.
Of course I have no doubt that the husband will have to bodily remove me from the premises the first week we drop her off and the school may end up calling the police on the mini van that's been sitting in their parking lot all morning. And there may be crying. Not on the toddler's part because she was ready for us to leave her today within 30 seconds of us walking into her classroom.
I'll let y'all know how we do.
Anyways, I'm not gonna lie. I think the thing I am absolutely most excited about is that they are going to potty train her. They don't know they are going to potty train her, but I am going to lie and say we are potty training her and then let them do their school magic. All of my friends who send their kids to daycare swear that it works. Those bitches better not be lying.
Of course I have no doubt that the husband will have to bodily remove me from the premises the first week we drop her off and the school may end up calling the police on the mini van that's been sitting in their parking lot all morning. And there may be crying. Not on the toddler's part because she was ready for us to leave her today within 30 seconds of us walking into her classroom.
I'll let y'all know how we do.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Thirty-One
I did it! I drank the Thirty-One kool-aid! I became a consultant just this past week and I am so excited to share my latest adventure with y'all! I am anxiously awaiting my enrollment kit and already have my first party happening.
As always there is a great special this month. Check it out! You'll love it!
Let me know if you'd like to be added to my Facebook group so you can keep up to date on what's going on with Thirty-One and any specials I have as a consultant.
And the next person who orders through me will receive free personalization on any one item!
Happy shopping!
Friday, August 9, 2013
Shoo Fly
I have never had so many flies in my house as we've had since moving to Virginia. Part of the problem is that the toddler runs in and out of the balcy aka balcony and leaves the door open, but I also think there are just a lot of flies in Virginia. I actually heard someone say it was just that time of year.
The flies in the house are driving me crazy and to top it off we are apparently hosting a family of fruit flies as well. I tried leaving a cup of red wine mixed with a little sugar out. Nothing. I tried carniverous plants. Little bastards must not be hungry. Finally the hubby went to Lowe's a couple days ago so I asked him to get some fly paper and a fruit fly trap. He dutifully did and I set both up before bed with the excitement of Christmas Eve, just knowing that I would come downstairs in the morning to find that a massive fly genocide had occurred.
The next day I come downstairs and there is not 1 stinking fly on the stupid fly paper and the fruit flies are hanging out on top of the fruit fly trap like they are at Beaches Family Resort soaking up the sun and drinking mai tais. Are you freaking kidding me? Where was my fly genocide????
And to make matters worse I ended up killing 2 flies and 2 fruit flies with my bare hands!
While the fruit flies are still on their family vacation, the fly paper did manage to snag 1 fly and 3 fruit flies whereas this morning I killed an additional 2 flies with my hands.
You can just call me Fists of Fury!
The flies in the house are driving me crazy and to top it off we are apparently hosting a family of fruit flies as well. I tried leaving a cup of red wine mixed with a little sugar out. Nothing. I tried carniverous plants. Little bastards must not be hungry. Finally the hubby went to Lowe's a couple days ago so I asked him to get some fly paper and a fruit fly trap. He dutifully did and I set both up before bed with the excitement of Christmas Eve, just knowing that I would come downstairs in the morning to find that a massive fly genocide had occurred.
The next day I come downstairs and there is not 1 stinking fly on the stupid fly paper and the fruit flies are hanging out on top of the fruit fly trap like they are at Beaches Family Resort soaking up the sun and drinking mai tais. Are you freaking kidding me? Where was my fly genocide????
And to make matters worse I ended up killing 2 flies and 2 fruit flies with my bare hands!
While the fruit flies are still on their family vacation, the fly paper did manage to snag 1 fly and 3 fruit flies whereas this morning I killed an additional 2 flies with my hands.
You can just call me Fists of Fury!
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
NC and Hummingbirds
Before we left Boston we took the toddler to the butterfly garden. To be far I had also taken her when she was much younger, during hubby's deployment, but she probably doesn't remember that. You know because she was like 5 months old.
I love a good butterfly garden. Heck, I love a bad butterfly garden. I think butterflies are just such beautifulbugs creatures. When I saw how much the toddler loves them, too, I was super excited to build a butterfly garden with her at our new home in Virginia.
Being slightly busy with moving and a newborn and unpacking we sort of missed the the prime plant season, but were able to get a few annuals for window boxes. Virginia has so many butterlies! And flies. What is with the flies????
I also decided we would try our hand with hummingbirds. Saturday morning we were out on the balcony watching the hubby load up the swagger wagon for a trip to NC and THERE WERE HUMMINGBIRDS AT OUR FEEDERS!!!! I almost peed myself with excitement. Since then I have been obsessed with watching for hummingbirds and I told the hubby not to be surprised if he comes home one day to find the balcony covered in feeders.
We went to NC for a friend's 19th annual pig pickin. Yes, you read that correctly. They have been doing this for 19 years, starting the first year they were married. Hopefully when the hubby retires and we settle in one location we can start a similar tradition. Heck, maybe I'll just start it now and whoever comes will have to travel to attend when we move. haha If you aren't from the south, a pig pickin is where a whole pig is cooked on the grill all day and you basically do just what the name implies...pick your pork right off the pig. When I say it tasted amazing I am not lying. This was the BEST bbq I have ever attended. Amazing people, amazing fellowship, amazing food. The hubby had met some of the 100+ guests, but it was the first time I had met the family and I fell in love with them. I actually hope they adopt me (even if they are NC State fans).
The toddler, of course, made herself immediately at home. And when I say immediately I mean she followed Curtis into his house while we unloaded the van. No stranger danger with our girl. The toddler pretty much ran around like a maniac, the baby was held, and the hubby and I were pretty much not needed by either of them. I'll tell you what those kids were so wore out it was the best night sleep we've had in forever. I'm going to drop them off the next time we go on vacation. I don't even care which family member they stay with.
And I learned how to make greens finally! I am sure the hubby is relieved because we've had some pretty awful attempts and finally last night I used some tips Ms. Emma had told me and they turned out so well. Ms. Emma is Curtis' mama and she has her own bbq in a few weeks with the same huge number of guests. We were trying to figure out how we could politely invite ourselves just because we love this family so much and, we can't lie, we like to eat and the food was delicious.
I love a good butterfly garden. Heck, I love a bad butterfly garden. I think butterflies are just such beautiful
Being slightly busy with moving and a newborn and unpacking we sort of missed the the prime plant season, but were able to get a few annuals for window boxes. Virginia has so many butterlies! And flies. What is with the flies????
I also decided we would try our hand with hummingbirds. Saturday morning we were out on the balcony watching the hubby load up the swagger wagon for a trip to NC and THERE WERE HUMMINGBIRDS AT OUR FEEDERS!!!! I almost peed myself with excitement. Since then I have been obsessed with watching for hummingbirds and I told the hubby not to be surprised if he comes home one day to find the balcony covered in feeders.
