Homecoming

I've been thinking about what I would write about Paul's homecoming.  Do you want to hear about our ride to Virginia with myself, Emma, and Grandma Joan?  Probably not (although at this point I know some funny things happened and I can't even remember them). 

We left Florida on January 4th and I dropped Joan off near Richmond on January 5th.  FYI Richmond is NOT a pet friendly city and it took me forever to find a hotel room that would take my 10lb chihuahua.  Really Richmond?  Tell your mayor to be expecting my letter. 

On January 6th we headed up to Gainesville, VA to stay with my friend Mary.  I thought we'd be at Mary's until the 10th and then on the 7th I got a phone call at 1am to sign in to facebook so I could instant message with Paul (thank goodness for newborn baby Gracie keeping her mommy up so Paul had someone who could call me lol).  He told me he was coming home on the 8th!  Of course this early homecoming involved him flirting with a staff sergeant to get an earlier plane, but since I know Paul is a flirt AND he got a seat on the plane then it's all good. 

The 7th was spent running around getting stuff for dinner as my cousins were coming over! 

I am the oldest cousin on my dad's side.  None of us have ever lived near each other or seen each other that often, but as we've gotten older I feel that we've made an effort to connect and get to know each other and spend time together.  Of course Devon and Kathryn both live in the DC area and Kait is in college.  I'm after them to come to Boston for Kait's 21st so I can be dd.  Devon's fiance Connor was also at dinner and my friend Mary (seeing as it was her house and all), but this is just a pic of the cousins. 

On the 8th I woke up feeling incredibly anxious.  Yes, I was excited, but it was so overwhelming to know that in the afternoon Paul would be home that I could hardly stand myself.  I followed Mary up towards Baltimore and of course I had to get there super early so we planned on eating lunch near the airport (Timbuktu was the name of the restaurant.  It looks like a dump outside, but inside the waiters are dressed up and the tables have linen tableclothes and cloth napkins and it was really yummy).  I almost ordered a cocktail at lunch because my heart was beating so fast! 

We got to the airport at about 2pm and got to the gate at 2:15 or so.  I thought we'd have to wait as the arrivals board still said his plane was getting in at 3:30.  An employee walked by and told us that they'd be walking out in 20 minutes or so.  What?????   There was a Sergeant there so I asked him what plane was in thinking it was another plane.  Nope it was Paul's.  Unfortunately our friends Jamie and Ronnie were on their way to the airport and I told them to turn around since they'd get there way after Paul had deplaned.  Our friend Jon came and so did my cousins (and it was Kathryn's birthday).  You know you have amazing friends when they'll drive over an hour to the airport just to welcome your husband home. 

Waiting for Dada

Mary and Emma

First hug and kiss

Dada and baby love

So happy

Dinner at the Cracker Barrell (Paul says yay for sweet tea)

And dada giving baby sweet tea

I have more pictures on my camera, but haven't uploaded them onto my computer yet.  It is so wonderful having Paul home if for no other reason than to have someone feed and bath the baby.  haha  And in one more week we leave for a family vacation.  Life for sure doesn't get any better.  We are blessed beyond measure and couldn't ask for anything more at this point. 

I will ask though for prayers for peace for Tripp Roth.  He is not doing well and his time here on earth is drawing to a close.  He is so little to be in so much pain and his mother just wants peace for him in whatever form it comes.  So say extra prayers and hold your own children close and realize the blessings you have in your own life.  Tripp and his mama are amazingly beautiful and their faith in God is inspiring.  Tripp inspires me to be grateful for every second I have with Emma and to thank God for all the blessings in my life.  He is truly an angel on earth. 



Dorothy in Oz

I have one more day in Florida, 8 more days until Paul arrives back in the US.  I feel like Dorothy about to leave Oz.  You know the scene where she's saying goodbye to the Tin Man, Lion, and Scarecrow before getting into the hot air balloon with the wizard.  That is how I feel.  On one hand I am ready for life to get back to normal.  I am beyond excited to see Paul, but I'm also nervous, too.  It's a strange sensation to know that so much time has passed without seeing your spouse, touching them, hugging them, parenting with them.  On the other hand I have this pit in my stomach about saying goodbye to my mom and dad.  I am dreading the crying that I know will occur and also dreading how sad I know my parents are going to be to see their granddaughter leave.  And I feel just a little (ok a lot) guilty about that. 

To say I've been teary eyed the last few days is an understatement.  I feel overwhelmed by emotion.  I think anyone whose spouse has deployed knows how I feel.  It's hard to describe.  I've lived in denial about where Paul has been for the past 6 months, refusing to really think about it, just moving forward.  And now that it's almost over all those tears that I never let myself cry are bubbling up to the surface. 

Our little baby has grown and changed so much since Paul left.  She had just turned 4 months when he left, barely rolling over.  Now she is full out crawling, eating table food, has 3 teeth, talks all the time, and poops in the tub like it's her job.  And tonight and last night she went straight to sleep when I put her in the pack & play.  No fussing, no crying.  I feel so confused!  Of course she woke up this morning at 3am so hopefully we can avoid that tomorrow morning. 

Tomorrow will be spent packing up the mini van which is oh so more fabulous with my personalized plate, pink camo Air Force wife tag on the front, AND luggage carrier on top.  If someone had told me during my 20's that I'd one day being driving a mini van with a luggage carrier on the roof I'd have laughed all the ways into my 30's.  How far into mommyhood I've fallen.  I'm already planning our family vacations with our friends the Carters and the Phillips with our babies and how great it's going to be to put our luggage on the roof.  lol 

Hope everyone is having a great 2012!

Dec. 19 (a Paul post)

December 19


It’s been forever since I wrote a journal entry. I started off doing one every day. Sadly the days just started to get monotonous, so I felt like every day was the same. And of course since I am a creature of habit I didn’t do updates when some cool stuff happened. So I figure I should fill in a few stories that have happened over the past coupe month:

--The Convoy: Now that I have made my last trip until I head home, I can now say that I had the interesting experience of doing a couple convoys. Of course until now, Jenn and no one else back home knew about it. I knew they would be worried. The first convoy I took was between two very close bases. I was told it was super safe (as safe as a convoy can be), the road was well travel by the Army, the road was watched by both bases, and there hadn’t been any activity in a long time. So they loaded me up and off we went. Even though it is a safe convoy I still was worried and not afraid to admit scared. Looking around the truck I saw not just calm, but bored faces on the soldiers. They do this all the time. I stared out the window and watched as we passed cars, bicycles, and people. All those Youtube videos if IEDs and stuff just kept playing in my head. It was only a 15 minutes ride, so about half way there I started to relax. Then I was told to hold on because there was a rough spot in the road. I could tell we were driving through the biggest pothole I’ve seen. As we rattled back and forth the soldier next to me said “yeah that was a big IED.” Apparently we were going through the hole created by a huge blast. Needless to say the pucker factor returned for the remaining part of the trip. Apparently my definition of “no activity in a long time” is not the same as their definition.

--The Cat’s Pardon: One of the services that our contractor does is Vector. This is pest and animal control. It is a serious infraction for American military members to have a pet. I’m talking about a career ending kind of infraction. One day I was walking back to my room and got stopped by an Air Force Captain and Sergeant, both female. They were telling me that the Vector had caught their cat. The Sergeant was crying. I told them it was a strey and had to be captured and put down. They then said it wasn’t a stray and I replied “then it’s a pet and that’s a General Order #1 violation and is a pretty big deal.” We discussed the dangers of rabies and other diseases (which was ironic because both of them were medical and knew all this stuff). Apparently the Polish vet on base that works with the military working dogs gave the cat shots and even spayed it. I told them it didn’t matter and the contractor was required to catch it and hand it over to be euthanized. The crying continued as I told them there was nothing I could do. A couple hours there was a knock on my door. The group included the same Captain, the Polish vet and his assistant, and the poor soldier that was responsible for doing the euthanizing. The Polish vet showed me some regulation that said “wild, native animals (ex bats, cats, etc) should be left alone. I asked how a cat with shots, that was spayed, and wearing a flee collar was supposed to be considered wild or native. We went back and forth for about 45 minutes and I finally just told them to go speak to the base’s Sergeant Major and I’ll let him decide. I figured this would end the discussion because who in their right mind would walk up to the Sergeant Major and say “I know I am violating a law that could end my career, but I really want to save this cat.” They were supposed to stop by and let me know what he said, but after a couple days I never heard from them. Issue resolved! Another day passed by and I ran into another nurse that works with them and said how sorry I was that it went down like it did. She looked confused and then said “the cat was allowed to live.” I couldn’t believe they actually asked and more so couldn’t believe the Sergeant Major actually agreed to the pardon. I ran into the Sergeant Major that night at dinner and asked him about it. I asked if their crying got to him and he looked down and said “did you know the day the cat was caught and all this went down was the Sergeant’s birthday?”

