It is hard to believe that after all the stresses Paul and I have faced in our first 2 years together that our lives in 2011 will be even more chaotic, insane, and full of change. Life is always changing...that is inevitable, but I thought for sure the only change we'd face in 2011 would be the addition of our little Emma Grace. I guess it's true that God laughs when you're busy making plans. From our house falling apart to my recent heart issue to Paul's upcoming deployment...whoa...but what should seem overwhelming doesn't anymore.
I've been so worried about something terrible happening during labor or something being wrong with Emma or Paul's deployment. People have asked me how did I even cope with what was going on Sunday night and wasn't I worried and the answer is no. Everything happened so quickly and I was so uncomfortable that there really wasn't time for me to be worried about anything other than Emma's health and even that, I will admit, was not at the front of my mind. All I really worried about was breathing and making it through. I could see the fear on Paul's face and I have no idea what my face looked like while everything was going, but it felt very surreal. And before the moment (and by the moment I mean the 5 minutes it took to get me hooked up to all the equipment, the doctors and nurses rushing around the room, the crash cart, the medicine) and after the moment Paul and I still laughed. We held hands and we talked about our giant turkey baby Emma and everything we've been through and we laughed.
And since then all the changes, all the tears, all my fears and anxieties, and what not don't seem so important. Our lives are about to change in a HUGE way. At some point Emma will be forced out of her little home and into our big home. She will be here and we will love her more than we already do. Our marriage will change, hopefully for the better. We will spend the next couple months writing our wills and getting power of attorney's drawn up and preparing for Paul's deployment. He will travel twice for work and we will travel once for pleasure. Emma will get bigger. And then it'll be time to head for the airport and to say "See ya in 6 months" and "I love you" (okay, I'm a little teary eyed writing this part) and Emma and I will wave goodbye as Paul heads overseas and we'll be so proud of him! And Emma and I will work in the garden and take lots of pictures to send her daddy and travel some more and then head down to Florida for a few months so she can meet all mommy's friends and spend time with her grandparents.
And Paul will be serving our country.
July 4th will pass.
My birthday will pass.
Our anniversary will pass.
Thanksgiving will pass.
Paul's birthday will pass.
Christmas will pass.
Emma will be 11 months old.
And Paul will come home.
Life will change again. And life will be good....the entire time...life is good...laughter, tears, goodbyes and hellos...time passes...seasons change...life changes, but it's good.
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