I've been hearing on the radio this week about this woman who wants to become the world's fattest woman. She currently weighs 550 lbs. and wants to get to a 1000 lbs. Her name is Donna Simpson and surprise, surprise she's from New Jersey (why does every trashy reality tv loser wannabe hail from NJ???). She already holds the record for the world's fattest mom (I'm sure her kids are proud). Hindering her quest for glory...running after her daughter (age3) is giving her too much physical activity and keeping her weight down. Let's explore something disturbing for a moment...some man had sex with this fat ass. AND she's currently married to a man who weighs 150 lbs. He is a self professed fat admirer. I'm not sure how its physically possible for him to A) have sex with her and B) I'd imagine she'd have a little cheese in her fat rolls (stanky!) She has a website where people can pay to watch her be fat.
Granted I have gained a LOT of weight in the last 5 years, but I would hope that someone would shoot me before I weighed 600 lbs. I wouldn't even be able to move!
The other part that pisses me off is that morbidly obese people typically don't work and go on disability. I will be so pissed if our tax dollars pay for this woman to be fat. I think the state of NJ should tell this woman right now that she is NOT eligible for SSI or SSDI if she chooses to try and become the world's fattest woman. What lessons is she teaching her children? I'm sure her 14 year old son is wicked proud of his mom and I'm sure his friends don't make fun of him at all.
In the spirit of me not becoming the world's fattest woman I've been working out! Paul and I went to the gym Tuesday before work and I've been running...okay, jogging...okay 8 minutes of jogging with 22 minutes of walking for the past 2 days. I'm doing the couch to 5k podcast from Itunes. The guy speaking cracks my ass up especially when during the 5th interval of running he prefices it with "You should be feeling the effects of your running, but should not feel out of breath or tired." By this interval I'm wheezing like an asthmatic, could sleep on the side of the road, trying not to throw up, and am DEFINITELY feeling the effects of my running. I also know that people drive by and laugh at me because I run so slow that a good fast paced walker could pass me. And I always laugh at those people when I see them "jogging." (I'm a bad person, I know)
In other paranormal news...I went to a "mock" investigation last weekend and scared the shit out of myself. We were practicing EVP work and sitting in the dark and after I got over my initial omg we're in the dark panic and calmed down I then thought I saw something walk by the window and almost peed on the sofa! I thought I held myself together pretty well and my coping skills allow me to talk myself down from full blown cardiac arrest to mild fast breathing. It was fun though and I learned how to use some cool stuff. I'm excited for our first real investigation. Hopefully I don't run screaming from the building or am found in the fetal position in a corner somewhere.
Peace out!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Ouija boards are bad
Wow...it's been a long time since I've blogged on here! I guess getting married, settling down, renovating a house, and starting a new job had not left me much time for adventures. Although getting married, settling down, renovating a house, and starting a new job is an adventure in itself for sure. Living in MA has been an experience. We ain't in GA no more! My overall impression of MA is that Boston is an amazing city, people here (for the most part) are rude and in a hurry, and I've never seen such terrible drivers. Perhaps its the fact that there are no lines in the pot hole covered roads that make them so cranky, but I've lived anywhere that its acceptable to just pull out into the road and wait for someone coming from the other direction to stop so you can pull in front of them meanwhile causing the traffic in the lane you are blocking to begin backing up. I of course NEVER let anyone get in front of me if they've done such an asinine thing. I have met some really good people and definitely think I'll have some really cool adventures while we're up here.
Have you heard of the website meetup.com? It's a way to meet people who share your same interests. I started a photography meetup and then let someone else take it over mostly because I didn't want to pay for it anymore. Or plan the events. Last fall I also joined a paranormal meetup, but didn't go to any meetings. I went to the paranormal groups website and they have openings for investigators so I applied and didn't hear anything so I kind of forgot about it. In January I got a call and went through 2 interviews and got picked to be an investigator! Last week I went to my first meeting with this group and it was really interesting! WThe meetup topics covered were ouija boards, tarot cards, and television shows. Apparently ouija boards are bad. My parents, in their infinite wisdom, bought me one when I was in middle school. I made a comment about how it was good tomorrow was garbage day, but found out that apparently you aren't just supposed to throw ouija boards away! There's some kind of ritual involved to get rid of a ouija board that may or may not involved burying it. I can tell you what there ain't no way I'm burying that thing on my property. I'll have to sneak onto my neighbors property (the ones with the dog that barks all thet time) and bury it over there. The entire drive home from my meeting I thought about this stupid ouija board! My mom does not feel I'll be able to go into a "haunted" house to investigate and Paul thinks the night may end with me peeing on myself and running out of the house screaming, but I think I can be a little braver than that. Granted we watched Paranormal Activity 3 weeks ago and I am still scared that something is going to grab my leg during the night and drag me out of the bed, but regardless. It'll be okay. The other investigators are really nice and really funny and we are having a mock investigation tonight to go over equipment, etc. I think my first real investigation is going to be in April.
Other than that I'm still fat. I've lost no weight and have actually gained weight. Recently I started changing my diet and am trying to add working out into the mix, but its the damn wine. I love the wine! I know this love is not going to aid in my weight loss. I've been tossing around the idea of calorie counting and we'll see how that goes. I just don't want to get pregnant again and weigh so much! We'll be heading off to the gym soon.
It's a damp, rainy day here in MA and I can't wait for spring to get here!
