Changes

Well, I've been afraid of changing cause I've
Built my life around you
Time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older, too.
--Dixie Chicks, Stevie Nicks, Fleetwood Mac (?)

I've been thinking a lot lately about collections and the things that people collect. My dad loves...well, lets just say old crap...clocks, art, glass punch spoons. My mom hates collections of any kind. This is partially why my parents are now divorced. Paul is not a hoarder. I've inherited my love of collecting from my dad.

We are getting ready to move to Boston. I am lucky because I have several Kappa Delta sisters from Rollins up in Boston, including my big sis Janet who I haven't seen since she graduated, and others close by in Rhode Island. I know that the bonds that we formed in KD are enough for us to sit down together. We recently had a KD/Rollins reunion and when we were all together it was like no time had passed. We laughed and joked and it was like we were all 20 years old again. Sorority sisters, to me, is a given friendship.

But what about the other friends? Our move has made me melancholy and nostalgic. It has brought to mind all the friends that I've collected along the way. I remember co-facilitating a group for adolescents one time and my co-facilitator (my good friend Heather) made the comment that these teens would likely not have the same group of friends as adults as they did now (most of them were there for substance abuse and getting in trouble with the law with their friends) and she asked me how many of my high school friends I had. I was able to say that I have a lot of the same friends now that I had in high school, that I have been blessed to find really great friends, and I've worked really hard to keep them in my life. Although I may not see them or talk to them as much as I like that doesn't mean I don't cherish them and our shared history and shared future.

When I sit down and think about it, it amazes me that some of my friends and I have gotten to the point in our lives that we have known each other longer now than we haven't known each other...meaning we have been friends over half our lives. Kristy-friends since 4th grade. Robyn & Sean-friends since age 13. Josh & Justin-friends since age 16. Amanda & Cory-friends since 9th grade. Katie & Jen-friends since 7th grade. Kelly, Suzanne, Leah, Nadine, all my KD sisters-friends since college (and many of us just celebrated 10 years out of college). Kelley & Danielle and all my CFC compadres-friends for 9 years. Karin-friends for our entire lives. Not to mention the friends I made upon my divorce--Katie R., SamE, LeaAnn, Jane & Ty, Lisa B. & Lisa C., Alex, Nichele, Mary, Melissa, Mimi & David, Breun, Amanda H., Tara & Jeff.

When I left Florida, I was so heartbroken to leave my friends. Although I consider Paul to be my bestest, it's not quite the same as a girlfriend. I have always had a strong connection to my girlfriends. They have always gotten me through those times...good and bad. They have been the ones I've turned to when my family, life, boyfriends, job has been driving me crazy. Without them I wouldn't have survived.

I thought for sure I would never find the kind of friends in Valdosta, GA that I had in Florida...and I was wrong. Here I am...8 months after moving to GA, hating the first 4 months I was here, and finding now that I don't want to leave. Even though Valdosta doesn't have a ton of amazing restaurants, much less an Olive Garden, and tons of cool bars, and the beach, and all the things I miss about Sarasota...it has my friends...Emily, Anne-Marie, Brittney, Beth-Anne, Courtney, Erika, and all the other wonderful women I've met in Valdosta, GA.

I wonder in 9 years, when Paul retires from the Air Force, and we are done moving, how many amazing people will have been brought into my life. I wonder how many amazing friends I will have made and where we will all be in life. Kids will be grown, jobs will have changed, but I will continue to work hard to hold on to those who are important to me and I know that forever our lives will be connected. And when we are old and wrinkly we will look back at our lives...and laugh...and laugh...

Old friends,
Old friends
Sat on their park bench
Like bookends.
A newspaper blown though the grass
Falls on the round toes
Of the high shoes
Of the old friends.

Old friends,
Winter companions,
The old men
Lost in their overcoats,
Waiting for the sunset.
The sounds of the city,
Sifting through trees,
Settle like dust
On the shoulders
Of the old friends.

Can you imagine us
Years from today,
Sharing a park bench quietly?
How terribly strange
To be seventy.
Old friends,
Memory brushes the same years
Silently sharing the same fears.
--Simon and Garfunkel

PS If I didn't mention you by name, it doesn't mean I cherish our friendship any less. It just means I had too much wine at Bunco tonight.