Sept. 5 (a lost Paul post)

September 5


Today was a tale of two nights. My day started off as normal. Mainly it was a day to remember how happy and lucky I am to be married to Jenn. Two years ago today she became my wife. Since we met, there has never been a question about her and I being made for each other. We enjoy being together no matter what we are doing including doing nothing. We rarely argue, but when we do it is never with cruel intent. Most of our arguments end with us laughing or with her telling me “frying pan” which came from a day when she told me she felt like hitting me with a frying pan. Our lives were made even better with the arrival of Emma. I never thought I could have a life so filled with joy and love. Jenn truly makes me feel like the luckiest man in the world!

One thing that Jenn is very good at is making me do things I should do. Tonight while we were talking on the phone there was a knock on my door. It was the Major that lives next door. He was asking me if I was going to a music night they were having on base. I told him I had already changed out of my uniform, was talking to my wife, and then heading to bed. Jenn asked who had come to the door, so I filled her in. Her response was to tell me to get dressed and go, because I should show support for stuff. She mentioned that I had previously mentioned how no one goes to things here and now she was making me do the right thing and go. So I got dressed and headed out.

This is when the night changed. I arrived at the music night and there was a delay. Sadly the reason for the delay was that they needed to take the speaker equipment to use for a ceremony. The ceremony was for an American civilian that was killed today at another FOB. They cancelled the movie night, but I remembered what Jenn said about needing to support the important stuff. So I headed out to the helicopter landing zone for the ceremony. This was a powerful event.

We lined up in formation along the side of the landing zone in complete darkness. The only light was the glow of light sticks to mark the landing zone. Over the speaker they said a few words about the man that passed. He was originally from Afghanistan and had moved to the USA when he was a child. When this war kicked off he volunteered to come back and help. He had gone on several missions and according to the speaker was “an invaluable part of their mission.” He was one of several people hit by a mortar. I don’t know the status of the others. Due to his connection with Afghanistan another speaker got on the microphone and said a prayer in their native language. They then played the national anthem. We all saluted and then felt the wind pick up. A helicopter came from the darkness and landed feet from us. As it landed, a pickup truck with the coffin approached followed by a group to transport the coffin to the helicopter. We held our salutes for what seemed like forever. But every time my arm got sore I thought about the pain his family was going to feel and I held the salute high and strong. The wind picked up and the helicopter took off.

I always hear on the news about how these civilian contractors make tons of money and even rip off the government. This man and the others injured/killed today were just doing their job. They were most likely sitting in their room maybe even talking to their wives (just like I was today). We gave this civilian the same honors we give to a fallen soldier and he deserves it. These civilians risk as much as we do and are many times forgotten.

Happiness Today

Happiness today was reading our daddy book (the recordable story my husband...well, recorded...before he left for Afghanistan) and watching Em shriek with laughter every time she heard dada's voice. 

Happiness today was watching my daughter frantically low crawl towards the computer every time I put it on the floor while we were skyping with daughter.  And little girl could probably give an actual soldier a run for his/her money in the low crawl department. 

Happiness today was leaving Em with her grandma while I went to the Y, sat in the hot tub, read my Nook (Nora Roberts anyone), and then went in the steam room.  Yes, I only use my Y membership for the hot tub, pool, and locker room amenities.  Don't judge me. 

Happiness today is knowing my sister will be here Thursday.

Happiness today is knowing my husband will be home in 23 days!  Yes, I said 23 days.  Let me say it again.  23 days.  That is 2 more days than 3 weeks!  Less than a month!  A period of time that will go by amazingly fast because of the holidays and packing and driving back to New England. 

Happiness. 

Christmas Letter

Hi,

Since I'm too lazy  cheap busy to send out Christmas cards this year I decided to save some money time and do a Christmas blog post.  Since I've also not been blogging as much this really kills 2 birds with 1 stone. 

So Christmas Greetings to all my family (although I am pretty sure only my sister and 1 cousin actually read my blog), friends, and Internet strangers...Happy Holidays!

I could start off by telling you all the wonderful goals I met this year, how I gained lost 20 30lbs, how I couldn't get past week 1 of couch to 5k ran a half marathon, and how I spent saved a ton of money while Paul was deployed.  I don't like to brag though so I won't write any of those things. 

Yes, we all know that the traditional holiday letter is supposed to be filled with all the wonderful events that you and your overachieving children have accomplished during the year, but this family is A) not overachieving, B) procrastinators, and C) spent the 1st half of the year pregnant and/or with a newborn and the 2nd half of the year separated with Paul deployed to Afghanistan and mom and baby traveling the eastern seaboard the world. 

I guess our biggest news was that we had a baby! (as if anyone you'd send a holiday letter to wouldn't already know that)  After a grueling-never been in this much pain in my life-why are you killing me peaceful and pain free 48 hours of failed induction, labor, and failed epidurals our beautiful Emma Grace arrived via emergency C-section. 

Just before c-section

Just after c-section (ps that's Paul, not the ob)

So, our year was very much about survival.  Paul's survival was a little more extreme has he traveled in helicopters around much of his region of Afghanistan (God bless those gunners on the helios for keeping a watchful eye out for terrorists and not allowing the helio my husband was in to be shot down Amen) while Em's and mine was more about surviving on our own--teething, a month+ long upper respiratory/ear infection that required 2 rounds of antibiotics each and steroids (for me) to finally get better (and now I'm sick again--I actually had the sad thought that maybe I was allergic to the Christmas tree we just bought as the 2 events seem to have coincided, but I refuse to have a fake tree so I will suffer), and missing our husband/father. 

We missed out on a 5 days with no power blizzard that hit New England (God bless our house/pet sitters as they were freezing with no power I was sweating to death lazing on the beach in Florida).  I am not sure how I would've handled that with Paul not there although I am sure there would've been a Ritz Carlton budget motel in the equation. 

Em and I traveled to Buffalo, Dallas, Cape Cod, drove down to FL, Valdosta, Amelia Island, Savannah, and Orlando AND will make the drive back up north in just about 3 weeks!  Hopefully stopping along the way to pick up Paul (because we know where he flew out of and are assuming he will fly back into the same place--if you know us at all you know how unlikely this is to happen, but we are nothing if not optimists).

Em is quite the social butterfly and is actually a pretty funny kid (thank God) and she is nosy as all get out.  We will have to work on her staring at others while blatantly listening to their conversation as she gets older, but thankfully her mama is nosy, too, and so will teach her the fine art of eavesdropping.  

I tried to give my chihuahua away to my sister, but I am such a great pet owner that he decided it wouldn't work out and is coming back to us.  He let her know that he was unhappy by peeing all over her carpet.  I told her that if she crates him when she leaves he is less likely to pee, but she felt bad (hello he's 10lbs and he's just gonna sleep while she's gone anyways--might as well sleep in the crate is how I look at it.  Don't judge me.  At my house the little dog crates are big enough that our 80lb boxer has squeezed into them--not on purpose or because I made her, but because she is that stupid). 

In a nutshell that was our year.  I am looking forward to seeing Paul, going on vacation, and getting home to our house and our life together.  I miss my Air Force family and can't wait to meet baby Felicity!  And I miss my nursing mother's group and can't wait to see the babies.  Emma misses all her baby boyfriends. 

Hope everyone has a fantastically wonderful Christmas and New Years!  I promise next year to send out actual Christmas cards and of course the brag letter.  :)

Much love,
Jenn, Paul, & Emma

Old Friends

The countdown has begun.  We have less than 30 days until Paul will be back in the US!  Of course we are hoping with fingers crossed that he flies into the same city he flew out of because that is where I am planning on picking him up.  lol  With our luck he'll fly back into some totally random city and I'll be stuck driving from FL to New England with an infant by myself.  Oh well.  All the tears and crying (both Em's and mine) on the way home will be worth it to see my love.   I feel like I'm starting to wake up after a long sleep.  Of course part of that may be because Em is sleeping better and I actually got 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep in a row last night. 

I think one of the best parts of my visit to Florida has been catching up with old friends...I'm talking people I haven't seen in over 15 years. 

Jo Ann, Cristin, Kyan, Shayla, Michele, Jenn


This is after many many martinis (mostly drunk by me and the precursor to my month long alcohol hiatus).  We were band nerds in high school (although I don't consider myself a nerd and I will admit that I was the worst flag twirler ever).  Michele--bad influence!  She was the one who taught me how to smoke and convinced me to have sex in high school!  And she's still a bad influence because she made me have a coke when I saw her over the weekend when I was trying to go a month without soda!  Anyway, we had a great time catching up and realized we hadn't seen each other in 17 years!  All of us are moms now which is so weird because when we were together it was like no time had passed at all.  (And I apologize to Shayla for having to endure a drunken ride home with me.  I blame Michele.)

