More hotness to come

Paul: "So it is possible for you to get hotter?"

I've been reading Lucie's List: a survival guide for new mom's online (http://www.lucieslist.com) over yesterday and today and have really enjoyed her advice on everything from car seats/strollers (we purchased our Britax Chaperone in cowmooflage on sale at diapers.com last night) to bathing your infant to (and this is my personal favorite) what happens after you give birth.

Her real take on the birth giving has led me to a conclusion I've already shared with Paul...I am staying in the hospital with the baby as long as Tricare will pay for it. Paul, in fact, may have to come stay with me the first night (anyone want to come watch our dogs?). And I ain't too proud to beg for drugs if I'm in pain.

Also, too, giving birth sounds terrifying. I mean for sure I used to work at a school for pregnant teens and I'm a social worker. I also was my friend's birthing coach so I have that first hand experience. I feel that I was pretty well educated for a non-medical person in terms of what happens during the birthing process.

But seeing it written in black and white by someone who isn't pulling any punches...I think Emma will just have to stay inside forever! I mean the tearing and placenta and what not (I do watch A Baby Story on TLC) I kinda figured...And now to find out I have to look forward to hemorrhoids (I've been blessed so far), constipation, and incontinence (ok, that last one may not be that different from my life now)...

Plus she talks about the necessity of having a loved one come help you during the first week because you'll be all crazy and tired and have no clue what you're doing...um, who the heck is gonna come to MA in February to help that A) crazy, emotional me would be able to tolerate and not murder (short list indeed) and B) it's MA in February--who the heck wants to come to MA in February? I'll tell you what my sister and BFF better be saving up their pennies to fly out after Miss Emma makes her arrival. Karin, I expect you to be in the delivery room with me. Consider yourself warned. (added bonus Karin is a nurse so she can deal with all the gross things that are coming out of my body that will make me throw up--yes, I am so easily grossed out that my own bodily functions sometimes disgust me).

But when I told Paul that Lucie recommended wearing Depends for the first two weeks after birth...well, you saw his response at the beginning of this blog. In truth, Emma may be our only child because Paul (God love him) may never want to have sex with me again (you don't even want to know how many times I've thrown up on myself and/or peed on myself and the floor, usually as a result of the throwing up, during this pregnancy). The Depends for sure will be the icing on the already hot mess of a cake that is pregnant me. Paul is a lucky, lucky man.