We went to NC for a friend's 19th annual pig pickin. Yes, you read that correctly. They have been doing this for 19 years, starting the first year they were married. Hopefully when the hubby retires and we settle in one location we can start a similar tradition. Heck, maybe I'll just start it now and whoever comes will have to travel to attend when we move. haha If you aren't from the south, a pig pickin is where a whole pig is cooked on the grill all day and you basically do just what the name implies...pick your pork right off the pig. When I say it tasted amazing I am not lying. This was the BEST bbq I have ever attended. Amazing people, amazing fellowship, amazing food. The hubby had met some of the 100+ guests, but it was the first time I had met the family and I fell in love with them. I actually hope they adopt me (even if they are NC State fans).
The toddler, of course, made herself immediately at home. And when I say immediately I mean she followed Curtis into his house while we unloaded the van. No stranger danger with our girl. The toddler pretty much ran around like a maniac, the baby was held, and the hubby and I were pretty much not needed by either of them. I'll tell you what those kids were so wore out it was the best night sleep we've had in forever. I'm going to drop them off the next time we go on vacation. I don't even care which family member they stay with.
And I learned how to make greens finally! I am sure the hubby is relieved because we've had some pretty awful attempts and finally last night I used some tips Ms. Emma had told me and they turned out so well. Ms. Emma is Curtis' mama and she has her own bbq in a few weeks with the same huge number of guests. We were trying to figure out how we could politely invite ourselves just because we love this family so much and, we can't lie, we like to eat and the food was delicious.
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| Had to represent FSU |
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| All the toddler needs to be happy |
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Lazy Parenting
I read a blog post a couple weeks ago that spoke about the current trend of lazy parenting. Of course I can't find it, but trust me when I say it was a really good post. The post got me thinking though about the blogs I follow. Yes, they are funny. I love self deprecating humor and certainly reading about chaos in someone else's home can be good comic relief.
But....
It also got me thinking about what kind of role model I want to be for my girls. I grew up with very different parents. My dad is a very neat person, always cleaning the house, doing yardwork, etc. My mom never cleans her house unless we give her 6 months notice that we are coming to visit. Unfortunately I did not inherit my dad's housekeeping skills.
I think there are more important things in life than having a super clean house. Playing with my girls, reading to them, taking walks in the evening, planting flowers are more important than spending my entire day cleaning and doing laundry.
But...
I don't agree with the current blog trend of lazy parenting. I want my girls to see that our house is fit for company. I want them to see my being productive and balancing work with play. I want them to grow up to be responsible citizens who care about other people. I'm not saying that the children of those bloggers who talk about how much they hate parenting or how tired they are won't grow up to be awesome people. I'm sure they probably will.
But...
I want to leave my girls with a legacy other than reading about how mommy wants to drink wine or sleep for a year (and yes an uninterrupted night of sleep would be amazing) or sarcastic comments about a lack of parenting or house cleaning skills.
So...
I am finding balance. I am pushing myself to keep my house fit for company. You may not be able to eat off the floors, but you won't kill yourself tripping over a toy or see a dust bunny rolling by either. You will see flowers planted around our house and you will see a play area or two or three. There will be baby blankets covered in spit up on the couch during the day, but they'll be put in the laundry at night. The beds might not get made every day, but they won't be covered in clean laundry either. The dishes will get done at night because I hate waking up to a sink full of dirty dishes.
And yes, there may be days that our lives are filled with chaos and I may talk about it on Facebook, but there will also be calm among that chaos. I want to be the mom that my girls grow up and can say, "Wow. I had a great mom," and mean it.
But....
It also got me thinking about what kind of role model I want to be for my girls. I grew up with very different parents. My dad is a very neat person, always cleaning the house, doing yardwork, etc. My mom never cleans her house unless we give her 6 months notice that we are coming to visit. Unfortunately I did not inherit my dad's housekeeping skills.
I think there are more important things in life than having a super clean house. Playing with my girls, reading to them, taking walks in the evening, planting flowers are more important than spending my entire day cleaning and doing laundry.
But...
I don't agree with the current blog trend of lazy parenting. I want my girls to see that our house is fit for company. I want them to see my being productive and balancing work with play. I want them to grow up to be responsible citizens who care about other people. I'm not saying that the children of those bloggers who talk about how much they hate parenting or how tired they are won't grow up to be awesome people. I'm sure they probably will.
But...
I want to leave my girls with a legacy other than reading about how mommy wants to drink wine or sleep for a year (and yes an uninterrupted night of sleep would be amazing) or sarcastic comments about a lack of parenting or house cleaning skills.
So...
I am finding balance. I am pushing myself to keep my house fit for company. You may not be able to eat off the floors, but you won't kill yourself tripping over a toy or see a dust bunny rolling by either. You will see flowers planted around our house and you will see a play area or two or three. There will be baby blankets covered in spit up on the couch during the day, but they'll be put in the laundry at night. The beds might not get made every day, but they won't be covered in clean laundry either. The dishes will get done at night because I hate waking up to a sink full of dirty dishes.
And yes, there may be days that our lives are filled with chaos and I may talk about it on Facebook, but there will also be calm among that chaos. I want to be the mom that my girls grow up and can say, "Wow. I had a great mom," and mean it.
Sunday, July 28, 2013
What's In A Name?
Before we left Boston we went downtown for family pictures. On the way back to the car we were walking behind a man who was wearing camo pants and rocking out to a WALKMAN as in with a tape cassette. And of course we ended up in conversation with him and by we I mean me. My hubby thinks crazy people gravitate to me. Some of my friends do not help his perception.
Anyways, being the polite person I am, I introduce Paul and Emma as well. He says, "Emma. Like Lizzie Borden's older sister."
Huh?
Lizzie Borden's older sister was named Emma. Wait a second. Lizzie Borden. Lizzie. Elizabeth.
Holy shit! We named our children after people that killed their parents!
Lizzie Borden took an ax and gave her father forty wacks and when she saw what she had done she gave her mother forty one.
And it took a crazy, drunk, homeless man to tell us. Our children can never hear that poem.
Anyways, being the polite person I am, I introduce Paul and Emma as well. He says, "Emma. Like Lizzie Borden's older sister."
Huh?
Lizzie Borden's older sister was named Emma. Wait a second. Lizzie Borden. Lizzie. Elizabeth.
Holy shit! We named our children after people that killed their parents!
Lizzie Borden took an ax and gave her father forty wacks and when she saw what she had done she gave her mother forty one.
And it took a crazy, drunk, homeless man to tell us. Our children can never hear that poem.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Christmas in July
In honor of my birthday the hubby agreed to go to church with me this morning. The hubby is not huge into going into church so this was a big deal. I think this is the first time we've been together that we weren't attending a wedding.
