So, last week I drove down to FL to spend time with my dad and Patsy. On the way down I stopped at a rest area. Get out of my car, find the women's restroom, and head inside to do my business. There is someone in the stall next to me that has the hiccups. I'm sitting there thinking "That sounds like a guy." Of course I begin to wonder did a man stumble into the wrong restroom, am I in the wrong restroom, hmmmm....
The person comes out and their back is to me as they wash their hands. It looks like a very tall, very boxy shaped woman with shoulder length blond hair. Okay, so it's a woman. I go to the sink to wash my hands and I'm kind of checking the person out as they dry their hands.
As I follow this person out of the bathroom I notice their hands...OMG it is totally a MAN dressed like a woman. Total man hands, man legs, man arms...lady shorts, lady top, lady hair...weird transvestite man voice. And he meets up with another man outside.
I follow them over to the snack area to buy a pop and it is all I can do not to burst into hysterical laughter. It's not so much that it was a transvestite because that doesn't really bother me, but it's the fact of that I ALWAYS RUN INTO THE MOST RANDOM SHIT. I have to bite my tongue to keep from laughing so I'm sure I looked like I was having a seizure because my shoulders were shaking.
As my friend Kelly pointed out--at least he wasn't naked. (True story--when I worked for the state of KY I stopped at a rest area traveling home from seeing a kid in foster care. As I'm leaving the rest area I notice this man standing next to a van has NO PANTS ON and by no pants I also mean no underwear. Being a social worker I automatically go to "OMG someone is molesting that poor mentally handicapped man." I call 911 to report this naked man at the rest area and the dispatcher actually laughs at me. Another time traveling to the same foster home I am driving down a busy road with houses on one side. As I'm coming up to this one house this older man is standing on the front steps and I think he looks kind of strange, but his back is to me. Just as I pull alongside the front of the house he turns around and starts to walk towards the road AND HE IS BUTT ASS NAKED. I also saw a woman in a tank top and underwear at the bus stop once.) So, yes, it could've been worse.
Of course Paul goes immediately that I should have called the police on him because he could've been trying to dress as a woman to rape/kill/god knows what woman in the bathroom. And he wonders why I'm so paranoid.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Must hate running aka damn 5k
I've noticed lately that everyone I know seems to be jumping onto this running bandwagon. It seems like every FB status update I see has something to do with running this many miles or that 5k or what not. And I have been just as guilty. My current attempt at running as mostly to do with my fat belly, my fear of diabetes or heart disease, and my love of food and drink. I sense that my inability to lose my fat belly is directly related to the food and drink.
I am up to 1 mile, on the treadmill, at .5 incline. Outside is a whole other story. Case in point: the Race for Charity 5k we did this morning. Obviously NOT my idea.
Our friends, Emily and Clay, are doing a missions trip to Africa and they were able to raise money at this Race for Charity 5k and somehow I said Paul and I would "run" this 5k with them. I truly feel I must have been drunk when I made that promise; however, I do like to keep my promises to my friends so...
6:45am dawned bright and much earlier than I typically like to get up on a Saturday or any other day for that matter (my usual wake up time is anywhere between 8:30am and 10am...getting a real job in Boston is SO going to SUCK). I downed half a granola bar (Paul ate the other half) and a glass of milk and off we went.
The race started at 8am and there really were not a lot of people racing. It was going to be painfully obvious who the LAST runner was; however, I feel that somehow has to be last...might as well be me.
We start off at the track at the middle school. I am highly out of breath before we get off the track onto the road portion. Emily keeps telling me to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth. A good theory, but one that interferes with my ability to SUCK in air as fast as I possibly could. At this point I am just trying not to pass out...not even an entire mile into the race.
I tell Paul that he can go on without me and Emily sacrifices herself to stay with me. If she hadn't then I totally would've been the absolute last runner. We then get passed by a man in a wheelchair; however, we are able to overtake him...I think only because we are going uphill. Once we hit the downward side he passed us with nary a glance our way. We never caught up with him again. Yes, a man in a wheelchair beat me (I say me because I definitely held Emily back from reaching her potential which I totally appreciated).
Emily talked the entire time we ran. I tried to answer; however, when she sensed that answering her was interfering with my ability to breathe she told me I didn't have to answer her to which I grunted out my gratitude. I will say that she was an awesome running coach. Besides her impractical advice on breathing, she did motivate me to push myself and tell me what spots to walk to and what spots to run to. She guessed I ran about 75% of the time which was a lot better than I thought I would do.
To give you a guess as to how slow we were...a cop had to bring up the rear of the runners because we were on a road. I don't even think the cop car would idle as slow as we were running. Even more embarrassing is that none of the cars behind the cop could pass him so it was like we were leading a parade. Some of the cops were super nice (they were at every intersection) and would give us encouragement as we ran by (while secretly thinking what the hell are these girls doing aka hurry the fuck up I'm sure); however, eventually the cop behind us gave up and drove off.
