UPS

A couple weeks ago I got a package in the mail from Callaway Golf.  Considering as I haven't golfed in years, nor have I ever ordered anything from that company it wasn't surprising that the package was addressed to someone else.  We've lived in our house for 3 years.  Our house sat empty for 2 years before that.  And I'm pretty sure that the package was for the former owner's son. 

So, like a good citizen I call Callaway Golf and they say just to drop the package off at my local UPS store and say that I'm refusing it.  Well, my local UPS store is like 30 minutes away and the one day I stopped by to drop the package off it was closed. 

I'm pretty lazy so I thought I'll just write return to sender, wrong address and put it in a UPS drop box in my town.  The first time I tried to do that someone had jammed a box that too large in the opening and blocked it.  The second time I was successful and I thought I was finished with this package. 

Imagine my surprise when I got home the next day from running errands and the package was on my doorstep!  What!  I felt like I was being haunted!  You have got to be freaking kidding me!

So, finally last weekend I made it back to the UPS store and the following conversation ensued (imagine my piece being said with a slightly southern accent).

I get in line behind a woman who had 1 brown box and 1 flat rate box from the post officer.  The clerk measures and weighs the flat rate box and says, "That'll be $20."  The woman says, "But that's more than the post office.  That's a flat rate box."  Clerk says, "We don't have flat rate boxes."  Woman, "So are you saying I should take it to the post office?"  Clerk, "Yes."  I wanted to grab the woman and shake her and ask what is wrong with you???

Then it's my turn. 

Me, "This package was delivered to my house, but this person doesn't live there. I'm refusing to accept it." and I put the package on the counter.

Clerk, "Someone needs to pay for it to return it."

Me, "I talked to Callaway Golf and they said all I needed to do was drop it at my local store and say I was refusing it."

Clerk, "But someone still needs to pay for us to return it.  Or you can give it to a driver."

(Let's just take a little sidebar here.  What the hell is the difference if I drop it at the store and say I'm refusing it or give it to a driver and say I'm refusing it?  Am I supposed to stalk UPS drivers and wait until I see one pulled over?)

Me, "I tried that already and it showed back up at my house the next day."

Clerk, "But I can't take it unless you pay for it."

Me, "Listen, I understand that this isn't your problem.  It's not my problem.  It's Callaway Golf's problem.  I'm not paying for it.  I'm not taking this package back.  You can throw it away for all I care." and with that I turned and ran out of the store.

Now, during this whole exchange a father and his elementary school age daughter were behind me.  And of course who are the first people we see when we get to the mall.  The father and daughter walking in right ahead of us.  The daughter gave me the wide eyed, "you're the crazy lady from the UPS store" look and the father gave her the "don't make eye contact" look.

Emily and I were already laughing because of the whole exchange at the UPS store and this was just the icing that made us laugh harder.

If this package comes back to my house I'm opening it and raffling the contents off on this blog.