14-19 July

July 14


So my morning started off with some excitement. At 0400 I was awoken by a big boom that shook my CHU. I was still half asleep when the second boom happened. I rolled off the bed and put my body armor and helmet on and tried to crawl under the bed. Let’s not forget I way over 200lbs, so basically I could get about one shoulder under the bed. I laid there, face down for what felt like an eternity. And of course I needed to pee. Not oh wow I need to pee, but OH MY GOOD I’M ABOUT TO PEE MYSELF (keep in mind I drink about 12-13 bottles of water a day here). I held it while there were about two more booms. I couldn’t go outside to the bathroom, but I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had to resort to peeing in a water bottle while my CHU was shaking from explosions. I’m not sure if you have tried to pee in a water bottle while wearing body armor that includes a groin guard, but it’s far from easy. After lying there for a little longer I heard voices outside. I used my vast military training to low crawl to my CHU door to see what they were saying. As I made it over there I figured out there were two guys just sitting on the porch outside shooting the crap. I then realized all the “explosions” were the Polish shooting practice shots. I was in full “survive a massive attack” mode and everyone else was just relaxing and sleeping! I peed in a water bottle for nothing. Well, in the big scheme of things I would rather it be us shooting than them.

I got a pleasant surprise today when I ran into a couple Air Force people. I had seen one or two walking around or in the chow hall, but I thought we were few and far between. After meeting these two, I found out that the entire surgical clinic is run by Air Force. There are about 20 of them. They told me to stop by sometime because they have a pretty good spread. And I thought I was going to be spending 6 months with only American and Polish army people.

On another note, I was on my own today. I did an audit and it was pretty easy. I finished fairly quick and was able to relax and watch a couple movies. I fly out tomorrow at 0600 to a different FOB to check them out. This should be a pretty interesting time. I have no idea if I’ll have internet or phone, but hopefully I can talk to Jenn. This will also test my commitment to working out, but I will not let the streak die again.

July 15

Well I got up and went to the terminal at 0600 for my 0700 flight. After waiting around for four hours they finally cancelled all the flights. I thought Delta was bad, but at least when they delay you they give you some timeframe even if they change it multiple times. We all had to just sit there and wait because “at any minute the helicopter could show up.” It didn’t. So now that I missed my reserved flight I have to try and fly standby to get there. Hopefully I get there tomorrow. I left some slack in my schedule hoping to get back from the FOB early, but now I guess my goal is to get back on the day planned.

Some good news is that I’m starting to get more comfortable and knowledgeable about this place. I was awoken again this morning at 0400 by explosions, but figured out very quickly that it was the Polish doing practice shots. So no body armor or peeing in a bottle was necessary.

This evening our FOB started to do a morale night on Fridays. A few of us got together and played spades, while others played some video games. I haven’t played spades in forever so it’s no surprise that I made some mistakes and we got whooped pretty good. It’s a nice change of pace and a chance to meet people that you wouldn’t normally talk to. It’ll probably be something to look forward to each week, so it should help time go by a little faster. And since I got word that there are no flights tomorrow, I stayed out a little later since I can sleep in. My body has started to get used to my 0515 wake up, so I wonder if I’ll be able to sleep in. I’m willing to try.

July 16

I slept in this morning since I have zero to really do today. It’s amazing when you have trained your body to believe that sleeping all the way until 0730 is a big deal. I know my wife right now would kill to sleep until 0730 because Emma has decided that sleeping through the night was fun for a little bit, but not anymore. So since I’m most likely not going to have any cool or interesting things today to talk about I should do my two week wrap up.

