I was doing my Wii Zumba today thinking about what viewers would see if I was on The Real Housewives of Boston and I realized I would have the MOST boring reality show ever. This is my typical day (brace yourself for the excitement).
6am--side nurse Stinky...this basically entails me laying on my side with my boob hanging out and Stinky free feeds and we both sleep. If she's hungry she rolls over and opens her mouth.
9am--Ellen! Only if she has an interesting guest on. If not it's Regis and Kelly. Which by the way Kelly Ripa is wayyyyy tooooo skinny! Holy crap. She looks like a 12 year old boy.
10am--the Today Show, maybe a shower (which from Saturday to yesterday afternoon we had no hot water. You haven't experienced me at my hottest until this past weekend. I'm surprised Paul didn't make me sleep outside. I did shower...albeit very very quickly under the cold water and I only washed my hair once)
11am--Kathy Lee and Hoda (I know someday Hoda is going to punch Kathy Lee and by gosh I want to see it!)
12pm--eat lunch and maybe go to Starbucks
Our afternoons are equally exciting and filled with activities such as errand running, clothes washing, house cleaning, breast feeding, exercising (haha) and reading.
Today, after I finished 40 minutes of Wii Zumba and was a hot sweaty mess, I looked down at Jojo and noticed what looked like a red cherry sticking out of his bum. I actually called the vet and asked if dogs get hemorrhoids (FYI they do NOT) and they said to bring him in (yay for my sweaty self). Guess what dogs do get? Ruptured anal glands (who knew?). And if I didn't have enough to do and worry about with Paul deploying on Friday I now have to bring my dog in for anal surgery, him wearing a cone, him being unable to go up/down the stairs on his own and heck refusing to walk period with the cone on his head, and 14 days of anal seepage (fyi Jojo has just bled out his ass all over my living room carpet...good times, good times. Luckily Beast is licking it up for me. Sorry Beauty--we can't pay for your rotting tooth to be removed right now b/c we have to pay for Jojo's ass surgery. Maybe your tooth will just fall out on its own. I recommend everyone buy stock in carpet cleaner--we are raising the value on those with all our purchases). So if my house is not gross enough already I now have to clean up leaking anal fluids. I really feel that most of my days are spent cleaning up stuff that comes out of the behinds of those in my house with the occasional vomit thrown in for good measure.
I don't understand how these "real" housewives spend their days buying expensive items, going out to eat, drinking wine, and basically not doing anything of substance. When do they do anything that is actually real?
Boy, its going to be a fun 6 months.
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