Leah and Ryan with baby Emma

Leah was my college roommate and by extension so was Ryan because they have been together that long.  I love me some Leah and Ryan and always try to see them when I can.  They were nice enough to drive over to our hotel in Orlando for a very lengthy dinner (because our waiter was so slow--he tried to convince us to get the buffet, but we didn't listen.  Not winning).  Em was not sure about Ryan at first (maybe too much resemblance to that mean Santa) and Leah's laugh scared her, but they quickly won her over with their charm and she was fast friends with them by the end of the night. 

Jacob, Jenn, Tracie, Gene

This is part of the group of friends I hung out with when I worked at the Y in college (missing was Mike and Tanya and Sam who had just left and Lisa who has a teething infant).  I loved, loved, loved seeing these people with their kids and seeing what amazing parents they are (which is weird because we were drunk all the time in college).   It was so much fun catching up and talking about all our craziness and laughing about the Y.  When we were all hanging out Tracie's niece was an infant...she is now 15 years old!  I can't believe how much time has gone by and how quickly life is moving.  I probably hung out with these people more than any other group of people I knew during college (even more than my sorority sisters).  To tell you how long we've known each other when we met Jacob and Gene were in high school and I was a freshman in college.  I've been out of college since 1998. 

I love this picture because Isabella and Emma are staring at each other

Hailey, Alex, Isabella, Jenn, Emma, Lisa, Ryleigh (and just out of view was newborn baby Sydney)

I met these wonderful women (and our friend Nichelle) during new employee orientation at the school board.  We are all social workers and it was love at first sight.  At that time Alex was the only one married and none of us had kids.   Having a baby playdate yesterday made me miss living here for the first time (not that I don't miss my other friends every day).  There is something about spending time with good friends who have infants that speaks to my heart. 

There have been so many more friends that we've spent time with since we've been in Florida that I either don't have pictures of or the pictures are on my phone.  Em has made so many new friends in Florida.  She is a lucky little girl.  I can't believe we head home in roughly 3 weeks.  I feel like there are so many people I haven't gotten to see yet.  And I can't believe when we get home that we'll have an 11 month old!  (Em was 4 months when Paul left)  I just can't wait for him to re-meet his daughter and see in person how funny and wonderful she is (and not have to rely on skype).  He is never going to put her down when he first gets home (which works out well for me because I'm tired and I don't want to hold during our flight to the Caribbean haha). 

Hopefully everyone is enjoying their December and not letting the craziness of the holiday season ruin the reason for the season. 

Merry Christmas!

 

Christmas Cheer

My mom and I took Em to get her first picture with Santa Claus today.  Seeing as it's her first Christmas we I was pretty excited about it.  Paul was too and asked me to call him on skype so he could watch her reaction to Santa (and he didn't want me to get an iPhone--we couldn't have done that if I hadn't had the glory that is the iPhone).  They had a sign up that said no cell phones, no personal cameras.  Santa was on his lunch break so I explained our situation to the woman working and she said as far as she was concerned it was okay, but she'd have to ask Santa.  In our 5 minute conversation I learned that the woman was from NJ, has 2 kids, is about to become a grandmother in May, and her daughter got kicked in the face by a horse 2 weeks ago (please say a prayer for the unborn baby as the mom had to have surgery to repair her jaw and she was barely out of her first trimester when this occurred plus she's lost a lot of weight from not being able to eat anything), her first husband was in the army and her current husband spent 25 years in the Coast Guard.  Um, I think that was it.  Oh, and Santa retired from the military. 

I thanked her and went over to wait with my mom and Em.  Santa was off break at 2pm and about 1:45 the woman came over to get us.  Santa had agreed to see us early so we scrambled to get Paul on skype and it was all very exciting. 

I put Em on Santa's lap and she immediately started crying.  lol  Paul and I were both laughing.  So I picked Em and then poor Santa got to have my fat ass on his lap.  You can tell by his facial expression how thrilled he is by this development.

I'm pretty sure he will need to go to the chiropractor to deal with the excess weight on his right leg.  lol 

So after we say goodbye to Paul and I climb off Santa's lap so he can massage the feeling back into his leg, I'm getting ready to pay for my photos and I hear this woman complaining.  See it's only 1:50pm and she thought it was unfair that we were allowed to have our picture taken with Santa when the sign said he wouldn't be back until 2pm.  She demanded that she be allowed to have her child's picture taken.  The woman explained that it was a special circumstance because of my husband being deployed, etc. and the woman says that her husband is in Iraq and do they want to see her military id.  Well, at this point I feel awful because I was planning on waiting until 2pm to see Santa and he had us come in early.  We profusely thank Santa and the women working and head out as people start to get in line to see Santa. 

The woman who pitched such a fit didn't even bother to stay and wait the 5 minutes it was till 2pm.  She could've been first in line.  The woman working with Santa said she did not think the woman was a military spouse because she was so unsupportive of our situation and so rude and I tend to agree.  I NEVER would've acted like that!  I love my military family.  I couldn't stop thinking about how appalling her behavior was and in front of her children, too.  Where was her Christmas spirit? 

But Paul got to see his baby see Santa for the first time (and on his birthday, too) and that is all that counts.  It made my heart sing to see him so happy on skype. 

In a totally unrelated note I decided to take a bath tonight and slipped and fell in the tub putting the bath mat down.  Luckily I caught myself and sort of slid into the tub onto my back, but I am definitely sore and going to feel it tomorrow.  Thank goodness for icy hot and Motrin and for God watching over me. 

Headed out of town for Paul's family reunion tomorrow and to see some old friends.  Very excited!  Hopefully the weather is nice.  I know it'll be nicer than what my friends in New England are experiencing. 

Merry Christmas!

Slacker

I really really really gotta get on the ball.  I feel like I have zero motivation to do anything!  And there are things I want to do and then I think eh, who cares.  lol  I certainly don't want to pass my slovenly ways on to Emma.  Paul and I are the top dogs of procrastinators and what a terrible habit to have. 

First off let's talk about my weight.  I am slightly disgusted about how I keep letting opportunities to lose weight slip by and instead just keep gaining weight.  I for sure am the person who eats for taste instead of eating to be healthy.  Ugh!  And if anyone makes a comment about how I'm being too hard on myself I may have to come beat you up.  It's not about being hard on myself it's about being honest and realistic.  Sometimes the truth hurts and that is ok.  I guess I am just not ready to get healthy.  I am way addicted to sugar which is a huge part of the problem.  And I think part of my lack of motivation is knowing I'm going to get pregnant next year anyways so what is the point of losing weight now.  haha  When you are overweight going into a pregnancy you don't have to gain as much weight and your baby weight comes off very quickly (of course then you are still just overweight, but hey...thick chicks gotta get something). 

Secondly I have done super well staying away from alcohol and soda.  Granted it's not even been 2 weeks yet without alcohol, but I actually don't even miss it (although I'd love one of my hoarded Blue Moon Octoberfest beers) and it's only been 7 days without soda.  I used to never drink soda and then I went crazy.  Pepsi was probably one of the few things I craved during my pregnancy.  I know how terrible soda is for you and I really don't want to be someone who drinks soda or eats fast food (I had Taco Bell the other day and it did not agree with me so that may keep me from fast food right there).  I probably went 10 years without eating any fast food.  I was much much thinner then. 

Thirdly I think I stress eat.  For sure our time in Florida has not been the relaxing vaca I thought it would be.  We've been plagued by illness and doctors appointments and what not.  My goal is to get Em to sleep through the night 12 hours by the time Paul gets home.  I (wait for it) have finally broken down and let Em cry.  I know!  Are you gasping in shock????  I only went in 3 times last night for brief comforts and she fell asleep within 30 minutes and slept till 4:30am.  I let her cry and then went in briefly and then went back in again at 5am because she was ready to nurse and then we fell back to sleep until 8am!  I got 6 whole hours of sleep in a row!  I may have woken up briefly to look at her on the monitor but I went right back to sleep.  And she cried at naptime this morning, but then she had pooped so once I changed her she fell right to sleep (nap time hasn't really ever been our problem minus the fact that she only sleeps for 30 minutes). 

Fourth I am beyond ready for Paul to get home.  It's so close and yet seems like its taking so long.  It's that last hour of a car trip...you know how close you are and yet it's the longest part of the trip. 

I need to go to the dmv to get our tags switched to FL, and I need to do my CEU's for my FL license, and I need to start sending boxes home. 

