The Mystery Spot

Last night I was in the bathroom getting ready for bed and I hear Paul exclaim as he crawled into bed, "Hey, why is the bed all wet?" 

Huh? was my response.  I walked out of the bathroom and Paul shows me this rather large wet spot on his side of the bed. 

Me: Maybe the ceiling is leaking.

Sadly this could be a real possibility in our house, and we both looked up, but no water dripping from the ceiling. 

Me: I have no idea.

Paul: It smells sweet like flowers.  Did you spill perfume or something on the bed?

(Yes, I roll around with open bottles of perfume and lotion on the bed while Paul is at work.)

Me: Um, no.

Paul:  Are you sure you didn't spill something on the bed?

Me:  What would I have spilled on the bed? 

I lean over to smell the wet spot (who does that????  Paul and I do.) and Paul pushes my face onto the mattress.  Some people might get mad over that.  I chose to laugh like a hyena because it was hilarious!

Paul:  Did you put lotion on the baby?

Me:  It's not lotion.  I did have the baby on the bed today for naked nap time.

Before you call the authorities on me, Emma has an awful diaper rash that has resulted in an open sore on her little bum (we have a pedi appointment tomorrow) so I was giving her some naked bum time to air it out. 

Me:  But I had her on a towel and a pee pad under her and she did pee on that.  Hey, why is my pillow all wet?

And then I flashbacked to naked nap time.  I saw Em waking up.  I saw Em crawling around the bed, onto my pillow, and over on Paul's side of the bed, and I realized that she must have peed again!  Sneaky little heathen!

Paul:  Well let's just change the sheets.

Me:  Um, we don't have any clean sheets.

Paul: What?  Why?

Me:  Um, because I haven't washed them yet from the last time I changed them.  Here, we'll just put a towel down.

And this is how we slept.

Paul:  This towel sucks.  It's scratchy. 

And I spent today washing sheets.  And chuckling to myself about how we slept in pee.  And about how Paul rubbed my nose in it like a dog.  You would've laughed, too, if you had been there. 

Good times in our household, good times.