The other day I ran to Target to get some stuff and for a minute I had to stop and look around because it seemed like I was at Walmart. Now I'm not gonna make any derogatory comments about Walmart or the people who shop there, but my friends who patronize Walmart and Target will know exactly what I'm talking about.
I decided to make a bathroom break, because unlike Walmart the Target bathrooms are typically clean, and I left my cart outside the door. Since none of those check out lanes were open and there would be no reason for anyone to be down there unless they were using the restroom I felt secure with my cart. Um, not so much. It was gone when I got out of the bathroom. Of course I was too lazy to walk back down and get another cart so I decided I'd carry all my stuff.
I started in the luggage section, walked back to the beauty section on the other side of the store, passing the carts as I walked across the store, didn't stop to get a cart, and then walked back across the store to the toy section...all the while carrying a suitcase and an armload of travel size supplies. I did stop in the electronics section to grab a basket which for some reason were placed near the cameras.
I wanted to buy a toy for my niece Abby who Paul and I are going to see this weekend. I have something specific in mind, but am not sure where it'll be so I start at the first toy aisle. You know those children's balls that have glitter in them and light up when you bounce them? There's a boy about age 11 holding one of these in pink and he says to me, "Sparkly balls...just doesn't seem right." How am I even supposed to respond to that? I just mumbled something and quickly hurried past him.
5 minutes later I got to meet his brother age 17. Brother asks me what time it is so I respond, "Quarter of twelve." Brother just stares at me with a completely blank expression so I say, "11:45." "Mom, it's 11:45!" I regret that I didn't at least turn my head to see what mom looked like, but by then I was ready to be out of Target before anyone else could talk to me.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Paul tried to get me arrested
For my married female friends let me ask you these questions: You trust your husband to not lead you into a bad situation, to always have your best interest at heart, and to give you good advice right? Me, too.
So, last night we go into Boston to meet some friends for dinner. It was downtown so too far to park at the coast guard base and walk (which is our usual M.O.) plus it was rainy. I would've been quite happy to look for street parking because I can parallel park (unlike someone else I live who will remain nameless); however, Paul said that he would rather we park in a garage.
We pull into a garage not too far from the restaurant and Paul tells me to turn left. I'm trying to read a sign posted before the gate into the garage and Paul's saying just pull in, what are you doing so I take my ticket and we go into the garage (during all this time your license plate is taped as is your face when you get your ticket)...which is ALL reserved parking spaces. We get lost in this maze of an underground garage for what feels like forever before finding our way back to the exit.
Now in most large cities you do not get any kind of freebies so 0-20 minutes in the garage was like $8. There is a car in front of us paying and getting ready to exit the garage and Paul tells me to just follow that guy through the gate, but go quick. So, I do. Well, those little gates stay in the air for a total of about 1.3 seconds. The next thing I know the gate has hit the top of my car and is scraping along my roof rack and actually may have been ripped off and fallen to the ground behind us. Paul's response "I can't believe you just did that!" Um, YOU TOLD ME TOO!!!!
I am MORTIFIED! And instead of leaving the garage we go across the aisle into the public section of the garage where we park the car. For the entire dinner I am imagining that my car is going to have a boot on it when we get back, that's it going to be towed, that there's going to be a ticket. I have so much anxiety that I don't even want to go back and get the car after dinner.
None of those things happen; however, I am convinced that I will be getting a ticket in the mail or a court summons or a bill for damages. If anyone is in law enforcement or legal work and has any idea of what I may be facing and could please email me or leave a comment on my FB I'd greatly appreciate it. I'm too pretty to go to jail although my loving husband apparently wanted me to get arrested.
So, last night we go into Boston to meet some friends for dinner. It was downtown so too far to park at the coast guard base and walk (which is our usual M.O.) plus it was rainy. I would've been quite happy to look for street parking because I can parallel park (unlike someone else I live who will remain nameless); however, Paul said that he would rather we park in a garage.
We pull into a garage not too far from the restaurant and Paul tells me to turn left. I'm trying to read a sign posted before the gate into the garage and Paul's saying just pull in, what are you doing so I take my ticket and we go into the garage (during all this time your license plate is taped as is your face when you get your ticket)...which is ALL reserved parking spaces. We get lost in this maze of an underground garage for what feels like forever before finding our way back to the exit.
Now in most large cities you do not get any kind of freebies so 0-20 minutes in the garage was like $8. There is a car in front of us paying and getting ready to exit the garage and Paul tells me to just follow that guy through the gate, but go quick. So, I do. Well, those little gates stay in the air for a total of about 1.3 seconds. The next thing I know the gate has hit the top of my car and is scraping along my roof rack and actually may have been ripped off and fallen to the ground behind us. Paul's response "I can't believe you just did that!" Um, YOU TOLD ME TOO!!!!
I am MORTIFIED! And instead of leaving the garage we go across the aisle into the public section of the garage where we park the car. For the entire dinner I am imagining that my car is going to have a boot on it when we get back, that's it going to be towed, that there's going to be a ticket. I have so much anxiety that I don't even want to go back and get the car after dinner.
None of those things happen; however, I am convinced that I will be getting a ticket in the mail or a court summons or a bill for damages. If anyone is in law enforcement or legal work and has any idea of what I may be facing and could please email me or leave a comment on my FB I'd greatly appreciate it. I'm too pretty to go to jail although my loving husband apparently wanted me to get arrested.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Hell
Everyone who knows me knows that I may be one of the nosiest people on the planet. When I call a friend or family member the first thing I say is "Hey, what are you doing?" And I have no problem eavesdropping on other's conversations.
Tonight though....tonight gave me a glimpse as to what would happen if I died and went to hell.