Thursday I think I am going to take Emma to get her first picture with Santa Claus!  I'll post the pic so you can see how it goes.  All I can think about is the year my BFF Cory took her daughter and used it as her Christmas card...Santa, Abby hysterical crying, and Cory hysterical laughing...best Christmas card ever! 

Hope everyone is enjoying their December!  Much love and holiday cheer to all!

A retrospective

I know it's been awhile since I've written anything.  I'm not sure why.  I haven't been on my computer much, partially because I got an iPhone and partially because Emma requires a lot more entertaining now that she's older and partially because we have been traveling and sick and sick and traveling.  It's been never ending.  I think we've both been to the doctor more down here than in the entire time we've lived in Mass. 

And there has also been a part of me that hasn't been sure what to say about my stay in Florida so far.  For sure it has been fantastic to watch  my family and Paul's family interact with Emma and really great for her to get to spend time with other people.  On the other hand I am not sure how good the trip has been for me.  Yes, it has been a good trip, but I mean...well, I don't have much purpose here.  I had the expectation that I would get here and slip seamlessly back into my old life of seeing friends, hanging out, etc. acknowledging that I would have a tiny tag-along.  And it hasn't been like that.  I've seen friends, good friends, but I've seen most people only one time.  I didn't take into account that just as my life has changed with us moving so, too, has their lives changed.  People have busy lives, lives that make it hard to see an unemployed, on a long ass vacation momma and her baby.  People have jobs and families and commitments.  I didn't really think about all that.  I didn't think about how challenging it would be to be away from my house, MY life in Mass.  I didn't realize how much I would miss my Mass friends.  Am I happy we came?  Absolutely.  Would I do it again?  Yes, but for a much shorter period of time probably. 

And I tracked down the post I wrote BEFORE Paul left listing all my goals and gosh, I have been so unproductive.  I don't think I've met ANY of my pre-deployment goals. 

1. Get in shape and lose the baby weight! Paul and I want to do a tropical family vacation when he gets back and I want to look sexy in a bikini for once in my life. I tend to overeat when stressed or depressed and I do not want Paul to come home to a chub a lub. Although I know he’d love me either way I am tired of feeling overweight and unhealthy.

Well, I'm still overweight, still unhealthy.  I finally cancelled my monthly donation to WW.  I've actually gained weight living at my dad's (thanks wine and sugar and dessert and overeating).  Paul on the other hand has been a working out machine and is currently doing Cross Fit.  I have a gym membership (thank goodness it was free), but haven't been able to use it because Em and I have been sick for 3 weeks!  I did just decide to give up alcohol and soda for a month.  It's been over a week with no alcohol and just since Dec. 1 with no soda.  Still fat.


2. Garden, garden, garden. I learned a lot from the garden I had last summer and I’d like to make some changes in how I plant things and also enjoy my garden since last summer I was prego and had morning sickness. I also need to work on our landscaping.

Um, yeah, NOT. 

3. Organize and par down our possessions. We have so much stuff and as much as I’ve given away to Salvation Army I am sure I can get even more organized.

I did go through a ton of stuff and make donations to Big Brothers Big Sisters Foundation.  And I got organized in a lot of the rooms and closets and rearranged furniture.  So I do feel pretty good in this category. 

4. Paint our bedroom. The color is nice, but it ended up being a lot pinker than I thought it would be.

I dodged a bullet here because our insurance paid for most of the interior of our house to be painted as part of repairs from last winter's damage.  So, our room got painted, but I didn't have to do it!  Sweet!

5. Learn how to be a good mom. Take lots of pictures of Emma for Paul. Keep her safe and healthy. Make a scrapbook of her first year. Take videos.

I feel I am a pretty good mom.  I feel I can always improve something.  I did take tons of pictures, mostly on my phone.  Let's see Em has been sick and to the ER twice and feel off the bed once and almost rolled off the changing table (that was all my friend though) and....I brought her baby book with me and have done nothing with it.  Sigh...

6. Visit friends. Plan a good traveling schedule and some quality time with my closest friends. Grand Island, Huntsville, Cincinnati, Valdosta are some of the places I’d like to visit.

Well, I made it to Valdosta.  And Dallas.  I've seen some friends and feel like I am going to miss seeing a lot of people because my time is quickly approaching to head home.

7. Take Emma to see my aunt and uncle in Amelia Island. I love that place!

We made it to Amelia Island!  Of course I didn't realize Em's ear infection had not cleared up with antibiotics and she cried for 2 days so we probably won't ever be invited back, but we made it!
8. Write to Paul every day. Skype as much as possible with Paul even if I have to get up in the middle of the night to do so.

After realizing that our lives are boring and it takes a crap long time for letters to go back and forth we did not write each other, but once.  I did send Paul cards for all the important events (anniversary, birthday, holidays, etc.), but that was about it.  We have skyped about 99% of the time and that is my priority every day.  And we do talk on the phone.  Sometimes I miss him more than others so those days we might skype and then talk on the phone, too.  We are so blessed to be able to have that ability when so many others don't.

9. Enjoy spending time with my family in Florida.

I am afraid my parents are going to need counseling for depression when I take Em back to Mass.  I said something to my mom today over lunch about us leaving and she started to cry.  I feel guilty already. 

10. Go to church. Strengthen my relationship with God.

Sickness, teething, and sleepless nights have made it hard to get up and get ready on Sunday mornings (no excuse I know), but we have started getting up and watching Joel Osteen on Sundays which I actually really enjoy.  He always has a good message that I can relate to even though I cannot imagine going to a church that huge!  And he tweeted me back one day so you know I'm happy. 

So, that is where we stand.  31 days until Paul gets home.  31 days until life gets back to normal!  Not that I'm counting down or anything. 

The Top 10 Reasons Living at Home When You're 34 Rocks!

10.  There is someone to watch the baby when you need a nap.

9.  No household bills.

8.  Live in babysitters.

7.  There is always food in the fridge.

6.  You get a "bonus" when dad gets paid in cash.  Allowance?  Yes, please.

5.  Someone else cooks dinner.  And there are always appetizers on the weekends.  With wine.

4.  There's a pool and a hot tub.  It's like a resort.

3.  You only have to keep your room clean, not the whole house.

2. When you get home from running errands on Saturday your sheets have been washed and your bed made.

1.  There's an unlimited amount of wine.  And since your household members drink way more than you, you actually feel pretty good about yourself. 

Only My Dad

I sent Paul a box of dvd's for him to watch and leave in the morale building.  He got them today and called me. 

Paul--"I got the boxes you sent me."

Me--"Oh good." 

Paul--"Did you pick out the dvd's?" 

Me--"Yeah. I just got them out of my dad's movies in the living room. I tried to pick out action dvd's because I thought the guys would like them."

Paul--"Oh really.  Well, you picked out an action movie all right." 

Me--"What do you mean?"

Paul--"It's a good thing I looked through them before I put them in the morale building."

Me--"Why?"

Paul--"Ass Play 4?"

Me--"What!"

Apparently my dad stuck a pornographic film starring Jenna Jameson into my box of dvd's and I didn't see it.  We laughed so hard and then of course Paul immediately took the movie to the burn pile and destroyed it because it is against General Order 1 to have porn.

Only my dad.  Only my dad.

Retail Therapy

A conversation between Paul and I last Saturday:

Me:  I'm going to pre-order the new iPhone.

Paul:  How much is that going to cost?

Me:  Uh, I'm not sure.  I've gotta go see which one I want.

Paul:  Ya know we'd save more money if you'd stop spending it.

Me:  My husband's in Afghanistan.  I'm sad.  Buying things makes me happy.

Paul:  It's good to know that if something happened to me a new iPhone would help you get over it.

And that's how we roll in our household.

Missing

Today I miss Paul.  I miss having him with me in the car.  I miss going out to dinner with him.  I miss spending the day running errands with him and stopping for lunch.  I miss having him here to help with Emma.  I miss making each other laugh.  I miss holding hands and kissing and hugging. 

I know he will be home before I know it, but for now I miss him.  My heart aches with that missing.

6 month well baby

Em has had quite the 2 weeks at the base clinic.  I took her last week because she seemed so congested.  Of course the pedi didn't think anything was wrong with her and just told me to use the humidifier and to put her bed at a slant.  I had been using the humidifier so I stuck 2 books under the one end of the crib (I chose a woman's daily bible and the daily gratitude book) and she seems much better.  At that appointment she weighed 18lbs 9oz....a week later and my chunky monkey is up to 18lbs 14oz and is 27 inches long.  She seems soooo heavy and her thighs look like chicken wings. 

And she is funny!  We've been side nursing a lot because it's nice to lay there and relax while she nurses and I like to snuggle with her.  Funny gal rolls onto her back when she is full and has started smacking her lips.  I guess the boobie juice is lip smacking good!  It makes me laugh every time.  And Em is quite the laugher as well.  She giggles at everything and loves when mommy makes silly faces and kisses her neck and tickles her. 