It’s been two weeks since I have been gone. Needless to say this has been an emotional journey already. I’ve never been accused of being openly sensitive or emotional. I think anyone who has read my first few posts can assume that has changed a little. I look back at some of it and wonder “did I really write that for the world to see?” Well, the answer is no. I wrote it for Jenn and Emma to see, but since my ramblings seem to be somewhat entertaining to the masses I decided to let everyone behind the curtain. Jenn and I made an agreement to try and write about what was going on each day I was gone. The idea is to include all of it in some form of a book to be given to Emma later on. I figured Jenn would have all the cool stories and mine would be filled with monotonous updates like “see yesterday’s post.” I’m sure I’ll get there soon, but something changed when I sat in the airport before I left (actually about an hour before I left home). From an early time in my life I have tried to keep a lid on my emotions. Those that know me and my past can probably understand or at a minimum aren’t surprised by that admission. But the thing that changed is a realization that being more free with that stuff will help me be a better husband and father.

I knew when I left I would miss my honey and baby girl. I knew I would miss them more than anything in the world. Well, I NEVER thought I could miss them as much as I really do. But to be honest it feels good. There are a lot of people in this world that don’t have such a strong loving connection with someone else… or two someone elses. It was a long and winding path that brought me and Jenn together, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Part of me would love to have met her earlier in life, but it would have never worked. Jenn and I fit so perfectly together because of how our past shaped us. And of course Emma is the perfect baby for us. If we would have met earlier, fell in love and got married we wouldn’t have had Emma. We may have had a baby and Jenn always wanted a daughter named Emma, but we wouldn’t have had this Emma. I know I wouldn’t have wanted her any other way.

I’m starting to look at this time away as less of a deployment and more of a sabbatical. I like to think of it as an emotional cleanse. Of course I would rather not be away from my wife and daughter, but while I am I think I should take this time to do some serious inner searching and realization. My hope is doing this now will help ensure things from the past will never interfere with the happiness of the present and future. I’ll be honest, I’m not planning to share all the deep thoughts of my mind during this time, because truthfully no one would want to know everything that makes this brain tick. But I figured I should give you all a warning if some more of that emotional crap comes out.

Now with all that previous stuff being said, I do plan to try and share some of the funnier side of my adventure. As I said in yesterday’s post, last night the FOB had its first Morale Night (at least that I know of and everyone else is saying it’s new). A guy I know that is visiting this FOB and I decided to try our hands at playing Spades. He is apparently great and I am pretty good, but very very rusty! We sat down and played against two guys that seem to be really good (and a little sneaky too). The first game we played we got crushed. And to be honest it was mostly because of me. I made a couple boneheaded plays, but I can brush it off. The second game we were kicking their butts all over the table. I don’t know how many of you play Spades, but we were up almost 300 to 0… yes I said zero. They then decided to do something called “blind 6” which apparently if you get lucky and pull this off it’s a crap load of points. Spades has so many different ways to play and everyone seems to have their way.

Well, they came back and beat us. It was a crushing defeat, but the only saving grace is that neither of us really talked any trash. No one was really paying attention to the game, so I chalked it up to a learning experience. Well, I thought no one was paying attention. This morning in the bathroom after I finished brushing my teeth a guy walked by. I said “good morning” and he said “wow, I can’t believe you lost that second game like that!” I guess my reputation precedes me.

Update: Just when I thought nothing interesting would happen today, something does. As I was at the terminal to see if I could fly out tomorrow (which I can’t) a helicopter with a red cross landed. I saw the ambulance come around the corner and knew what I was about to see. They pulled a wounded person out of the helicopter, put him in the ambulance, and took him to the trauma unit. No one could tell if it was an American, Polish, local, man, woman, young, or old. But does it really matter? Sure it may stab me in the heart a little more if it was an American because I would have more of a connection, but in the scheme of things my connection to that person is insignificant. I don’t know how serious the injury is, but there is a person out there that may or may not know their loved one is hurt. A father or mother, daughter or son, wife or husband, or just good friend may get some awful news soon. Or will they get wonderful news? If you find out a loved one had been injured in a war even if the injury is serious, is that good news or bad? Injuries are awful but it could be worse…much worse.

July 17

Well, I knew it was going to happen at some point. There just wasn’t anything interesting to write about today. I sat around my CHU and watched some TV shows and the movie Tombstone that a guy had let me pull off his hard drive. By far the biggest challenge of this deployment will be dealing with days like this. A feeling of unproductively that just makes the day drag on. Tonight I went to the terminal and there are no flights for me to take tomorrow either. Tomorrow will probably be another day of the same.

