Wow. It's been a long time since I've written anything. I guess that's a good thing since most of my old blogs were about the awful guys I've dated and the hilarious situations I would end up in from dating. God, I've dated some losers. But I digress.
I do go about my days and come across situations that I feel I could blog about, but I'm kind of lazy and don't do it as soon as I get home and then I forget. So, I decided to put a whole bunch of random stuff in this blog.
1) My grammy is hilarious! She is very feisty and her favorite trick is putting her leg upside her head while she's sitting (you know like dancers do standing). She does this trick for everyone and anyone who will watch. Unfortunately Grammy is now in a nursing home which she hates. When Grammy was young she was a little racist. She had a roommate, Mrs. Cooper. Mrs. Cooper is a funny, older black woman and she is just as feisty as Grammy. One day my aunt was there visiting (do not get me started on the rest of the family's appalling lack of concern in visiting my Grammy) and she said something about Mrs. Cooper being black or something (not anything bad, just a comment). Grammy's response..."What? Mrs. Cooper's black?" She had lived with this woman for almost a year and did not even notice that she was black. I would've given anything to have been there to hear that comment.
2) When Paul was at SOS for 5 weeks I went to visit him one weekend at the AF base. One night we went down to the officers club. It was like a fraternity party of 30 somethings. Very disturbing and slightly sad. Everyone was wasted to the point that A) one guy in Paul's flight spilled an entire cup of beer on my feet. I was wearing sandals. Don't think I didn't plop my beer soaked feet into his lap for him to wipe off; B) a guy and a girl got into a physical fight to the point that the guy had the girl in a headlock...um, okay...then someone seperated them and all was forgotten and they were back to being BFF...granted the girl looked more like a man than a woman, but; C) Another 2 guys almost got into a fight and the drunkest guy there stepped in to break them up with all his mature, drunk logic; D) this same guy kept coming over to a girl in Paul's flight telling her how beautiful she was and asking me "Isn't she beautiful?" over and over and over (to which I repeatedly reminded him that she was married--she was way nicer to him than I ever would've been cause my response would've been Leave me the fuck along drunk ass)...um, she's okay, drunk ass...she's not like a supermodel...certainly not like the time I was at a bar with a Jacksonville Jaguar cheerleader (now her I could understand why the 5 guys came over to ask me to introduce them to her), but not this girl was not anything special...of course, being a female in the military is much like being a female in Alaska...I don't think I need to say anything more than that...you get my point.
3) Paul and I just stayed in Hanscom AFB outside of Boston for a week while we looked at houses. On the base we saw an animal. It was either a groundhog, woodchuck, beaver, muskrat, or otter. So everytime we saw this animal I had to yell all 5 animals out. We also walked and Paul convinced me it would be shorter to get back to our room if we climbed up this steep ass hill. When we got to the top I was fairly certain I was having a heart attack and had to literally stop and rest.
4) Paul and I went into Salem one day to look around and eat lunch. Paul...let's just say he's not used to driving anywhere where there are people and other cars apparently. He became slightly stressed out. Northeastern roads are not for him. I laughed like a hyena of course. We decided that I would drive us everywhere and Paul would only drive himself to work and home once we live up there. We were in the car on the interstate and I kept poking Paul in the arm and he said something about me being mean and I said "I'm going to be aggressive Jenn by the time we leave Boston" to which he replied, "And I'm going to be pyschologically damaged Paul." And again I laughed like a hyena.
5) We went to the Bunker Hill monument. Paul decides we need to walk the 294 steps to the top. I don't really want to, but I don't want him to do it without me. So, up we go. About step 25 I start to breath hard. Step 50 I have to stop and rest. Step 75 I am fairly certain I am having a heart attack. Step 100 I am dizzy, have to rest, can't feel my feet, and want to go home. I give up (I can be a quitter at times) and head back down. Paul walks partially down because I think he wants to make sure I don't fall and go careening to my death. I was him to wait until a time when we are in better shape and can both do it together. Much like a small child he wants to do it RIGHT THEN and up he goes. I head back inside to search for an EMT. About 15 minutes later Paul comes in...covered in sweat...unable to speak...breathing like he's just run a marathon. This was Saturday. Today is Monday. He is still complaining how sore he is and hobbling about like a 90 year old man. My response, "I told ya so!"
6) And finally today...I basically do nothing, but do hunt down my 2007 tax return for my account (which involved me going onto H&R Blocks website, finding my log in information, and printing it out because of course I have zero idea where I put it when I did my taxes last year and am prety certain I probably didn't print or save a copy for myself anyways. Then I drop that off (this tax stuff better freaking be worth it...if I owe money I am going to be so pissed) and head to the gym. Holy shit! I ran an entire mile on an incline. Of course I am running at turtle speed and the woman running on the treadmill next to me finishes 2 miles in the time it takes me to do 1, but screw it she probably weighed 100 lbs. less than me. And I was proud of myself! Then I come home and mow the yard which takes like an hour. Halfway through the lawnmower conks out and I have to stop and clean out the bottom which is disgusting. It's like a slimy, old grass, old dog poo soup. It stinks and of course I only find a small stick with which to clean this out which of course breaks in half causing this sludge to get under my fingernails. I finally get it all cleaned out and leave this big pile of crap (literally) in the yard. Then I let the dogs back out and Sasha is EATING IT! Now I have to get 2 plastic bags and go out there and clean this sludge crap out of the grass with plastic bags (plastic Publix bags NOT an effective glove--FYI if I wanted things wrapped in plastic bags Publix why then WOULD I BRING MY OWN BAGS??? That annoys the crap out of me. I am so the person who makes them take the items out of the plastic bags). Finally I finish and get to take a much needed shower.
Tomorrow starts my 4 day belly bloat cleanse of my flat belly diet. Yes, this is an actual diet from an actual book bought at Barnes and Noble. I am fairly certain I will be extremely cranky for the next 4 days. I will let you know how it goes.
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