She also has a mind of her own and is quite stubborn.  She had shots  yesterday and had zero interest in solid foods today so to thrwart my attempts to feed her solids she would suck in her lower lip as soon as she saw the spoon.  FYI you can't get the spin in when the lower lip is in the way.  Another mommy friend told me her son didn't eat solids for 3 days after his shots so I feel better and am just chalking it up to her being out of sorts. 

She is terrified of the vaccum cleaner and hair dryers.  I knew about the vacuum cleaner, but didn't know about the hair dryer until we went to the salon today so I could get a hair cut.  Another stylist turned on a blow dryer and Emma screamed like someone was coming after us with a chainsaw.

She can sit up now on her own. 

I am missing Paul all the time.  I love watching Em show off for him when we skype.  I realized that we are almost halfway through September and 2 weeks after that we'll hit the 6 month mark of Paul's deployment.  Okay, it won't be quite 6 months, but in my mind it is.  I finally booked our Turks & Caicos trip and I could not be more excited!  Even though it is way more money than we'd ever spend on a vacation normally it will be so worth it to have that family time together.  And it will be much fun for Paul to get to take Emma swimming.  Paul asked why I scheduled our vacation during the NFL play offs and requested to be allowed to watch football the Sunday we are there.  I said no problem, he could stay in the room, and watch football while mommy goes to the spa!  haha

Hope everyone has a good weekend! 

2 years

I've been a blog slacker.  Life has been crazy hectic lately and I've been neglectful.  Here's a quick recap:

I had an awful cold for a week.  Every day I had to remind myself it could be worse because I was exhausted and miserable.  My worst fear of Paul being gone was getting sick and yet I survived.  I give so much credit to single moms and I appreciate Paul so much more.  Life will be so much easier when he gets home. 

Em and I went to Dallas to see my friend Katie, her hubs, and 2 kiddos.  Katie and I have been friends since 7th grade!  I was super nervous about such a long flight with Em, but she was a trooper and did well.  I have realized that flying Jet Blue has ruined me for other airlines as I kept looking around for my tv and wondered why I wasn't getting any free snacks! 

It averaged 108 degrees the entire time we were there and although Katie told me before hand that it was a dry heat I quickly realized that is something people from TX tell their friends so that they'll come visit.  It was like being on the sun! 

I also got a feather in my hair and rocked some cowboy boots.  FYI cowboy boots=also hot.  Not just hot as in we looked dang good, but hot as in causing my whole body to sweat.  When Katie and I first went downstairs in our boots I believe David's response was "You guys aren't really going out like that, are you?"  And if you are a Friends fan then you've seen the episode where Monice buys the expensive boots she can wear with everything and you can well imagine how our night went. 

Em also went swimming for the first time and LOVED it!  I also got to see my old BRLS friend Christine who I hadn't seen since I was 21 (um that is 13 years)!  All in all we had a great time and I can't wait to see them again. 

at Jasper's (thanks Most Eligible Dallas)

Being in TX we missed Hurricane Irene completely although we lucked out in our area. 

Back from TX and in a mad rush to kept the house ready to be gone to FL for 3 months.  Squeezed in a Stroller Strides class and woke up sore in places I didn't know it was possible to be sore in.  College football season started and since Paul is gone I got to outfit Em in support of my team.

Go Noles!!!!!!

Today is my 2 year anniversary.  I feel very lonely tonight and am missing Paul tons.  I can't wait for him to get home.  When Em and I got home from having lunch at our friend's I found beautiful flowers waiting for me.  Even from Afghanistan Paul knows how to make me feel loved and special.  How lucky am I! 

And that's where we're at.  This week we are wrapping up life here and packing and getting ready to head first for a family vacation on Cape Cod and then heading south till Paul gets home. 

Hope everyone had a safe and happy Labor Day weekend.  :)

28 Aug-4 Sept (Paul post)

August 28


Another Sunday which mean another week down and 20ish weeks left. I made another trip to the bizarre today. I decided to pick up a few Christmas presents and fill a request for something that is Afghanistan-like. I think I may have to avoid going back, because I love to wheel and deal and it is actually in their culture to haggle. In fact it is very rude to not try to talk them down. Our house appears to have survived the hurricane with the exception of a power outage. Our friends that housesit for us definitely hold up their end of the bargain. Today was filled with recovery from my late night (it’s sad that staying up to 1230 requires a recovery day), shopping, laundry, and relaxing. I have a lot of reading to do for my course, so I’ll be forcing myself to study. I want to take my next test around September 7. Let’s hope this next week goes by as fast as this one did.

August 29

I’m starting to realize the end of each month is going to bore me to death. It’s nice to have a job where you know what you have to do each month and having a deadline of the 25th of each month to do it. The good news of that is you can work your own schedule as long as you get the job done. Of course the negative about it is that there is a natural dead space between the 25th and the 1st. It does give me time to take care of little odds and ends and to study my military course.

I finally went to the corpsman about my shoulder. It has been bothering me for about three weeks. I was trying to just rest it but that didn’t work. When I walked in the first question he asked me was “How long has it been bothering you?” My reply of three weeks got a good rolling of the eyes and being told I should have come in early. When I answered that I was scared he would tell me I couldn’t work out his reply was simply that was a possibility. After examining me it was determined that I either strained a muscle in my shoulder or tore my rotator cuff. He gave me some Motrin (like any good military doctor), an ice/heat pack, and told me to come back in a few days when the Motrin runs out. Funny thing is that the gel ice/heat pack only works if you have a refrigerator or microwave and I have neither. I was told I could still workout, but no shoulders and don’t do anything that hurts. Most of us in the military joke about always being prescribed Motrin, but for the most part the pain has gone away. That is apparently a good sign that I only strained it and the inflammation was subsiding. I’ve got my fingers crossed.

Fitness Update: I waited for a couple days before I said it out loud, but I am finally under 200 lbs. I’m 198 to be exact which means I have lost 17 pounds since I got here. I don’t think I look much different, but a couple people said I looked like I dropped a couple. I hit a plateau at 205 before I took my binge week at Bagram. After reading a couple fitness sites I found out that if you are really working out hard and stop losing that time off can help because your body can actually recover. Maybe that’s what I needed.

August 30

Nothing really to talk about today. Maybe something interesting will happen tomorrow.

August 31

Last night or early this morning I woke up to an unusual sound. It was the sound of rain. I hadn’t seen more than a faint drizzle since I have been here. Apparently it rained pretty hard last night and that was the first rain in over four months. It was such a nice feeling to walk outside and have that crisp feel in the air after a rain. It also cut the dust way down and cooled the place off. It was a nice morning and day to be outside.

I spent a lot of today getting ready for the month of September. I’ll have a pretty busy first half of the month, but if all goes well my end of the month shouldn’t be too bad. I have my audits to do and need to get ready for a visit from one of our DCMA North Afghanistan leadership later this month. Nothing too major to be ready for that visit besides making sure a room is ready for her.

As I look at my watch I see that today is August 31. I have been gone from home for exactly two months. It has been a difficult two months, but between Skype, receiving pictures and videos, and talking to Jenn it hasn’t been nearly as bad as it could be. Emma is getting so big and strong. I’ve watched her eat her first solid food. She has really started to interact with me over the computer and I think that helps me in a big way. Jenn is preparing to go to Florida and will be there the rest of the year. Although I know we have good friends and she has a great support system in Massachusetts, I think I’ll feel even more comfortable with her in Florida. Emma will get to spend all kinds of time with her three living grandparents and one of her great grandmothers. I’m sure Emma will get all kinds of spoiled while she is there. I guess I’ll have to come home and break all the bad habits she forms while she is there. I think the long visit will be good for everyone involved. Two months down and a little over four months to go.

September 1

Today was a rainy, wet, and chilly day. It’s very unusual to see mud puddles all over the ground. The ground is so dry and hard that the water doesn’t absorb into the ground. I was able to overcome the laziness that a day like this brings. I got some work done and had a pretty good workout. The tent that holds all the cardio equipment was super humid. It felt like I was running through a hot, humid Florida swamp.

Today at dinner three of us were sitting around talking about how we met our wives. Two of us are married and the third guy was curious about when we knew we were going to marry our wives. A conversation like that really makes me feel lucky to have met Jenn. I can’t think of one thing I would change about her or us. We are a perfect match. I’m lucky that we had a mutual friend that knew we would click. And click we did.