One highlight is that I got to Skype with Jenn and Emma. I don’t think Emma exactly understands the fact that her Daddy is on the computer screen, but I do see her respond to my voice. I enjoy when Jenn puts Emma on the floor with the webcam on her and walks away to do something. I could just watch Emma play with her feet for hours. I guess I don’t have much really to complain about, because nobody has ever truly died or been injured from boredom.

July 18

I finally found an advantage to the 8.5 hour time difference. When I went to breakfast this morning the Tampa Rays vs Boston Red Sox game was playing. It was the 11th inning of a scoreless game. While it was after midnight at the game I could enjoy it while eating my eggs and sausage. I stayed in the chow hall as long as I could, but had to leave when it was the 14th inning and still scoreless. I figured once all the chairs in the entire chow hall were stacked except mine, it was time to go. I think one of my projects for today will be to buy a cable adapter for my computer. I think there are about 4-5 channels I can get.

My day was filled with worrying about getting my cable set up and motivating myself to workout. I had my usual and wonderful conversation with Jenn about her day and what she had planned. My day was going to end as others to be forgotten as one of many.

That all changed as I was returning from the restroom for my last trip before bed. FOB Ghazni is very dark at night. So dark that as you are walking you can easily run into someone without knowing they are there. Most of us use red or blue flashlights because the light doesn’t travel as far and you don’t want to stand out from a distance. As I was walking back from the restroom I saw a pickup truck right near my CHU about to head out to the helipad. The brake lights were the only illumination. Those lights were just bright enough to see the six people lined up behind it. They were pallbearers for the casket that was in the back of the truck. The journey home had begun for this person. It was sad to see that truck pull away with the coffin in the back. The event was only made sadder when the next one pulled around the corner and was followed by a third. The three vehicles were followed by a crowd of about 40 soldiers. I couldn’t tell if they were Polish or American soldiers. In the darkness I could hear a small service being held for the three service members before they loaded them onto the helicopter. Like most people I have seen coffins draped in flags, but nothing hits you like seeing a coffin reflecting brake lights in the Afghanistan darkness.

July 19

First thing I experience this morning was an email from a person I hadn’t talk to in years. She was responding to an email that I apparently sent to everyone in my address book. I guess that will teach me not to log into my Yahoo account from the morale building. Who would have thought that an Afghanistan open computer network wouldn’t be safe…haha So if you received that spam email, I’m sorry.

Jenn has always laughed at me when I say someone looks like someone else. She’ll look at them and then look at me like I’m crazy. I noticed that I am starting to see a lot of people around the FOB that remind me of people back home. I think it is a coping mechanism to make you feel more comfortable. Today I saw a guy that looked so much like a former cadet I had to walk up to him and ask where he was from. I saw a woman that looked like someone I was stationed with. At the gym there was a girl that looked like our friend Chelsea. The guy I work with looks like I combined three of my friends into one person. Maybe it’s a search for familiarity in a strange place.

It’s funny that I write all this stuff like I’m the first one that has ever deployed. I’ve got a ton of friends who have already been over here, so I guess my experience is nothing new. I have been watching a miniseries called “The Pacific.” It was a HBO miniseries similar to Band of Brothers, but depicts Marines going against the Japanese in WWII. One thing is for certain, I feel very lucky to be where I am now when compared to what those guys experienced. I may see a wounded person or coffin every once in a while, but these guys stormed a beach knowing many if not most would never come home. I complain about my Skype being slow or Facebook being blocked in my room. Watching that show puts a lot in perspective. It’s nice knowing that even though I need to be careful and watch out, the odds are extremely in my favor to come home safe and sound. People in previous wars didn’t have that confidence to keep them going day after day. So I’ll go to sleep on my crappy mattress and appreciate that it isn’t a hole in the ground with Japanese gunfire over my head.