My Random Weekend

I wonder sometimes if anyone has as much randomness in their lives as I do:

Thursday: Took the dogs and drove down to FL for the weekend. It seemed to take forever to get there. Dropped the dogs off at my mom's and went to the store to buy ingredients for our dinner. Accosted the girl scout and her mom selling cookies outside Publix as have not been able to find girl scout cookies in Valdumpster. Go home and cook a delicious dinner from the Campbells Soup website except forgot to put milk in it. I guess it could've been more delicious. Did enjoy my cookies for dessert.

Friday: Went to Cyesis and saw my kids and ate lunch up there with my Cyesis family. Fun, fun, fun! Afterwards went over to Teen Court and saw my Teen Court family and my friend Amanda who works in the same building. Reminisced while driving around Sarasota. Feeling very homesick since Paul has been out of town for work. Don't think I ever appreciated how nice Sarasota is while I lived there.

Friday night: Went on a date with my dad. Went to a tapas restaurant in Pt. Charlotte. Yummy! Everything tastes good with a good bottle of wine though...hehe! Seriously, it was all tasty. Then decided to go get ice cream in Venice (gotta have my Kilwins). On the way there we saw A CAMEL! As we drove down Main St. my dad said that the wine store was open. He asked if I wanted wine or ice cream and of course I said both. So, we go to the wine store and it was like some weird bizarro old people bar...imagine a well lit, non-smoky bar, full of social, chatty, senior citizens. I was the youngest person there by 30 years. When I got out of the bathroom my dad was talking to a woman who I found out had been a realtor he worked with previously to buy a house. She thought I was his date! After we enjoyed our glass of wine and each bought a bottle of wine (and were the last people to leave at 9pm if even), we went to Kilwins and enjoyed some ice cream. I then went back to my mom's and watched tv with her.

Saturday: Woke up and took Jojo to the farmers market in Sarasota with my mom (stopped at Starbucks on the way). Wondered why I didn't go to the farmers market more when I lived there. We then went to eat lunch at C'est La Vie...the best bread I've ever had! I mean I have been there and usually go because their bread is that good. Bread with tons of butter. Jojo sat patiently by my side and enjoyed his own little slice of bread heaven. Across the street from us was a puppeter with an elephant playing the piano! Then my mom made me go with her to my old house to pick up her composter that I was using. I had to pee so bad and Melissa had the screen doors all locked so I had to pee in the backyard! I then decided I had to ride that camel I saw last night and made my mom take me over there. Well, the camel guy was out to lunch so I settled for having my picture taken with a baby tiger instead. The men working at the little zoo in the parking lot in front of Ross (clothing store) all appeared to have been recently released from prison and in dier need of a dentist. We then went back to mom's and had our own personal dog park with my 4 dogs and her 3 dogs. I then let Sasha go swimming which she loves. I then had to take a nap from which I almost didn't wake up.

Saturday night: I met my friend Jennifer at Mattison's City Grill for dinner. She lost over 20 lbs. and looks absolutely fantastic! People who have the will power to lose weight fascinate me because I am soooooo lazy and unmotivated despite my constant complaing about how fat I am. After a very delicious dinner (I even went vegetarian with grilled portobello mushrooms and goat cheese) and some even better glasses of wine we decided to go to Marina Jack's. We initially sat outside and had a beverage; however, when I went inside to use the restroom I noticed a piano bar. When I came back outside and told Jennifer she had the same reaction I did which was awesome! So, we moved the party inside and got a seat right up front. We ordered another beverage and some potato skins. This woman walks in who I recognized except I thought it was a caregiver from Cyesis. She came over and gave me a hug and I said, "Long time no see" because I had seen her yesterday. Jennifer and I spent a good deal of time watching a woman who had an extremely inappropriate short dress on...so short that we were in fact convinced that it was a tunic top and not a dress at all. We bet on how long it would take before her underwear were showing. And she was no spring chicken, nor was she a playboy bunny. And the pianist played Mambo #5...WATCH OUT...apparently old people LOVE that song because everyone got up to dance. This weird threesome of 2 women and 1 man were extremely good dancers and perhaps swingers as well. Although if he had asked me to dance I would've said yes just to dance cool like them.

Saturday/Sunday early morning: In the middle of the night I woke up and thought "That wasn't the caregiver from Cyesis. It was Dr. Post from the school board." She is the district discipline coordinator and I used to attend her expulsion meetings for a job I had. Then I spent the rest of the night and all day Sunday trying to figure out who the hell I hugged at the bar. I still have no freaking clue and it's driving me crazy!