Apparently twice a year they do a special church service that is 2 hours long and today was one of those days. Since I had missed that information on the website we showed up about halfway through the service. We were going to put the girls in the nursery, but ended up just sitting in the crying room which was AWESOME because you could hear the service, but no one could hear you and there were toys for the toddler. Well, no one could hear her except when the hubby took her to the potty and she screamed "I went potty!" before she got back into the room. haha
And today's theme was Christmas in July and if there is one thing the hubbyhates loves it is Christmas music...and there was a LOT of Christmas music in today's service. It was pretty much a Christmas service with the pastor dressing up like Joseph and everything. I pretty much chuckled through the entire service knowing how much the hubby was enjoying himself.
Church was followed lunch at the Outback where we sat by a family who complained the ENTIRE meal and then didn't leave a tip for the waitress even though their 3 young children were nasty to the waitress. Really? I guess the child apple doesn't fall far from the parent tree.
And the toddler got up from her nap, took off her diaper, and peed on the potty WITHOUT BEING TOLD! Best birthday present ever! I mean the spa gift certificate the hubby got me is nice, but pee is a golden gift! haha
Enjoy your Sunday!
Apparently twice a year they do a special church service that is 2 hours long and today was one of those days. Since I had missed that information on the website we showed up about halfway through the service. We were going to put the girls in the nursery, but ended up just sitting in the crying room which was AWESOME because you could hear the service, but no one could hear you and there were toys for the toddler. Well, no one could hear her except when the hubby took her to the potty and she screamed "I went potty!" before she got back into the room. haha
And today's theme was Christmas in July and if there is one thing the hubby
Church was followed lunch at the Outback where we sat by a family who complained the ENTIRE meal and then didn't leave a tip for the waitress even though their 3 young children were nasty to the waitress. Really? I guess the child apple doesn't fall far from the parent tree.
And the toddler got up from her nap, took off her diaper, and peed on the potty WITHOUT BEING TOLD! Best birthday present ever! I mean the spa gift certificate the hubby got me is nice, but pee is a golden gift! haha
Enjoy your Sunday!
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Charlottesville Farmers Market
We have been in VA for just over a week and have gotten 98% of our stuff unpacked thanks to the tireless efforts of our friend Jen and her willingness to sweat through box after box when our ac wasn't working.
Today we decided to venture to the local farmers market. Apparently this is the place to be on Saturday mornings and, having formerly lived in an area with a thriving weekly farmers market, I was super excited!
Seeing as we are now early morning people thanks to the 2 midgets who run our household, we were up at 6am and out the door by 7:15am. We had some directional issues, but found the market without too many wrong turns. Seeing as it's only 3 miles from our house you'd think we could've found it quicker.
We saw tons of beautiful flowers and produce. It wasn't as inexpensive as what I was used to; however, the quality of products was apparent.
We bought peaches and nectarines from a couple who had been selling at the farmers market for 40 years. They had to be in their 80's and were so cute!
We also got veggies, fresh caught trout, and wild boar chops!
My favorite part was the hot, fresh, glazed donuts and coffee! Hubby loved the blueberry lemon bread he got.
Two hipsters were selling kombucha. As I see my healthy friends always posting on Facebook about how much they love kombucha I decided to try some. They were set up like a beer truck with different flavors of kombucha on tap. You could choose what you wanted by the glass or they'd bottle it right there for you. As I had never had any the nice young man started pouring different samples. I love iced tea so I thought I'd like it. I thought wrong. I first tried a mint flavor. I was NOT expecting it to taste so fizzy. And it did NOT taste like iced tea. I declined trying the straight up ginger flavor as I hate ginger. I next tried a combo of peach and crap with a little ginger. The words that came out of my mouth were, "I can taste the ginger. I don't like it." What I wanted to scream was, "I just threw up in my mouth. Get it out! Get it out!" He then asked me if I liked hops. I like beer so I said yes. Imagine the most disgusting beer in the world and that's pretty much what this tasted like. As I tried not to gag I guiltily ordered a bottle of the mint kombucha. Why does healthy stuff taste so so bad???
As we were leaving we saw another set of hipsters brewing coffee. Our friends Cody and Ryan are super into brewing expresso and they talk about it way too much. I asked these hipsters if I could take their picture and this is what I ended up with. I'm sure Cody and Ryan will appreciate this as their future. I did end up buying a $5 cup of coffee, but if I bring the coffee cup back next week they'll give me my $5 back! And the coffee wasn't half either!
Today we decided to venture to the local farmers market. Apparently this is the place to be on Saturday mornings and, having formerly lived in an area with a thriving weekly farmers market, I was super excited!
Seeing as we are now early morning people thanks to the 2 midgets who run our household, we were up at 6am and out the door by 7:15am. We had some directional issues, but found the market without too many wrong turns. Seeing as it's only 3 miles from our house you'd think we could've found it quicker.
We saw tons of beautiful flowers and produce. It wasn't as inexpensive as what I was used to; however, the quality of products was apparent.
We bought peaches and nectarines from a couple who had been selling at the farmers market for 40 years. They had to be in their 80's and were so cute!
We also got veggies, fresh caught trout, and wild boar chops!
My favorite part was the hot, fresh, glazed donuts and coffee! Hubby loved the blueberry lemon bread he got.
Two hipsters were selling kombucha. As I see my healthy friends always posting on Facebook about how much they love kombucha I decided to try some. They were set up like a beer truck with different flavors of kombucha on tap. You could choose what you wanted by the glass or they'd bottle it right there for you. As I had never had any the nice young man started pouring different samples. I love iced tea so I thought I'd like it. I thought wrong. I first tried a mint flavor. I was NOT expecting it to taste so fizzy. And it did NOT taste like iced tea. I declined trying the straight up ginger flavor as I hate ginger. I next tried a combo of peach and crap with a little ginger. The words that came out of my mouth were, "I can taste the ginger. I don't like it." What I wanted to scream was, "I just threw up in my mouth. Get it out! Get it out!" He then asked me if I liked hops. I like beer so I said yes. Imagine the most disgusting beer in the world and that's pretty much what this tasted like. As I tried not to gag I guiltily ordered a bottle of the mint kombucha. Why does healthy stuff taste so so bad???
As we were leaving we saw another set of hipsters brewing coffee. Our friends Cody and Ryan are super into brewing expresso and they talk about it way too much. I asked these hipsters if I could take their picture and this is what I ended up with. I'm sure Cody and Ryan will appreciate this as their future. I did end up buying a $5 cup of coffee, but if I bring the coffee cup back next week they'll give me my $5 back! And the coffee wasn't half either!
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Thrush
To add to my breastfeeding discomfort I have been diagnosed with thrush. Holy boobie pain! As if breastfeeding a newborn wasn't uncomfortable enough, try adding burning hot, fire needles in your nipples and breasts. And when I say burning hot the closest similarity I can think of is when you are taking something out of the oven and burn your arm and it hurts like a mo fo...now imagine that pain INSIDE your breasts.