August 2 & 3

I skipped writing about August 2, because all I would have done is mentioned that it was steak and lobster for dinner which means another week is over. As for August 3, the big addition was the start of college football season. I’m not a big college football fan, because the start of their season really just means one more week until the NFL season. That being said it’s nice to have something else to help this place feel like home. Of course the time change makes it a little difficult to enjoy. Games didn’t really start until almost 9pm here. Just like with the NFL games, I’ll get to see the beginning of the early games and the end of the latest games. I’ll have to adjust my sleep schedule when certain teams (Buccaneers) and games are on TV. I know Jenn is super excited because her Seminoles are playing. She has threatened to dress my poor innocent daughter in an FSU cheerleading outfit. I hope my baby doesn’t have to suffer through that.

August 4

It’s official. I am 33% done with my deployment. Being a third done is a nice milestone. My day was productive filled with actual work along with doing laundry. I worked out as usual, but am definitely still feeling the pain in my shoulder. I go back to the doctor tomorrow, so we’ll see what he says. I’m worried the answer will be not working out which means I could lose a lot of the progress I have made since I arrived. If they think it’s a rotator cuff issue then I’ll probably get sent to someone else. I guess I should have gone to the doctor for it a few weeks ago when it happened. I’ll never learn.

Nineteen weeks until I’m home and will be with my lovely wife and beautiful daughter. To me I thought that sounded like a short time. Jenn pointed out that she was on bedrest for 20 weeks and it felt like forever. Now the race to 50%!

Jenn did dress my poor Emma in Seminole outfits for the first day of college football season. Although it sickened me a little, my little girl was as cute as she could be.

FITNESS UPDATE: I think I need to be happy with being 200lbs. As soon as I told everyone I got under 200, I went back to 202lbs. I feel good and way stronger, so I can live with that. A friend of mine asked me what my fitness goal was and it’s simply being a good example for Emma. I want her to grow up healthy and active and that won’t happen if her parents don’t show her how.

19-27 August (Paul post)

Aug 19


Today was a fun day. During breakfast I saw some highlights from the Buccaneer’s game and even though they lost (actually got stomped pretty good) it was nice to see football is really back. This should help me pass the time a little easier. I had a homework assignment for my military class, so I felt pretty productive through most of the day working on it. It’s strange when you are excited about homework. When I went to dinner they were serving steak which means its Friday! We finished another week.

As an added bonus they actually replayed the Bucs game on TV here, so even though I knew the outcome I could still see the game. I’m hoping they do replays like this during the season. I already know that on Monday mornings I’ll have to wake up at 0430 in order to watch the Sunday night game. I may not do that every week, but there will definitely be a few games watched.

All that stuff was fun but the highlight was Skyping with Emma. I know I say this each day, but today’s session was the funniest. Jenn put Emma on the ground with the computer while she went to the bathroom. I always talk to her when we do this, but she usually just plays with her toys. This time she turned and looked at me. She then scooted and rolled closer to the computer and smiled each time I said something to her. It was great to actually interact with her. Then she got even more excited and rolled out of the picture. I couldn’t see her, so I just started to say her name. All of a sudden the video started to shake really bad. Emma had rolled to the side of the computer and was shaking and banging on it in response to me talking. When Jenn came back she just started to laugh at the whole scene. I finished off by watching her eat some cereal. She loves the stuff and tries to help Jenn feed her. We’re thinking about trying to feed her some actual baby food this weekend.

I really hope this is the start of Emma responding to my voice and seeing me on the computer. My biggest fear is that when I get home she doesn’t know who I am. It would rip my heart out if she cries when I first hold her. Jenn and I are doing everything we can to keep that from happening.

August 20

I’m not going to bore you with the details of my day because to be honest it’s starting to get VERY monotonous over here. Last night Jenn and I just sat there and stared at each other while we Skyped because we have pretty much run out of stuff to talk about. Today was a little better because, we discussed some issues with our house repairs.

One thing I have learned is when you call a company and say “I’m calling you from the middle of Afghanistan” they have a tendency to actually listen to you. We have been trying to get our house repaired from ice damage last winter. It is almost winter time again (a fact I explained to the contractor). The only thing they have left to do is fix the insulation in the attic. Since they were already repairing the stuff that got damaged, I asked them to let us know how much more to get the whole attic reinsulated. Let’s just say the price they gave us did not take in account the six months that they have been working on our house. After calling them from Afghanistan they will be giving us a new estimate.

Another interesting thing I have learned about deployed people is that many find ways to keep themselves busy. Every night I am serenaded by a violinist outside my door. There is a porch and he practices every night. It is actually pretty relaxing most nights. I asked him how long he had been playing and he told me he has taught himself how to play during this deployment. I always wondered why there was a laptop in front of him while he plays. Apparently the laptop is usually showing videos of how to play the violin. I was impressed because he sounds like he has been at it for years. I’m not sure there is anything that I am really interested in learning over here, so I’ll concentrate on knocking out my military education course. It’s not fun, but I might as well suck it up while I’m here.

August 21

The other day there was a bunch of emails sent out asking for people to donate blood. This happens every once in a while, but there were a few more emails than normal. It took a few days but I finally got the story of what happened.

An Army soldier apparently got into a fire fight with the enemy. He was lying in the prone position, which means on his stomach with his elbows on the ground and shooting. He got shot. The bullet entered near his armpit and went diagonal through his body and lodged in his hip on the other side. He was tore up pretty bad. When he arrived to the trauma unit he had 2.5 pints of blood in his stomach. If you didn’t know, there are only about 5 pints in the entire human body.

I didn’t hear about the need for blood until the situation was already taken care of. They got so many volunteers that they turned people away. I’ve given blood before, but every time I have done it it’s been to add supply through the Red Cross. This situation would have been and felt different. Imagine being in a room and giving blood knowing that it isn’t going to be put in some refrigerator to be used later, but instead it is going to be taken into the next room and pumped straight into a guy from the field. I can’t image that there is another experience that would feel as rewarding as that. Needless to say I will be paying attention to my email and listening for the announcement in case they ever need more.

And since I’m sure you are curious, last update I heard is that the guy is still alive and was sent to a bigger base to be treated. It’s pretty amazing that he survived at all, so keep those prayers coming his way.

On a much happier note, I got to see Emma eat some sweet potatoes today! She seemed a little taken back by it at first, but before long she was grabbing the spoon and trying to shove them in her mouth. I’m not sure if she looks like me or not, but she has my appetite.

I spent some time at the local bizarre today. A few times a week they allow some locals to come on base and sell goods to the Polish and American people. Most of the shops have similar items like trinkets, scarves, knives, rugs, dishes, etc. A lot of the stuff looks really old, but you have to be careful because a lot of the “old” stuff is fake. My coworker bought a metal bird that he is convinced is hundreds of years old and worth a ton of money. He has researched it on the internet and everything. I bought some old Afghan money and a present for Jenn. I can’t say what because she’ll read this before she receives it. The highlight of the trip was meeting the smallest man in Afghanistan and maybe the world depending on who you talk to. He stood next to me for a picture and he’s about 3 inches shorter than my hip. He was a great salesman and really good sport. He charges $5 to take a picture with you. I think he makes way more taking pictures than actually selling stuff.

August 22

I left my nice quiet home of FOB Ghazni today for the metropolis that is Bagram Air Field or BAF as we like to call it. There are a lot of things to complain about when it comes to Ghazni, but one thing I notice today is that I actually really like it. People have been asking me questions about it all day and one really got my attention. Someone asked me if I would rather be at FOB Ghazni or at BAF. The answer was FOB Ghazni hands down.

I came to BAF so I could take my first test for my military course tomorrow. If my plan works as I hope, then I will be making a monthly trip to BAF to take a test. That would mean I would have 5 of 7 completed by the time I headed home. That would be a huge accomplishment and limit how much time I have to use back home to finish the course. I think five tests before I leave is doable, but I could easily hit some hiccups on the way. The most important thing is that my bosses think it’s a good plan.

This plan gives me almost the perfect situation. I get to enjoy the quiet life of FOB Ghazni and my other FOBs, but a monthly trip to BAF means I don’t have to worry about a lack of BX/PX and I can splurge on Pizza Hut each time I pass a test. That gives me just enough of the “big city” life to survive.