Sunday: Stupid time change! Am so exhausted can hardly get out of bed. Being slightly hungover probably did not help. Eventually dragged myself out of bed, but decided against a shower because I thought I might take Sasha to the dog beach later. Went to brunch with my mom. Went home. Watched my mom try to take down an antenna off the little house (let's just say she was not successful). Really want a nap, but need to get ready to go to Strawberry Festival and want to stop by my dad's first. Receive a call from Breun about her friend who had passed away. Went to dad's for a quick 30 minute visit and then drove to Breun's. Went with Breun to visit her friend whose husband passed away the night before. Oddly, her friend's neighbor also died in his sleep the night before as well. Am very sad for Breun's friend. They are a younge couple, younger than me. Can't imagine Paul dying now. Breun and I went to the Strawberry Festival and wandered around enjoying corn dogs, strawberry shortcake, elephant ears, and lemonade. 10,000 calories later and some wacky pictures we got ready to see Jessica Simpson. A couple Breun is friends with was also there and we sat with them and chatter while we waited for the concert to start. As we're talking I look over and see a guy I went to middle and high school with! Breun and I go to our seats and I had to say hi to this guy as we were friends. Of course his wife is gorgeous and I look like I belong at the Plant City Strawberry Festival aka hillbilly heaven. Clinton and Stacy would've been so disappointed in me...in my unattractive jeans, fitted t-shirt, pink converse and keep in mind that I hadn't showered, nor washed my hair since Thursday. So, I bite the bullet and say hi and we're chatting. I tell him how I'm getting married to Breun's 7th grade boyfriend and he laughs becuase he had just told his wife that I was HIS 7th grade girlfriend (longest two weeks of my life! Just kidding!). He's a doctor and was supposed to be a plastic surgeon and told me at our 5 year class reunion he'd give me free lipo, but instead he went general medicine and offered me Botox. Hmmm... Funny. I found out later that he got to meet Jessica Simpson (who looked awesome and in no way, shape, or form fat) so I am sure I looked extra assy to him with my greasy hair. If anyone wants to submit me to What Not to Wear I would much appreciate it. Thanks. My grossness did not stop me from getting late night Taco Bell becuase I was surprisingly starving when I got back to Venice at 11pm. Hmmm, why can't I lose weight? Damn you general medicine! My mexican pizza and nachos were damn tasty though.

Monday: I woke up and went to let the dogs out and noticed some poop. As its early and I am tired I cannot deal with this so I let the dogs out and figured I'd clean up when I woke up (it was on linoleum, not carpet). When I got up again later I noticed that it wasn't just a little poop it was our 90 lb. boxer had had diarrhea EVERYWHERE! It smelled like something died in her and then crawled out and died again on the floor. Which is exactly what you want to smell after consuming a corn dog, strawberry shortcake, and late night Taco Bell the night before. It took me 30 minutes to clean up this shit. Now, it could've taken so long becuase I kept having to stop to gag and cover my nose and mouth with a Clorox wipe which was the only thing I had handy (the one time I don't bring my Vicks vaporub somewhere with me). I finally showered and packed up the car and head back to Valdosta. Of course there was construction traffic so it took me an hour to get out of Sarasota, but I did stop at Jersey Mike's for a sub to eat on the way home. Luckily Sasha waited till I finished eating to expel her terrible gas (for the next 4 hours). She was nice enough to warn me with a sound similar to air being let out of a balloon and then stank explosion. I saw a dead cow, stopped at an exit to give the dogs some water and saw an accident where the guy in front of almost ran over the EMT because the ambulance stopped right in front of us (no worries, just a fender bender), stopped at a rest area and a man walked into the bathroom while I was washing my hands, and saw a massive forest fire. I did begin to call 911, but hung up becuase I figured anyone driving by would've seen the huge cloud of smoke. 911 then called me back and the dispather left me a message and said, "If this is an emergency please call (at which points he hesitates) 9-1-1" and then he also leaves the non-emergency dispatch number which made me laugh hysterically. I refrained from calling back.

Monday night: MetroOne Progressive Dinner. Fun, fun, fun! After a huge ass meal to go with my even huger ass and some beer (I totally wasn't going to drink until they said the beer was included and you can't pass up free beer) my friend Brittany took me to Spook Hill. She told me how this doctor and his family used to live there and he came home from work one night to find his entire family murdered. He doesn't like people to be at his house so if you stop in front of his house, put your car in neutral, he pushes your car up the street which is on a hill. I am totally skeptical. We get there and she puts the car in neutral. The car freaking rolls up the hill and not just a slight roll, but we got up over 10 miles per hour. I then made Brittany turn around so the back of the car was facing uphill and we rolled backward up the hill. All my hairs stood up! I then had to go home alone and felt kind of creeped out.

You will be proud of me becuase Tuesday I saw another forest fire and did not call 911 at all...it was slightly easier because a cop had just passed me and I hoped he would've reported a fire.

So, that was random weekend...Appropriate pictures are on my facebook in an album entitled Random weekend.