There was a water station and anyone who knows me knows I am big into recycling. We both got cups of water and as we were running Emily drank her's and threw it on the ground. I actually stopped and looked at her with my mouth open. She assured me that they come and pick them up and I said do you promise and she said yes and I begrudgingly through my cup down. I still feel uncomfortable about it.
On the way back, around mile 2, I did not feel good. I have bad sinuses, there's a lot of phlegm involved in my airways, and Emily asked me if I was going to throw up. I did not...mostly out of sheer embarrassment at throwing up on the side of a busy road. At this point I felt like I was running through jello as my legs were moving so slow.
When we got closer to the event I said something to Emily about being surprised Paul hadn't come back for us and then he came around the corner! Emily said how blessed I am to have him and she is totally right! He ran with us the entire end. We got back to the track and slowly made our way back around towards the finish line. Mile 3 and only 2/10ths left to go. Paul told us if we sprinted we could make sub 40 so we did and came in at 39 minutes...the last ones to complete the race!
We then did a cool down lap (walking of course) and had some water and were home by 9:30am. I showered and took a nap. And when Paul woke up from his nap we went to lunch and then I went and saw the Hannah Montana movie (which was really cute so don't hate). My legs hurt so bad I had to take a bath when I got home. I still can't bend my knees, or feel my toes, but eventually my chest pains stopped. Thank god for small miracles I guess. Or maybe a large one as who knows whats going on inside there.
No, I didn't win any prizes today; however, I did get to spend 39 minutes with a great friend, have more proof of how much Paul loves me (not that I needed it) and completed the goal I set for myself. All in all, I definitely came out a winner today and what could be better than that!
I am up to 1 mile, on the treadmill, at .5 incline. Outside is a whole other story. Case in point: the Race for Charity 5k we did this morning. Obviously NOT my idea.
Our friends, Emily and Clay, are doing a missions trip to Africa and they were able to raise money at this Race for Charity 5k and somehow I said Paul and I would "run" this 5k with them. I truly feel I must have been drunk when I made that promise; however, I do like to keep my promises to my friends so...
6:45am dawned bright and much earlier than I typically like to get up on a Saturday or any other day for that matter (my usual wake up time is anywhere between 8:30am and 10am...getting a real job in Boston is SO going to SUCK). I downed half a granola bar (Paul ate the other half) and a glass of milk and off we went.
The race started at 8am and there really were not a lot of people racing. It was going to be painfully obvious who the LAST runner was; however, I feel that somehow has to be last...might as well be me.
We start off at the track at the middle school. I am highly out of breath before we get off the track onto the road portion. Emily keeps telling me to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth. A good theory, but one that interferes with my ability to SUCK in air as fast as I possibly could. At this point I am just trying not to pass out...not even an entire mile into the race.
I tell Paul that he can go on without me and Emily sacrifices herself to stay with me. If she hadn't then I totally would've been the absolute last runner. We then get passed by a man in a wheelchair; however, we are able to overtake him...I think only because we are going uphill. Once we hit the downward side he passed us with nary a glance our way. We never caught up with him again. Yes, a man in a wheelchair beat me (I say me because I definitely held Emily back from reaching her potential which I totally appreciated).
Emily talked the entire time we ran. I tried to answer; however, when she sensed that answering her was interfering with my ability to breathe she told me I didn't have to answer her to which I grunted out my gratitude. I will say that she was an awesome running coach. Besides her impractical advice on breathing, she did motivate me to push myself and tell me what spots to walk to and what spots to run to. She guessed I ran about 75% of the time which was a lot better than I thought I would do.
To give you a guess as to how slow we were...a cop had to bring up the rear of the runners because we were on a road. I don't even think the cop car would idle as slow as we were running. Even more embarrassing is that none of the cars behind the cop could pass him so it was like we were leading a parade. Some of the cops were super nice (they were at every intersection) and would give us encouragement as we ran by (while secretly thinking what the hell are these girls doing aka hurry the fuck up I'm sure); however, eventually the cop behind us gave up and drove off.
There was a water station and anyone who knows me knows I am big into recycling. We both got cups of water and as we were running Emily drank her's and threw it on the ground. I actually stopped and looked at her with my mouth open. She assured me that they come and pick them up and I said do you promise and she said yes and I begrudgingly through my cup down. I still feel uncomfortable about it.
On the way back, around mile 2, I did not feel good. I have bad sinuses, there's a lot of phlegm involved in my airways, and Emily asked me if I was going to throw up. I did not...mostly out of sheer embarrassment at throwing up on the side of a busy road. At this point I felt like I was running through jello as my legs were moving so slow.