If you think you have thrush (and you will suspect you do with the burning and the fact that your nipples look DISGUSTING and your child may have thrush in their mouth or bum) then call your ob immediately. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Call now. And call your pedi so your infant can get on meds, too. You both need to be treated to get over this and not keeping pass it back and forth.
Sigh.
FYI its taken me 45 minutes to write this email between giving the baby the pacifier 192 separate times...193...and getting the toddler food and turning on the ipad and changing diapers and...
Do you think I can tape the pacifier to the infant's face? No?
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Breastfeeding
I nursed my oldest daughter till she was 11 1/2 months old. I probably would've nursed her longer, but she weaned herself and didn't want any part of it. The last memory I have of nursing is an almost toddler who about could ask for a drink herself and latch herself on whether I was paying attention or not. Self sufficient is that one.
I'm now nursing our newborn. Our newborn who has jaws like a steel trap. Our newborn whose jaws couldn't be pried open by the jaws of life once she clamps on. I'm pretty sure she could catch a bear with her jaws.
I know there are a lot of moms who breastfeed their children. Some of them are more into it than others. Don't get me wrong. I love nursing...an older child. Nursing a newborn sucks ass.
I have a second appointment with the lactation consultant on Monday. I'm pretty sure my one nipple is infected as it's leaking clear fluid. I won't describe what it looks like in case you're eating.
When it's time to nurse my nipples actually cure up a little and shrivel back inside my body a la the Wicked Witch on the Wizard of Oz when she gets hit by the house. I swear my newborn has tiny shards of glass embedded in her gums. There are times when it literally feels like my nipples are on fire. Fire!
Someday though life will get better because she won't cluster feed from 7pm till 11pm and I can go back to drinking wine in the evening. Wine makes everything tolerable.
God has finally blessed me with a newborn that actually sleeps (ya know sleep when the baby sleeps and all that crap), He has also continues to bless me with a toddler who won't.
I have to go stink my head in the toilet to drownmyself out the sounds of my toddler crying "mommy" repeatedly from the bedroom of our 18 square foot hotel room because she doesn't want to take a nap for the 31st day in a row.
I'm now nursing our newborn. Our newborn who has jaws like a steel trap. Our newborn whose jaws couldn't be pried open by the jaws of life once she clamps on. I'm pretty sure she could catch a bear with her jaws.
I know there are a lot of moms who breastfeed their children. Some of them are more into it than others. Don't get me wrong. I love nursing...an older child. Nursing a newborn sucks ass.
I have a second appointment with the lactation consultant on Monday. I'm pretty sure my one nipple is infected as it's leaking clear fluid. I won't describe what it looks like in case you're eating.
When it's time to nurse my nipples actually cure up a little and shrivel back inside my body a la the Wicked Witch on the Wizard of Oz when she gets hit by the house. I swear my newborn has tiny shards of glass embedded in her gums. There are times when it literally feels like my nipples are on fire. Fire!
Someday though life will get better because she won't cluster feed from 7pm till 11pm and I can go back to drinking wine in the evening. Wine makes everything tolerable.
God has finally blessed me with a newborn that actually sleeps (ya know sleep when the baby sleeps and all that crap), He has also continues to bless me with a toddler who won't.
I have to go stink my head in the toilet to drown
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Two and New
We have survived the first week home with our newborn. Holy crap. Only one of my friends told me that it was going to suck and it definitely has been challenging.
Some highlights of the last week (since I don't know how long I can keep the toddler from maiming the dog or keep my tiny piglet from nursing):
The c-section went so much better than last time! I mean, minus the vomiting during the middle of it, I didn't have any heart issues afterwards and the spinal worked as it was supposed to. I still am not sure why anyone would choose a c-section cause that shit hurts, but to each his own. Technically I did choose this c-section, but only because of my busted up cervix.
My sister and mom were here to watch the toddler and help out. Blessings! I am not sure what we would have done if they hadn't been here. They all survived the week and the toddler enjoyed all the spoiling.
The toddler is doing really well although feeling a little left out I think. She loves her baby sister, but does not want her sleep...ever as evidenced by the fact that she "sings" in her face and pokes at her should she dare close her eyes. The toddler has also decided she no longer wants to nap or potty train.
The hubby has been amazing. He has mastered the art of doing laundry in the hotel and even uses the toddler has a helper (God bless him).
The newborn sleeps like a champ (Praise Jesus!). She is already up to 5 hours at night and it has made a huge difference in the quality of our lives during the day. She is almost back up to her birth weight and only turned 1 week old on Monday. Did I mention she really loves to eat?
I know this may irritate some people, but the truth has to be said. Breastfeeding a newborn sucks! My nipples look like they were shredded by a cheese grater and we've already had an appointment with the lactation consultant. I don't even care how much we get charged for it because it was worth every penny. Trying to relax and replicate the success I had in her office at home, especially at night, is another matter, but we'll get there. But anyone who tells you that breastfeeding is natural and your infant automatically knows what to do is either blowing smoke up your ass or is delusional. The newborn may squirm her way in that direction, but she does not know what to do once she gets there. But having an awesome lactation consultant makes a HUGE difference so don't hesitate to get hooked up with someone. Your nipples will thank you.
This is the first time since the baby was born that I've had 5 minutes to sit and get online.
I love my girls and I need to go rescue the dog from the toddler.
Some highlights of the last week (since I don't know how long I can keep the toddler from maiming the dog or keep my tiny piglet from nursing):
The c-section went so much better than last time! I mean, minus the vomiting during the middle of it, I didn't have any heart issues afterwards and the spinal worked as it was supposed to. I still am not sure why anyone would choose a c-section cause that shit hurts, but to each his own. Technically I did choose this c-section, but only because of my busted up cervix.
My sister and mom were here to watch the toddler and help out. Blessings! I am not sure what we would have done if they hadn't been here. They all survived the week and the toddler enjoyed all the spoiling.
The toddler is doing really well although feeling a little left out I think. She loves her baby sister, but does not want her sleep...ever as evidenced by the fact that she "sings" in her face and pokes at her should she dare close her eyes. The toddler has also decided she no longer wants to nap or potty train.
The hubby has been amazing. He has mastered the art of doing laundry in the hotel and even uses the toddler has a helper (God bless him).
The newborn sleeps like a champ (Praise Jesus!). She is already up to 5 hours at night and it has made a huge difference in the quality of our lives during the day. She is almost back up to her birth weight and only turned 1 week old on Monday. Did I mention she really loves to eat?
