Must love dogs what?

This is what I've gone through the last few days. Keep in mind that 2 weekends ago I spent 30 minutes cleaning up 90lb. dog diarrhea.

Yesterday woke up at 6:30am and found dog vomit all over my $300 Restoration Hardware duvet. So, have to take the duvet off the down comforter and put it in the wash. Go back to bed. Wake up later and have to wash the down comforter.

Have to go to Verizon because my cell phone is broken...this is the 2nd LG Voyager I've had that has broke since I've lived in Valdosta.

Get home from dinner, am sitting on the couch, and suddenly smell something awful. Immediately put the dogs outside, but its too late. Dog diarrhea on the carpet in the dining room (don't you want to come eat dinner at my house). Did I mention that I just had shampooed the rugs on Monday or Tuesday?

Get my 1am phone call from my international stalker. Am pissed. Answer the phone and say "You have the wrong fucking number. You need to stop calling me If you call again I'm going to call the fucking cops." The guy says, "I'm sorry." 45 seconds later he calls back except I can't answer the phone because my cell phone still isn't working right. Am paranoid and scared from watching the movie "Taken" with Paul over the weekend. Worried that I am about to be kidnapped because I was rude to my international stalker. At least he called at 1am and not his usual 3am or 4am.

Have to work in Tifton today. Get to my 1st client's apartment. He doesn't have a shirt on. Um, okay, weird. Go to 2nd client's house. She is in shut down mode and barely responsive. Only have 2.5 more hours to work a miracle with her. Go back to 1st client's house to meet with him and his girlfriend. A female and 2 males are standing at the bottom of the stairwell...the female was SELLING MARIJUANA to one of the males. I have to say excuse me so I can go up the stairs. White woman in a black neighborhood...social services, probation and parole, or law enforcement...I'm expecting to get a bullet in the back as I go up the stairs plus I can hear them saying, "Whose she?" Last week when I was there I parked next to a car and the 2 guys were standing outside their car smoking pot. Nice.

Back to Valdosta. Rush home to let the dogs out. Don't anticipate being gone long so I put Beauty in her cage and leave Beast, Sasha, and Jojo out with the tv on. Go to client's house and am there for 1.5 hours. Then have to go back to Verizon because my cell still isn't working. Get a new phone (but was proud of myself because I really want a blackberry and instead took the free Voyager because I'm poor). Then have to go to Publix to get cat litter. Get home and found vomit EVERYWHERE because one of the dogs (or all 3 of them) had eaten 2 bars of almond bark, a bottle of parmigiana blend bread seasoning, and perhaps some enzyme supplements for acid reflux. Call the on call vet and leave a message. Have to shampoo the areas that are covered in vomit. Hit the diarrhea spots from last night. Am CRYING because I'm so overwhelmed and still have to mow the grass because I don't have time the rest of the week and if I waited till next week it would've been physically impossible. Try to let the amazing vomiting dogs outside with me, but Sasha and Jojo attack the lawn mower to the point that Sasha grabbed the front wheel and picked the front of the lawnmower up off the ground. So, inside they go.

Mowing the lawn takes longer when the lawnmower cuts off every 5 feet because your weeds (the backyard looked like it was covered in parsley) are knee high. Poor Beasty would get lost in there. An hour later get the backyard done. May have suffered a minor heart attack in the process and at one point almost threw up from breathing so heavy and sweating so much. Glad I skipped the gym.

The vet calls back and tells me not to worry about it. He says the vomiting was good and milk chocolate isn't that bad for dogs. It's really the baking chocolate you have to worry about. I guess we'll see if everyone survives the night.

FINALLY get to eat dinner....very healthy (NOT) homemade nachos. I used almost an entire container of fat free sour cream. At least it was fat free. Go to turn AC up and have to clean dog poo up from the hallway.

Am exhausted and going to bed. Am trying to walk in gratitude for all that I have and remember how lucky I truly am.

PS Have y'all ever seen the match.com commercials where "real members" tell a little about themselves--"it's okay to look"? Have you noticed they are all generally attractive? I used to be on match.com and I can tell you that I NEVER saw anyone I was remotely attracted to on there. Oh well. I have my honey now and couldn't be more in love if I wanted to. :)

I really hope my tomorrow does not involve dog poop or vomit. I can't take much more of that!