Those Parents

You'd never known we spent the last week sick.   What a busy day!  First off because it was Paul's day to get up with Em she didn't wake us up until 7:40!  You know since tomorrow's my day we'll be up at 5:40.  Sigh.  After breakfast Paul left to volunteer at a veterans fundraiser.  The weather was a little iffy and by iffy I  mean sprinkling when Em and I headed over around 9:30am.  I have had the worst headache that last 2 days and when I texted my doctor she wrote back, "Ugh.  Probably lupus."  WHAT!  What kind of response is that?  Lawdy.  I forced myself to stop at Starbucks on the way to the fundraiser as I haven't had coffee in a couple days because of the flu and even though I only drink half caf voila headache gone.  I guess my body was missing its coffee fix. 

My intention was that we would not be at the fundraiser that long.  There was not a lot of activities for Emma's age to do and yet we somehow ended up spending 2 1/2 hours and $30 there.  What did I spend $30 you ask?  Good question.  It was $5 to get it.  I bought a $3 iced coffee.  $12 on a deliciousness called Mountain Morsels (and it was healthy).  Um, $9 on hot dogs and lemonade (sweet peanuts).  And I'll tell you what.  Em has her appetite back in a way you'd think we were starving her.  Not only did she have a waffle for breakfast, in the time we were at the fundraiser she ate a fruit snack, cereal bar, Mountain Morsel sample, chips as in chips and salsa, AND a foot long hot dog.  She is fo sho our daughter.  Poor thing.

When we first got there we noticed there was no one in the bounce house.  How often do you see a bounce house with no kids in it?  To be fair we were also the first people there other than the volunteers, but still.  We noticed that the bounce house was wet and by wet I mean puddles of water had formed small rivers on the seams.  Most people probably would not have put their child inside.  Not us.  We took Em's shoes off and threw her in.  Paul went in with her.  30 soaking wet minutes later and I'm changing Em's clothes in the middle of a field.  At least I had an extra set of clothes.  Of course it meant that she no longer had on her cute pink outfit and now in her child ID card we had made today she is wearing a Bucs onesie and looks like a boy, but whatevs.  A bucs onesie, jean shorts with flowers on the hem, and hot pink sneakers.  Poor girl has a mother with terrible fashion sense.  How young is too young to be on What Not To Wear?

We got home and it was nap time followed by a trip to the new Orange Leaf that opened in our town.  Yummy!  So clearly I am feeling better.  We decided to stop by the park after our "healthy" candy topped froyo. 

This guy and his 2 year old son were playing in the sand box.  Em was playing near them.  The guy started to fill sand into a fish shaped toy and flip it upside down. Em thought this was great fun and wanted him to do it over and over and over.  Where were Paul and I you ask.  Sitting at the picnic table talking.  Yup.  Parents of the year.  Of course later we also found a piece of wood chip ground into her molar...you know because she had eaten some. 

Eventually Paul did get in the sandbox while I ran over to pick up some Chinese food.  I've been searching all day for something and I found it next door while waiting for our food to be ready.  Blue Moon Pumpkin Ale how I've missed you!  Someone had posted on FB that fall beers were out and he was right.  It was glorious I tell you!  First comes fall beer and then football and then fall leaves and then candy corn and Halloween and Thanksgiving.  Ahhhh bliss!  Of course if it wasn't still 9000 degrees outside I might could be a little more excited about fall, but I know it's coming.  It has to.  Summer is NOT my favorite time of year.  Yes, I enjoy cook outs and eating outside, but mostly it's just hot.  I hate being hot. 

And the liquor store guys invited me to their wine tasting next Saturday.  It's free so you know I'll be there.  And I got a FB friend request from a guy in high school.  No, not a guy I went to high school WITH, but actually a guy who appears to still be IN high school.  I'm not sure what about my profile prompted him to friend request me as he's not someone I know nor do we have any mutual friends.  My milfiness perhaps.  Don't be jealous.  And try not to choke while you're laughing right now.

We've also learned tonight that we will need to hire someone to potty train Em or she will wear a diaper forever.  She's pooped in the tub, and she's pooped in our toilet, but tonight she started to poop in the tub so I whisked her out and put her on her potty to finish.  While I finished cleaning the poop out of the tub Paul wiped her tooshy.  I turned around and he's yelling, "It's on my finger."  As he's trying to clean poop off his finger and not throw up, Em is trying to reach into her potty to grab the poop, and I'm trying to grab Em to stop her.  Then as Paul finishes cleaning her, I start cleaning out the potty and it wouldn't come out and it was so gross.  I'm gagging, trying not to throw up.   Blagh!  Clearly we are ready for potty training.  Poor Em.  They allow diapers in elementary school right?

Then Paul tells me that this afternoon he picked something up off the floor in the living room with his fingers that may have been a piece of poop.  Or it may have been a piece of dog food.  We are going with dog food since he picked it up with his fingers.  Lest you think we are disgusting human beings I did vacuum the living room floor yesterday and the basement floor this morning. 

Hope y'all are having a great weekend.  I think it's time for me to hit up da tub (remember when it used to be da club) with my book and a bottle of Blue Moon.  Ciao!