I know this may irritate some people, but the truth has to be said. Breastfeeding a newborn sucks! My nipples look like they were shredded by a cheese grater and we've already had an appointment with the lactation consultant. I don't even care how much we get charged for it because it was worth every penny. Trying to relax and replicate the success I had in her office at home, especially at night, is another matter, but we'll get there. But anyone who tells you that breastfeeding is natural and your infant automatically knows what to do is either blowing smoke up your ass or is delusional. The newborn may squirm her way in that direction, but she does not know what to do once she gets there. But having an awesome lactation consultant makes a HUGE difference so don't hesitate to get hooked up with someone. Your nipples will thank you.
This is the first time since the baby was born that I've had 5 minutes to sit and get online.
I love my girls and I need to go rescue the dog from the toddler.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Two Weeks Down
We have been living in the hotel for just over 2 weeks. In that time I have NOT gone into labor, I have barely cooked, i have learned that I never want an electric stove again, and I have learned that we can live in a space the size of my previous living room/kitchen and not kill each other.
The staff at the hotel is amazing! They make breakfast every morning, they clean our room, dinner is served 4 nights a week, AND they went grocery shopping for me. Plus they sell beer and wine in the lobby so you know where I'll be once I pop this kid out. Did I mention there is a pool? It's not open yet, but I'm confident that by Memorial weekend I'll be bikini ready and laying in the sun. And if I'm not exactly bikini ready then who the hell cares because they sell beer and wine in the lobby!
Of course we just found out our remaining 80lb dog has a parasite and now we have to deworm her while keeping her from licking our toddler and keeping our toddler from touching her butt. Why are toddlers obsessed with dog butts? Hopefully we won't worm the rest of the dog population here at the hotel. Sweet peanuts!
I took a bath last night in our tub. To give you an idea as to how large I've gotten imagine an infant tub with a whale in it. Or this...
There ya go! My stomach stuck up approximately a foot and a half above the edge of the tub. As the toddler likes to tell me, "Mommy, you big!"
So I'm off to the ob this afternoon where she'll tell me I'm not dilated, my hopes of a natural child birth will be dashed, and I'll be having my c section on Monday as scheduled. Sigh.
The staff at the hotel is amazing! They make breakfast every morning, they clean our room, dinner is served 4 nights a week, AND they went grocery shopping for me. Plus they sell beer and wine in the lobby so you know where I'll be once I pop this kid out. Did I mention there is a pool? It's not open yet, but I'm confident that by Memorial weekend I'll be bikini ready and laying in the sun. And if I'm not exactly bikini ready then who the hell cares because they sell beer and wine in the lobby!
Of course we just found out our remaining 80lb dog has a parasite and now we have to deworm her while keeping her from licking our toddler and keeping our toddler from touching her butt. Why are toddlers obsessed with dog butts? Hopefully we won't worm the rest of the dog population here at the hotel. Sweet peanuts!
I took a bath last night in our tub. To give you an idea as to how large I've gotten imagine an infant tub with a whale in it. Or this...
There ya go! My stomach stuck up approximately a foot and a half above the edge of the tub. As the toddler likes to tell me, "Mommy, you big!"
So I'm off to the ob this afternoon where she'll tell me I'm not dilated, my hopes of a natural child birth will be dashed, and I'll be having my c section on Monday as scheduled. Sigh.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Saying Goodbye to an Old Friend
Yesterday we had to take our 13 year old chihuahua Beast to the vet. I had gotten Beast from a breeder when he was a puppy. He was my baby before I had babies.
Over breakfast we joked about getting Beast a tiny oxygen mask and tiny oxygen tank. We didn't know what was wrong with him, other than a hacking cough, but given his age I already had decided that we wouldn't go crazy with expensive treatments.
We got to the vet and he examined both our dogs (our boxer has had some stomach issues). He heard Beast cough and initially thought maybe pneumonia, but after listening to his heart and lungs thought congestive heart failure. He wanted to do X-rays and we agreed.
The tech said it would take awhile. It was 1:18 so we could go run an errand and be back at 2. We left to run errands. I didn't say goodbye.
When we returned I ran inside to pick up the dogs and pay. The woman at the front desk led me back into an examining room and I knew something was wrong. I thought maybe the vet was going to say he suspected cancer. He came in and said how sorry he was, that Beast had died during the X-ray, that they had tried to revive him, but weren't successful. He thought that Beast had a heart attack or blood clot. My hands covered my mouth in shock as I started to cry.
He asked if I wanted to see him and brought me in back. Beast was wrapped in a blanket. He looked relaxed, peaceful. We talked about cremation as I pet his head and cried.
I paid and the tech helped me outside. Paul saw me coming with just Sasha and got out of the car. The tech told him.
We got back to the hotel and Em kept saying, "Where's Beasty? Where's my Beasty?" She ran all over the hotel room looking for him. We explained that he was in heaven and she asked if heaven was fun. We said very.
This morning she woke up and asked, "Where's Beast?" We told her heaven.
Saying goodbye to an old friend is never easy. I can only remember all the times I've been impatient with him over the last 2 years. I know I gave Beast a good life. I wish I had treated him better since we had Em. Dogs don't ask for babies to come along. I need to remember that a pet only asks for our love.
Telling your children their beloved pet is gone requires patience and repetition. Em is too young to understand and that's ok.
We came to MA with 4 dogs and 2 cats. We are leaving with 1 dog and 2 kids.
RIP Beast. Mommy loves you.
Over breakfast we joked about getting Beast a tiny oxygen mask and tiny oxygen tank. We didn't know what was wrong with him, other than a hacking cough, but given his age I already had decided that we wouldn't go crazy with expensive treatments.
We got to the vet and he examined both our dogs (our boxer has had some stomach issues). He heard Beast cough and initially thought maybe pneumonia, but after listening to his heart and lungs thought congestive heart failure. He wanted to do X-rays and we agreed.
The tech said it would take awhile. It was 1:18 so we could go run an errand and be back at 2. We left to run errands. I didn't say goodbye.
When we returned I ran inside to pick up the dogs and pay. The woman at the front desk led me back into an examining room and I knew something was wrong. I thought maybe the vet was going to say he suspected cancer. He came in and said how sorry he was, that Beast had died during the X-ray, that they had tried to revive him, but weren't successful. He thought that Beast had a heart attack or blood clot. My hands covered my mouth in shock as I started to cry.
He asked if I wanted to see him and brought me in back. Beast was wrapped in a blanket. He looked relaxed, peaceful. We talked about cremation as I pet his head and cried.
I paid and the tech helped me outside. Paul saw me coming with just Sasha and got out of the car. The tech told him.
We got back to the hotel and Em kept saying, "Where's Beasty? Where's my Beasty?" She ran all over the hotel room looking for him. We explained that he was in heaven and she asked if heaven was fun. We said very.
This morning she woke up and asked, "Where's Beast?" We told her heaven.
Saying goodbye to an old friend is never easy. I can only remember all the times I've been impatient with him over the last 2 years. I know I gave Beast a good life. I wish I had treated him better since we had Em. Dogs don't ask for babies to come along. I need to remember that a pet only asks for our love.
