I am surprised that my anxiety has actually lessened with Paul being gone although I have been frantically cleaning and organizing and working on the house. I think all the activity keeps me from thinking about him being gone plus our repair work is finally done--Mary came today to clean and get rid of all the drywall dust that covered everything while I washed curtains and bedding and put Stinky's room back together. I pray we have a mild winter and don't have to go through all that again. Of course I know it can always be worse and I reminded myself of that on a daily and sometime minute by minute basis while the repairmen were here.
Poor Stinky's been stuck sleeping in the pack and play in the upstairs guest room. (I wish I had invented the pack and play. That person's a genius.) She is finally back in her crib, in her room and the first thing she does when I put her to bed is roll over and get her foot caught in between the bars. She was not happy about that and I felt so bad for her when I went in to get her. Now I'm paranoid about her rolling over although when she has rolled over in the past she always wakes up. It may be a long night.
Paul has been off to the sandbox for a week almost. It is starting to feel less like he's TDY and more like what it is...a 6 month deployment. I'm so busy taking care of Stinky that I haven't really thought about it much other than missing him like crazy. We've talked every day even though it's usually only for 5 minutes, but those are the 5 minutes I look forward to most out of the day (other than seeing Stinky's smiling face first thing in the morning). My anxiety is actually improved because I don't have that dread of the anticipation of him leaving anymore. Now I just can deal with my regular old anxiety.
Paul emailed me some items he needs so Stinky and I headed to Walmart today to pick them up. I HATE Walmart, but we also needed to go to Home Depot to get Paul some chain and I really didn't want to leave our town to go to Target.
Let me back up...first we went to Cracker Barrel for lunch and while we were walking behind the hostess and waited while she grabbed a tray thingy for the car seat a guy says to me, "You should just put her down." Um, what? I just smiled and said we were about to be seated. Of course then I was paranoid that this guy was going to come over and try to steal my baby or be waiting to kidnap us when we left (I watch way too much Criminal Minds and Investigation Discovery channel).
We head to Home Depot for the chain. I ask the HD employee WHO IS IN THE CHAIN AISLE if I can get some chain and he stairs at me like I have grown a 2nd head. Really? And then he's not friendly about DOING HIS JOB at all. Usually people at our HD are overly friendly. This guy apparently is new.
Then it was off to Walmart. Stinky is like a celebrity baby. Everyone wants to touch her, talk to her, smile at her. It's exhausting. I wasn't super popular in high school so all this attention is a little much. haha Anyways, this woman comes up and is talking to us and asking about Stinky and saying how alert she is (we get that a lot...are other babies sluggish and slow? People always seem surprised.), etc. Finally I make my escape (this woman was very nice and quite the talker) and ran into this woman later on in the bedding section because she stalked me through Walmart to ASK ME IF I WANTED A PART TIME JOB. Um, what? I was flattered because she said I was "awesome" (which, let's face it, I am), but I declined. I didn't even ask her what the job was because A) I have no interest in working and B) we are at Walmart. If you had approached me say at Ann Taylor or Coach I may have been more interested in your part time employment.
We ran to the post office to get shipping boxes and customs forms and then headed home. Stinky took a nap while I did Zumba (there will be a post on that).
I miss Paul soooooo much. I put his king size pillow next to me on the bed so I can pretend he's sleeping next to me. :( I can't imagine how people survived their loved ones going to war before the age of skype, Facebook, and long distance. Having to wait weeks for a letter must have been agonizing and I can't imagine the anxiety I'd feel during Paul's deployment if I couldn't talk to him on a regular basis. God bless those families and all they went through while waiting on news from their loved ones.
Happy birthday to my BFF Cory! She's older than me. hehe
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