Have you heard of the website meetup.com? It's a way to meet people who share your same interests. I started a photography meetup and then let someone else take it over mostly because I didn't want to pay for it anymore. Or plan the events. Last fall I also joined a paranormal meetup, but didn't go to any meetings. I went to the paranormal groups website and they have openings for investigators so I applied and didn't hear anything so I kind of forgot about it. In January I got a call and went through 2 interviews and got picked to be an investigator! Last week I went to my first meeting with this group and it was really interesting! WThe meetup topics covered were ouija boards, tarot cards, and television shows. Apparently ouija boards are bad. My parents, in their infinite wisdom, bought me one when I was in middle school. I made a comment about how it was good tomorrow was garbage day, but found out that apparently you aren't just supposed to throw ouija boards away! There's some kind of ritual involved to get rid of a ouija board that may or may not involved burying it. I can tell you what there ain't no way I'm burying that thing on my property. I'll have to sneak onto my neighbors property (the ones with the dog that barks all thet time) and bury it over there. The entire drive home from my meeting I thought about this stupid ouija board! My mom does not feel I'll be able to go into a "haunted" house to investigate and Paul thinks the night may end with me peeing on myself and running out of the house screaming, but I think I can be a little braver than that. Granted we watched Paranormal Activity 3 weeks ago and I am still scared that something is going to grab my leg during the night and drag me out of the bed, but regardless. It'll be okay. The other investigators are really nice and really funny and we are having a mock investigation tonight to go over equipment, etc. I think my first real investigation is going to be in April.
Other than that I'm still fat. I've lost no weight and have actually gained weight. Recently I started changing my diet and am trying to add working out into the mix, but its the damn wine. I love the wine! I know this love is not going to aid in my weight loss. I've been tossing around the idea of calorie counting and we'll see how that goes. I just don't want to get pregnant again and weigh so much! We'll be heading off to the gym soon.
It's a damp, rainy day here in MA and I can't wait for spring to get here!
Sunday, September 20, 2009
The glory that is Ikea
My husband of 2 weeks and I spent the morning at Ikea. I had never experienced the glory that is Ikea until they built one in Tampa. Driving up to Ikea is like driving up to Disney World or the chocolate factory. There are lots of directional signs for parking, receiving, the entrance. During the grand opening in Tampa there were even parking attendants directing traffic into the parking lots. When you enter into Ikea there's a greeter handing out maps. You take the elevator upstairs and you enter into a whole new world.
My eyes light up with wonder as I gaze about at all the glorious household items. Things I never even knew I needed or wanted are all present in Ikea. And much like Veruca Salt I want it all! I want a cow rug, and a couch, and a chair, and a bookshelf, and an egg timer, and a plant, and...
My favorite part of Ikea is the little decorated "houses." I feel I could comfortably live in 490 square feet if it was furnished by Ikea. The mini kitchen, the bunk bed with the desk underneath, and the tiny toilet next to the tiny shower...what more could anyone want?
And they put arrows on the floor so you don't get lost. I think Disney could learn a thing or two from Ikea on directional flow. And as you glide from one room to the next you are constantly bedazzled by all the home furnishings. Design Star here I come!
Then you walk through an opening and there's a cafeteria with the best meatballs in the world. Down the escalator into the Marketplace where you can get an incredibly well oiled shopping cart and pick and choose to your hearts content of any accessory you could imagine. Then through another opening into the shelves where all the furniture you saw is stored neatly on shelves for your own selection.
I love Ikea. I love everything about Ikea. And I love my husband of 2 weeks (15 days to be exact). This marriage is everything I'd hoped it would be and more. I feel blessed and happy every day...maybe not every minute of every day, but every day I do feel incredibly lucky and joyful to be with the person I imagined.
And tonight we're sitting in front of our newly working fireplace (1st time it's ever been used even though our house was built in 1964), eating Chinese take out and watching football (well, I'm reading a Fern Michaels book), and relaxing with our babies and I just don't think life could get any better than this. I hope everyone is having as great a Sunday as me.
My eyes light up with wonder as I gaze about at all the glorious household items. Things I never even knew I needed or wanted are all present in Ikea. And much like Veruca Salt I want it all! I want a cow rug, and a couch, and a chair, and a bookshelf, and an egg timer, and a plant, and...
My favorite part of Ikea is the little decorated "houses." I feel I could comfortably live in 490 square feet if it was furnished by Ikea. The mini kitchen, the bunk bed with the desk underneath, and the tiny toilet next to the tiny shower...what more could anyone want?
And they put arrows on the floor so you don't get lost. I think Disney could learn a thing or two from Ikea on directional flow. And as you glide from one room to the next you are constantly bedazzled by all the home furnishings. Design Star here I come!
Then you walk through an opening and there's a cafeteria with the best meatballs in the world. Down the escalator into the Marketplace where you can get an incredibly well oiled shopping cart and pick and choose to your hearts content of any accessory you could imagine. Then through another opening into the shelves where all the furniture you saw is stored neatly on shelves for your own selection.
I love Ikea. I love everything about Ikea. And I love my husband of 2 weeks (15 days to be exact). This marriage is everything I'd hoped it would be and more. I feel blessed and happy every day...maybe not every minute of every day, but every day I do feel incredibly lucky and joyful to be with the person I imagined.
And tonight we're sitting in front of our newly working fireplace (1st time it's ever been used even though our house was built in 1964), eating Chinese take out and watching football (well, I'm reading a Fern Michaels book), and relaxing with our babies and I just don't think life could get any better than this. I hope everyone is having as great a Sunday as me.
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