Telling your children their beloved pet is gone requires patience and repetition. Em is too young to understand and that's ok.
We came to MA with 4 dogs and 2 cats. We are leaving with 1 dog and 2 kids.
RIP Beast. Mommy loves you.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Geriatric Dogs
I called the vet today and scheduled some appointments for our dogs. You know how when you're single or married without kids you're dogs are your children...yeah we are soooo not in that place.
Our chihuahua has had a hacking dry cough for months. For awhile I thought it was radon poisoning from our basement, but when I googled hacking coughs in dogs today it suggested it could be kennel cough or a collapsing trachea which occurs in toy breeds. What! I ruled out kennel cough because our dogs don't go near other dogs and we don't kennel them.
The trachea thing sounded serious. Of course I am sure the vet will think I'm heartless when I refuse any sort of testing to see if that is the problem. He's 13. If it's his time, it's his time.
And then there's our boxer. She is having her teeth cleaned. Again. Every time our dogs are at this vets office they end leaving with fewer teeth. Sasha is going to come home with no teeth. She already only has like 5.
So, Paul and I were talking about what the future of our dogs would look like when we move.
I'll be in the kitchen, fixing Sasha up some dinner in the blender because she won't have teeth. Someone will knock on the door and Beast will hold up his electrolarnyx to his throat so he can bark. I'll have to plug his trach so he can get some water.
I'm sure y'all are reading this thinking we are awful, heartless people, but when I say this image made me laugh...it made me laugh. I had tears streaming down my face and am surprised I didn't pee in the car. Of course we were also making the electronic barking sounds.
Roof, roof.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
A Long, Long Night
I am most every pregnant woman feels this way towards the end of the pregnancy...when you are just so uncomfortable and miserable and huge that you would pay a voodoo witch doctor to cast a spell over you if it meant you could deliver a healthy baby even one day earlier.
So, yeah...
With the toddler I had horrible acid reflux my whole pregnancy. The kind where you wake up suffocating on your own stomach acid. It was a super good time.
With this munchkin I've had horrible leg pain. Not Charlie horse leg pain (although I did have one of those the other night, too), but just joint pain. My hips, knees, ankles all are painful at night.
Did I mention we are living in a hotel now? We made a valiant effort to have the toddler sleep on her cot last night, but when she was still awake at almost 10pm I called. Time of death 9:54pm. The little con artist had outlasted us.
We threw her in bed with us and all went to sleep. I woke up to use the restroom, thinking I had to have been in bed awhile. Nope. It was 11:19.
Back to bed. Woke up again because my hips hurt and I had to pee. Surely it was the middle of the night. Nope. 1:09. Sweet mother of God!
Back to bed. Woke up again. Well, you know the story. This time birds were outside chirping so surely it was close to daybreak. Nope. 3:08am. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME????? I know most people would be thrilled to think they get an extra 2, 3, 4 hours of sleep, but I was just ready to get out of bed and get up for the day so my legs would feel better.
I finally decided to sit up in bed which did help my hips except the toddler had a nightmare and decided she needed to lay on mommy. Not such an easy task when mommy is sitting up.
I felt like night was never going to end which I tried to be grateful for at 3:08am when I was sitting on the toilet for what felt like the 50th time. Ya know last night on earth and all that crap.
And lest you think I'm just a complainer I am super grateful for this pregnancy and for what looks like a healthy baby in there. I don't need a million comments on being grateful. I practice gratitude in my daily life. I get it. I am probably one of the most grateful people on the planet. But sometimes shit just hurts and just because I need to complain a little doesn't mean I'm not grateful for every head butt in the ribs or kick in the cuchina.
In other news, the Nascar pit crew that the military sent to pack us finished 85% of the packing yesterday and thinks they'll be done by noon today. These guys are AMAZING! Let me just say, too, that if you are a military family and get packed up by TMO offer to buy them lunch. Most times they won't accept, but they surely appreciate the offer and will work extra hard for you. The lead guy yesterday told me most people don't even offer which made me sad. I offer everyone who does work at my house at least a glass of water or a soda or something. I think it just is a nice common courtesy.
Oh, and the toddler has decided she would like to start using the potty. When we are living in a hotel, about to have a baby, and my mom and sister are going to be watching her in a couple weeks. The toddler has impeccable timing.
Okay, I need to go shower. I have to stop and get donuts before I head over to our house with the toddler. Mmmmmm donuts....
So, yeah...
With the toddler I had horrible acid reflux my whole pregnancy. The kind where you wake up suffocating on your own stomach acid. It was a super good time.
With this munchkin I've had horrible leg pain. Not Charlie horse leg pain (although I did have one of those the other night, too), but just joint pain. My hips, knees, ankles all are painful at night.
Did I mention we are living in a hotel now? We made a valiant effort to have the toddler sleep on her cot last night, but when she was still awake at almost 10pm I called. Time of death 9:54pm. The little con artist had outlasted us.
We threw her in bed with us and all went to sleep. I woke up to use the restroom, thinking I had to have been in bed awhile. Nope. It was 11:19.
Back to bed. Woke up again because my hips hurt and I had to pee. Surely it was the middle of the night. Nope. 1:09. Sweet mother of God!
Back to bed. Woke up again. Well, you know the story. This time birds were outside chirping so surely it was close to daybreak. Nope. 3:08am. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME????? I know most people would be thrilled to think they get an extra 2, 3, 4 hours of sleep, but I was just ready to get out of bed and get up for the day so my legs would feel better.
I finally decided to sit up in bed which did help my hips except the toddler had a nightmare and decided she needed to lay on mommy. Not such an easy task when mommy is sitting up.
I felt like night was never going to end which I tried to be grateful for at 3:08am when I was sitting on the toilet for what felt like the 50th time. Ya know last night on earth and all that crap.
And lest you think I'm just a complainer I am super grateful for this pregnancy and for what looks like a healthy baby in there. I don't need a million comments on being grateful. I practice gratitude in my daily life. I get it. I am probably one of the most grateful people on the planet. But sometimes shit just hurts and just because I need to complain a little doesn't mean I'm not grateful for every head butt in the ribs or kick in the cuchina.
In other news, the Nascar pit crew that the military sent to pack us finished 85% of the packing yesterday and thinks they'll be done by noon today. These guys are AMAZING! Let me just say, too, that if you are a military family and get packed up by TMO offer to buy them lunch. Most times they won't accept, but they surely appreciate the offer and will work extra hard for you. The lead guy yesterday told me most people don't even offer which made me sad. I offer everyone who does work at my house at least a glass of water or a soda or something. I think it just is a nice common courtesy.
Oh, and the toddler has decided she would like to start using the potty. When we are living in a hotel, about to have a baby, and my mom and sister are going to be watching her in a couple weeks. The toddler has impeccable timing.
