Lonely

Undoubtedly one of the best and worst things about military life is moving every 3 to 4 years. I love meeting new people, living someplace new, and having new adventures, but I miss having a close circle of friends.

When I first moved to GA I was homesick for FL and when I first moved to MA I was homesick for GA. When we move next summer I don't think I'll miss MA.

Being in FL these past 2 weeks and seeing all my old friends has just reinforced how lonely I feel at home. Yes, we have met great people in MA and yes, we have friends I enjoy spending time with, but its different.

I lived in FL a long time and worked everywhere and so I knew everyone. I have so many good friends here. In GA I found a group of women that I had just an instant connection with. In MA I am lonely for that. Everyone is spread out and busy up here. The friends I have I am lucky if I see every other month. I want a close mommy group of friends like I have in FL and GA. I want Emma to have friends. Sadly, the women I've spent the most time with in the last year 6 months have been the 3 women who work in the babysitting room at the gym! And I cried on the last day I took Em to say goodbye. I don't think I'll cry when we leave MA.

Perhaps part of the blame is on me. I haven't really put myself out there or pursued things like I could've, but I also was dealing with deployment and miscarriages and didn't really feel like I had anyone I could talk to about those things. If you've never had a miscarriage you don't know, if you're not a military spouse you don't know and so it was easier to stay by myself.

Except now I see all these mommies I know in MA posting on facebook about play group or girls night out and I realize I don't have those relationships in MA.

So tonight I feel a little sad. I'm ready to head home to my hubby. I've missed him like crazy and I know Em does, too, but I wish I could import some of my friends from here to there.

I'm not one to feel sorry for myself. I don't think it serves any purpose plus I recognize at all times how blessed I am. That loneliness though. That's a tough one.