Bye Bye Boobies

When I first started breastfeeding I NEVER thought I'd make it to 6 months much less a year.  It was painful, it was time consuming, I was exhausted, and the baby did NOT naturally know what to do (1 of the big lies you hear at the end of your pregnancy--the baby will just know what to do--NOT).  Going to a lactation consultant made all the difference and all of the sudden nursing was easy (of course baby was probably 4 months old at this point). 

Now here we are...weaning...baby 11 1/2 months old.  My plan was to go fully to 1 year and honestly I probably could've kept going past that, but I am going out of town this weekend (my first time away from baby ever...YIKES!) and didn't have any supply in the freezer and couldn't pump enough.  Our pedi gave us the okay to start whole milk and since we are also trying to get pregnant it seemed like the time to wean.  And yes, I know some women breastfeed during pregnancy, but I had a high risk pregnancy the first time so that is not an option for me. 

I really thought I'd be more excited about weaning.  I love that baby loves table food and solids and whole milk apparently (we tried some today.  I'm not even sure she realized it was anything different).  I had been nursing just morning and bedtime and tonight we cut out bedtime boobies and I am sad.  I miss that time with my baby goose, the cuddling, the nursing, the closeness.  Yes, I know we can still cuddle, but its not the same.  If you've nursed your baby then you know.   I have felt a little sad all night.  I am much  more emotional than I thought I would be about weaning. 

Also, my boobies have become deflated balloons.  It's not pretty y'all.  Anyone have a loser boob and a super boob?  Apparently it's normal for your breasts to produce different amounts of milk; however, I am now left with 2 different size boobies.  Sigh.  Still I am going to focus on the fact that I was able to produce milk for so long for my baby and that my boobies are healthy! Always see the blessings in everything in life. 

Now I know that when you see me you are going to be secretly trying to check out my rack to see if you can tell they are different sizes.  Don't lie.  I know.  It's okay.  I would look, too. 

My baby is almost a toddler.  Time really does go by so quickly!  And she is teething I think (or coming down with a cold...lucky daddy...of course while he was deployed baby was sick for 5 weeks so I think he can handle her fussiness for a weekend and he's a really good daddy so she'll be well taken care of as long as our doctor friend Rebekah is available on speed dial) so she's been super fussy during the night (tired anyone?). 

I love my baby goose.