Okay, I need to go shower. I have to stop and get donuts before I head over to our house with the toddler. Mmmmmm donuts....
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Nothing Says Good Morning
Like a Charlie horse in your calf. And nothing scares a toddler like waking up, walking into mommy's and daddy's bedroom, and finding daddy running around the bed like its on fire while mommy flops around her back like an upside down turtle as daddy screams "What can I do?" And Mommy screams,"Get me up, get me up."
I thought I was soooo lucky with Em because I never had 1 Charlie horse and I was thinking maybe I'd be sooo lucky this time, too.
Apparently not.
I thought I was soooo lucky with Em because I never had 1 Charlie horse and I was thinking maybe I'd be sooo lucky this time, too.
Apparently not.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Goodbyes
Last night we had some of our friends over, sort of a reverse housewarming party as we are moving into a hotel this weekend until we move at the end of June. We had already sold our patio furniture and grill, people had to bring their own chairs, and we just ordered pizzas, but none of that mattered.
Last night Paul wrote down on our calendar when everyone was leaving...May 2, June 2, June 25, July 3...
As I took a shower this morning I got a little teary eyed. I think it finally hit me that we would be saying goodbye to these people sooner rather than later. These people who have been our family for the last 4 years, these people who are the people I would and did call if Paul was out of town, these people who are our friends and I'm going to miss them more than they'll know.
We aren't perfect. We have our flaws like any family. We've seen each other get married, have babies, fall out of love and back in it again, move, and have spent Thanksgivings, Christmases, and Easters with, but above all we've shared lots of laughter.
I really felt I was ready to move. I didn't think I'd cried. But I guess I was wrong.
Last night Paul wrote down on our calendar when everyone was leaving...May 2, June 2, June 25, July 3...
As I took a shower this morning I got a little teary eyed. I think it finally hit me that we would be saying goodbye to these people sooner rather than later. These people who have been our family for the last 4 years, these people who are the people I would and did call if Paul was out of town, these people who are our friends and I'm going to miss them more than they'll know.
We aren't perfect. We have our flaws like any family. We've seen each other get married, have babies, fall out of love and back in it again, move, and have spent Thanksgivings, Christmases, and Easters with, but above all we've shared lots of laughter.
I really felt I was ready to move. I didn't think I'd cried. But I guess I was wrong.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Phoebe (FRIENDS) - The Evander Holyfield Phase aka Rock My World
Let's just say that right now I am going through a Rock phase as in Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as in the man of my dreams...literally...every freaking night and there is nothing I can do in my actual life to alleviate any residual symptoms which sort of sucks for Paul right now because he'd be getting lucky every night.
Of course 2 nights ago I dreamt that I was at someone's house (John Cena's?) eating burritos with The Rock and my cousin Katie. So bizarre.
But last night...well, I'll leave that up to your imagination. And if someone wants to get me a lifesize cardboard cutout of The Rock I would not object in any way. Just message me for my address. Thanks!
Monday, April 15, 2013
Hot Mess part 156
2:20am
Em, "I WANT DADDY! I WANT DADDY! I WANT MOMMY!"
Paul stumbles into Em's room and brings her back into our bed.
Em, "Water please, mommy. Sip of water."
Me, "Here's some water. Go to sleep."
6:18am
Em, "Mommy milk. Milk mommy please."
I stumble downstairs, get the milk, haul my giant whale body back upstairs, and give my sweet toddler her milk.
6:28am
Em, "Go potty, Mommy. Go potty."
Me, "You need to go potty?"
Em, "Go potty."
Hustle her to the bathroom, notice her diaper has leaked and her jammie pants are wet, read Green Eggs and Ham TWICE, she does NOT go potty.
6:40am
Back to bed and notice a HUGE wet spot on our sheets. Strip off the bottom sheet, put 2 pillow cases over the wet spot on our mattress, pull up the top sheet, throw Em back on bed, and crawl between top sheet and blanket. Give Em my phone so she can watch Rapunzel.
7:00am
Em, "Wake up. Wake up."
Come downstairs. Get Em set up with breakfast. Go into basement to let dogs out and notice that our boxer has peed all over the floor. Luckily, she peed on the rug remnant we use to wipe our feet in the unfinished basement. Sigh.
Haul whale body back upstairs, throw sheets into washing machine, get my breakfast, try to work.
Em fusses on and off ALL FREAKING MORNING. Finally finish most of what I need to do and off we head to Target.
I could not look worse today if I had tried. My hair looks like rats have nested in it over night, none of my maternity shirts fit, but thank goodness for maternity pants and that panel of fabric that goes up and over your belly. Luckily I can't see anything below the top of my stomach so I don't care that the rest of the world is subject to viewing the belly panel, and I barely could muster up the energy to put on moisturizer much less make up.
And I fed my daughter something called a chicken stick for lunch that came in a jar of oil because I didn't realize we were out of frozen chicken nuggets.
Maybe I should've gone to Walmart today instead of Target.
Em, "I WANT DADDY! I WANT DADDY! I WANT MOMMY!"
Paul stumbles into Em's room and brings her back into our bed.
Em, "Water please, mommy. Sip of water."
Me, "Here's some water. Go to sleep."
6:18am
Em, "Mommy milk. Milk mommy please."
I stumble downstairs, get the milk, haul my giant whale body back upstairs, and give my sweet toddler her milk.
6:28am
Em, "Go potty, Mommy. Go potty."
Me, "You need to go potty?"
Em, "Go potty."
Hustle her to the bathroom, notice her diaper has leaked and her jammie pants are wet, read Green Eggs and Ham TWICE, she does NOT go potty.
6:40am
Back to bed and notice a HUGE wet spot on our sheets. Strip off the bottom sheet, put 2 pillow cases over the wet spot on our mattress, pull up the top sheet, throw Em back on bed, and crawl between top sheet and blanket. Give Em my phone so she can watch Rapunzel.
7:00am
Em, "Wake up. Wake up."
Come downstairs. Get Em set up with breakfast. Go into basement to let dogs out and notice that our boxer has peed all over the floor. Luckily, she peed on the rug remnant we use to wipe our feet in the unfinished basement. Sigh.
Haul whale body back upstairs, throw sheets into washing machine, get my breakfast, try to work.
Em fusses on and off ALL FREAKING MORNING. Finally finish most of what I need to do and off we head to Target.
I could not look worse today if I had tried. My hair looks like rats have nested in it over night, none of my maternity shirts fit, but thank goodness for maternity pants and that panel of fabric that goes up and over your belly. Luckily I can't see anything below the top of my stomach so I don't care that the rest of the world is subject to viewing the belly panel, and I barely could muster up the energy to put on moisturizer much less make up.
And I fed my daughter something called a chicken stick for lunch that came in a jar of oil because I didn't realize we were out of frozen chicken nuggets.