When we got closer to the event I said something to Emily about being surprised Paul hadn't come back for us and then he came around the corner! Emily said how blessed I am to have him and she is totally right! He ran with us the entire end. We got back to the track and slowly made our way back around towards the finish line. Mile 3 and only 2/10ths left to go. Paul told us if we sprinted we could make sub 40 so we did and came in at 39 minutes...the last ones to complete the race!
We then did a cool down lap (walking of course) and had some water and were home by 9:30am. I showered and took a nap. And when Paul woke up from his nap we went to lunch and then I went and saw the Hannah Montana movie (which was really cute so don't hate). My legs hurt so bad I had to take a bath when I got home. I still can't bend my knees, or feel my toes, but eventually my chest pains stopped. Thank god for small miracles I guess. Or maybe a large one as who knows whats going on inside there.
No, I didn't win any prizes today; however, I did get to spend 39 minutes with a great friend, have more proof of how much Paul loves me (not that I needed it) and completed the goal I set for myself. All in all, I definitely came out a winner today and what could be better than that!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Changes
Well, I've been afraid of changing cause I've
Built my life around you
Time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older, too.
--Dixie Chicks, Stevie Nicks, Fleetwood Mac (?)
I've been thinking a lot lately about collections and the things that people collect. My dad loves...well, lets just say old crap...clocks, art, glass punch spoons. My mom hates collections of any kind. This is partially why my parents are now divorced. Paul is not a hoarder. I've inherited my love of collecting from my dad.
We are getting ready to move to Boston. I am lucky because I have several Kappa Delta sisters from Rollins up in Boston, including my big sis Janet who I haven't seen since she graduated, and others close by in Rhode Island. I know that the bonds that we formed in KD are enough for us to sit down together. We recently had a KD/Rollins reunion and when we were all together it was like no time had passed. We laughed and joked and it was like we were all 20 years old again. Sorority sisters, to me, is a given friendship.
But what about the other friends? Our move has made me melancholy and nostalgic. It has brought to mind all the friends that I've collected along the way. I remember co-facilitating a group for adolescents one time and my co-facilitator (my good friend Heather) made the comment that these teens would likely not have the same group of friends as adults as they did now (most of them were there for substance abuse and getting in trouble with the law with their friends) and she asked me how many of my high school friends I had. I was able to say that I have a lot of the same friends now that I had in high school, that I have been blessed to find really great friends, and I've worked really hard to keep them in my life. Although I may not see them or talk to them as much as I like that doesn't mean I don't cherish them and our shared history and shared future.
When I sit down and think about it, it amazes me that some of my friends and I have gotten to the point in our lives that we have known each other longer now than we haven't known each other...meaning we have been friends over half our lives. Kristy-friends since 4th grade. Robyn & Sean-friends since age 13. Josh & Justin-friends since age 16. Amanda & Cory-friends since 9th grade. Katie & Jen-friends since 7th grade. Kelly, Suzanne, Leah, Nadine, all my KD sisters-friends since college (and many of us just celebrated 10 years out of college). Kelley & Danielle and all my CFC compadres-friends for 9 years. Karin-friends for our entire lives. Not to mention the friends I made upon my divorce--Katie R., SamE, LeaAnn, Jane & Ty, Lisa B. & Lisa C., Alex, Nichele, Mary, Melissa, Mimi & David, Breun, Amanda H., Tara & Jeff.
When I left Florida, I was so heartbroken to leave my friends. Although I consider Paul to be my bestest, it's not quite the same as a girlfriend. I have always had a strong connection to my girlfriends. They have always gotten me through those times...good and bad. They have been the ones I've turned to when my family, life, boyfriends, job has been driving me crazy. Without them I wouldn't have survived.
I thought for sure I would never find the kind of friends in Valdosta, GA that I had in Florida...and I was wrong. Here I am...8 months after moving to GA, hating the first 4 months I was here, and finding now that I don't want to leave. Even though Valdosta doesn't have a ton of amazing restaurants, much less an Olive Garden, and tons of cool bars, and the beach, and all the things I miss about Sarasota...it has my friends...Emily, Anne-Marie, Brittney, Beth-Anne, Courtney, Erika, and all the other wonderful women I've met in Valdosta, GA.
I wonder in 9 years, when Paul retires from the Air Force, and we are done moving, how many amazing people will have been brought into my life. I wonder how many amazing friends I will have made and where we will all be in life. Kids will be grown, jobs will have changed, but I will continue to work hard to hold on to those who are important to me and I know that forever our lives will be connected. And when we are old and wrinkly we will look back at our lives...and laugh...and laugh...
Old friends,
Old friends
Sat on their park bench
Like bookends.
A newspaper blown though the grass
Falls on the round toes
Of the high shoes
Of the old friends.
