Me: My drunk dad wants 2 know why he didn't get invited to the Superbowl. He has top secret clearance, is young at heart, and can get a permit to carrky a gun. He also wants you to know if you want to come home he'll go down and take your place and there will be a couple big bags of shrimp mailed your way.
Paul: My black friends would be scared of an 8ft tall white man with a gun.
My dad: I can put black camo on my face. Black guys respect a tough guy even if he is white.
My dad doesn't understand that his top secret clearance from when he was in the army expired about 40 years ago.
Paul @ 12:54am: I am now wondering the street looking for Reggie.
Me: I hope someone's with you.
Paul: A lot of people, no one I know.
Paul @ 1am: Found Reggie. I'm safe now.
Paul @ 1:21am: Iim really drunk
Paul @ 1:54am: Its been a long time since I was this drunk. Heading home
Paul then tells me he's going to an outdoor concert. I assume it's like a 4 Tops cover band or something.
Me: Whose singing
Paul: Rianna or something. The girl that got beat up
Paul: A young lady has ask me to put her on my shoulders.
Paul being a douche: Ha rd 2 tipe wit her on should?ers!!!
Paul @ 11:08: Having some drinks until after traffic
Me @ 12:33: R u still in traffic
Paul: Nope. Drunk and dancing with hookers
Me: Not funny
Paul: Actually some girls were flirting with our group. I was the first to show how pretty my ring was
Paul @ 1:32am: I'm soooooooo drunk!!!!!!!!
I wish I had kept the texts Paul sent me from his friend's bachelor party in Atlanta....so hilarious!
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