T25 day 2

Holy sore legs.  In the first 2 minutes of working out today I wanted to cry.  No dry heaving though!  It is clear to me that I can NOT work out when the kids are awake.  Between the baby crying in her swing while trying to fall asleep and the toddler asking for a new snack every 10 seconds and trying to work out with me and the husband rushing in to grab his suitcase in order to rush off on a work trip, I think I took 10 breaks BUT I eventually got it done.  My 25 minutes turned into 60 minutes of working out.  haha

I think the husband's fave part today was when my legs gave out and I fell over as he sat on the couch tying his shoes. 

I think tomorrow I'll have to try and work out while the toddler is in school.  Assuming I can move when I wake up in the morning.

T25 Day 1

Holy mother of .....

My cousin, who has become super fit, let me borrow the first T25 DVD and I just finished my first work out. You know how you work out and you feel good and feel like you're pretty fit and then you get pregnant and don't work out for a year and try to start again and it pretty much sucks ass...yeah that.

My favorite part, other than the 2 minute cool down at the end, was how I couldn't keep up with the woman doing the modified work out.  The absolute best part was when I had to take a break every 2 minutes to dry heave in the living room followed by going upstairs to shower, finding dog poop on the bathroom floor, and gagging into the toilet. 

Since if you looked at me naked from the front you may confuse with me

I really can't go on the way I have been.  I know I've said this before, but I can no longer see my feet. 

Wish me luck!  I'll keep you posted!

Stroller Strides

So, I've been going to Stroller Strides and last Friday was a banner day for me. To keep things in perspective for you, you can probably imagine how someone feels after finishing a marathon...super proud of themselves and exhausted...that's how I feel every time I work out. Every single time. I guess because exercise has made such a rare appearance in my life for the last few years that the fact that I have been consistently going for a month continues to amaze me.

Anyways, Stroller Strides. I met my friend Jessica last Monday for class and Tuesday could barely move. I hurt in places that I didn't even know I had muscles in. Friday when I showed up to class there were 4 pregnant women in class, one of whom was 38 weeks pregnant. I flashed back on to when I was 38 weeks pregnant with Em and I can guarantee my ass was NOT running, doing jumping jacks, or push ups. I can't even do a jumping jack now without becoming winded (as evidenced during SS on Friday). These pregnant women ran circles around me! Literally because we did a lot of running and I did get lapped a few times by a prego or 4. And my push ups...abysmal! We did push ups off a metal barrier thingy and I had my legs bent at a 90 degree angle to my waist to the point that my calves became sore. lol I guess flexibility isn't in my vocabulary either.

My other favorite part was that 3 of the pregos were thinner than I am and 1 of the non pregos in class was so thin that I am not sure how she carried a child inside her (actually most of the women in class are so thin that I wonder how they carried a child). It's never a good day when you're heavier than a pregnant woman. But it does motivate me to continue working out.

So on Friday I was proud of myself for going, I did enjoy class because we were outside and it was beautiful, but I was definitely embarrassed by my lack of physical fitness.

I need some ice cream. Ice cream makes everything better. Back to SS tomorrow.

Pear, Apple, Muffin top, Pooch

Oprah's January O magazine had an article called "Your Biggest Dressing Dilemmas Solved."  Since I walk that thin line between looking like a mom who hasn't slept in a year and looking like a homeless person I thought I better read this article in depth.  Basically it talked about how to solve "your most pressing body problems once and for all through strategic use of shapewear, clothing, and accessories."  Of course what I read was "you don't have to go to the gym or eat healthy in an attempt to lose weight because you can hide it all with clothing and scarves!"  Until I started the article and realized how many problem areas I have.  Let me just give you a quick recap of what my problem areas are:

Turkey neck: thank goodness not yet!  Although double chin wasn't mentioned and this is an area on which I'm teetering on the edge...luckily I've noticed that my double chinness is most related to the mornings after I have too many glasses of wine.  So now I just watch my drinking more carefully.

Muffin top:  A muffin top can be solved with $70 panties or some $49 pants.  Their solution to get rid of it for good: to give up alcohol, sugar, processed carbs, and excessive dairy...well, really who would even want to live after giving up all those delicious things and you have to exercise on top of it...no thank you.  And I know Paul's not gonna spring for $70 control top panties so I guess I will just continue to buy bigger sizes of my fave Target jeans and khakis. 

Pooch:  Considering I look like I could birth and house baby kangaroos in my pooch this is an area I struggle with...it's even better now that I have the famous after baby hangover (95% of moms will know what I'm talking about,  the other 5% are skinny, have flat bellies, and have clearly sold their souls to satan to get that way).  I don't see myself walking around in high waist panties (are they made of gold???  Why are they so expensive???  Maybe it's all the extra material needed to make them high waisted) to go to the grocery so maybe I should start saving up for some surgery (the most effective option according to O magazine).  Oh, you can also disguise with fitted tunics. 

Armpit fat:  Thank goodness I live in the cold northeast and no longer have to worry about tank tops.  Or nice clothes. 

Bat wings:  I'm getting there, but am not ready to fly away yet. 

Mom butt:  This is a flat butt.  I've got more junk in my trunk that JLo so I don't need padded panties or butt lifting shorts. 

Chub rub:  My thighs rub together so much when I walk I'm surprised my underwear don't catch on fire.  I have worn the inside thighs out of many a pair of pants from my chub rub (what a depressing phrase that is).  Their solution is to wear thick biker shorts and tights under clothes and I will confess that I've worn bike shorts under skirts and dresses to avoid rubbing all the skin off my inner thighs when I walk. 

Cankles:  No, my ankles are quite shapely thank you. 