One piece of bad news came up today. At FOB Ghazni, we have two guys that work in the helicopter terminal. It may not seem like it, because I have a lot of flights fall through but these guys take care of me really good. I figured I would ask them if they needed me to bring anything back from BAF. One guy wants plain Ruffle potato chips. Apparently someone gave him some French onion dip, but no chips. That’s an easy hook up to keep him on my side. The other guy said he didn’t need anything because he was moving to BAF for the rest of his deployment. His reason why? He got busted drinking. It is a 100% clear order that there is no drinking while deployed. He hung out with some of the Polish troops and drank a bunch of their homemade wine. For that he is getting sent to BAF and will probably end his military career at the end of this deployment. He was planning to get out anyways, but now it may not be on his terms. This just makes me shake my head. If you can’t go a 6, 9, or 12 month deployment without alcohol than you have an issue. He mentioned to me that they advised him to get some character letters. In other words he is trying to collect letters from people in leadership (he’s in the Army so a Captain is considered leadership) to help his case. I told him thanks for all his help and I enjoyed meeting and working with him, but I would not write him a letter. Since I only knew his reputation at work and this happened during his off time I felt like I couldn’t give a valid comment. But most of all, getting in any kind of trouble because of drinking is 100% preventable. I can’t help someone that willingly made a stupid and wrong decision.

August 23

My day at Bagram has been pretty eventful. I started off the morning with a run outside. To most this may not be a big deal, but it is impossible for me to run outside at FOB Ghazni. We don’t have any pavement or sidewalks. The whole FOB is covered by gravel which is mostly about golf ball size. It really isn’t safe for anyone to run on that stuff, but especially not someone with a history of ankle problems.

I followed up my workout by taking my test. This was the first test for this course, so I wasn’t really sure how the questions and the format of the test were going to be. It was 50 questions and I had to get a 70% to pass. I don’t want to brag, but I have always been a great test taker especially multiple choice. With that being said, I have never felt so unsure while taking a test. I could narrow every answer down to two, but was rarely 100% sure of which answer to choose. I was very nervous as I hit submit to get my score. Amazingly I got a 90%, so let the celebration begin!

At lunch I had ice cream. It was cookies and cream with some chocolate sauce. It may have been the best ice cream ever. Then I did some shopping for stuff to take back to Ghazni for me and others. While there I couldn’t pass up cold M&Ms from the refrigerator. They were fabulous. I came back to my room for a little reading and a nap. When I woke up it was time for my real reward. I went and had a personal size Pizza Hut pizza. It was a Meat Lovers and it exceeded expectations. It was washed down with an ice cold Coke. I was motivated to start studying for the next test just so I could have that meal again.

As I walked back to my room I stopped to check on a potential flight back home. I found out there is next to zero chance I will ever be able to go directly from Bagram to Ghazni. I’ll have to stop over night at another FOB. I’m ok with that, but to find out my show time to try to get on a flight is 2:30 in the morning. This is going to suck. I had a chance to chat on the phone with Jenn, but there isn’t any where for me to really Skype while at Bagram. Getting to Skype with them will be reward enough to show up for a flight at 2:30am. I’m going to try to get a little sleep and also recover from a crazy upset stomach which was obviously caused by my overload on sweets. Hopefully if my plan works out I’ll get to do it all again next month!

August 24

My day started off super early. My show time for my flight was 2:30am, but at least I got on the plane so it was worth it. I landed on FOB Sharana and headed over to the helicopter terminal. I thought I got lucky because there were two flights to Ghazni, but sadly there were only a couple extra seats and ten people ahead of me on the list.

Since I wasn’t getting out today, I got a room set up and just wanted to sleep. Lucky for me they were doing construction right outside the door so no sleep for the weary. And since I was so exhausted I couldn’t even hit the gym. There aren’t any flights to Ghazni tomorrow, so hopefully I make it out on Friday. I’ll get some good sleep tonight and do a really good, long workout tomorrow. I have to start working off all the junk I ate in celebration at Bagram.

Due to Jenn traveling to Texas today and the time difference, we couldn’t Skype today. And since this FOB doesn’t have phones in the rooms, we couldn’t talk on the phone. Today is the first day since I left home that we didn’t Skype or talk on the phone. Even though that makes me sad I can’t think about anything besides how lucky I am that we can talk as much as we do. We traded a few emails and we’ll talk tomorrow.

August 25

Not much to report today. Jenn made it safely to Texas and Emma was an angel on the plane as usual. I did a lot of sleeping and napping today to recover from my marathon day yesterday. This may be the shortest entry I ever do. Good night.

August 26

Today was another day of traveling. I made it back to good old FOB Ghazni. It is nice to be back. Another week has gone by and I’m down to about 20ish left before I’m home. The FOB had a talent show tonight which was an interesting change of pace. Only three people decided to perform and all of them played the guitar and sang. Sadly, I tried to think of what I would do if I was to perform and I don’t think I have a single talent that is stage worthy.

On a happy note, today is Emma’s six month birthday. I can’t believe it has already been six months since she was born. That day will always be one of the happiest of my life. I have never been so consumed by pure, raw emotion like I was that day. I’m sure every parent feels the same way. The first time I saw her and heard her cry brought a wave of love that before then was unimaginable. To see how much she has already grown and changed brings tears of joy and sadness to my eyes. I love to see her strong and healthy. She is learning so much and seems so interested in the world. The years of joy that our lives will have because of that little girl will be priceless. The sadness is due to some selfishness. I hate that I’m missing these months. I’m jealous of every person that gets to hold, hug, and play with her while I’m gone. But Jenn brought up a point that made me so happy. When I get back she’ll be getting to that age where she can be my little buddy. I see many trips to Home Depot and all kinds of other places with just the two of us. I can’t wait!

August 27

Today was the big day. We had our Fantasy Football Draft for my league back home. I Skyped into it, so it was nice to actually talk with some of my friends. Although the draft took longer than expected, it is after midnight, it was a good time. In honor of the tradition of eating and drinking crap while doing the draft I had a couple chocolate chip cookies and a Coke. Although both were good, I am kind of feeling like a sugar overdose. I’m very committed to fantasy football which is demonstrated by the two water bottles I filled because I couldn’t bear to leave and miss any of it. I’ll have to poor those out later. There were also about three explosions outside during the draft, but I stayed strong. It’s a late night so I’ll be heading to bed. I’m going to head back down to the bizarre tomorrow to try to get a few more things to send home. It’s my new Sunday tradition.

11-18 August (a Paul post)

August 11


Earlier this week a Chinook helicopter was shot down in Afghanistan. Thirty Americans lost their lives along with some Afghan commandoes. This was a sad event for our nation. I believe this moment touched a little closer to my wife’s heart because of how often I fly here. One thing that has helped relieve her and my fears is that I never take a Chinook. I have flown in a Blackhawk which is fast and has gunners on both sides for protection. But mostly I take a helicopter called a Presidential. I’m not sure why it is called that name. These helicopters are unarmed and mostly flown by civilians. Although not nearly as quick as a Blackhawk they are pretty maneuverable especially when compared to the Chinook. Those things are slow and mainly created to carry heavy cargo and lots of people. Although it would complete my tri-fecta of helicopters here, there is little chance that I’ll be on one.

Until today! I was supposed to board a Presidential as always. Then all those flights got delayed because someone loaded the wrong fuel in either the choppers or the tank they get fuel from. It grounded the whole fleet. There were a few of us trying to get to FOB Ghazni, so the people at the counter started looking for alternatives. They were able to acquire a Blackhawk. They went down the list and called off seven names. Although those seven were happy there was a pretty good size group of us that weren’t. Then someone had the idea of trying to get the Chinook to take us. Some strings were pulled and sweet talking done (none by me) and off our group of 15 were headed to the big helicopter. If you have never seen one of these they have two propellers on top and a drop down door in the back. It has two gunners also to provide some protection. We loaded up and after some time we started to get into the air.

Once airborne I learned something really quick. This thing is slow. We got high into the sky and the gunners were on full alert. I turned to look out the window and wondered what on earth are the gunners looking at? Imagine you are flying in an airplane. You are responsible for looking out the window for a bad guy pointing something at you. I wouldn’t be able to point the bad guy out. It would be worse than a “Where’s Waldo?” book. So we moseyed through the country side on our way to Ghazni. We only went past a few mountains and I definitely felt an eerie feeling knowing what had happened a few days earlier. I was comforted by the experts that said even though a Chinook is slow it was still a very lucky shot for the bad guys to hit it. I’m not going to say I was at peace during the flight, but I wasn’t worried either.

When we landed there was a large group surrounding the flight line with many taking pictures. FOB Ghazni doesn’t get a Chinook very often so I guess we were kind of celebrities for a few minutes. Like I have said before, it’s amazing how the little things excite you over here.

August 12

We are getting ready for a bi-monthly review over here. Our three person team has been gathering information, building a presentation, and doing a dry run to make sure we have everything ready. One of our guys is really responsible for this thing and it’s truly his moment to shine. Needless to say he is taking this very seriously. The other guy is a somewhat control freak, but he is getting our part together and doing a great job. Since I just landed I’m more of a reviewer and learning what’s going on so I can take care of the one in October. Stress seems high for two thirds of our team about this thing. Obviously I’m the third that isn’t stressed. As I told them before I have had to brief a 3-star general on who to award a $1billion contract to. This is important, but not nearly as stressful as that.