We went to Uno Chicago Grill for dinner (fyi I don't like that Uno merged with Chicago Grill because they took the greek salad off the menu although I did have a very delicious spring mix, goat cheese, walnut with olive oil/lemon vinagrette salad this evening). We were seated in very comfy seats next to a wall and a table of 3 (2 females and 1 male) on the other side of us.
My hell would be spending all of eternity next to this women. They literally did not stop talking for the entire meal. And I don't mean they just talked a lot I mean I am not sure how they continued to breathe with the amount of words coming out of their mouths. Surely your brain cannot be deprived of oxygen for that long. If I was the guy sitting with them I would've run screaming out of the restaurant because he may have uttered 5 sentences the whole time. Of course he may have been serving out some type of community service forcing him to sit there and listen to these 2 windbags.
Initially it was just the 1 woman monopolizing the conversation and expounding on her coworkers, mutual friends, etc., but during the brief period she stopped to eat her salad the other woman jumped in and off they went!
Literally these women did not eat any of their food because they did not shut up. I tried to rupture my eardrums in the bathroom, but apparently that is harder than you'd think to do. I begged Paul to do it for me with the knife, but he refused. I think he wanted me to suffer with him. The woman who annoyed us initially talked about helping her parents clean out their garage. She inventoried every item they had for her dinner companions. Some items of note...shovels, lots and lots of shovel, but the kind you use for digging dirt (apparently she didn't want us to confuse them with plastic children's shovels you use at the beach for making sandcastles), 15 of them...a bird cage that her mother uses to nurse back to health birds that run into the side of the house and become injured...a microwave that some "poor Hispanics" took from the end of the driveway...Paul and I were laughing so hysterically and making fun of these women that I have no idea how they didn't know we were talking about them because we didn't even pretend not to be talking about them.
The other woman then changed the topic to yoga and how much she loves yoga, but how she's not sure she could handle hot yoga because it's 90 minutes long and what temperature is the room (which they then debated on). Paul had escaped during this time to take our leftovers to the car so we could walk around the mall after. So much talking.
Paul and I debated for a minute if we were on that show "What would you do?" but quickly dismissed that as being too cruel. I do believe if I had stabbed both of the women I could've used an insanity defense because Paul could've testified for me as to how these women ridiculous chatter was enough to drive any person insane.
I know I may sound judgmental, but you cannot know the pain of having to sit next to these 2 women for an entire meal. I would've paid them to stop talking. In fact I told Paul to offer them all the money in his wallet. It was not our weekend for restaurants because last night at Japanese steakhouse (another fyi no Japanese restaurants in New England have shrimp sauce or good sauce at all with their teppanyaki meals! Its soooo disappointing) we sat next to a family and the mother had this shrill, annoying, would not shut up voice. She was so loud!
So that is what my hell would be...stuck next to these 2 women for all of eternity. I will definitely be saying extra prayers for my soul tonight!
Tonight though....tonight gave me a glimpse as to what would happen if I died and went to hell.
We went to Uno Chicago Grill for dinner (fyi I don't like that Uno merged with Chicago Grill because they took the greek salad off the menu although I did have a very delicious spring mix, goat cheese, walnut with olive oil/lemon vinagrette salad this evening). We were seated in very comfy seats next to a wall and a table of 3 (2 females and 1 male) on the other side of us.
My hell would be spending all of eternity next to this women. They literally did not stop talking for the entire meal. And I don't mean they just talked a lot I mean I am not sure how they continued to breathe with the amount of words coming out of their mouths. Surely your brain cannot be deprived of oxygen for that long. If I was the guy sitting with them I would've run screaming out of the restaurant because he may have uttered 5 sentences the whole time. Of course he may have been serving out some type of community service forcing him to sit there and listen to these 2 windbags.
Initially it was just the 1 woman monopolizing the conversation and expounding on her coworkers, mutual friends, etc., but during the brief period she stopped to eat her salad the other woman jumped in and off they went!
Literally these women did not eat any of their food because they did not shut up. I tried to rupture my eardrums in the bathroom, but apparently that is harder than you'd think to do. I begged Paul to do it for me with the knife, but he refused. I think he wanted me to suffer with him. The woman who annoyed us initially talked about helping her parents clean out their garage. She inventoried every item they had for her dinner companions. Some items of note...shovels, lots and lots of shovel, but the kind you use for digging dirt (apparently she didn't want us to confuse them with plastic children's shovels you use at the beach for making sandcastles), 15 of them...a bird cage that her mother uses to nurse back to health birds that run into the side of the house and become injured...a microwave that some "poor Hispanics" took from the end of the driveway...Paul and I were laughing so hysterically and making fun of these women that I have no idea how they didn't know we were talking about them because we didn't even pretend not to be talking about them.
The other woman then changed the topic to yoga and how much she loves yoga, but how she's not sure she could handle hot yoga because it's 90 minutes long and what temperature is the room (which they then debated on). Paul had escaped during this time to take our leftovers to the car so we could walk around the mall after. So much talking.
Paul and I debated for a minute if we were on that show "What would you do?" but quickly dismissed that as being too cruel. I do believe if I had stabbed both of the women I could've used an insanity defense because Paul could've testified for me as to how these women ridiculous chatter was enough to drive any person insane.
I know I may sound judgmental, but you cannot know the pain of having to sit next to these 2 women for an entire meal. I would've paid them to stop talking. In fact I told Paul to offer them all the money in his wallet. It was not our weekend for restaurants because last night at Japanese steakhouse (another fyi no Japanese restaurants in New England have shrimp sauce or good sauce at all with their teppanyaki meals! Its soooo disappointing) we sat next to a family and the mother had this shrill, annoying, would not shut up voice. She was so loud!
So that is what my hell would be...stuck next to these 2 women for all of eternity. I will definitely be saying extra prayers for my soul tonight!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
LinkWithin
