The Gym

I have worked out...wait for it...every day this week! I ran outside once, ran at the gym twice, and tomorrow will be my second day at Stroller Strides this week. Go me, go me, go me (with a little cabbage patch dancing going on for effect). I even used the dip and chin up machine at the gym today (I hadn't done that in over 4 years and used to love it...my arms rocked when I did it on the regular). Although I am constantly bombarded with the realization that if I don't get my eating under control I will never lose weight. For a year now I've debated going to a food addicts anonymous meeting. I have a friend who went and lost 100lbs, but she had to give up fat, flour, and wheat...no bread, no pasta, no chicken wings, no wine...only eating a very specific menu and I just don't think I have that in me. I could perform brain surgery before I could give up chicken wings and wine. Sigh.

And apparently every person I know who has lost weight recently has done so through major changes in their diet. Why are foods that taste so good so bad for me? Much like my obsession with douchebags in my late 20's it seems. Ugh.

I guess I can continue to make little changes. For example I've given up sugar in my coffee and have started using agave. That is a huge step for me! I used to be a 4 teaspoons of sugar per cup type of person so to use a couple teaspoons of agave is a big deal.

I think the next step is to add more fruits and vegetables into my diet. I really feel like we don't eat a lot of processed foods (which is part of the reason I struggle with couponing. I just don't ever buy the crap they have coupons for). I cook dinner every night (Emma has curbed our dinners out on the weekends), but there are still nights that we order in pizza (a couple times a month). I think adding a green smoothie will help me add in more fruits and vegetables to my diet and help me lose weight.

When I was finishing up week 2, day 3 of ease into 5k today all I could think was how am I going to run 2 straight minutes next week and I think a fat person ate the thin person I used to be. I used to be in such good shape. I lifeguarded, swam during my breaks, worked out, roller bladed to work, ran, walked...I was so active! And over the last 10 years it's almost like my will to care what I look like has been sucked right out of me (and yet surprisingly I met a very handsome, great man who fell in love with me). I've gotten fatter and fatter and fatter as the years have rolled on, but now that I'm a mom I don't want a fat kid. I think it's negligent when parents allow their children to eat junk food (I'm not saying we don't ever let Em try sweets) as a primary meal source or be super heavy. You are the parent. You set the example. I am Em's mom. I need to be an example of a healthy lifestyle for her and I want to be here for a long time for her.

So I am going to secretly stalk my friends who have recently lost weight and made healthy lifestyle changes and do what they do. Please encourage me. Please tell me how you've lost weight. I need the help and encouragement. I've gotten the working out down, but I need to get my eating under control.

My name is Jenn and I am an overeater. Help!