I've had this Wachovia account with no activity for over a year with a very low balance (and by low think $50) so I finally decide to get off my slacker ass today and just close it out. I call Wachovia thinking either I'll need to just send a letter or I'll be able to do it over the phone.
I get connected with a woman and our conversation goes like this:
Me: I'd like to close out my account.
Her: Can you verify your name and address?
I verify the information.
Her: Can you tell me what accounts you have with Wachovia?
Me: Um, I haven't lived in an area that has a Wachovia in 3 years. I get a statement for a free checking account and I think I had a savings account at one time. And I have an ATM card.
Her: And?
Me: I have no idea.
Her: Can you tell me when you opened the account?
Me: I have no idea. How would I know that information?
Her: Can I have your drivers license number?
Me: I've lived in GA and MA since I opened my account in FL. I have no idea what my FL drivers license number was. They don't let you keep those when you get a new license.
Her: Are you sure you don't have that number? I need it in order to close the account.
Me: I have no idea what that number is. Why would I know that information?
Her: Do you know when you opened the account?
Me: Again, I have no idea. It was over 3 years ago.
Her: I just need a month and a year.
Me: I have confirmed my mailing address where you mail my statement, my date of birth, the account number, and I can give you my social security number. Can I speak to a supervisor?
Her: Are you sure you can't remember the month and year you opened the account?
Me: Yes, I'm sure. It would just be me picking a random month and year out of a hat.
Her: Well, just try.
Me: January 2005
Her: Can you hold please while I talk to our online center?
4 minutes later.
Her: Okay, I can close that account. Are you sure you'd like to close the account?
At this point we've been on the phone playing this game for 20 minutes.
Me: Yes, I'm sure.
Her: And why are you closing your account?
You'd be happy to know that I didn't scream "Because you're a fucking dumbass," but just stated "Again, I don't live in an area that has Wachovia."
Are you friggin kidding me Wachovia? Yeah, won't be banking with you at any point ever again.
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