I've noticed that how people respond to situations in life often seems to come down to attitude and faith. Attitude being that the naturally optimistic people go through a traumatic or negative experience, but take it for what it's worth. They don't personalize the experiences of strangers (like seeing a car accident on the interstate), but they show the appropriate amount of empathy and move on. In their own lives they rely on faith...faith in God, faith in family, and faith in themselves to carry them through whatever is going on. Somehow the belief that everything will be okay makes everything okay. I think prayer and gratitude is an integral part of this. I try to find gratitude daily. I'm not saying that I don't have my down moments, but overall I consider myself a generally optimistic and happy person. The best compliments I receive are when someone remarks on what a great attitude I have!
On the other hand you have the people who respond very personally to other people's tragedies. Seeing that accident on the interstate sends them into a tailspin because they personalize it, they forget that the tragedy actually happened to someone else and has nothing to do with them personally. It is someone else's life that has been effected, not theirs, and yet they are somehow unable to maintain that boundary or distinction. I think living like that must be exhausting and also takes away from being able to empathize with others. It seems selfish to me to always make someone else's tragedy about yourself. I admit that on babycenter.com I read with too much frequency about women having their babies early...sometimes the baby's survive and sometimes they don't. One baby, Maelani, was born at 24 weeks and lived for 2 weeks. I prayed for her family every night and I wrote her parents a note and when Maelani died I cried, but the whole time I recognized that this was not my tragedy. I did not know these people, but I empathized with what they were going through. And I noticed that even through their unimaginable loss they relied on faith, family, and each other to get through this horrific situation. Their gratitude for the time they got to spend with their tiny daughter was amazing and their grace in the face of her death was amazing.
Perhaps though my faith and attitude have not been truly tested. I have experienced death in my extended family, but never the loss of a parent or sibling. I have experienced the loss of a beloved pet having to put 2 cats to sleep and finding 1 curled up on her favorite chair. But perhaps none of what I've experienced has been the kind of tragedy that will truly test my faith. Being pregnant with what is considered a high risk pregnancy I have thought a lot about what would I do if something happened to Emma. She is already such a huge part of my soul. How would it feel if she did not make it? I have already made my peace with Down's Syndrome and Spina Bifida due to a slightly abnormal test result (but thinking everything is okay in those areas), but I think the pain of a stillbirth would crush me. How do you recover from that? I guess you must because people do. I don't think your life ever goes back to normal, but rather that you adjust to a new kind of normal.
And then I worry about child abduction. To me having a child kidnapped and not knowing if that child is okay or hurting seems worse than losing a child to illness. And the Department of Justice reports that 2,185 children are reported missing DAILY. This translates into 797,500 per year. How is that possible? How/Why do we have so many sick, perverted, and twisted people in the world? How can someone take someone else's child? I guess the answer is because they aren't really human, but rather the true embodiment of the devil on earth. How do parents not live in fear of this happening to their child with such high statistics? This is a tragedy that I am not sure even faith would get me through. Part of me is superstitious enough to wonder if I'm tempting faith by even discussing this, but I don't think God is cruel.
I pray daily that I will never have to go through a tragedy involving my child or really anyone I love. And I pray for those who are unable to see the beauty in life and who carry heavy burdens in their heart. I pray that my faith always sustains me and that God always provides me with what I need and nourishes my soul.
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