Back fat:  I look like I have 4 boobies...2 in the front and 2 sprouting off my back.  A former nickname of mine given by a friend...Backfat Betty (why does the name Betty follow me everywhere?).

Double boobs:  I have saggy post breastfeeding boobies so my cups no longer runneth over.  But if you have bigger breasticles then you might have this problem.  If so get properly fitted for a full coverage bra..no demi cups for you. 

As I realized that I can't afford to buy a whole new wardrobe to cover my muffin top, pooch, armpit fat, chub rub, and back fat I decided to join the gym.  I've been pretty consistent about going and I'm quite proud of myself for that, but today I got my butt kicked by the senior citizens. 

I added the circuit to my cardio workout today.  This is supposed to be the super easy, no adjusting the seats, very easy to adjust the weights for people who haven't worked out in awhile.  It's so easy that instead of word instructions there is just a picture.  So, the first machine I don't realize the other side of the machine says what the machine is (ab crunch, lat pull downs, etc.) and I look at the picture and I think it's some sort of arm exercise.  I finish the exercise and move on.  I'm on about the 5th machine when an older woman comes in, gets on the 1st machine, and I realize oh that is an ab crunch machine NOT an arm machine.  That makes much more sense!  So I head back over that way and notice that she has increased the weight from what I had on it by like 40lbs.  Now you may be thinking "But wait, you thought it was an arm machine so that makes sense."  I initially had that thought until I COULDN'T DO THE EXERCISE ON THE WEIGHT SHE HAD IT SET ON.  I had to decrease it back down by 40lbs.  Sad.  She was like 55 years old. 

I do the circuit for 3 reps of each machine and by the end I can barely breathe.   I am huffing and puffing like I've just run a frickin marathon!  I used to be in such good shape (ok that was like 14 years ago, but still I think about those days all the time)....what happened to me???

Then my friend Rebekah (who is also my doctor by the way) has raved about the arc trainer and how awesome it is.  As I've just watched a 75 year old rock the arc trainer for 45 minutes while he read a newspaper I thought piece of cake.  Hahaha jokes on me!  First I could barely balance on the stupid thing much less read a magazine and then within 30 seconds of starting I felt like I was having a heart attack!  I made myself complete 5 minutes all while holding on with a death grip in case I went flying out the 2nd floor window. 

To round out my target goal of 30 minutes of cardio I finished with a leisurely stationary bike reading while reading my Better Homes and Garden. 

And then I came home and took a nap. 

My Mt. Fuji

Our friends Chelsea & George recently climbed Mt. Fuji in Japan.  Now considering I couldn't even make it to the top of the Bunker Hill Memorial I know without a doubt that I could not make it to the top of Mt. Fuji.  Could not, would not, don't want to.  Nothing about spending 7 hours climbing through the night, sucking on a can of oxygen, to see the sunrise followed by altitude sickness sounds fun to me.  God bless the people that do it though cause that sh*t sounds hard. 

That being said Em and I have been walking around Horn Pond.  It's a pretty good size lake near us that is surrounded by paths and trails.  There are tons of people there all the time so I feel pretty safe (although one day I wandered down a path alone and then was a nervous nelly walking back after it dead ended because I have watched too many Criminal Minds episodes).  Saturday I met a man there..he has 5 great grandchildren ranging in age from 7 months to 15 years (4 girls and 1 boy), is a retired police officer and prosecutor, AND goes to the gym 3 days a week and walks 3 days a week.  All I could think was "Gosh, I suck."  My eating is out of control and walking for an hour a day is really only stopping me from getting any heavier versus actually losing any weight.  I have not only fallen off the Weight Watchers wagon, but the wagon was struck by an ice cream truck and destroyed.  I am addicted to sugar as evidenced by my cavity.

Sunday my friend Danielle came with us and I wanted to look for an old reservoir that is there.  We found a trail heading straight up the side of a hill so off we went.  Five minutes into our hike and I am gasping for air.  I wished I had one of those cans of oxygen.  I wasn't aware that Emma weighs 80 lbs.  Up, up, up we go and I fall farther and farther behind Danielle.  Mostly I am hoping she will say we can turn around although I should've known that Danielle is much more athletic than me and that was not likely to happen.  At one point she went ahead and yelled back that it flattened out around the bend.  Um, BIG FAT LIAR.  It was flat for about 8 steps and then it was back up hill. 

On our journey up we passed a man who was RUNNING down.  He stopped and offered to push the stroller up because it was really steep.  Oh all that is holy, I was so tempted to take him up on his offer, but I reached deep into my heaving gut and manned up (remember I walked 60 miles in 3 days without training). 

Finally we made it to the top!

You can't really tell from this pic, but we could see downtown Boston

the reservoir

My eyes are shut tight because the sweat dripping into
them is burning my retinas--that's not a smile,
it's a grimace of pain

Horn Pond

Of course what goes up must come down and we spent what seemed like forever trying to determine if we could continue on the path we were on or we needed to go back the way we came.  Turns out the path we were on was not conducive to pushing a stroller down as evidenced by the fact that one part of it was sheer rock.  We headed back down the path we came up and who should pass but the man who offered to help us with the stroller.  Apparently he was just running up and down the mountain.  God love him.  This man passed us like 8 times.  I was just trying to keep the stroller from hurtling down the mountain.  Thank goodness for the wrist strap. 

After our hard work we took our sweaty bodies and headed to Orange Leaf for some fro yo.  I've been wanting to try it, it was good, I probably won't go back.  My night ended with a soak in the tub, praising God for giving us this tub.   

So I sit here watching Kate Plus 8 and I wonder the following:

How can I get Paul to pay for me to have lipo and breast implants like Kate?  She looks way skinny!

When and how did she become such a hateful person?

Gotta go.  Have a busy day tomorrow packing for Dallas and running errands.