First off it has been a rather warm (and by warm I mean for MA in December) day, but the unrelenting rain we've had all day has made it seem very cold and damp out. Luckily my prego status enables me to get curbside drop off and pick up by my wonderful hubby while he hunts down a parking spot. He dropped Karin and I off at the doors and we went inside to search out a wheelchair or scooter for me.
The scooters are conveniently located up front near the exit And let me tell you people exit Costco like the store is on fire. So, we find a scooter with a full battery supply, figure out how to turn it on, and then have to figure out how to back up without
Remember how when you were learning to drive and you'd jerk and halt and proceed in fits and starts...well, me learning to drive the scooter was exactly like that. So, I'm trying to back up and do a 3 point turn to get the scooter facing the direction that actually allows me to go into Costco while trying to avoid the throngs of people pushing giant flat screen televisions and cases of wine and tubs of pretzels out the door like they are looting after a riot and of course not one Masshole (ok, we were in NH, but really most New Englanders seem to be pretty rude as a whole--remember these are the people who will make left hand turns like kamikaze pilots on a suicide mission, but who can't merge on to the interstate without slowing down to 30 mph) stops to let me proceed until finally a store employee takes pity on me and gives me 3 seconds to turn around and move out of the way.
Finally, after what seems like an eternity, we enter the store. And now I have to avoid the crowds of people rushing about trying to buy discounted electronics and bargain buys on jeans and frozen foods. I quickly, and by quickly I mean at the speed slower than my grandmother wheeling herself down the halls of her nursing home in her own wheelchair using only her feet for propulsion, make my way to the outskirts of the store. Of course Paul is behind me, sees something he wants me to look at in an aisle I've already passed, and forces me to turn around to come back and see. By this time I am exhausted and we've only been in Costco for 10 minutes, not counting the 20 minutes it took me to figure out how to use the scooter in the entrance. He decides to go get a cart and we decide to hang in this aisle until he gets back. The first thing he says when he gets back, "You guys didn't see those wheelchairs by the front door?" Um, apparently not because I'm in this death trap called a scooter! By this point there is no way I'll make it up front without taking someone out with the scooter so I decide to roll on with my fly ride.
We decide to save cold foods for last and make our way up to the pharmacy at the front on the other side of the store and work our way back. I've figured out that it is much easier to go down one aisle and come up the next versus trying to turn around. And that people do not care that they are about to be run over and even though the aisles in Costco are wide enough to drive a mini van through that they are not wide enough for crazed Christmas shoppers and 1 woman on a motorized scooter (b/c crazed Christmas shoppers take up the entire aisle especially the ones with wild eyed children whose parents aren't paying attention to them). Rest assured that I will run anyone over and do not discriminate so ya best keep those children out of my way.
Once we had eaten our free samples (really the best part of Costco) and made our way back to the meat section Paul decides to go purchase a membership. Karin and I grab all the meat we could ever need and head towards the front. I stop a Costco employee to ask where diapers and formula was and his response, "I have no idea." Really? Really? Cause your Costco name tag implies that you work here and should in fact know where items in your store are located. Um, okay. Thanks for the help.
So, we find the diapers and formula and check those out and head over to the candy and snack section and then the bras and panties (cause as you grow in pregnancy you have to continuously buy larger sizes of things as you expand in all areas--you could set a tray of cookies and tea on my ass right now and use my stomach to hold your cream and sugar), but alas, no sizes large enough for this large and in charge momma. Paul finds us and we head back up to pay.
I decide to go put my scooter away except I cannot figure out how to get back to the front of the store. Eventually I go out the in door, have to wait for a break in traffic, and run into the wall to stop (and again because the 2 pictures on the scooter are NO HELP). I chillax there while I wait for Paul and Karin.
Still raining and Paul goes to get the car and we finally head home where I sit my prego ass on the couch in front of the fireplace for the rest of the day.
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