Oh The Horror

There are things people told me I would do when I became a mother that I just didn't believe.  This weekend was a testament to how wrong I was.

Em has had a little stomach bug.  Friday she had a couple of gross diapers and by gross I mean DISGUSTING!
You know what happens when you are out to lunch, having sushi, and you go to change your baby's diaper, and find explosive diarrhea...you will throw up!  Thank goodness the toilet was next to the changing table and I was able to keep one hand on Emma while I threw up in the toilet.  Oh, and remember how we use cloth diapers...yeah, I then had to carry that stinky diaper in the diaper bag.  The diaper bag is not made of steel nor is it magic.  As we sat and finished lunch I could SMELL the diaper.  Smell it. 

Then Saturday she seemed like she was feeling better.  She played.  She had a good day.  Sure her appetite was still a little off, but whose isn't when you have a tummy bug. 

Saturday night Em was crawling around on the floor and she spit up a little.  Paul had just asked if I thought she was feeling okay and I said yes as I picked her up off the floor AND SHE PROJECTILE VOMITED ALL OVER ME!  And I'm not talking a little baby spit up I am talking me COVERED in vomit.  And by covered I  mean I had to get into the tub with Emma because I was COVERED in vomit.  Paul was gagging in the kitchen as I just stood there as the puke kept coming out of her mouth.  Remember the pea soup scene in The Exorcist...it was like that except more, so much more.  And the smell.  Oh the smell. 

Sunday I woke up feeling awful.  I slept most of the day and thank God felt better today.  I again thought Em would be fine today, but she woke up literally covered in shit.  I don't know how she hadn't woken herself up there was so much shit.  It was like a poop diaper.  It was leaking out onto her clothing.  This happened twice today.  I will never look at cream of chicken soup the same way again. 

Oh and the second time she was in a cloth diaper because I foolishly thought there can't be anymore poop in her.  How wrong I was.  So we are back to disposable diapers until this passes.  Between the dogs and Emma I literally spend my entire days cleaning up some form of poop, vomit, or urine.  Who knew my life would someday revolve around bodily fluids?