Maybe I should've gone to Walmart today instead of Target.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Preschool
Holy crap. I just emailed the director of admissions for an international school where we are moving. I don't know if I'm ready for all this.
The school is great. Em would be exposed to both French and Spanish in the toddler program and then the preschool program is a full immersion program. I am NOT ready for the preschool program. They go on field trips. I think I'd have a heart attack. But a 2 morning a week toddler program...I might be able to xanax my way through that.
The thing is that I'm really excited for the possibility of this opportunity for Em. I think she'd love it and I think she'd learn a lot and she loves to play with other kids and it would allow me alone time with the new baby.
But.....
All I can think about is the school shooting in CT and all those sweet babies killed.
I know I cannot live my life with Em strapped to my side. It's not healthy for her and it's not healthy for me. I don't want her to grow up afraid of every little thing. She deserves to explore the world.
So, assuming tuition is not a billion dollars per semester and that they still have openings I will work through my fears and anxiety and enroll Em in the toddler program. For I truly believe that it is only through facing the things that scare us and overcoming them do we really grow as people.
The school is great. Em would be exposed to both French and Spanish in the toddler program and then the preschool program is a full immersion program. I am NOT ready for the preschool program. They go on field trips. I think I'd have a heart attack. But a 2 morning a week toddler program...I might be able to xanax my way through that.
The thing is that I'm really excited for the possibility of this opportunity for Em. I think she'd love it and I think she'd learn a lot and she loves to play with other kids and it would allow me alone time with the new baby.
But.....
All I can think about is the school shooting in CT and all those sweet babies killed.
I know I cannot live my life with Em strapped to my side. It's not healthy for her and it's not healthy for me. I don't want her to grow up afraid of every little thing. She deserves to explore the world.
So, assuming tuition is not a billion dollars per semester and that they still have openings I will work through my fears and anxiety and enroll Em in the toddler program. For I truly believe that it is only through facing the things that scare us and overcoming them do we really grow as people.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Toddlers
My toddler just had a meltdown. I'm talking sitting on the floor, crying hysterically, inconsolable because we were outside, she wasn't listening, and I made her come inside. I could feel myself getting frustrated with her so I took a deep breath and picked her up and we went and sat on the couch until she calmed down. I spoke softly to her while she cried, encouraged her to stop crying, and tell me what was wrong. She was calm within a few minutes because I was calm. I'm not saying I'm a perfect parent. I am far from it, but I do try to improve my parenting skills every day and be a better today than I was yesterday.
The thing is toddlers don't have the language skills or the emotional understanding to express what they are feeling verbally. Yes, I believe my toddler was mad, but she doesn't have the words to tell me she was mad that she had to come inside. She also doesn't have the language skills to necessarily understand why we had to come inside. She was expressing her frustration the only way she knew how...by crying and pitching a fit.
In moments like these try to put yourself in your toddlers place. Physically get down on their level. Sit with them, hold them, talk to them calmly. Help your toddler learn how to express themselves by letting them know it's okay to tell you when they are mad/sad/frustrated/happy/etc. Encourage your toddler to stop crying and talk to you as much as they are able at this young age.
If you need a time out then take a time out. It's better to remove yourself from the situation or ask a trusted friend or family member to hang out with your child for a few minutes while you calm down than it is to take your frustrations out on your child. Never discipline your child when you are angry or take your frustrations out on your child. Remember your child isn't doing anything wrong...they are acting like a toddler, learning self expression. You have a choice to maintain control and be patient with your child. You have the ability to maintain control and demonstrate patience.
Parenting is hard. It's a lot of work. It takes a lot of patience. Your child needs and deserves an amazing parent. That doesn't mean being a perfect parent, but rather it means that you actively work on your parenting skills. We all need help and advice from time to time.
Serenity Counseling Online is here to help. Whether you are looking to strengthen your parenting skills, need someone to talk to about parenting, or have questions on how to work with your particular child don't hesitate to contact us.
The thing is toddlers don't have the language skills or the emotional understanding to express what they are feeling verbally. Yes, I believe my toddler was mad, but she doesn't have the words to tell me she was mad that she had to come inside. She also doesn't have the language skills to necessarily understand why we had to come inside. She was expressing her frustration the only way she knew how...by crying and pitching a fit.
In moments like these try to put yourself in your toddlers place. Physically get down on their level. Sit with them, hold them, talk to them calmly. Help your toddler learn how to express themselves by letting them know it's okay to tell you when they are mad/sad/frustrated/happy/etc. Encourage your toddler to stop crying and talk to you as much as they are able at this young age.
If you need a time out then take a time out. It's better to remove yourself from the situation or ask a trusted friend or family member to hang out with your child for a few minutes while you calm down than it is to take your frustrations out on your child. Never discipline your child when you are angry or take your frustrations out on your child. Remember your child isn't doing anything wrong...they are acting like a toddler, learning self expression. You have a choice to maintain control and be patient with your child. You have the ability to maintain control and demonstrate patience.
Parenting is hard. It's a lot of work. It takes a lot of patience. Your child needs and deserves an amazing parent. That doesn't mean being a perfect parent, but rather it means that you actively work on your parenting skills. We all need help and advice from time to time.
Serenity Counseling Online is here to help. Whether you are looking to strengthen your parenting skills, need someone to talk to about parenting, or have questions on how to work with your particular child don't hesitate to contact us.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Time Changes
It's hard to believe that last Easter weekend I was going through a miscarriage and my friend/ex-boyfriend committed suicide. Although it was a tragic weekend, it was also one of the best weekends of my life. That may sound odd considering the grief that surrounded that Easter, but we also had one of the best weekends ever. We attended the White House Easter Egg Roll with my cousin Katheryn. We also got to spend parts of the weekend with my other cousins, Katie and Devon and Devon's fiance Connor as well as going to the National Zoo with our dear Air Force friends, the Beach's (check out Ali's blog). We also saw other awesome military friends, the Early's. In the midst of heartbreak, it is still possible to appreciate and enjoy life.
It's amazing the changes that can occur in a year. Right now I'm 33 weeks pregnant and 6 weeks away from having our newest addition Elizabeth. This Easter we also got to enjoy Emma really getting into coloring and hunting for Easter eggs. We saw how truly grown up she is getting when we took her to the playground today after a delicious Easter brunch and she was able to climb up and down and slide and run all over. Her language skills are amazing to us and she uses full sentences and the appropriate pronouns.
Although Paul tried to hurt himself and Emma going down a tall, fast slide (how I wish I had my video camera out) by tripping as he came off the slide and doing a full forward flip holding onto Emma (he may have been trying to put me into labor) we had a great time at the playground. I may burst into hysterical tears if we have any more snow because we have had a NICE weekend.
And hopefully next Easter we will all be healthy and happy and maybe we'll get to take both girls back to the White House Easter Egg Roll (hint, hint Katheryn).
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