Why I am Never Going to be Able to go Anywhere with Our Child by Myself

I have been the laziest of lazies today.  If our house cleaner wasn't coming over today there is a good chance I may have stayed in bed all day.  I did shower and get dressed and then rushed around trying to pick up some clutter so she could actually clean.  Luckily we have been much better about our clutter and throwing things out and donating things to Salvation Army so it was minimal. 

By 10:15am I was done with that, Mary was here doing her thang, and I was snuggled in the recliner, watching The Today Show, and eating Raisin Bran Crunch (I have never loved cereal as much as I have since I've been prego.  Seriously I eat cereal every day now). 

And that was pretty much the rest of my day.  I did have a brief spurt of energy where I thought I would wash the rug in front of the kitchen sink and the one in front of the door and by wash I mean throw it into the washing machine (FYI...the backing on the one rug NOT in good shape.  After Mary cleaned the bathroom I then got little pieces of plastic backing all over the floor and inside the washing machine and had to ask Mary if I could use her vacuum to clean it up--dang Paul and his 200lb, need a degree in physics to use, Kirby) and then Mary insisted she would clean it up and had to vacuum out the INSIDE of the washing machine--God love her for putting up with me.  Oh, and that rug went straight into the garbage and NOT into the dryer). 

When Mary left around 2pm I rustled up the energy to put a frozen pizza in the oven and have some of that (not impressed) and then continued my couch cruise. 

Finally at 4:15pm I couldn't stand it anymore.  I was so bored, so out of sorts, and so unmotivated that I forced myself to get up and go clean the garbage out of my car.  (Last year my friend Cory came to visit and was appalled by the condition of the inside of my car that she made me clean it out while she was here.  Since then I've tried to have more respect for my vehicle with period de-cluttering.  As I haven't been driving much since I was put on bedrest and lost my job it was quite awful.)  An entire garbage bag later and I was done.

So, I decided to practice using the car seat.  Keep in mind I was on bedrest for months (5, but whose counting) and what do you have lots of when you're on bedrest?  Time.  I had plenty of time to research consumer reports, ratings, product reviews, and any other car seat information I could find.  And research I did.  I ended up buying the Britax Chaperone in cow print with the matching stroller (I know, I know...everyone told me to get the snap & go stroller, but being a first time mom I wanted the whole shebang). 

When the police officer installed the car seat she felt the best fit would be to put it in the middle seat.  Luckily I have an SUV or there is no way this thing would've fit (which I knew going into this Britax thing).  She showed me how to install everything and I have to say it looked pretty easy.  When is anything I ever try to do easy?

1)  Get the car seat OUT of the base.  Well, this seems easy enough.  I know there has to be some kind of release lever somewhere on the car seat.  Hmmmm....keep in mind it's 20 degrees out, I'm 9 1/2 months pregnant, and have a parka and gloves on.  Where the heck is this release lever????  No directions on the base anywhere.  There's directions on how to put the seat into the base, but none how to get it out.  Okay, but I have smartly left the manual in the car seat so when we ever have this baby (which is gonna be never) we can figure out how to get her in the car seat.  I find the page with the instructions for removing the car seat (4 whole sentences) and the lever is what I have been pushing in.  All I can think about is "OMG if I had an emergency my baby would die because I am never getting this car seat out."  20 minutes later... I have a snotsicle and have finally gotten the car seat out.  I had to climb into the car to do it and I'm breathing like I've just run a marathon, but I did it! 

2)  I realize that my baby is going to have some serious issues with me heaving the car seat around while I'm trying to get it out of the base so I decide to try and move the car seat to behind the passenger seat.  Maybe if the car seat was closer to the door I could more easily get it out.  Now all I have to do is remove the base.  The base has these things that snap over the seat belt and I cannot get these unsnapped to save my life.  I broke a nail INSIDE MY GLOVES trying to do this.  I had to take my scarf off to cushion my fingers, but 15 minutes later and the snaps are open.  7 minutes later and I have the seat belt out.  I pull the passenger seat forward and slide over the base.  I am smart enough to not latch it in without checking out the passenger seat situation.  The car seat fits behind the passenger seat, but the passenger would have to sit straight up with their knees touching the dashboard.  Clearly this isn't going to work.

3) Re-installing the base.  By now it's almost dark outside.  My snotsicle has reached epic proportions and I am freezing.  Snaps, seat belt, car seat.  Cannot get the stupid bubble in between the 2 lines that tells me the car seat is in right position.  Have to figure out how to remove car seat to adjust base.  Up, down, up, down...why won't this stupid bubble move???  Get a towel per instruction booklet.  Realize I do not have the energy to try to get those stupid snaps undone to put the towel under the end of the base.  Maybe our driveway isn't level?  I'll look at the car seat when I go somewhere tomorrow (ob, post office, whatever) and see if its level.  Try again to practice removing the car seat and that's when I realize it.

I am NEVER going to be able to go anywhere alone with my child because I am never going to figure out how to get the car seat out of the car.   

Back to my couch cruise thoroughly defeated.