Old friends,
Winter companions,
The old men
Lost in their overcoats,
Waiting for the sunset.
The sounds of the city,
Sifting through trees,
Settle like dust
On the shoulders
Of the old friends.
Can you imagine us
Years from today,
Sharing a park bench quietly?
How terribly strange
To be seventy.
Old friends,
Memory brushes the same years
Silently sharing the same fears.
--Simon and Garfunkel
PS If I didn't mention you by name, it doesn't mean I cherish our friendship any less. It just means I had too much wine at Bunco tonight.
Built my life around you
Time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older, too.
--Dixie Chicks, Stevie Nicks, Fleetwood Mac (?)
I've been thinking a lot lately about collections and the things that people collect. My dad loves...well, lets just say old crap...clocks, art, glass punch spoons. My mom hates collections of any kind. This is partially why my parents are now divorced. Paul is not a hoarder. I've inherited my love of collecting from my dad.
We are getting ready to move to Boston. I am lucky because I have several Kappa Delta sisters from Rollins up in Boston, including my big sis Janet who I haven't seen since she graduated, and others close by in Rhode Island. I know that the bonds that we formed in KD are enough for us to sit down together. We recently had a KD/Rollins reunion and when we were all together it was like no time had passed. We laughed and joked and it was like we were all 20 years old again. Sorority sisters, to me, is a given friendship.
But what about the other friends? Our move has made me melancholy and nostalgic. It has brought to mind all the friends that I've collected along the way. I remember co-facilitating a group for adolescents one time and my co-facilitator (my good friend Heather) made the comment that these teens would likely not have the same group of friends as adults as they did now (most of them were there for substance abuse and getting in trouble with the law with their friends) and she asked me how many of my high school friends I had. I was able to say that I have a lot of the same friends now that I had in high school, that I have been blessed to find really great friends, and I've worked really hard to keep them in my life. Although I may not see them or talk to them as much as I like that doesn't mean I don't cherish them and our shared history and shared future.
When I sit down and think about it, it amazes me that some of my friends and I have gotten to the point in our lives that we have known each other longer now than we haven't known each other...meaning we have been friends over half our lives. Kristy-friends since 4th grade. Robyn & Sean-friends since age 13. Josh & Justin-friends since age 16. Amanda & Cory-friends since 9th grade. Katie & Jen-friends since 7th grade. Kelly, Suzanne, Leah, Nadine, all my KD sisters-friends since college (and many of us just celebrated 10 years out of college). Kelley & Danielle and all my CFC compadres-friends for 9 years. Karin-friends for our entire lives. Not to mention the friends I made upon my divorce--Katie R., SamE, LeaAnn, Jane & Ty, Lisa B. & Lisa C., Alex, Nichele, Mary, Melissa, Mimi & David, Breun, Amanda H., Tara & Jeff.
When I left Florida, I was so heartbroken to leave my friends. Although I consider Paul to be my bestest, it's not quite the same as a girlfriend. I have always had a strong connection to my girlfriends. They have always gotten me through those times...good and bad. They have been the ones I've turned to when my family, life, boyfriends, job has been driving me crazy. Without them I wouldn't have survived.
I thought for sure I would never find the kind of friends in Valdosta, GA that I had in Florida...and I was wrong. Here I am...8 months after moving to GA, hating the first 4 months I was here, and finding now that I don't want to leave. Even though Valdosta doesn't have a ton of amazing restaurants, much less an Olive Garden, and tons of cool bars, and the beach, and all the things I miss about Sarasota...it has my friends...Emily, Anne-Marie, Brittney, Beth-Anne, Courtney, Erika, and all the other wonderful women I've met in Valdosta, GA.
I wonder in 9 years, when Paul retires from the Air Force, and we are done moving, how many amazing people will have been brought into my life. I wonder how many amazing friends I will have made and where we will all be in life. Kids will be grown, jobs will have changed, but I will continue to work hard to hold on to those who are important to me and I know that forever our lives will be connected. And when we are old and wrinkly we will look back at our lives...and laugh...and laugh...
Old friends,
Old friends
Sat on their park bench
Like bookends.
A newspaper blown though the grass
Falls on the round toes
Of the high shoes
Of the old friends.
Old friends,
Winter companions,
The old men
Lost in their overcoats,
Waiting for the sunset.
The sounds of the city,
Sifting through trees,
Settle like dust
On the shoulders
Of the old friends.
Can you imagine us
Years from today,
Sharing a park bench quietly?
How terribly strange
To be seventy.
Old friends,
Memory brushes the same years
Silently sharing the same fears.
--Simon and Garfunkel
PS If I didn't mention you by name, it doesn't mean I cherish our friendship any less. It just means I had too much wine at Bunco tonight.
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