We are 3 days in to 2011 and I feel like I should have something profound to say. I've read all these blogs about what people have learned in 2010 and how they've grown and changed. I am not sure my life has changed in that many profound ways.
I guess if I had to pick 2 things I would focus on:
1) My marriage. Although my first husband is undoubtedly a good guy I never felt for him like I do for Paul. I was finally able to see what people meant when they talk about the honeymoon period and how great the first year of marriage is. Since Paul always falls asleep before I do I've had a lot of changes to glance over and look at him and my heart surges with love every time (he's so cute when he's sleeping--you can't even imagine!). I pray that God continues to bless our marriage and our lives together and that we are as happy in 10 years or 100 years as we have been this 1st year. Paul has proven himself to be a man of worth. He has stood by my side as we grieved the loss of our first child and he has stood by my side as we soldiered through bedrest and an incompetent cervix. He has stepped up to the plate in all ways and although we do get annoyed with each other from time to time it is nice to know that the love we have for each other is incredibly strong. I feel like there isn't anything we couldn't overcome together and truly we have already been through most of the top marriage stressors out there (moving, buying a house, miscarriage, losing a pet, losing a job, losing a job, losing a job--rough years to be a social worker!) and have come out the other side relatively unscathed.
2) Parenthood. We were devastated when we lost our first little one early on in the pregnancy at the beginning of 2010. I feel blessed that our loss did happen so early in the pregnancy. We grieved together. I drank lots of wine and time moved on. Eventually we got pregnant again and here we are...8 months pregnant, almost 8 1/2 months and about to have our first little girl. It is hard to believe how much our lives changed in 2010 and that 2011 is going to bring even more changes. It is scary and surreal and unnerving.
3) God. Although I don't go to church on a regular basis and I wish I could be more faithful in attending church I do believe in God. I pray every night and feel so blessed to have so many friends with such strong faith. They inspire me to be a better person on a daily basis and I feel like God has brought so many people into my life for a reason. I miss them every day and look forward to reading their blogs (hint hint get to it people). And I've also found amazing inspiration reading about the lives of others and how God has impacted their lives. I wonder all the time about the resiliency of some and the difficulty others have and have come to the decision that it comes down to Faith and attitude.
Hey, I guess those are 3 things and they are pretty profound. I sit here while Emma squirms around in my belly and think about all the things I need to be doing and I am content. I got a lot accomplished on my to do list today (yay for a little less procrastinating). It seems to be that the biggest theme of my 2010 has been blessings. I've noticed I use that word a lot and I am truly thankful for that!
Give yourself more credit...those are phenomenal resolutions! I had no idea that you had been married once before and would definitely say that it seems like you and Paul were made for each other. I especially like #3, as I've witnessed God work miracles in my life and keep my own marriage strong throughout many struggles we've faced the last 13 years and that has absolutely strengthened my own faith. Just wait until he gives you the biggest blessing of all in 2011...baby Emma!
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