After a dry run and making some corrections I think we are ready to go. I only had to break up one shouting match between the other guys. Apparently one of them said something that made the other mad, so they argued. Both then looked at me to be the referee and I just looked at them and said “drop it so we can finish because this fat kid needs to get to lunch.” I’m just not one for being involved in some petty “he hurt my feelings” discussion.

So the day finished with the gym, Skyping, and reading “The Challenges of Leadership and Command” for my Professional Military Education (PME) test that I have to take in 10 days. I’m not much of a reader, but I have about 250 more pages. My reward for finishing and passing will be some Pizza Hut pizza and getting to start the next book of studies. Obviously no Pizza Hut on Ghazni, so I’ll have to make a trip to Bagram. After spending time at Ghazni, Bagram will look like New York City.

August 13

I went to sleep and was awoken by the sound of several helicopters outside. I have no idea what they are doing, why there are so many, and what is taking them so long to leave. The good news about this is that it reminded me that I needed to do my entry for today.

Today was a pretty normal day. Nothing too exciting happened which is probably why I almost forgot to do today’s entry. I did my normal workout and did some reading for my test next week. I tried to catch up on the Buccaneer’s preseason game. I did a little work. I Skyped with Jenn and Emma. So it was pretty much a basic day in the life of Paul in Ghazni.

The highlight of the day was attending a going away for the Army Sergeant Major that works along with us. He is an older gentleman about 60 years old. That may not be old in the civilian world but in the military that’s getting up there. This is his last deployment and he’ll retire about six months after he gets home. I jokingly asked him if he was going to miss deploying and he quickly answered “yes.” I have to be honest that I was taken back by that. What is there to miss? After putting some thought into it, I can understand. There is a certain level of purpose that we all feel here that is different, not necessarily greater, than what we feel working back home. The military has a lot of bureaucracy which probably doesn’t surprise anyone because it is a government entity. When you are deployed especially at a small FOB, the main goal of everyone is the mission. Get the mission done no matter how long it takes. It’s all about making sure your job is done. You don’t have people watching over your every move because everyone here has a job. It’s a nice feeling not to feel like the political games are happening around you. People always wonder how to increase the efficiency of the military back home. It’s simple, act like you are deployed. If you don’t need that person, position, review, briefing, etc when you are deployed then you don’t need it there either!

Well, the helicopters have finally left. It’s quiet and my CHU is no longer vibrating. I guess it is time to sleep. Tomorrow is Sunday which means laundry day and some relaxing (I know I do that most days).

August 14

Wow it is Sunday already. I can’t believe this week is already over. Since it was Sunday I had a relaxing day (like most aren’t). I knocked out some laundry, worked out, and just sat around watching some TV shows. Just like being at home.

A friend of mine sent me an Excel spreadsheet titled “Donut of Misery.” You enter in the day you left home and the day you should be back. It will then calculate exactly how long you have been gone and how long until you get home. It shows you the time in years, months, days, hours, minutes, and seconds. The reason for the donut portion of the title is that it has a round circle similar to a donut that fills in as your days tick by. As of today I am 22% done with my deployment. I don’t think I’ll check this daily, but it will help keep it in perspective. I guess I should do some work tomorrow since its Monday.

August 15

There are certain difficulties that everyone expects when they deploy. People know they are going to miss their families, miss their beds, good food, going on vacations, and many other things. One of the interesting things about deploying are dealing with the things you never thought of. For me the two biggest have been boredom and the limited people to interact with. The team I work on is three people. One of the guys is nice but antisocial. So that leaves my one coworker that I socialize with most of the time. He’s a nice guy, but we don’t have a ton in common. It took us a month and a half, but I think we have done all the small talk we can do. It’s gotten to where stories are being repeated and the same discussions are being done again. We’re on a small FOB with only so much to do each month and we do the same things month after month. So there isn’t much hope for new conversations. Maybe we’ll be saved by football season when I comes around.

August 16

Facebook is an amazing thing. We all know how it has changed the way people connect. We also (at least those with a Facebook) know that it connects us to people we would have never spoken to again. But you get a whole additional perspective of Facebook when you are deployed. I have so many people such as friends, family, and acquaintances that like to know if I’m doing ok and for that I am blessed. I think back to the old days (preFacebook) and think how many letters, precious phonecalls, and news spreading it would have taken to quell everyone’s curiosity. With Facebook all it takes is a quick status update or comment on someone’s wall and everyone knows I’m ok.

On most of these FOBs there is an internet café for people to use. For example the FOB Ghazni café probably has about 20 computers on the American side and another batch on the Polish side. I’ve sat there waiting for a computer and noticed that at any one time there can be 18 or 19 computers on Facebook. It’s the first and many times only site that people go to when they sit down. Even on the Polish side most are on Facebook.

When I first got a Facebook account I was working on a college campus. It was the easiest way to get a hold of my cadets. Very few of my friends and none of my family had an account. Heck most of the “social networkers” were on Myspace…haha That was about five years ago. Now it is strange for someone NOT to have an account. I wonder what will be the hot thing five years from now.

POINT TO PONDER: Today is the 9th anniversary of me being commissioned as an officer in the Air Force. I’ve been in the Air Force more than 13 years, but on this day in 2002 I switched to the dark side. Although I may have changed a couple things if I could go back, going to Officer Training School (OTS) was definitely one of the smartest decisions of my life. That being said, I do miss enlisted life because it was a whole lot more fun!

August 17

I completed a couple audits today, so officially my work for the month is done. Even though it creates a lot of downtime, I like that I know on the first of the month everything I need to get done. I can choose to relax and do a little here and there or I can go all out and finish early giving me days of nothing to do. This will pay great dividends when it comes to getting my professional military education course done.

I definitely did something to my left shoulder when I was working out a couple weeks ago. It only hurts when I lift weights or try to turn on the light switch. There is a sick-call clinic here that I need to go to and get checked out. I’m lucky that if it is something bad there is an orthopedic surgeon at the trauma unit, but hopefully I don’t need that. I’m sure the diagnosis will be taking some Motrin and rest it. I don’t want this to get in the way of my workout progress, but I’m sure it is only a minor setback.

Tonight at dinner there wasn’t any water to drink, all the milk was gone, and the Gatorade had been used up. The only thing left was soda. So for the first time in a month and a half I had a Mountain Dew. This is the drink I routinely called the nectar of gods. I haven’t really missed soda since I have been here. I had a few times that I looked and thought about getting one but resisted the few temptations. So now I didn’t have a choice. So I got one and to be honest it just wasn’t that good. In fact I could only drink about half of it before I started feeling a little sick to my stomach. We’ll have to see if I feel this way once I get back home.

UPDATE: I’m having some problems getting to sleep tonight. I’m not really sure why. A lot of the time I’m just thinking about Emma and how much she is growing. She is starting to get a personality. She and Jenn will lie on the floor when we Skype and she’ll just stare into the computer at me. And when Jenn talks she turns to look at her in the cutest way. She’ll role around smiling and laughing. She loves to grab her toys and sling them around and bang on stuff including the computer if it is close enough. Her newest thing is taking her pacifier out and putting it back in her mouth the right way. When you are a new parent these small things seem like such a huge deal. I’m very lucky to be able to see Emma on Skype just about every day and see her growing. It’s just amazing how much I miss hugging her especially now that she is actually starting to hug back. When I get home I’m going to hug her so hard, but I’ll try not to break her in half.

August 18

According to my “Donut of Misery” spreadsheet, I am 24% done with my deployment. I have been good and have written every day, but I’m starting to feel my days are very monotonous. There is no way I’ll be able to keep these posts interesting for approximately 150 more days. I will do my best to try…haha

Jenn called me this morning (it was about 1am her time) because Emma had a fever and wasn’t feeling good. It saddens me to know my baby was hurting and I couldn’t do anything about it, but it helps a lot to know Jenn is a great mom. By the time we Skyped this evening Emma was back to herself laughing and rolling around.

Today was filled with procrastinating on a homework assignment and binge eating. I have been so good watching what I eat, but today I fell completely off the wagon. I couldn’t get full and finally broke into the snacks that Jenn sent me. I offset some of it by playing basketball, but due to a meeting I had to attend at my regular gym time I was easily in the red when it came to calories for today. Well, I’ll have to get back to the routine tomorrow.

As I write this I am about to go to bed and there are explosions happening. I’m not really sure if they are incoming or outgoing. I didn’t hear an announcement to warn of outgoing shots. I’m listening for people heading to the bunkers and there isn’t any noise from outside. I guess I’ll do what any normal person would do in this situation. I’ll turn off my light and go to bed.